Liv's Legacy: Anise

Our night time love making now restricted, we did a lot of cuddling after we'd enjoyed loving each other at the same time. That was good as we were able to silence our natural expressions of pleasure. Besides, our next night would be at home where we needn't have the need for any silence. Still, our time in the cabin was a marvelously delicious delayed honeymoon.

On leaving, we hugged and kissed Cate and Haley.

Epilogue

It had all sunk into me. The book I'd bought, plus the book Mary bought, we individually read both of them, then we went looking for more books that were recommended by Liv. What Mary had helped me learn, and what the books showed me I could find, had my eyes opening wide to the truth of the lies.

I'd left home almost by stealth; yes, I had said I was leaving, but did so immediately and without reason being given. What would have happened to me otherwise was unthinkable as well as unspeakable.

True, I may probably have met Mary, and most likely fallen in love with her—as humans, we do need love, need a connection with other humans. Mary was the one I connected with. My happiness, however, would have been in great doubt were it not for a woman I never knew, a woman I would never be able to meet—Liv Carter.

The debt I have to her is enormous for though I had met Mary, and loved her, and she loved me, it would probably not have been enough to sustain us as a loving couple. Doubtless our love would have disintegrated at some point even with Mary's great patience. What had been instilled in me from birth by my church, and by the beliefs of my parents, and the silence all of it habituated in me, would have made any significant intimate connection with another person impossible.

Secrets kept are habits of silence made, and habits die hard, especially the silent ones. The longer habits are within, the harder it is to do anything about them. My leaving as I did may have been just in time to make me susceptible to logic as Mary led me to see, and to understand. Had she not known Liv, she would not have been able to lead me to that same logic that wipes away the veils of lies, and thereby give you a measure of enlightenment.

No, I, like Liv, and the rest of us in our group, do not know 'the truth', or if there is a God or Goddess, not even what Jesus truly said, and how, or what all he actually did. Perhaps there is no god, and things just are because it's possible to be. We don't know, nor do any of us think that that is how it probably is, or isn't. We've realized that we still lack the knowledge of any Divine being, or other rationale, or whatever one wishes to call it, but we seek as best we can. For sure, we don't make up any stories because it sounds right to us, therefore it must be right, and lies definitely don't help.

For now, I am happy in my love of Mary, the love we share with each other, and the love and friendship that we have with our group. That sweetest of loves, the love each of us have with our partners as Mary and I share, is all we want, along with working to find out what we can about what the truth of who we truly are, why we are, and how it all came about.

What has happened to us since we left the cabin was that Mary and I discussed what to do, and settled on talking with Cate since Jabs was setting up to restart Liv's classes for lesbians who need to overcome the lie that they are an abomination before God, just as I had to overcome that same lie.

In speaking with Cate, she thought for a long time, then suggested that I call my mother for the sake of her peace, and my own , but to not saying anything specific about what happened to me, or why I left. Yes, I did reveal all that had happened, and my, our, concerns about what was the right thing to do when others were considered: my family, and other possible, or potential, victims of Joann and her husband, and Pastor Malloy.

Oddly, and surprisingly, she further asked that we trust her, and that she'd have more to say later on, perhaps a month, perhaps more. Cate is an unusual person, a person that we know we can trust, and a person of great knowledge, as well as a person with a marvelous heart. For those reasons, and the nebulous words we'd heard of how she and Haley came together, we had a feeling that we should agree. Whatever she had in mind to do, we had no idea, but we made up our minds that we would be patient and put our trust in her. Haley's words, though shrouded in mystery too, also had us believing we were doing the right thing.

I called my mother, and let her know I was well, and after we both shed many tears, I told her I was in love, and with another woman—that I was a lesbian, and had known it for some time, and feared discovery, thus I left to save them embarrassment. Again, after some words, and many more tears, she told me she loved me nonetheless, and I was still her daughter.

However, she pretty well knew my father wouldn't be so forgiving, nor my sister, and probably not my brother. When I then told her that Mary would love to meet her, and if she thought it unwise for us to go see her, that we'd love to have her come visit us. She agreed that it was for the best that she do that. She was going to call us when she knew when she could come to see us.

Jabs did start up Liv's classes again, and Mary said I should go to get all of it as they all had, and that she would go with me if I said yes. I had to go, and we did attend together.

After about three weeks into the class, Cate called and with Haley, they came to see us.

"Thank you for trusting me. I have personal reasons for wanting to do something, and since I had the resources, I fished for which to use, asked a few people for opinions without revealing my reasons, and now it's about to be over and done with. Either tomorrow or the next day, you may read about a church where a pastor, and an assistant and his wife, were found to be in an ongoing sexual tryst. They will also be investigating them deeper, as well as church finances."

She wouldn't tell us more, said it would be of no use to us, and if we somehow slipped even an innocuous word or two, it might put others in jeopardy, but mostly, they just didn't wish to be known. We agreed.

It was a few days later that the sexual proclivities of the three was made public—several days before we expected my mother to arrive. We knew there would be many questions, what with my 'suspicions' of discovery and this being exposed, it was all happening too close together for her not to wonder.

As best we can, we expect to mend fences with my mother at the least, and for her to get to know Mary whom I knew she would love—Mary had too much honesty and goodness of person not to love her.

Would my life have been this good had it not been for Liv Carter and her classes? It's possible, but I seriously doubt it. Her teachings were too significant to my mind, too honest and filled with clarity to keep my habits from being doubted as I never had. It is true that they were tormenting me to near insanity. I wish there was something, someway, I could let Liv know how indebted I am to her, and for the sacrifices she made to help us, those lesbians such as Paula, Caryn, and I, as well as the many others who attended her classes and benefitted from her work.

Perhaps she does know. Who can say. Then again, I may be able to pass on some of those lessons to a sister in need as Liv advocated we do. Yes, it wasn't the same as letting Liv know how much I thanked her, but I would help another sister if I came across one in similar straits. Lies shouldn't rule us.

~end~

Liv's Legacy: Anise, is an original story, and copyright © by wistfall1 . No copying, or use without the author's specific written approval.