Man, I Feel Like a Woman Ch. 05

Spending the day with my brothers was awesome. I got to know them more. Ethan was taken care of by a very rich family. His father is the mayor and their family needed to set an example by having curfews and not do anything unholy to your body. But with Ethan's sleeve tattoo, he did something unholy alright. He laughed when his fake parents made him wear long sleeves even when the weather was hot.

Sharp has been in and out of jail for as long as he knew. His favorite outfit is the orange jumpsuit with his name on it. He's the oldest and he knew when to have fun and when to be serious. He has a tattoo across his chest that says, J'avo. He named his gang that after a video game he played, when he stole the game. And the console. And the TV.

"How do you act around Aaron?" I ask them. We were on my bed, lying down. I'm surprised it fits all of us because Ethan and Sharp are muscular. Especially Sharp, I'm scared for him to roll over before I am crushed to death.

"We're acquaintances," Ethan said. "He doesn't really share his life so we don't ask."

"Yet he didn't ask ours," Sharp said. "We bond over how well we progress in training."

"What are your powers anyway?" I ask, looking at them.

"I talk to animals and I can control them," Ethan shared. "I bond with sharks more though. It's because I'm stronger on the water element."

"So we share the same power?" I ask. When they nod, I had to ask, "Then what's special about me?"

"You're the only girl who can do all four," Sharp said. "No girl in our family had more than one."

Okay, note to self: ask Quinn about this. "How about your power, Sharp? Besides elements."

"Storms," he said. "I love the lightning."

"That's why it is best not to get him angry," Ethan said in a mocking tone, but his eyes show no humor.

"I miss my family," I said, glumly. My brothers gave this odd look at each other. "What?" I ask.

"We simply don't," Ethan said. "We felt different with our acting families."

"It's no different here," I said. "We have Aaron. No mother."

"One day we'll all give Aaron a chance," he said. "Now Sharp and I should leave. You need to be with your guide."

They get off the bed and opened the door. Quinn came in and sat next to my hip.

"We love you," Sharp said with a smile. "Goodnight sis." Then they went out and closed the door.

I sat up. "They love me already?"

Quinn chuckled. "What do you expect? Them to not like you? You're funny. Don't you love them back?"

I shrug. "They're fun to be around. I don't want them hurt. I like them happy."

"Then you love them."

I smile. "Then I love them."

Quinn got up and held out his hand. "As a guide, I'm here to make sure you're comfortable with your family. Now come."

I grabbed his hand and I soon followed him out the door. "Where are we going?"

"To your father's room," Quinn looked at me.

"Why?" I made an attempt to stop walking but my legs kept moving. How is that possible?

Quinn sighed. "Later, you will need to help him. Soon he will have to make a decision for you."

"What decision?"

"It doesn't matter. Only that yes would benefit you and your family. A no would make things worse."

I shook my head. "You're not making sense."

He scoffed. "Things will make sense once I leave."

We stopped at a black double door. "You need to go in there and create conversation," Quinn lets go and opens the door. Then he pushes me in and closes the door.

Asshole.

"Elizabeth," I hear Aaron say behind me.

I slowly turn around to see Aaron on the bed with silk pajamas, reading glasses and a book. "Hi Aaron," I said.

Aaron gives me a closed smile. He put his book and glasses on the nightstand. His room is what a person would describe old, dark and royal. Dark wood furniture and red, dark red fabric. "What can I do for you?"

I hesitate. "Um...I'm here to...make conversation."

He pats to the space next to him.

I slowly walk over and sit. Making sure we don't touch.

"And what conversation do you want to start with?" he ask.

I don't even know. I wasn't prepared for this. "What age are you stuck with?" I ask. Well I blurted.

"Thirty-two," he answered. "But I've been this age since you were born."

"So you're actually fifty-one?" I clarified.

He nods, smiling.

"Where's my...mom?" I ask.

His smile faded. "I assume she's with her mother, father, brothers and sisters."

"Does she know we're here?"

He nods. "Very well."

"Both of you aren't married?"

Aaron shook his head. "Back then, we didn't understand our family rivalry. So young, we decided to have fun, lots of sex. Once we found out she was pregnant, we told our family. They were furious." He sighs. "For centuries our families have been fighting for the number one spot. Where the position is much closer to The Order."

"So it's all about power?" I ask.

"Your mother's side craves for being better. When Sharp came, they found out that you guys have remarkable power. Her parents forced her to love me, at least pretend to. But I didn't, I'm sorry. When I didn't propose to her, as the mother she had you guys under her care."

