Lost at Sea Bk. 02 Ch. 18

Not today.

She could feel it, that hot, wet tension building inside her, just like it always did. It seemed like she was close a few times, but just like the other night every time she got close the tension would slip away, cool a bit, release just enough to not let her get to that luscious breaking point that she desperately craved.

Her John started to pick up his pace. Her hands clenched in the sheets. She loved it. The steady, driving rhythm. The feeling of fullness. His strong hands, and that perfect bumping of that nexus of pleasure tucked a few inches inside her. She had an unspoken theory that some women were just better built for sex than others. It was a private source of pride for her. She might be a poor, uneducated, flat-chested orphan, but she could out-fuck any woman she'd ever met. Well, save for Bella. Someday, she thought she might be able to surpass her teacher too. After all, sex magic was about sex, and nobody loved sex as much as she did.

She loved her life now. She had a room, she ate every day, she was surrounded by fun people, Caine and Chance were always around to make sure she was safe, she got paid to do what she loved most, and made a pretty good living at it. A few months ago Chance told her she was pretty consistently in the top three earners at Mary's, not because she did anything special that cost extra, or because she had high-rolling regulars, but because she put in the hours and racked up the numbers. A quick dip and wash between clients was all she needed before she was out on the floor again. Her co-workers teased her about her love of cocks. She knew it was probably a bit too much when a bunch of whores told her that she was too much of a whore, but she wasn't ashamed. Cocks were proof of the love of the gods. They were all different, but they could all bump that button inside her enough to get her off. She had a regular who came in avery couple months who was too small to reach that spot, but she still enjoyed being with him because it let her practice getting off by playing with her clit instead. Bella kept telling her that she needed to practice sexual skills individually, but most of the time she couldn't. That spot inside her was too sensitive, so the only way she could practice external orgasms is if there wasn't any penetration at all. As soon as something was inside her, it took the reins.

Like now, for instance. Her hand was working furiously between her legs. Her head rolled to the side and pressed into the mattress, her breath ragged and full of breathy, demanding moans. The cock inside her was knocking on her pleasure button with every stroke, and her clit was buzzing with electrical joy, but it just wasn't enough. She clenched and writhed and tried, but nothing worked.

She couldn't come.

With a final thrust her John emptied his lust inside her and held her hips, breathing heavily for another minute. She just lay there, silently tangled in emotional knots, trying to figure out what was wrong with her.

Emptiness bloomed inside her as he withdrew. The gush and drip that she usually enjoyed was without any of the usual aftershocks. There was no satisfaction this time. Her John thanked her and got up from the bed. Her legs pushed out straight. She heard him get dressed but didn't move. He asked if she was alright. She nodded. "You wore me out, sweetheart. I'm just going to rest a bit."

He left feeling proud. She stayed where she was feeling frustrated and confused.

_______________________________

"Get out!" Belita snapped as the door to her cabin opened.

Bella froze, the words she tried to say dying on her lips as a cold, clammy fear gripped her heart. She gave the captain a fast nod and closed the door. The heavy thud of th wood hitting the frame jolted her.. She leaned against the wall for a moment, forcing her heart and breath to slow. She looked down at her shaking hands. What was that? What was Belita doing? Why was she angry? Bella took a few deeper breaths. Why had she reacted like that? The captain was her friend, and obviously hurting. Why was she so... scared?

On slightly wobbly legs, she walked across the ship, down the gangplank, and through the bustling camp to the infirmary. She felt like she was floating. She was moving, but she wasn't really feeling her feet hit the ground. Everything felt distant and automatic. She found Doctor Kalfou talking to Danica North. The First Mate was buttoning her shirt back up and nodding. Whatever she was saying cut off as she saw Bella. She tapped Doctor Kalfou on the arm and gestured. The Doctor's eyes found her and went wide. She walked over slowly. "What happened?"

There was a hollow rushing in Bella's ears. She hadn't noticed it, but through the fog in her head she realized she wasn't really hearing anything. Noticing that helped drag her back to coherency. The Doctor had said something, but she didn't know what. She felt like she couldn't speak. All she could do was shake her head.

The Doctor said something to Danica, who nodded and ran off into the camp, but Bella didn't really register. She felt strange. Distant. Not really able to think. She wanted to ask for help, but didn't know what to ask for. She let the doctor lead her to a crate covered in a blanket and let herself be sat down. The doctor checked her neck, her eyes, ran her fingers through her hair, and seemed deeply concerned. Bella wanted to reassure her. She smiled. It was all she could manage.

