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Click hereUntil . . . until . . .
My eyes snapped open.
Until today.
Today wasn't just another day. Sure, Connor had told me "let's just enjoy ourselves and kick back, have a few drinks, get a good workout . . ." I never, ever suspected that what he really wanted to do was to fuck me . . . hard . . . bare . . . and like I was a bitch or something. Disrespecting me. Disrespecting my manhood.
And even when I was in pain after his fucking, he tried to do it again and didn't give a SHIT about how I felt. I saw a side to him I'd never seen in all the months we'd been friends. And then he had the balls to tell me he LOVED me? What the fuck was that all about?
I got out of the tub, pulled a towel off the counter, and started drying myself. And as I rubbed the towel over me, my mind became calm and I began to realize the truth.
Connor was my friend. And we had some great times together, in bed and out. But love? No way.
I knew that I loved someone. And she was upset and probably crying now because she thought I didn't want her to be with me. But I did want her to be with me. Forever.
Yeah, Connor was my friend. But from the first time he fucked me, I knew . . . I just knew . . . that it would never be the same.
And as much as I appreciated all the things Connor did for me . . . the gifts . . . the caring . . . the sharing . . . I could never be in love with him like I was with Maria. Because I was who I was. And he was who he was.
And between our two lives, there was no bridge.
I wrapped the towel around me, carefully feeling my ass before I knotted it. It still hurt like hell and I knew it would be awhile before it would be back to normal. But back to normal it would eventually be.
Just like my life.
###
Epilogue
###
It's been 5 years since I walked out of the bathroom and sat down at my computer.
I wrote Connor an e-mail and did the best I could to tell him it was over. I don't remember the exact words, but it was clear enough for him to know that I would never see him again.
I don't think he liked it. But at least he left me alone.
I know he and Jason eventually moved from Ohio down to Tampa, Florida. He still e-mails me from time to time, but I never respond. He often tells me how much he wishes we were still together.
Maybe he does.
But I laughed when I read his last e-mail. He mentioned that he had met another Latino guy at his gym and was "working on him". I grinned and thought of the old saying, "A leopard does not change his spots." That definitely applied to Connor!
And me?
Well . . . nothing special.
I'm married now to Maria and we have a child. I'm very happy with my family, my job, and just living my life.
Yes, I know what you are wondering . . .
You want to know if I ever messed around with a guy again after Connor and Jason.
And the answer is simple . . .
No.
Even though I enjoyed my experiences, I've decided I'm done with men.
I admit that I get a bit nostalgic at times when I think about Connor and our close friendship and how it turned out. And I definitely remember the great sex!
But that's as far as it goes.
I'm committed . . . to my wife . . . my child . . . and me.
I will say though that the biggest thing I learned from my experiences is to not be afraid to live your life the way YOU want to live it.
Regardless of what other people say. Regardless of what other people think. Live life for you.
Every day.
Every moment.
Everything.
Yes, I'm a straight man and I had sex with other men.
But that doesn't make me anything other than what I choose it to make me.
Oh, I know people will think I'm "this" or I'm "that". And they'll label me "this" and "that". And that's fine with me.
Because I know who I am.
And they can be whoever they choose to be.
We're all human beings. And I think that pretty much says it all.
I experienced something that opened me up to the beauty of life. In all its wild, strange, and crazy ways.
And I learned that I am . . . who I am.
How many people can truly say that about themselves?
- COMMENTS
Anonymous7 months agoIt's basically realistic for the "seduction meets needs" aspect. I've had several relationships with straight dudes and even kept a lifelong friend who made me 5 times "uncle". When I was younger I sometimes let my hunger mess-up a bit the guy I was after, though I never had a complaint ;-) We were not flakes, dudes used own their decisions and keep going.
Anonymousover 5 years agoYour writing was so riveting and true to life. It really opens up the psychology and chemistry of what happens with straight men into gay sex. Glad your friend was open-minded enough to have his story published. It also teaches us valuable lessons, on how to maintain your pride, dignity, sometimes losing it or regaining it again and shows both the bright and dark sides of men. Thought provoking story.
Ryan Carlyleabout 6 years agoAuthorYou are so very kind to say that! Thank you very much.
I am glad you have enjoyed the stories. I wrote several of them so many years ago, but revised them when I was self-publishing. I no longer write or publish, and still got requests from fans the last year for different work. So, I decided to just publish them all in one place that I could refer people to.
I often get requests to write a sequel to "Straight Tequila". I wish I could accede to the requests, but I simply do not write anymore. I've had some writers contact me and ask if they could write sequels or "off" stories on the characters or plot and they are more than welcome to do so. So maybe someone will do that one day.
Again, thank you for your kind words. I am most appreciative!
Anonymousabout 6 years agoI NEVER leave reviews, but like the title says, you're an AMAZING writer!! I had to leave a review! You REALLY know how to pull a reader in along for the ride! I have ALL your stories except "Mario's Massage". The only reason I haven't read it is because once I do, I'll have no other entries left of your stories to read!!! Lol! I never want your stories to end! I loved the ending of "Manly Persuasion", but "Straight Tequila" seems like it isn't quite finished just yet. Maybe because it's my FAVORITE story of yours, I just don't want it end!! I hope you continue writing..You have serious talent! Coming from a woman, you're one of my new favorite authors on this site!!
Anonymousabout 6 years agoJavier is bisexual, but seems to lean more towards women. Not really sure though since he never in all these months had a sex scene with Maria. Married her without telling her the truth it will come out sometime. It's only been 5 years the itch will return or Maria will start pegging him. Or she will cheat in him since he seems to be down for the count after a few minutes of sex.
Ryan Carlyleabout 6 years agoAuthorFor those who have commented, I am glad you enjoyed the entire story. People always end up loving or hating the last part and ending. What is ironic is that this is based on a true story of a friend of mine.
So, if nothing else, I hope people see the complex nature of working through one's sexuality. My friend shared these experiences with me, wanting to preserve in writing memories that were an important part of his life. He never had any intention of me writing a story about it, until I suggested it would make a good one. Once I finished it and he read it, he was happy with the result. Although he did ask how I did the sex scenes, since I was not there with him and Connor! I had to explain the concept of narrative license to him, and he laughed and laughed.
PG564Eabout 6 years agoWow! Loved how you injected real life back into your tale. Very true to life, there are magical moments of change, learning, embracing our constantly changing situations.
I think your a gifted writer man. Skilled, and hope you sharing this talent with the world.
Anonymousabout 6 years agoI wish that Javier did not have to go through that selfish bullshit from Connor. That would certainly turn me off too. Making love involves both giving and receiving. Too much of one without the other is bad for both parties. Apparently Javier has found that elusive balance with his wife. It sounds like he could just as easily have found it with the right man too. That doesn't make him gay or straight - just human. Lovely story.
Anonymousabout 6 years agoI guess good for Javier, and to bad for Connor. Its to bad Connor decided to turn into such a selfish prick in the end, it seems to have backfired big-time. He destroyed a good friendship in the end! You could sense early on that he was falling in love with Javier. Another unrequited love story, and kind of a disappointing ending. I didn't see it working out this way at all. Some guys just can't get past the ego, macho bullshit even when the M/M sex is smoldering Hot! Maybe if Connor would have been a bit more versatile and given up his own ass, instead of being such a dominant top, that would have allowed Javier to keep some dignity and turned the tables. I'm also surprised that neither Connor or Jason decided to enlighten Maria just out of spite. But Javier would have likely followed through with his strong warning to Jason! Straight Guys, go figure!!!
