Love. Lust. Lost. Ch. 01

"Don't stop on my account," she said, ignoring my obvious guilt.

"It's got a great sound." I replied, just to say something.

"Well, play away." She said as she towelled her long brown hair dry. "So where do you want to eat?" She continued as I watched her, strumming softly.

"Depends what you like. There's most things around here and it won't be busy on a Tuesday." I finished, feeling strangely like this had been going on all my life.

"Something French," she said, "it'll kinda remind me of home."

"Well, I'm dressed for it, but they tend to be a little more formal." I hinted as she pulled on a t-shirt and faded blue jeans, whilst I made little effort to keep my eyes off her beautiful body.

"I'll change after I've seen the guys." She acknowledged. "Then I'll meet you in the bar. I'll come down and set you up a tab."

…

Perched on a stool holding a large, dry martini with a curl of orange peel sat at the bottom, I tried to make sense of the evening.

It had obviously started when I left the meeting so angry that I'd just grabbed my jacket and gone. I hadn't quit, at least I hoped I hadn't. The clock had just hit 4pm, so I'd only ducked an hour, which was nothing compared to what I put in after hours. I knew as soon as the meeting ended that if I'd stayed, I would have said something that would have made my job untenable. Avril wasn't the only one with a humble pie waiting for them.

Ironically, it was the first time I'd ever hit the pub on my own. Furthermore, I had simply ended up in the pub nearest the office – one I hadn't been in since before I went to university, almost 5 years ago.

So now, after a chain of firsts, I was drinking in the Royal Hotel on Avril Lavigne's tab and waiting for her to come down for dinner. I toasted myself and my bad day in the mirror behind the bar, then ran my hand over my chin, now dark with stubble.

I checked my watch. It was getting late. I was on my second martini and had read the evening paper. It crossed my mind that I'd been stood up. Perhaps she was tied up with the band, or more likely as she sobered up, she realised that she'd been stupid enough for one day, cut her losses and left me with her tab as a reward. Oh well, I thought. I'd reassess once my martini was spent, after all, it wasn't the worst place to watch the world go by.

I was dragged back to reality by the barman's voice, which I realised had been preceded by an almost imperceptible whistle.

"Looks like your lady has returned." He said nodding ever so slightly over my shoulder as he polished the bar, perhaps sensing that I felt I'd been stood up.

I swivelled around, my mind so lost in itself, it was struggling to re-connect with the here and now. My eyes focussed at the same time as my head, and I saw what had attracted the barman's attention.

Walking towards me, a wide and beautiful smile on her rose-red painted lips, she wore a simple, dark blue satin dress that just about touched her knees; with a velvet jacket over her shoulders to keep the evening chill at bay. Her hazelnut hair, which had been pulled back into a harsh ponytail earlier, lay smooth and straight, draped over her shoulders. Despite her slight frame, she stood tall, proud and confident in a pair of three inch heels, her head and shoulders held high, as she rode the wave of her own self-belief.

"Shall we?" she asked. "I'm starving."

"You look stunning." I said, almost choking on my martini, suddenly feeling crumpled and dishevelled in comparison. She stretched up and kissed me on the cheek and for the second time, I waited a beat for my heart to re-start.

"You can stare at me now I'm dressed." That wicked, teasing flicker back in her eyes.

"Yeah, typical isn't it. I can't tear my eyes away from you now. How did it go with the guys?" I asked feeling more comfortable to be changing the subject. Her naked, flawless skin was supposed to be a fantasy.

"Well, if you're worried about the show, your ticket is safe." She said in a tone that closed the matter. "Okay, where are we heading?" It was her turn to change the subject.

"Follow me. I have just the place." As we walked through the marble-lined lobby, she slipped her hand through my arm and when I looked down at her, a gorgeous grin spread across her face and her white teeth shone against her red lips. I could get used to this. I thought, before my demons told me to grow up and just enjoy the evening.

…

The meal, but more importantly the company, was amazing. Living on borrowed time as I was, the evening passed in a blur. I felt from the outset as if we had known each other forever and the conversation bounced back and forth like a ball in the world's longest rally. I knew with confidence that I could introduce her to my oldest mates and they'd just accept her as if she'd always been there. We liked the same things, the same music and we immediately had an instinct for what made the other laugh and so by the time the waiter presented the bill, we had the place to ourselves.

