M1911A1 - Aftermath Pt. 02

"It's been a... challenge," I replied carefully.

"You look like you haven't been sleeping very well," Wilson observed, concern on his face.

"It hasn't been easy," I admitted. I dared not tell him about my dreams - if they were dreams.

Wilson nodded before continuing. "You're probably wondering why I asked to see you," he said. "The senior partners aren't happy. Your husband sent emails to practically everyone in the firm. And it is probably hopelessly optimistic to believe that it hasn't leaked outside the firm by now, or will shortly. Needless to say, your... credibility...shall we say, personal and professional, has taken a huge hit. The only reason you haven't been let go is the fact that until now, your record with this firm over the last 20 years has been exemplary."

I considered what Wilson said, and, more importantly, what he hadn't said but his look practically shouted, and made a decision I hoped I wouldn't regret. "Maybe I should offer my resignation," I said quietly as my stomach knotted up.

Wilson said nothing for a few moments as he pretended to think about my offer. At least he had the decency not to leap right on it. He nodded before responding, and I knew that I had read his body language correctly. "As much as I would hate losing you, Helen, I think that might be best. However, considering your length of service, your stellar record before this weekend, and your willingness to take responsibility for your actions, I think the partners would be agreeable to letting you stay on the payroll for the rest of the month.

"That should give you time to get your husband's final affairs dealt with. No pun intended, of course. We'll put together a reasonable severance package that I think you'll be able to live with. You're smart, driven, and one of the best litigators I've seen. I'm sure you'll land on your feet."

"Thank you, Mr. Bledsoe. I appreciate that," I said quietly. I felt slightly surreal, as if I were reading lines for a radio melodrama.

"Of course. Perhaps you should consider a change of scenery. Have you ever been to Boise?" he asked in his perfectly neutral tone.

"Boise? As in Idaho? No, I haven't. Why?" I asked, shocked startled at what I took as a sudden and unexpected twist in the conversation.

"An old schoolmate of mine is the managing partner of a firm there. He's looking for someone with your experience and abilities. If you like, I can give him your name."

"Sure," I said with a bit of hesitation.

"GoodExcellent. I'll let him know. Here's his card," Wilson said, handing me a card. I looked at it briefly, then put it in my purse.

Of course I could call Ray, but part of me wanted to never have anything to do with him again. I screwed up my morbid curiosity. "Can I ask about Ray? What will happen to him?"

He looked at me in a very considering way for an awkwardly long time, and then appeared to reach a decision. "As you know, Helen, I can't get into the specifics. Privacy concerns and so forth. Let's just say Mr. Bland has worn out whatever goodwill he may have had left with the senior partners. You may not know this, but you're not the first associate whose marriage he's ruined. That's why he was transferred to this office after his divorce. His ex-wife caught him with a paralegal. It was an... acrimonious divorce, to say the least." He looked down and doodled on his desk blotter. "The lawsuit required us to maintain his employment; to support a quite generous alimony." He murmured the last very quietly, as if he were thinking and it had just leaked out.

"I didn't know any of that," I said quietly, stunned. I admitted to myself that I was very aware of his reputation, which was why I had selected him for my first extramarital adventure, but not this. Damn.

"Well, I have a meeting I must attend. I'm truly sorry for your loss, Helen, and I'm sure we'll see you before you leave," Wilson said as he stood, which was my cue that the meeting was over.

"I'll be back," I said. "I have to sign some paperwork anyway. Thank you for everything," I added as we shook hands

I fought tears as I hurried out of the office, avoiding contact with everyone else in the office who, I was sure, watched me leave. I broke down crying after I got in my car. I loved this job and loved working with everyone here. Worse yet, I had been here for more than two decades. The idea of going to... Boise... made me feel like I was being exiled to Siberia for my sins.

I eventually calmed down enough to drive, but it was still difficult, as my tears kept falling. I almost got into a couple of accidents thanks to my blurry vision.

I finally got home and sat on the loveseat, where I buried my face in my hands and sobbed uncontrollably over the loss of my beloved job. I cried until I heard a sharp bang in the living room.