"Did she make the decision to put us away?" I ask, swallowing.

He nods. "For the first year I thought she didn't want me to see you guys. But then I found the truth. I was so mad. I've spent my time to find you guys. I could've just kept doing my duty as the head of the family but I needed to find you guys."

"Then you just kept track?" I ask.

He nods. "I wasn't fit to be a father. I'm still not. But I'm trying."

I nod. "What is my role for this family?"

"You wanna know your actual duties other than studying and training?" he ask, eyebrow raised.

I nod. "It's fun," I said, sarcastically. "But I need more."

"Well you and your brothers need to build a team. We're not in war but just in case. You need to lead them. You're also part of The Order's workers. You help suggest decisions to make our society better. Usually you go to them but for now you tell me."

"Decisions for just the society?" I clarify.

He nods. "Also for the family. You make sure we don't show weakness."

I nod. "Every family for themselves?"

He shrugs. "Kind of. It's like a sports team. You work together yet you make yourself better. Got it, princess?"

"Yes dad." Damn, it came automatically.

He smiled. "Well you should get sleep. Busy day for you and your brothers."

"Night," I said, not saying dad. It would be too awkward.

"Goodnight Elizabeth."

For the next few weeks, it was non-stop training and studying. Half of the time it would be with Quinn. The other half is with my family.

Aaron makes sure that our powers maintain at a level where we don't abuse it. Sharp has a hard time with that; he would go over the limit. Ethan would stay within the limit. For me, I'm below limit.

I still can't do well on Earth and Fire. There would be a small shake or a spark but nothing more than that. My family has been very patient; Quinn on the other hand is getting frustrated.

For the hundredth time, he yelled at me in my room.

"You have to try harder, Bee!" Quinn said. "You're running out of time!"

I grunted. "If you would stop yelling at me, then I would've done what you asked!"

"Even if I do not yell, it still won't go through your stupid head!"

"You're the one that's stupid, asshole!"

"Don't you dare call me that!"

I growled. "Well, fuck you! I'm leaving!" I head towards the door.

He calls after me, "Do not walk away, we aren't finish!"

"Well finish it yourself!" I said back to him as I walk out my bedroom door.

"Is everything all right, Miss Lightning?" Connor asks.

Connor is one of the two guards that were assigned to protect me. The other guard is Marco.

I sighed. "I'm fine. I just need to take a walk."

They both nod and followed closely behind me. Not only did I have guards. My whole family gets a set of two. I always laugh when Sharp escapes his guard just to have alone time.

When the guards came for the first time, they gave each of us a note. The letter said:

To Elizabeth:

Please accept the protection we provided for your whole family.

Until we meet,

The Order

When I studied more about The Order, it had all the things Matt said about them.

Also that if a family member is part of The Order, it doesn't affect their family's ranking. The book provided pictures of past members of The Order. It was old and not very clear on the faces. But apparently, when starting a new life, they would have the same face.

So I would look like my great-grandma.

When I turned the corner I saw my brothers putting their ears against Aaron's office door. Their guards are at the side, looking like security.

"What are you guys doing?" I asked.

"Sshh," they both said, not taking their ears off the door.

I whispered, "What are you guys doing?"

"The Order is inside," Ethan whispered. "No announcement whatsoever."

"So it must be serious," I whispered.

"Everything about The Order is serious," Sharp whispered. "But come out of the blue? My guess is that we're fucked up."

I shook my head, smiling, "Guess we are."

They chuckled for a moment but it ended when Ethan said, "Did they stop talking?"

"Shit," Sharp whispered, backing away. "Quick to the couch!"

Once we sat our asses down, the door of the office opened. Out came Aaron looking surprised, "Kids."

"Hi dad," we said casually.

Behind Aaron are three black hooded figures. All three of them are in black wool capes completed with hoods. The middle guy has a big red jewel that keeps the cape closed. The other two have bright blue.

At least we know who's the boss.

Aaron recovered the shock of us being downstairs (because we're supposed to be upstairs training and studying) and went to introduce us. "Mr. Cain, these are my children, Sharp, Ethan and Elizabeth."

One of the blue jewel guys stepped out of their triangle and held his hand out. "It's a pleasure to meet the three of you," Mr. Cain says. I remembered he's a few years older than me. But I feel like I'm meeting an old man.

"This is your cousin," Aaron gestures to the other blue jeweled guy.