"Hey," she mocked "I like a man with expensive tastes." She said as she unfolded the bill.

"And I like a woman who can afford them." I returned.

"And is there someone who can?"

"Nah," I said, shaking my head, "it's just me and the job."

"Just you and a hand job." She blurted out before her brain had control of her mouth and she clapped her hand over her face and burst out laughing, drawing the head waiter's attention. My cheeks burned and I shook my head, unable to think of anything to fire back.

…

As we walked across the town square the clock struck midnight and she paused to look up at it.

"Thank you again." She said.

"No thank you, you paid."

"That's not what I meant." She looked up and took my hands. "I mean thanks for earlier. You were kind and gentle. The perfect gentleman, whilst I was drunk and rude."

"I wouldn't have swapped today for anything." I said. "Just a shame no one will believe I stormed out of work because I had a date with Avril Lavigne."

"Do you fancy one for the road?" She asked.

"Sure." I said, happy to stretch the evening further but realising that I had just entered the final straight.

We walked back through the lobby and the concierge bade us a good night, touching his fingers theatrically to the brim of his top hat. I thought I recognised her band in the bar, but as I headed that way, she stopped and took my arm.

This is it. I thought. This is the thanks, good night and have a good life speech.

"Not in there," she said, "there's a mini-bar upstairs, I think?" the question was an invitation, as she walked out of eye-line of the bar towards the lift.

…

We helped ourselves to a pair of brandies and whilst we sat in the warm lamp light, me on the armchair, plucking at her guitar again and her perched on the end of the bed, the conversation just naturally flowed. Bands, music, films, school days, holidays – one conversation poured into another and outside the bubble we had created, the world continued to turn.

The cruel digital clock on the television told me it was 2.30am.

"Jesus" I said in a rare pause, running my fingers though my hair. "I'd better make a move. I've got to be at work in a couple of hours." I said reluctantly. "And you need your beauty sleep."

"And I thought I was beautiful already." She said tossing her hair like a shampoo advert.

"I'm not going to rise to that."

"Not like you did in the bathroom!" She was an infernal tease and again I was lost for words, instead blushing yet again until sweat broke out on my forehead.

"Do you blush every time a woman speaks to you? It may explain why you're single."

"No." I responded. "But I do seem to blush every time you speak to me. Look. I don't want tonight to end, but I really should be heading home." I said, trying to convince myself. I placed my empty glass on the lacquered, walnut topped desk and stood up.

I held out my arms and was rewarded when she stepped into my embrace. I hugged her hard. "Thank you" I said for no specific reason. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow."

She looked up and stood on the very tips of her toes. Her lips, soft and moist pressed against mine. She pulled away the tiniest bit, but I could still feel the warmth of her delicious brandy-flavoured breath. Then she kissed me a second time, this time, I felt her lips part and her tongue flicked delicately out across mine.

"Don't go." She breathed, and I opened my eyes to see her staring back at me, our faces just inches apart. "Don't go." She repeated and this time I saw her speak and knew I had not imagined it.

I said nothing, just held my breath and the third time she kissed me, I kissed her back, our tongues dancing, exploring each others lips and mouths more passionately as the sexual tension grew and our hands began to wander, stroking and squeezing with increasing urgency.

We kissed for an eternity until I felt her curl her foot around my leg and run her toes down the back of my calf, making my blood freeze.

I scooped her up in my arms and she wrapped her legs around my waist, her dress hitching up, so I could see her pale thighs above the tops of her hold-ups.

I pushed her dress up further and placed my hands under her buttocks and she pressed her hips against me, her pussy rubbing on my stomach, separated only by her thin panties and my cotton shirt.

She buried her head in my shoulder and began to nibble on my neck. Her hot breath on my ear, sent ice-cold splinters down my spine and drove me wild as I kneaded her tight buttocks.

I wriggled my fingers inside her pants and touched the wiry curls of her pubic hair. She moaned and when I found her moist lips with my fingertips, she sank her teeth into my ear lobe.

"Oh God" she moaned as I teased and tickled her, unable to get more than my fingertip inside her from this angle.