Danica came running back with Jack, who rushed up and practically threw herself to her knees in front of Bella. Their hands clasped. Jack snapped her head back and forth between Bella and the Doctor, talking quickly. Bella's brows furrowed. Jack. She wanted to say...

"Jack!" Bella forced out, pushing herself off the crate and into Jack's arms. They held each other, on their knees, Jack petting Bella's hair and whispering reassurances to her. Bella sobbed.

Danica and Doctor Kalfou waited. "What happened?" Danica asked.

"Do not know, I," Doctor Kalfou shook her head, worried.

"She was white as a ghost," Danica said, her concern plain on her face.

"Saw it last night also, during the attack," Doctor Kalfou nodded. "She came into the infirmary and looked just like that, pale and unresponsive. Miss Hunter managed to get through to her, and then I kept her focused at the time but whatever it is, it is clearly not dealt with."

"It's just her," Jack said quietly. "She used to wake up screaming, and slip into that fugue. She just needs to be held until she comes back."

Doctor Kalfou took a small breath of surprise and understanding.

"Night terrors. Right," Danica nodded "Had a crewman who used to get them. The Captain's old first mate before me managed to cure them. Seems weird during the day though."

"No," Doctor Kalfou shook her head. "For Miss Fortuna, her nightmares are a symptom. As is this dissociative state."

Danica was confused. "A symptom of what?"

"Miss Hunter, did Miss Fortuna... survive something terrible?" the Doctor asked.

Jack slowly nodded. "Lots of things. She's N'madi. Her childhood was one long string of horror and survival."

"The Purges," Doctor Kalfou said, her voice full of flint.

Jack nodded again, still holding Bella tightly.

"The Witch Purges On the Mainland?" Danica asked. Doctor Kalfou nodded. Danica looked sicked. "I've heard stories. I thought they had to be exaggerated. It all sounded like stuff the Skinsails might do. Whole caravans of people rounded up and burned. People branded, imprisoned, hung, just because there were Witches in their family. Bella survived that?"

"She lost almost everyone she'd ever known," Jack said. "I think she lived through three different slaughters, and a few other close calls. Her mother saved her, over and over again."

"Four," Bella muttered quietly. She unburied her face from the crook of Jack's neck and gave her a weak smile. "But that was a long time ago. It doesn't matter now."

Jack nodded and helped her to her feet.

"Sorry to cause such a fuss," Bella said, wiping her eyes. "I don't know what came over me. I guess last night hit me harder than I thought."

"Sit," Doctor Kalfou said firmly.

"No, it's alright," Bella said, smoothing her skirts. "You have more important things to do, and I really need to go find my Familiar."

Doctor Kalfou clapped once, loudly. Bella grabbed Jack in a death-grip and buried her face in Jack's shoulder, closing her eyes tightly. Jack put her arms around her again and glared at the Doctor. Then Bella slowly relaxed relaxed, let go, and looked at her shaking hands.

She sat down. "I think something's wrong."

Doctor Kalfou nodded. "Trauma sometimes leaves behind emotional echoes. They can come back in other times of stress."

"Like nightmares," Danica said, starting to understand.

"Or suddenly finding yourself in a room full of blood and screams," Doctor Kalfou said gently.

"What happened this time?" Jack asked.

Bella looked a little sheepish. "The Captain yelled at me."

Jack felt herself getting angry. "Bitch," she said through clenched teeth.

"Why?" Danica asked, confused. "That's not like her."

"I went into her cabin. I didn't know she was in there. I must have interrupted her. She told me to leave, so I did," Bella's brows narrowed in thought. "I couldn't see much. My eyes hadn't adjusted. I think she was... sitting on the floor. I don't think she was doing very well."

Danica sighed and rubbed her temples. "Dammit. I got this." She walked off toward the shore.

"Always worried about everyone except yourself," Jack smiled sadly. She sat down next to Bella on the crate and squeezed her hand.

"I'm alright, really," Bella insisted.

"For now," Doctor Kalfou said.

"Well yeah. That's the way it always is. I just have to avoid the things that set me off," Bella shrugged. "I've gotten pretty good at it. I'm just feeling a little raw after last night."

"You do not have to live like this," Doctor Kalfou said, kneeling down in front of her.

