Love Without Magic Can Be Magical

I shrieked before being paralyzed with fear.

Darrin pushed it off of me and then wrapped me up from the front in sort of a protective cocoon with his torso and arms. Meanwhile the dog-walker got the beast under control, dragging it away along the sidewalk as it barked at me over its shoulder and pulled on its leash. The immediate danger seemingly passed, it didn't do anything for my head, and I just trembled in Darrin's arms and wept while he rubbed my back and tried to sooth me, that it would all be OK.

It gradually worked and with shaky legs I asked Darrin to take me home. We drove in silence and then he walked me to my apartment door.

I gave him an out, "You don't have to come in. I'll understand."

He wrapped me up in a big bear hug, "Actually, I think I'd like to come in if only just to make you feel better and give you any support I can."

I didn't argue, I just handed him my door key from my purse. He unlocked the door and we went inside.

I was still deflated. I laid face down on my couch. Maybe he would go away and I could pretend nothing happened.

He gently touched my shoulder. "Hey. Can I make you some tea?"

"No." I sort of whined in my response.

"Can I get you anything?"

"No. Wait. Yes. You can get me some self-respect. I don't have any left."

"Aww. Come on. You are the bravest person I know. A phobia over dogs pales in what I've seen you face." He sat down on the edge of the couch next to me and started to rub my back.

"You've had to rescue me from the beasts twice now."

He responded in a serious tone, "You risked your life for me. Twice. And paid for it, dearly."

"I didn't do it just for you. I did it for me too. I'm selfish. I want you. I wanted you to love me even. Tonight was going to be perfect. And I ruined everything." I realized I was acting like a whiny child, making things worse.

He moved his hands from my back and shoulders to my head and ran his fingers repeatedly through my hair. Mom used to do that for me when I was younger and when I had a bad day, but with it being Darrin, I practically jumped out of my skin and got tingly all over.

"That feels good," I practically moaned to him.

"It's supposed to." He moved to the end of the couch and put a throw pillow on his lap before managing to get me to wiggle around until my head was on the pillow where used the fingers of both hands to run through the lengths of my hair and alternately rub my head.

I sort of lost track of time, his ministrations totally relaxing me. Like magic. My sour mood seemed to wash away.

Leading to thoughts about his hands on parts of me beyond my scalp and hair.

I got his attention, "Darrin?

He responded, "Hmm?"

"I sometimes think you have more magical power than I do."

He chuckled, "Is that right?"

"Yeah. You get me to be someone I'm not. You get me to feel in ways I've never felt. You make me want things I've never wanted."

"Uh, oh. I don't know if any of that is good or not."

"It's all good. You see me as someone special."

"Because you are special."

I intentionally stirred in such a way that he paused his hands and removed them from my hair. I sat up next to him and leaned in.

"Do you really mean that?" I breathed, hoping, leaning in closer.

He breathed back, "I do."

I moved and made as much side-to-side contact as physically possible. Our faces almost touching.

"Claret. Is your offer still good to mess up your lipstick?"

"Oh, yes . . ." I barely got out before he covered my lips with his. The hand I had moved to his chest allowed me to feel it rising and falling like he was relieved and excited at the same time.

That was my last coherent thought. I got caught up in the kiss. The passion rose, like I couldn't get enough until his tongue penetrated my lips and met with mine. I intentionally groaned to send a message.

I pulled back. Licked his lips and mouth while he caught his breath and I crawled up on him, straddling his hips and went in for more. This time he groaned as my tongue entered his mouth and taunted his, bringing it back into mine. Hard. Wet. Raving.

My heart was pounding. My emotions were on overstimulation. I couldn't believe I never wanted this. I don't think now I could ever live without it.

Our kiss lost a little of its furor and turned gentler and more passionate, easier to savor. I didn't fully realize I was simultaneously grinding his crotch with mine until I felt something grow beneath the fabric of his shorts. His hands began guiding my grind until we were dry humping, making me start to feel squishy and not so dry.

I think he wanted to do more with his hands but we were too connected and intertwined together for him to reach anything except from behind. I wanted all of that too but just couldn't wait, I broke the kiss.