I carried her over to the bed and lay her down. She immediately sat up and began to wrestle with my belt. I pulled my shirt off over my head without unbuttoning it and threw it across the room, cufflinks still fastened.

Bare-chested, I looked down as she delved inside my boxer shorts and wrapped her hand around my painfully hard erection. I gasped and watched mesmerised as she tugged my shorts around my hips.

She looked up at me watching her, before she bent down and slowly licked around the head of my cock before closing her lips around it. I could feel her hot tongue working around my penis as she sucked, slurped and licked.

The feeling was delicious and when I caught our reflection in the mirror, I watched her go down on me, rather than focus on the crown of her head.

My excitement was matched only by my stampeding lust and in no time at all, I could feel myself losing control, as my knees began to shake.

I had come this far, I had no intention of letting this end so quickly. I had been without a girlfriend for almost a year and without even the most casual sex for nearly six months. I was in no mood for a five minute knee-trembler and a swift kiss goodnight.

I knelt down in front of her and pulled my trousers and pants off in one.

"Hey, this isn't fair." I complained. "How come I'm naked?" I pushed her flat onto the bed. Her dress was already scrunched up around her waist and when she felt my fingers snake beneath her knickers, she raised her hips so I could sweep them off.

She parted her legs in anticipation and I was treated to the site of her dark pink labia hiding, as if shy, beneath the wiry curls of her brown pubic hair.

I kissed up the inside of her right thigh, savouring the taste and smell of her skin. I had intended to tease her when I reached the top and start again on the other one, but as soon as she felt my breath beside her sex, she grabbed a handful of my hair and pulled me down onto her.

"Oh yeah." She murmured as I gently kissed her before running my tongue along the hot folds of her sex, tasting her, savouring her flavour. She moaned her appreciation and I responded by increasing the pressure. This time, my tongue parted her lips and all I got in response was a low, guttural moan from between gritted teeth. I reached her clitoris and circled around it, enjoying the reaction as her hips twitched. She moaned again and I could taste her rising excitement as her juices began to flow.

Her hand was still entwined in my hair and she began to push me more forcefully down, so after my initial gentleness, I closed my lips around her swelling labia and sucked it greedily into my mouth.

She cried out at my change of pace and her hips bucked and thrust to my rhythm.

"Yeah. That's it. Don't stop." She begged as I sucked her, all the time, my tongue probing her hot folds. "Oh yeah. Don't stop." She repeated. As her excitement grew, her musky juice began to flow and I lapped it up. "Shit. I'm gonna cum." She groaned and I increased my tempo, switching to licking around her pussy, my tongue probing and searching inside her.

She tightened her grip on my hair and thrust her hips forward frantically, almost grinding her pussy on my chin, then she relaxed, released my hair and fell limp on the bed.

"Oh. Ohhh my God." She whimpered. "Yes. Yes. Yes." Then she came. Moaning and writhing on the bed, I pinned her hips down as I sucked and slurped on her dripping pussy until she wriggled away from my grasp, her body shaking. "Jesus. That was amazing." She panted, giggling as she stared at me still kneeling between her legs. "God. Where did you learn to do that?" She said, bringing a wide smile to my glistening lips, which I licked hungrily as I watched her stare back at me.

"Come here." She pouted, beckoning me towards her. Still kneeling on the floor, I took her hands, pulled her up and unzipped her dress. She stood and let it fall to her feet, unclipping her bra and throwing it onto the growing pile of discarded clothes.

I scooped her up and lay her across the bed. She placed her feet flat on the mattress and spread her thighs, inviting me in. I climbed on top of her and kissed her on the lips as she guided my rock hard dick into her.

"Fuck that's good." She said as I increased pressure on her tight hole. Her heavily lubricated pussy yielded and accepted my entire cock into her in one long, fluid stroke. She cried out loud and wrapped her hands around my neck, pulling me into her. Her exquisite tightness gripped me and as I pushed myself into her, she grunted and groaned with a hungry lust, her cheeks flushed pink from the force of her orgasm.

With her legs wrapped around my back, she took my whole length into her tiny body until our pubic hair tangled together and my balls rested against her buttocks.

I developed a slow, restrained rhythm as I tried to maintain control of my aching and swollen balls.

As I thrust into her, my naked body crushed against hers, she buried her head back into my neck, kissing it erotically.