"It's not like a wound you can stitch up. It's just who I am," Bella shrugged.

"No," the Doctor said. "It is what was done to you. It is like a wound. It can be stitched up. It is not who you have to be."

Jack looked back and forth between Bella and the Doctor, hopeful and surprised. Bella looked troubled. "How?"

"We would start just by talking," Doctor Kalfou said gently.

"I really don't like to talk about it," Bella shook her head.

The Doctor nodded. "That is why it keeps returning."

"You think it's going to stop if I talk about it?" Bella laughed. "I've talked about it before. It's still here."

"What happens if you let someone who doesn't know what they are doing stitch a wound?" Doctor kalfou asked.

"Infection? Torn stitches. Big scars?" Jack answered.

"It gets worse," Bella said, sounding resigned. "Alright. I'll try it. When?"

"Tonight," Doctor Kalfou said. "Once the day's work is done. After we eat. Until then, just be very gentle with yourself, and if you feel strange at all, come find me."

Jack gave Bella a reassuring smile. "It sounds like I have a little time until the captain talks to the crew. How about we go find your awful monkey?"

Bella nodded. She wasn't actually feeling better, but she was awfully good at faking it.

__________________________

Caine leaned in the doorway after the client left. Tonya was face down on the bed, naked, her legs spread wide, thick semen leaking out of her.

He was painfully hard. The sight of her sent all kinds of impulses racing through him. He'd been living in the brothel for years, seen many of the girls in similar states, and never had those thoughts. Hell, he'd even seen Tonya like this before and not had those thoughts. He always figured if anyone's sexuality wasn't aimed at him specifically, he didn't need to be thinking about them in a sexual way, no matter what the situation was. Even the times when the men and women who worked at Mary's had shown interest in him, he knew better than to get involved. It had been a very long time since he'd been a soldier, but he still had strong feelings about fraternization. He never should have agreed to have sex with Tonya. He knew it was going to have repercussions. He just didn't expect them to be this soon, or this... strange.

"'Is'sat you Caine?" Tonya said quietly without turning over to look.

"Yeah," he answered.

"Enjoying the view?" she asked. None of her usual mirth was present.

He sighed. "Something's wrong."

"I've noticed," she said flatly, still not moving.

"Any idea what it is?" Caine asked.

"No, but I hate it," Tonya growled.

"It's not a whole lot of fun on this end either," Caine agreed.

"What?" Tonya asked, finally rolling over. "What do you mean your end?"

"I keep feeling these... feelings. Impulses. I don't know where they're coming from. Also, I'm tired," Caine tried to explain. He wasn't the best with words under any circumstances, and this was even worse than usual.

"Me too," Tonya said with a small frown. "What kind of feelings?"

Caine sighed. He knew she was going to ask, but hoped she wouldn't. "Sex... stuff. Can we not talk about it?"

"Sex stuff is my favorite subject," she said with a half-smile. Her heart wasn't in it though.

"It isn't mine," Caine shook his head. "I don't have a problem with it, obviously, but I'm not the best at talking about it. I don't even know where to begin, so I'd rather not."

"About me?" Tonya asked, surprised and a little flattered.

"Caine nodded. "Mostly."

"Want another go?" Tonya raised an eyebrow in teasing invitation and spread her knees wider.

"No." Caine sighed at Tonya's subtle look of rejection. "Well, yes, and that's the problem. This isn't normal."

"I think I should be offended," Tonya said. There was no venom or humor in her words. Just resignation. "Wanting me is completely normal."

"Not for me," Caine shrugged.

"I'm definitely offended," Tonya sighed.

"It isn't personal," Caine tried to reassure her.

"I know," she nodded sadly. It occurred to her that she really did know. She believed him completely, and even felt like she understood what he was trying to say underneath the bluntness of his phrasing. The way he felt about her was troubling him because it made him feel like he wasn't in control of himself. She gave him a small smile. "This is important to you, isn't it? It isn't just the weird feelings. It's not knowing why."

Caine chuffed out a mirthless laugh. "You're spending too much time around Janie."

"What, I'm wrong? Sorry." Tonya said, chagrinned.

"No, you're right. That's exactly it," Caine shrugged. "I don't think these feelings are natural. I think it's something that happened to me with that ritual."

Tonya looked incredulous. "When I blew up Bella's alcove, yo think I made you all... lusty about me?"