Surprised, I looked around, not knowing what had happened. Then I saw it. A five-by-seven framed photo from our wedding was lying face down on the end table where it had sat for years. Chills went through my body. Shaking, I picked up the photo and saw the glass was broken as if it had been hit with a punch. There was a feeling like a thundercloud churning over my head. I almost vomited as I realized, like a horrible twist in my gut, that I had been weeping more bitterly for the loss of my job than the loss of my husband.

Frightened, I tossed the broken picture on the couch and looked around to see if anything else had been moved. I couldn't explain how that photo had suddenly fallen on its face like that, with that much force. Then it dawned on me. This HAD to be Terry's doing. In an instant, I went from frightened to angry to terrified to enraged.

"LEAVE. ME. ALONE!" I screamed at the empty room. "You're DEAD! Move on! Quit screwing with me, dammit!"

Suddenly, the temperature dropped and the room seemed to get darker. I almost expected to see things flying off the walls, and I thought I heard maniacal laughter coming from the stairs.

There was no way in Hell I could stay in this house by myself. I grabbed my phone and frantically called Janice.

"Hey, sis. How's it going?" she answered in a cheery voice.

"Not good. Can I spend the night with you guys? Please?" I begged, my voice shaking.

Her tone instantly became one of concern. "Of course you can. We'll get the guest room ready for you. Is everything all right?" she asked.

"No, it's not. I'll tell you when I get there. Thanks!" I said. We I ended the call, and I ran upstairs to pack my overnight bag - again. I threw stuff into my bag as fast as I could, not caring if it was packed neatly. I HAD to get out of that place before Terry did something else.

I walked down the stairs, my hand gripping the side rail tightly to keep from falling. I was convinced Terry would push me down the stairs if I wasn't careful. Then I ran to the garage, threw my stuff in the car, and left. If I had been living in a cheap horror movie, there would have been burning streaks of rubber on the pavement behind me.

Janice met me at the door and I fell into her arms, sobbing. She wrapped her arms around me and tried to comfort me as best she could. She finally got me to sit on her couch and calm enough to speak.

"Good grief, sis. What happened? Did someone break into your house or something?"

"It's worse than that," I gasped hopelessly. "It's Terry."

"Terry? He's dead. What can he do?" Janice asked, looking at me strangely.

I told my sister what I had experienced the last two nights, and what happened when I got back to the house. She listened quietly as I practically babbled my story.

"He's trying to drive me crazy. I know he is," I sobbed in conclusion.

"Sweetheart, you've been under a lot of stress lately. Maybe you just need to relax and get a good night's sleep," Janice said, trying to calm me down.

"No. You don't understand. He said in his suicide note that he hoped I saw his face every time I closed my eyes. And I have. I haven't gotten any decent sleep since Sunday. And now, this. On top of that, I resigned my job to keep from getting fired," I broke down sobbing again. Part of me would have said that my body couldn't cry another drop, but I was obviously wrong again.

"Oh no. What will you do about the house? And all your bills?"

"I've got money coming in, and the insurance will take care of the mortgage. I'm employed to the end of the month, and I've been promised some severance. But I can't stay in that... that... place anymore. You don't understand. Terry hates me. He'll kill me if I stay there." The cool litigator was a half-step away from hysterical.

"Come on, sis. You're a rational person. That's a bit extreme, don't you think? How can a dead man possibly hurt you? Or kill you?" Janice asked, sensibly. I knew she was trying to get me to see reason, but she hadn't experienced what I did.

"But you weren't there," I protested.

"No, I wasn't. I tell you what. Why don't I take your things upstairs, then I'll make you a nice hot cup of chamomile tea and a grilled cheese sandwich. That should help calm you down, and then we can talk, all right?"

"All right," I said, suddenly feeling like a scared schoolgirl trying to hide from the monster under the bed.

Janice took my things upstairs, then went to her kitchen where she made two cups of tea and two grilled cheese sandwiches. She brought them to the front room on a tray and sat with me. I sipped the tea, which was flavored with honey. Then took a bite of the sandwich, which I found quite delicious. I had a wonderful flashback to my, our, childhood. Within moments, I began to relax and felt much better.

"Are you feeling better now?" Janice asked in a soothing tone.

"Yes, much," I replied with a deep and grateful sigh. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. Have you told anyone else about seeing Terry?"

"No. Are you kidding? I'd get put in the loony bin."