Without leaving her tight warmth, I rolled her around so I lay beneath her and she immediately sat up and rode me, my cock buried deep within her delicious body.

She took my hands and placed them on her small breasts. I cupped them both and massaged them, pinching her nipples until they stood hard and swollen. We moaned in unison as she gyrated on my lap, savouring the feeling of fullness.

"Oh yes." She whimpered, looking deep into my eyes. "I'm going to cum again."

I groaned and took her hands in mine, our fingers entwined.

"Umm," I moaned, "you and me both."

She increased her rhythm, bouncing up and down on my shaft frenetically as we both reached our peaks. Avril came first, falling on top of me and kissing me as she moaned and whimpered, her pussy squeezing my cock like a vice in the passion of her climax.

"Jesus." I grunted unable to hold out any longer. I grabbed her hips and pushed her forcefully down onto my throbbing cock. "Jesus. I'm gonna cum." I groaned.

"Do it" she demanded and then closed her mouth over mine her tongue probing as my sex-starved cock erupted, twitching uncontrollably as I came deep inside her.

She gripped my spasming cock and milked it dry, all the time thrusting her hips down onto my length whilst kissing me with an urgent passion.

She broke the kiss and rested her cheek on my shoulder and I enfolded her tightly in my arms.

"Umm. That was good." She groaned and I nodded agreement.

My cock was still hard and still inside her, and as we lay together I savoured her heat.

"You're amazing." I said and kissed her neck. She giggled, making my heart skip again.

My softening cock slipped out of her and our contact was broken, and with it the spell that had held us. She rolled off onto her back and I lay next to her, propped up on my elbow, running my fingers lightly along her arm.

As I watched her, her breathing softened and I thought she had fallen asleep. I leant over and kissed her lips.

"You're incredible." I whispered.

"So you said already." She said opening her eyes. It was 4.00am.

"I really should go and let you get some sleep." I said.

"Are you running out on me?"

"Yes." I said nodding my head. "I've got a breakfast meeting at seven. I need to get home, get changed and get my head together. Besides, if I sleep here it'll just get awkward."

She cocked her head quizzically.

"Oh bugger." I breathed. "Look, I know this will come out all wrong, but what the hell. Until yesterday, I didn't exist for you, and yet you did for me, albeit on the tele'. Today has been amazing and I think you've had a good time too." I paused slightly to gather my thoughts. "But as far as I see it, this time next year, for you, I won't exist again. But for me." I paused again and tried to look into her soul as she had done mine. "This will be with me for a very, very long time."

She reached up and tenderly brushed my cheek with her fingertips. "If I stay, I will be that much closer to falling in love with you, and that would be crazy." I said, finally tearing my eyes from hers.

"Do you think I do this in every fucking town?" She said indignantly, putting her finger under my chin and pulling my head back up to re-establish eye contact. "Do you think this is what I do?" Anger spread like wildfire across her face, her passion forgotten. My heart fell like a hot stone into the pit of my stomach and I shook my head, the hurt in her bright eyes tore my insides to shreds.

"Hey, this is also not how I want the evening to end." I blustered, trying to regain some control. "That is really not what I meant. I just think I'm much, much more in danger of falling you, than you are of falling for Mr Desk Jockey who bunks off work to get pissed.

She sat up beside me and I was relieved to see that the anger had gone.

"Don't put yourself down," she said, "I've had a really great time." She kissed me again and smiled. "Maybe we can meet up for a drink after the show."

I nodded. "That would be good." My face broke into a wide, boyish grin.

"Look, I'll put you a pass on reception at the gig. I'll introduce you to the guys and then we'll grab a drink or a meal. I'm always wired after a show."

"Great. Do you put out on a second date as well?" She punched my arm. "Ow" I complained. If that was playful, I wouldn't want her to come at me for real. I thought and rubbed the red mark she'd left.

"Go on then, get out and get your beauty sleep." She said.

And that was that. Minutes later, I was stood at the door. It was the only awkward moment of the day.

"Come here." I said and wrapped her up in my arms. "You're great." I said and kissed her on the lips. She smiled back but said nothing. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow. Hope it all goes well with the guys."

She nodded and kissed me on the cheek, breaking away from my embrace.