He came up to us and squeezed our shoulders saying, "So glad to meet you."

After he was done, Aaron introduced us to the last one of the three. "This is Mr. Carson."

Mr. Carson just nodded.

Wow, ain't that a bitch.

"Shouldn't you three be studying?" Aaron said.

Sharp shrugged, "I ran out of energy. I went over my limit." Again.

"My sharks need to eat," Ethan said. He has a tank of nurse sharks.

"I had a fight with my guide," I tell him.

"So that's what the yelling was about," my cousin said in an amused tone. "I feel sorry for your guide."

I shrug. "He'll live."

"Kids," dad said. "The Order decided to stay a bit. To, uh...keep watch."

That doesn't sound good.

"Elizabeth," Dad said. "Show them their rooms."

Damn, all the guests rooms are near my bedroom. I smile, "Yes Dad."

When I start to lead the way, I looked behind me to see that they're on my heels. Creepy. Two of my guards are behind them. More creepy.

When we turned to the hallway, I see Quinn right outside my door.

"Shit," I hear him mutter.

"Looks like your guide has been waiting for you," Mr. Carson said. I knew it was him because he has the sense of authority. It also sounds oddly familiar.

"They can't hear me," Quinn says. "But give me—Mister Carson the guest room next to you."

Weird. I nod and did what Quinn said. I showed my cousin and Cain the rooms across the hall.

"Mr. Carson," I said, walking to the door next to my room. "This is your room." Opening the door, he steps inside.

Looking around, at least I think he is, he said, "Nice room." He then held out his hand, "Thank you."

His hand wasn't bare. It's a black leather glove I shook. "If you need anything, Mr.Carson," I said. "Please feel free to knock at my door."

He lets go. "You're too kind," he said, his tone sounded like he didn't want me to be kind.

I nod and went next door to my bedroom where Quinn was waiting for me.

"They came early," Quinn shook his head. "That's impossible."

Anger out of the way, I asked, "What do you mean?"

He closed his eyes. "Now, I see why they came early."

"What?" I asked, impatiently.

"We- they are gonna evaluate on you and your brothers," Quinn said. "I'm supposed to be gone before they came."

"So you're leaving?" I didn't want him to...

He looked at me and gave me a smile. "We're not saying goodbye forever. Plus, you're a strong girl and I know you can show them that you're capable of doing anything."

I slowly start to tear. Even though we fight almost every day, I will miss his company.

Quinn walks over to me and put his finger under my chin. "Remember what I told you," he said, making me look up at him. "Never give up on me once you see me."

I nod.

He leans down and gives me a soft kiss. That soft kiss seems to wake up my whole body. When he pulled away, not too much, I opened my eyes to see he started to fade.

He winks and gives me a small smile. "I love you." Then, he's gone.

Wait, he loves me?

I wipe the tears off my face, but it keeps on streaming down. Does this mean that I love him too?

All I knew was that I need Quinn in my life. Now.

It has been a silent week. The Order didn't come out of their rooms. The wall between Mr. Carson and I has been silent.

One day, my brothers and I were called up to Aaron's office. When we walked in, The Order was there.

"What's going on?" Sharp asked.

"Looks like we are going to evaluate you," Mr. Cain said.

Sharp tightened his jaw.

"Individually," our cousin said.

Shit. Damn. Fuck. I am not prepared.

"Elizabeth," Mr. Carson said. "Please follow me."

Man, I got probably the toughest critic ever!

I followed Mr. Carson to the garden. The garden is beautiful with many irises and other flowers. The hedges would either be straight or elegantly odd. We stopped in front of a big fountain.

If it weren't for my nervousness and awkwardness, I would think of this as a date.

"Sit," Mr. Carson said as he sat down, careful not to fall into the fountain.

But this isn't a date. It's a lesson.

I sat down and started blabbing. "Mr. Carson, I am really new at this. I can't touch full potential on the other half of my powers. My guide said that I'm not yet strong enough. Also he said not to admit my weakness but I'm just scared." I breathe.

When I tried looking at Mr. Carson, I didn't see a face, just the shadow of his hood.

"Your guide is very smart about not admitting your weakness," Mr. Carson said. He didn't sound mad, yet he didn't sound caring. "Do not speak of this to anyone. I forbid you to tell anyone your weakness."

I gulped and nod. Something about this tells me that I should obey before there are consequences.

"We aren't reviewing your powers yet," Mr. Carson said. "I am very aware your difficulty on conjuring Earth and Fire. You're still weak."