"Something like that," Caine nodded, knowing how stupid it sounded.

"Do you think it might have done something to me too?" Tonya asked.

Caine shrugged. "No idea. Magic is weird. What do you think it did to you?"

"I can't fucking come!" Tonya erupted, all her frustration spilling out of her all at once. Caine felt something strange in his chest, like something was pulling the breath from his lungs. Fatigue hit him abruptly. Tonya kicked her heels into the mattress and pounded it with her tiny fists as she threw her head back into the pillow. With a sudden crack and poof and a tiny yelp from Tonya, the bedframe snapped and the mattress burst, throwing feathers everywhere.

Caine didn't have time to think. He felt a mild shockwave hit him, like a particularly strong gust of wind. He took two steps into the room on instinct but stopped as soon as he realized there was no lasting danger. He waved in front of his face, trying to clear the feathers. He watched as the bedframe slowly finished cracking. It sunk in the middle, lowering the broken center of the frame to the floor and turning the whole bed into a shallow V shape. The burst mattress partially swallowed Tonya and the sinking bed folded her so her arms and legs were sticking up awkwardly.

"What?" Tonya gasped. "What the hell was that?" She sneezed as the feathers tried to settle on her face.

"You broke the bed," Caine deadpanned, his voice full of confusion and disbelief.

"Aaaaugh!" Tonya yelled, thrashing her arms and legs ineffectively before letting them go limp. She was stuck in the wreckage of the bed and absolutely exhausted. "What is wrong with me?"

Caine stepped in and offered her a hand. She took it and he gently pulled her up out of the mattress, sending more feathers swirling through the air. As their hands touched, they both felt something, like a swell between them. Caine's breath caught in his chest and a tingle ran over him, like she'd just ran her fingertips up his spine. His sudden erection was uncomfortable and surprising. He let go like he'd been burned.

"Waaah!" Tonya yelped as she fell back into the ruined mattress sending even more feathers into the air. She was breathing heavily, like she was winded. "What? What is going on?"

Caine looked at his hand, then at her, then very slowly reached out for her again. She hesitantly took his hand. He didn't pull her. They just held each other's fingertips gently and stared confused into each other's eyes as they felt a strange pulling sensation flowing out of Tonya and into Caine. The strange fatigue he'd felt earlier lifted somewhat, and Tonya lay her head back, rubbing her face and swooning. "Damn, I'm exhausted. What did you do?"

"I don't think I did anything," Caine said.

"Well it isn't me," Tonya shook her head gently. She yawned, and then started coughing and spitting as feathers swirled into her mouth.

The strange feeling passing between them seemed to equalize. The connection was still there, but nothing was flowing at the moment. Tonya pulled a bit, prompting Caine to help her up. She wiped her mouth and picked out the last feather as she got to her feet. "I'm so tired." She leaned against him, barely able to stand. Her eyes drooped. Standing up was all she could manage.

Caine had no idea what to think. The whole situation was absurd. They were both covered in feathers. He felt great all of a sudden, and she was barely conscious.

"Bath," she said quietly, pointing to the door, then letting her arm drop to her side again.

Caine sighed, scooped up her tiny body, and carried her out of the room.

________________________

"Get out!" Belita yelled as the door opened.

"Nope," Danica said, walking in and shutting the door behind her.

"I said leave!" Belita snarled, pushing herself half way up into an unsteady, angry crouch.

"And I said no," Danica shrugged. She walked over and sat down against the wall next to the Captain. "Part of my job is to tell you no when you need it. Right now you need it. What's going on?"

"Insubordinate... I'm going tae-" Belita couldn't find the words.

"What? Lock me up? Whip me? Hang me?" Danica prompted. "Then who will run your ship while you're drunk in the middle of the day?"

"Fuck ye," Belita glared.

"Fuck me" Danica asked, a hint of anger seeping into her voice. "We're marooned. We have a busted hull, limited supplies, half the crew is injured, the noble we're carting around is pissed off, and you're in here drinking yourself stupid and crying!"

"I just need some time," Belita snarled.

"We don't have time! None of us do!" Danica barked. "The longer we're stuck on this island, the more likely we are to die here. Even if we don't die, the more likely it is that if we manage to get out to sea again that Morant will decide to cut his losses! You know what happens then?"

"Yes," Belita shook her head. "I cannae do it."

"The fuck you can't," Danica glared.