I was practically breathless, feeling flushed with my heart racing. I put his earlobe in my mouth and sucked on it before whispering into his ear, "Here? Or bed?"

He was breathing heavily, right into my neck where he put his lips next and gave me a whole new set of tingles that swept from my neck to the base of my tummy.

"Right now," he answered between breaths, "Please."

I pulled back to undo the buttons on his shirt while he tried to undo mine.

It was a case study on fumbling and awkwardness. Frustration grew exponentially.

Enough was enough. I intoned a simple spell I had used many times. It could be used many ways, as a child I mostly used it on my shoelaces, designed to untangle and loosen.

It worked brilliantly. Both our shirts opened up, including the front clasp of my bra, where he made a beeline to cover my breasts with his hands. I did the same to his chest.

It didn't stop there, both our short pants were open, our undergarments split wide with complete access. The base of his erection throbbed at my lower lips, the head of his sex trying to point at my belly.

The brief moment to work the spell did not abate the urgency. I gently gripped his erection to get used to its size and shape, giving it a couple of strokes before using my thighs to lift into position and then guided him to my entrance. I lowered gradually, bit by bit until he was deep inside. We both gasped with the euphoric but determined movements.

I looked at him, his mouth gaped open in bliss and with closed eyes. I smiled to myself.

He suddenly became aware of the moment, a little panicked. "Condom . . ."

"It's OK," I replied. Thanks to a spell Mom never taught me but I had learned through my network.

Our heat went on fueling our timed motions until he was pistoning from underneath in full strokes while I ground back in rhythm. I felt good electrifying tingles from all over my body.

It intensified again as our lips met while our hips rocked and danced in between the pleasurable moment and a blissful wrestle.

He broke our kiss and threw his head slightly back with a groan while his whole body shivered, and I felt him throb his sticky deep inside of me. That alone gave me a wave of pleasure that ran through me in my own quaver.

We slowed our pelvic motions while he broke through to the present from the happy place in his mind.

"You didn't finish," he said lightly but with concern.

"That's OK," I replied, "that was incredible."

He ignored my statement and gave me gentle instruction, "Lean back."

I did as I was told, moving my hands from his shoulders to behind his neck, entwining my finger to lock in place. In leaning back, I seemed to bear further down on his semi hardness which he lightly rocked in and around while preventing himself from squishing out.

With his right hand first wiping at some of his leaked ejaculate, he used it to finger paint my clit and all things between our sexes, and I just don't know where because my sensitivity jumped to Venus, Mars, and . . . fuck. Uhnn!

My first ever. It came with an uncontrollable shudder starting from an existential place and waves of pleasure radiated through every part of my body until I couldn't take it anymore and I leaned forward, slumping like jelly over his manly form.

I couldn't seem to move; only involuntary spasm aftershocks went on for, well, who knows how many times, I was too lost in the experience to count.

We held onto each other like life rafts until our breathing normalized where he broke the silence with a large exhale, "Whoa!!" before fully wrapping me up in his arms, chests together and my face crooked into his warm neck.

*

We were in my bed, spooning yet both laying in wet spots of our own making after we had retired to my room and made love again. I had to ask, "You will stay the night won't you? I mean, you don't have to if you don't want to." I turned in his arms for emphasis, "But I'd really like it if you stayed."

"Good. I'd like to stay. There's nowhere I'd rather be than with you." He answered, sounding sincere.

I got almost melancholy, "I'm sorry about our first run on the couch. That's not how I pictured our first time to be."

"There's nothing to apologize for."

I sort of ignored that in my stupid overrun of emotion, "I could wipe your mind of that and just leave you with the more romantic, less animal first."

He chuckled, "Why would I want that?! Instead, I would ask you to use a spell to make sure I never forgot the greatest night of my life, only I don't think that would be necessary. There's no way I'll ever forget tonight."

*

After that, everything changed. I mean, really changed. Everything.

Except one thing. We still met in the mornings at the coffee shop. Only we generally ignored our laptops and talked about how our days might go and when we'd see each other again and what we might do. Together.

Yeah. That's the thing. It was all about us being together.