"Not necessarily. You've been through a lot these last few days. Seeing Terry like that must've been quite a shock to your system. Maybe you should take a few days and get away from things. I can talk to Richard and see if he'll agree to let you stay in the lake cabin. A few days in the country might do you a world of good," Janice offered.

"Maybe you're right. Wilson said I should get away also. He suggested I go to Boise."

"Boise? What's in Boise?" Janice asked, shocked, surprised, and a little amused.

"A friend of his is the managing partner of a law firm there. Apparently, he needs a good attorney," I responded.

"Are you going to take him up on it?" Janice asked.

"I don't know. I suppose I should at least call him. I'd hate to leave here, though. You and Richard are the only family I have now." I took another sip of tea before continuing. "By the way, I changed my will and my trust. You're now my sole beneficiary and the executor of my trust. I've also given you power of attorney just in case something happens to me. I hope you don't mind."

"No, of course not," Janice said. "But you're a young woman. I suspect you'll be around for a very long time."

"I hope so. Still, I like to be prepared," I said. We ate and drank in silence for a couple of minutes. "I've really screwed everything up, haven't I?" I ventured in a near whisper.

"You haven't done your cause much good lately," Janice conceded diplomatically.

"I guess I just wanted to have my cake and eat it too," I remarked sarcastically.

"And look at what it's cost you," Janice said quietly.

She didn't have to say it - I already knew what my greedy lust cost me. My husband of 24 years is dead, my career is basically over, and I can't even get a decent night's sleep. All because I listened to some juicy office gossip among single and divorced co-workers, and convinced myself that I just HAD to have Ray Bland's cock.

"Yeah," I sighed sadly.

"But it's too late to cry over spilled milk, as Mom used to tell us. You need to get yourself together, little sister."

"You're right," I told her. "I do. Maybe I'll take you up on your offer, get my head screwed back on right. Right now, I just need some sleep." Suddenly I let loose with a huge yawn that left my jaw aching. The tea had done its job, and I felt my eyelids quickly getting heavier.

"Let's get you upstairs," Janice said. "Before you nod off here on the couch." She helped me stand and walked me up the stairs to their guest room. The covers were already pulled down, and I barely managed to get into my nightgown. Janice pulled the bedspread over me after I collapsed under the covers.

"Thank you," I murmured to my big sister. "For everything."

Janice smiled and kissed me on the forehead. "You're welcome. Now get some sleep." She closed the door when she left and I drifted off to sleep.

"So, you thought you could escape me by running to your sister," I heard Terry's voice say sarcastically.

I looked around and saw the bedroom was filled with a thick gray mist, like a curdled cloud. Terry stepped out of the closet, pieces of his skull falling as he walked.

"Why are you here? Why can't you leave me alone?" I asked desperately.

"Leave you alone? Hah! I'll never leave you alone, bitch," Terry growled, his mutilated face morphing into an even uglier mask.

"That was you in the house, wasn't it?" I asked. "With the picture."

"Yes. It took a lot to get enough energy to do that. But now that I know I can do it, I'll be doing it more often," Terry sneered.

"Please! Can't you just leave me alone? You're dead. You're supposed to move on," I begged.

"Yes, I AM dead. But whose fault is that? Huh?"

"You pulled the trigger. I didn't force you to do that," I shot back.

"Yes, I pulled the trigger. It was either me or your boyfriend. But he was too much of a chickenshit to get out of his car," Terry snapped back.

"You were going to kill Ray?" I was horrified. My Terry, my gentle, accommodating, compliant, Terry, had morphed into a would-be murderer?

His expression became stormy. "Well, first I was going to blow his dick off, and when he realized his seducing days were over, THEN I would have killed him."

"Would you have killed... me?"

"I considered it. Seriously. But that would have been too quick, and I wanted you to feel PAIN."

"It didn't have to be this way!"

His eyes flashed crimson and I bit back a scream. "And what way should it have been... DEAREST?" he stormed, and I cringed. "Go along with your little cuckolding schemes and become a shell of a man with less than no respect? Slink off leaving divorce papers behind so your stable of attorneys could draw and quarter me in the public square? Empty what I could from the accounts and flee and spend my life dodging all those PIs you could afford? Burn down the house and spend years being Bubba's bitch in jail?

"I should have immediately talked all my wonderful options over with my family and friends. Oh, wait, I didn't have any family and I spent all my effort being a good husband, and had colleagues but no good friends, other than my best friend, which was supposed to be YOU!

