Manly Persuasion Ch. 03

Until . . . until . . .

My eyes snapped open.

Until today.

Today wasn't just another day. Sure, Connor had told me "let's just enjoy ourselves and kick back, have a few drinks, get a good workout . . ." I never, ever suspected that what he really wanted to do was to fuck me . . . hard . . . bare . . . and like I was a bitch or something. Disrespecting me. Disrespecting my manhood.

And even when I was in pain after his fucking, he tried to do it again and didn't give a SHIT about how I felt. I saw a side to him I'd never seen in all the months we'd been friends. And then he had the balls to tell me he LOVED me? What the fuck was that all about?

I got out of the tub, pulled a towel off the counter, and started drying myself. And as I rubbed the towel over me, my mind became calm and I began to realize the truth.

Connor was my friend. And we had some great times together, in bed and out. But love? No way.

I knew that I loved someone. And she was upset and probably crying now because she thought I didn't want her to be with me. But I did want her to be with me. Forever.

Yeah, Connor was my friend. But from the first time he fucked me, I knew . . . I just knew . . . that it would never be the same.

And as much as I appreciated all the things Connor did for me . . . the gifts . . . the caring . . . the sharing . . . I could never be in love with him like I was with Maria. Because I was who I was. And he was who he was.

And between our two lives, there was no bridge.

I wrapped the towel around me, carefully feeling my ass before I knotted it. It still hurt like hell and I knew it would be awhile before it would be back to normal. But back to normal it would eventually be.

Just like my life.

###

Epilogue

###

It's been 5 years since I walked out of the bathroom and sat down at my computer.

I wrote Connor an e-mail and did the best I could to tell him it was over. I don't remember the exact words, but it was clear enough for him to know that I would never see him again.

I don't think he liked it. But at least he left me alone.

I know he and Jason eventually moved from Ohio down to Tampa, Florida. He still e-mails me from time to time, but I never respond. He often tells me how much he wishes we were still together.

Maybe he does.

But I laughed when I read his last e-mail. He mentioned that he had met another Latino guy at his gym and was "working on him". I grinned and thought of the old saying, "A leopard does not change his spots." That definitely applied to Connor!

And me?

Well . . . nothing special.

I'm married now to Maria and we have a child. I'm very happy with my family, my job, and just living my life.

Yes, I know what you are wondering . . .

You want to know if I ever messed around with a guy again after Connor and Jason.

And the answer is simple . . .

No.

Even though I enjoyed my experiences, I've decided I'm done with men.

I admit that I get a bit nostalgic at times when I think about Connor and our close friendship and how it turned out. And I definitely remember the great sex!

But that's as far as it goes.

I'm committed . . . to my wife . . . my child . . . and me.

I will say though that the biggest thing I learned from my experiences is to not be afraid to live your life the way YOU want to live it.

Regardless of what other people say. Regardless of what other people think. Live life for you.

Every day.

Every moment.

Everything.

Yes, I'm a straight man and I had sex with other men.

But that doesn't make me anything other than what I choose it to make me.

Oh, I know people will think I'm "this" or I'm "that". And they'll label me "this" and "that". And that's fine with me.

Because I know who I am.

And they can be whoever they choose to be.

We're all human beings. And I think that pretty much says it all.

I experienced something that opened me up to the beauty of life. In all its wild, strange, and crazy ways.

And I learned that I am . . . who I am.

How many people can truly say that about themselves?