He would show up at the spice shop after he got off work some nights and we'd talk about our day and just random things, pausing only when I had to help a customer. He'd come back to my place or he would drive me to his if I was going to spend the night. We would frequently make dinner together.

I don't really know how things advanced so quickly. We went from friendly coffee shop tablemates to lusting, hot and heavy intimate moments but just as much, domesticated boyfriend-girlfriend time together.

Very unlike a witch to behave.

Or experience in their lifetime.

And I liked it. No, I have to be honest, I loved it.

Mom seemed to be OK with all of it. She and Gran got to know Darrin over the times I would bring him with me for dinner at the house, and I think they liked him. Mom would get sullen and wistful sometimes and now I knew what that was all about, and other times I would get a lecture about the dangerous road I was walking. Well, running would be more like it.

Darrin, meanwhile, well, he had a very endearing quality that I discovered to my great fortune. He put up with a lot. More specifically, he put up with me.

Between my ugly temper, my mood swings, my fear of dogs, and me just being me, he still seemed to like me. Why? I have no idea. I'm just grateful for it.

I should also mention that there was a part of my nature that I never knew about before. Jealousy.

One night after I closed the spice shop, we went to a nearby place that he liked and we got a drink and ordered a light dinner in the bar. I couldn't help but notice a group of young women drinking fruity cocktails that took interest in our entrance. Make that Darrin's entrance.

I instantly didn't like the looks they were giving him. Darrin didn't have a clue, nor did he notice the words I intoned under my breath. I could then hear the women clearly, Darrin could not, and they were being lewd. I tried to take control of my rising temper.

Yeah, like that was going to happen.

Then, Darrin did hear them. It was when they shrieked as they simultaneously spilled their drinks on chests and laps. Oops. Those were going to stain.

It got Darrin's attention, but so did my smirk. He returned his attention to me, caught sight of my guilty look and asked accusingly, "What did you do?"

"Nothing," I lied.

He knew. "Why did you do that?"

I leaned close, "I didn't like the way they were looking at you."

"I didn't even notice them; I happen to be with the most beautiful woman in the room."

It didn't stop there but suffice it to say we had our first ever argument. I finally conceded my low emotional IQ at what I had felt in the moment.

After we exchanged apologies, I tried to make up with humor, "See. We had our first fight and I didn't turn you into any kind of amphibian."

He chuckled, "Thank you for that. And I get it. I really do and to be honest, I'm not being fair. While you were doing your thing, I wanted to go over to the bar and punch that guy in the nose who'd been undressing you with his eyes once we got here.

*

I saw her again. I was sure of it. I was walking down the sidewalk to my shop and she was across the street walking in the opposite direction. I made a sideways glance at her while she did the same at me.

She was wearing that heavy cloak I saw on her the first time, as well as the same threatening expression.

Neither of us slowed our paces but it seemed like the moment froze in time anyway.

I pursed my lips at her in anger, she tossed her head back in a silent laugh, and then we lost sight of one another.

That event made me look even more forward to my tea with Ms. Isabel in the afternoon.

*

I was having words with a plant in my rooftop garden. If it had been a human it would have been splayed out and split open but more likely, it would have been dead long ago. I went over the spell one more time, the plant didn't seem to mind.

Which is how Darrin caught me by surprise. "I thought I'd find you up here."

I went and wrapped myself around him before laying a big, wet kiss on him. "Hello, you. How was your trip."

"Long," he embellished, "and I missed you. I wished you would have come with me. I could hardly concentrate on the conference, I could only think of you."

That made me smile, I had the same problem in the five days he was gone. "Me too you, handsome." I buried my head into his shoulder and continued to hold on.

He kept his tight grip on me as well, "Tell me everything I missed while I was away."

"That would be silly," I replied, "we video chatted on our laptops every night you were gone. There's nothing new or exciting in my life anyway, especially when you aren't home."

I remembered something and loosened my hug to look up at him, "Wait, I do have news. First, I've been simmering a pot of chili in my apartment all afternoon for you, it's spicy, the way you like it. And two, I bought new bed sheets. They're flannel and super soft. We can break them in." I kind of sing-sung the last part and gave him a wicked smile. He smiled back, but he didn't jump at the offer so I added, "I mean, if you want to."