"Then what are we doing, Mr. Carson?" I asked, quietly, feelings a little hurt. Well, it hurts a lot.

"What is your full name?" he asks.

I was taken aback but I answered, "Elizabeth Beatrice Lightning."

"You forgot your mother's last name."

I sighed. "Elizabeth Beatrice Firesphere Lightning."

"How old are you?"

"Twenty-one."

"No."

"What then?" I asked. "A hundred something?"

He chuckled. "Not even close."

"Then what?" I scoffed.

"You're almost as old as me."

I shook my head. "My friends said our generation is at least one hundred years old."

"Who are they?"

"Matt and Victor Cain."

He nods. "Now I see. Well, let's carry on. Do you know that your family is in danger of losing their title?"

"What?!" I stood up. "No, no that can't be."

"Your cousins have much more greater experience and they up their ranks with the spouses they are married to now," he said.

"But we can buy time right?" I said, pacing. "I just need to conjure Earth-"

"Elizabeth-"

"Then there's Fire," I continued, ignoring him. "Shouldn't take that long-"

"Elizabeth-"

"I mean, it didn't take that long to conjure water and air-"

"Elizabeth, stop pacing!" Mr. Carson's voice changed.

When I turned to look at him, I was gonna walk back to sit but I couldn't move!

"Listen to me, Elizabeth. There's no changing on what lies ahead for your family," Mr. Carson said. "You can continue training, however, it might not change."

"So there's no point in training?"

He grunted. "That's not what I said. We all need everyone to train unless consequences will be taken."

"Why can't I move?!" I tried to take a step but a force just tells me not to.

"I apologize," Mr.Carson raised his hand.

Something released its hold on me, I feel free again.

"What power is that?" I ask him.

I feel like he's glaring at me but I can't see because of the hood. "It's none of your concern," he said, bitterly.

"But what do I do?" I ask.

He laughed. "You? Nothing. It's up for your father to decide your family's next move."

I sighed and sat down. I was silent for a while and Mr. Carson just stayed by my side.

A few minutes later, he spoke. "Penny for your thoughts?"

I shook my head. "I wish my guide was here."

"People come and go, Elizabeth."

I closed my eyes. "He told me he loved me."

"Hmm... it could be a very close friend or your husband."

"My-my husband?"

"Yes he could be. He seems very...powerful. Is he good or bad?"

I shrug.

"Well, marrying a man with high powers will bring your family up." Mr.Carson said. "Not that I'm forcing you. It's a suggestion."

I laughed. "Wow that's funny."

"I'm here to help, you know. I like working with your father more than your mother."

"I don't like marriages like that," I huffed.

"You must be saving it for your guide," Mr. Carson said. "Well, it's your decision."

For the past few days, it was non-stop training and trying to have Quinn back here. But as expected, no results... at all. I got stronger in Water and Air but no changes on Fire or Earth.

One day my cousin visited me in my room.

"Hey...cousin," I said, sitting down in my room.

He laughed, "Call me by my name, Sebastian." Then he took off his hood.

I gaped. I had never seen anyone that's so...light. He's very pale against his uniform. Not the kind of pale where he is dying. His skin is so porcelain. His hair is so blonde it could look white in different lighting. The only color I see from him is his eyes, which are brown, and his pinkish lips. I blinked, "Are you even allowed to do that?"

He smiled. "Yeah, we're family."

"Well, our family is in danger," I sighed. "And I'm trying really hard."

"Yeah I can tell," his eyes show amusement. "Carson is complaining about the noise you are making."

Whoops. "Is there a way you can talk to each other without letting other people know?" I ask.

He nods and something in his eyes changed. It looked determined and his eyes started to glow a bright silver, "Nemo autem audire nos. Puritatem."

Something in the air changed. Instead of the feeling like someone will come in anytime, it feels like I'm in a pocket. "Are we good?" I ask, double checking.

He nods.

I started explaining everything. I told him that my guide said I need to take control in order to get the last two elements. But I don't even know what or how to control my life. I thought I have everything planned out but surprises attacked me. I also explained that I really want to help the family out, to be able to do something. Sharp and Ethan are already getting started on finding people who can be trained in a team. Dad is making decisions and I'm just there, doing nothing but studying and training. Then I stopped talking.

Sebastian leaned forward a little bit and he looks around, like someone would be listening. When a few moments passed by, he spoke, "Let's go to Carson's room." He got up and motions me to follow him.