"Your lawyer-ship carefully left me with NO good options, so I took the only option you hadn't expected, which still left me a sliver of self-respect and some measure of revenge. So... DEAR... I pulled the trigger because it was the only option I had.

"And now, my blood is on your hands. Look."

I looked at my hands and saw dark red blood covering them, thick droplets falling from between my fingers, and landing on Janice's bedspread. I recoiled at the sight.

"You may not see it in the light of day, but it's still there. And nothing can ever get rid of it," Terry added.

He shook and I heard his teeth rattle. More pieces of ruined head tumbled free but disappeared before they hit the floor. In a hoarse, agonized whisper, he added, "And I can't move on. I have what is called UNFINISHED business. I can't move on, up or down, until that business is... concluded." He gathered himself up and actually grew darker, and I nearly screamed.

"By the way. You never answered my question. Was your little fuckfest with Bland worth all of this? You not only lost me, but you no longer have that cushy job. And I know how much that meant to you. More than I did, anyway."

"Look, Terry. I'm sorry. Okay? I shouldn't have done it. I get it now. Go away. Leave me alone." I protested weakly. I was weary beyond the merely physical, and hated those parts of me which he was shoving my nose into.

"I don't think you really do get it," Terry replied, his tone softening a little. "You're right. You shouldn't have done it. In fact, you never should've entertained the notion at all. But you still think you're entitled to whatever the hell you want, and everyone else be damned. It's STILL all about YOU. As for leaving you alone - that's not gonna happen. Ever."

"Please, Terry. I'm begging you. I can't take anymore," I cried as tears began running down my face.

"Well, you know what they say. Want in one hand and shit in the other. See which one fills up first. I wanted a faithful wife who loved me as much as I loved her. Where did that get me, huh? Enjoy the rest of your miserable life, bitch," Terry sneered before laughing maniacally.

He disappeared back into the closet and the mist went with him as if sucked away by some unfelt psychic vacuum cleaner. The blood on my hands and Janice's bedspread disappeared. I fell back on the pillow, tears streaking down my face.

The next thing I knew, the sun was shining through the window. I got up, smelling bacon from downstairs, and inspected the bedspread with a shudder, but there was no trace of blood. I went into the bathroom and did my morning ritual, dressed, and went downstairs. I didn't feel much better, but at least I didn't feel any worse.

"Good morning," Richard said cheerfully as he sat at the table with his morning coffee. "Janice is just about finished with breakfast. Why don't you grab some coffee and have a seat?"

"Thanks, I think I'll do just that," I said. I greeted Janice, who was piling bacon on a plate, grabbed my coffee, wished tiredly for a double espresso, and returned to the table.

"How did you sleep last night?" Richard asked, concerned, as he got a better look at my haggard face.

"Not too well," I admitted.

"You saw him again last night?" Janice asked as she put the bacon and a plate of scrambled eggs on the table.

I shot her a look, then glanced at Richard. He didn't look shocked or incredulous, just concerned. For a moment I felt put out, as Janice had obviously shared my confidences with Richard. Then I relented. They were a real married couple and would have few if any secrets.

"Yeah," I replied. "Am I going crazy?" I asked Richard.

"I'm a surgeon, not a psychiatrist," he said with a slight smile. "But from what Janice told me, I'd say you've experienced a massive psychological trauma, and you're suffering from a lot of stress on top of it. What with Terry and your job..."

"Maybe you're right," I said quickly, not wanting to go over my list of misfortunes yet again.

"But if you like, I can speak with our staff psychiatrist at the hospital. I hear she's very good at her job. Maybe she can help you."

"I might take you up on that," I said. We each grabbed some bacon and eggs and began eating. Janice was the best cook I knew, next to my mother, and her eggs were delicious.

"We also talked about you spending some time at the lake cabin. We're okay with you staying there for a few days if you want. It might help settle you down a little," Richard said.

"That would be nice," I said. I knew from experience that the medical examiner would probably not release Terry's body until the end of the week, and I still had three weeks before I was officially unemployed. Perhaps, I thought, a few days at the lake would do the trick.

"Good. Then it's settled. I'll give you a key to the place before I head out. Are you gonna be okay driving up there?" Richard asked.