By now I knew him well enough to know that normally, he was ready for sex all the time and quite eager at that. The warning bell in my mind went off and I braced for it. "I would like nothing more. Believe me. After this time apart, even more so. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, my mother used to say. I believe it. Only . . . I had a lot of time to think. And there's something I want to talk to you about. Let's go have some of your famous chili and we can talk over dinner."

More serious alarm bells went off in my head, I couldn't wait. "No! I mean, let's talk. Yes. But tell me now. Right here. I have to know." He had to see my desperation.

"No, no, no. Everything is fine. I didn't mean to alarm you. Shit. I handled that all wrong. I'm sorry."

"So you're not going to break up with me?" I asked, disgusted with myself for sounding like I did. Worst of all, I just now became aware of a new part of my personality that I didn't ever want. Insecurity.

"What?! Of course not. Claret, I love you. You know I love you. It's just that my trip made me think about our time together. Well, it's just that . . . my office hours don't gel great with your shop hours, and I hardly get to see you. We have our mornings, we have our evenings, and I cherish both. I just want more."

I was elated over his speech not being of the heartbreaking variety, but it struck me that I knew where he was going to go next. This was going to play out 180 degrees from where I started and that I was going to have to break his heart. For the time being.

"Claret," he sounded sincere, "what would you think about moving in with me?"

I stalled, "But I just bought new sheets."

He stiffened. I groaned, thinking I might as well have slapped him in the face.

I broke our conversational embrace and held him at arm's length. "Darrin, baby, I love you. Let's go downstairs and break in those sheets. I want to do that thing we did again, remember? What we did before you left for your conference. Come on."

He nodded his head sadly. I had hurt him. I wasn't sure how to fix it either.

I sighed, and then did my best. "It's not what you think. I really do love you. And I want nothing more than to move in with you. And I will. I just need a little time."

He sounded a little whiny now like I had never heard him before, "You need a little time. I want more time. More time with you. Together."

"Aww. I know. Listen, I just need you to trust me for a little bit. There's something I need to do first and then, I promise, we'll be together." He wasn't satisfied. He needed more from me. "I've actually been thinking along the same lines, what if I told you that I had hired someone to run the shop for me on weekends. We'll be together every weekend while you are off work."

That seemed to be just enough of a compromise, "You'd do that?" Can you afford that?"

"Yeah, it's not a problem."

What would be a problem is if he were in the line of sight and in the middle when his ex came to kill her mark.

I sweetened the pot, "Our one-year anniversary is coming up. Halloween. What if right afterwards I had Mom run the store and you took some time off of work? We could go away together. Do something fun."

"Yeah. I like the sound of that."

"Good. Now what have I got to do to get you downstairs and feel my new sheets?!"

We giggled all the way we ran down the stairwell as if we were in a race.

*

I hit the jackpot with Darrin in almost every category.

As a friend, he was the very best friend I ever had, not that I had ever had very many. He was always concerned about how I was feeling, I felt I could rely on him for anything, and he never said anything to me that was unkind. Not once. He was also funny, silly even sometimes, and it was like he was always looking for ways to make me laugh. And I did. A lot.

As a boyfriend, my first one ever, he was perfect. He was attentive, listened to me even when I would ramble on about nothing, paying attention even. I read that that was actually rare for boyfriends. He opened doors, waited for me to order first at any restaurant, and if he was served a bigger slice of pie than me, he would switch plates.

He told me he loved me every day.

As a lover, I couldn't have asked for anything better. He paid special attention to my own climax as well as his own. And we did that a lot. I could write a book about the things he taught me in very pleasurable ways. Sometimes it was fast and furious, animal even. Sometimes slow and deeply romantic. I even enjoyed the occasional quickie or even the times with the element of getting caught.

Sometimes even very . . . well, let me just say, um, very naughty. Whew.

It was after one of those times where I was in his bathroom brushing my teeth and getting ready to go to sleep, I had to grin, even with the brush in my mouth as I looked through the open doorway watching him change the sheets. Yeah, that had to happen.

I was lost in thinking about the moment of what we had just done, which led me to let my guard down.