Loosening Up Bk. 11 Ch. 21-25

"Of course, there is no obligation or requirement that you participate. There are other places to go, and you can always shut and lock the bedroom door. The parties are rarely noisy, but there is often some romantic music or music to inspire some ardent lovemaking. You also don't need to decide now, but when some of the band start to arrive, they often want to party before the concert."

KC and Dave ate their meal. Their conversation revolved more about the seafood and the ambiance of the restaurant and San Francisco than anything else. Dave traded some details of life stories with KC. They talked about the things they were grateful for, and the things they would have changed growing up.

Dave asked KC what she wanted to be remembered for well in the future as a group celebrated her life. She was thoughtful about a family, children that contributed to society more than she did, and having lived some of her dreams. The dreams became part of the discussion, but Dave kept the discussion non-sexual.

Dave also asked her, "Tell me about a personal problem you're facing that you might want my help in resolving?" This was one of his favorite questions to help him learn about someone.

KC hesitated but then reluctantly spoke with a slight frown, "Jordan. As of three weeks ago, I don't think we're going to have a lasting marriage. Help. I gave him an ultimatum, but I don't think it's going to stick."

"What was that?"

"No more heroin. I discovered he was shooting up with increasing frequency. I realized he was dipping into our savings to buy the stuff. I withdrew just about all our money and put it in an account in only my name. I laid it on the line with him -- clean up or get out. We'd been drifting apart, and I suddenly learned who is new mistress is -- smack."

"I'm sorry for you. That's tough. I have no experience with that kind of problem, but let me gnaw on it for a bit. If you just want to vent about him or the situation, I'm here for you. I assume you've talked about counseling and withdrawal clinics?"

"We have, thank you. He won't go. I'm not sure there's much of a solution other than the obvious one. I need to clear out. I've smoked some pot, but never anything stronger. That's not me. I can't even contemplate staying unless he goes cold turkey and quits. All my instincts tell me to separate."

Dave reached over and held KC's hand. Tears rolled down her cheeks.