Mass Effect - A Hero Rises Ch. 13

Book 1, Chapter 13 -- Relationships

*****

"It's a piece of shit, Shepard, but thanks for doing it for me," the big krogan rumbled. I just slapped him on the back.

"No worries, Wrex. Glad to help you out. What will you do with it?"

"The armour? Nothing but a memento of times past. But I've been thinking after all our chats, and though you're centuries younger than me, I'll ask for your advice. My people... They need help and as I'm out here, helping you, and apparently solving half of the galaxies problems, I'm wondering if it isn't time to go home and finally do something."

"You have a strength in your I've rarely seen, Wrex. Do you believe you could unite your people?"

"All I can do is try. But being around you lot, seeing how you are changing things, or resolving old issues, it's got me thinking at least."

"Well, not sure if it means anything, but you have my support."

I noticed the smile, if krogan did smile, appear. "Thank, Shepard. Means a lot coming from anyone other than a non-krogan. Not used to people giving a shit about our problems."

"Don't know about other krogan, Wrex, but I do believe in honour. Not sure what you've done over the years, maybe you've done some shit to survive, but you've stuck by my side ever since you stepped foot on this ship. So, as far as I'm concerned, you've had my back, so I'll have yours in the future."

"Keep this up, Shepard, I'm going to cry." He said it in such a tone, we both started to laugh, almost falling over when he smacked me on the upper arm.

Leaning back against the bench, I crossed my arms and relaxed, as I wanted to broach another subject on my mind. "Tell me to butt out if you wish, Wrex, but I do have another question or two, of a more personal nature."

"You're the CO, Shepard. Ask whatever you want."

"Okay, fair enough. What's the deal with Ashley and Tali? Merely curious, that's all."

The big krogan rumbled with laughter. "Figured you would ask eventually. Okay, I'll put it simply regarding Ashley. She's horny, Shepard. I mean, she's down to fuck. And since you were giving her signals but didn't follow through, she went looking elsewhere. Don't get me wrong, she really likes you but, given the mixed signals, she simply wanted to be fucked and I guess I was the next best thing."

I couldn't help sigh. "It's not mixed signals, Wrex. I like her but... I don't want to mix work and pleasure. Being intimate with Shiala hasn't created too many issues but we haven't been together since before Noveria. I know Liara is ever so keen and Benezia is now showing an interest too, though I'm sure she has rather different motives than others."

"I'm not one to tell you what to do, Shepard, but trust me on this. Ashley wants to be fucked, and she definitely wants to be fucked by you. Yes, I've been with her but I was a... stopgap... simply a dick for her to enjoy."

"Selling yourself short there, Wrex."

"I'm a realist, Shepard. I'm krogan, she's human. No human is going to look at a krogan as a potential romantic partner, never mind some sort of mate. Don't think that's possible anyway. No, she was with me as a way to let off some steam. Don't get me wrong, enjoyed every second. Human females definitely have some qualities any species of male can enjoy."

"What about Tali?"

Wrex remained surprisingly quiet for a while. "I like her a lot, Shepard. She's fucking adorable. Part of me just wants to hide her away from all the evil and cruelties of the galaxy. She's my little friend, and I'd do anything to protect her." I couldn't help meet his eyes, nodding at the sincerity in his voice. I had seen the bond they'd already built. Then he smirked. "I will admit that there is this carnal part of me, that every krogan has, that simply wants to rip off that suit of hers and ruin her. I've already warned her about that, the fact I would hurt her, and most of me would feel awful about it. There's that small part, one or two percent, that wants to throw her down and just ruin that pussy. But I could never do it. You do realise she's a virgin, right?" I nodded. "And she's crazy about you, Shepard. And the reason she comes to me is that she is completely and utterly sexually repressed being in that suit. It's why she's come to me and it's why she's looking at Ashley as a potential partner."

"Wait, what? Ashley? I didn't even think..."

"No idea if they are or not, but Tali has definitely shown as interest in Ashley, and she's certainly told Tali what she thinks of her. Honestly, once Tali is out of that suit of hers, and I think it'll happen soon, I believe Ashley will be having first go at that pussy. Good for both of them, I say."

I couldn't help chuckle. "I understand now what Garrus was talking about when going on about the relationships in this ship. So what about you and Alenko?"

"Look, you've obviously realised by now I like to fuck, Shepard, and I'll fuck anyone. I'm too old to give a shit. But I also don't do feelings. Once the other person gets those, I end it. I'm not sure he has feelings, but I think he has expectations I'm simply not willing to meet. I think he needs to find one of his own kind to have a proper relationship with."

I ran a hand down my face at the revelations. "You understand why I keep my distance right? Shiala wasn't a mistake, but I gave into temptation very easy regarding her. I think it was the connection from Feros. But Liara, Ashley, Tali, even Benezia... I keep my work and private life separate. You obviously know about the women I've been with otherwise as I haven't kept it a secret..."

"You really liked that cop on Noveria, didn't you?"

I couldn't help sigh. "It was probably for the best we left when we did, Wrex, otherwise we would never have left. But even with her, I still though about..."

"You've got to let her go, Shepard." I met his eyes again. He simply met mine before adding, "Trust me on this, Shepard. Lived a long time. You've carried it around for long enough. You need to let the anger, pain, hurt, everything, just let it go. Otherwise it's just going to eat you up eventually, and you're going to miss out on so many good things. You have a whole host of women that adore you, and they expect nothing else except your company. That cop on Noveria? I know for a fact she loves you already. Shiala? I reckon she feels the same as well. As for all the other woman, let's just say I don't stand a chance if you were to actually return their interest."

"Wise words, Wrex."

"I'm a krogan, Shepard. We've dealt with nothing but anger and pain for a thousand years. But because of that, we can't afford what we would now call 'weak' emotions, things like love. We don't make love or anything like that. We breed, simply because we have to do everything we can to keep our numbers at least level. That's what the genophage has done to us." Then he sighed. "Shepard, I've been a warrior all my life, like my father before me. Yet there was a time when we krogan did experience such things as joy, laughter, love... The genophage took all of that from us. They've ripped out everything that made us krogan. Those left are nothing but shells, now fighting over the shattered carcass of what we once were." Damn, his words really got to me, not able to meet his eyes, his own voice heavy with emotion. I felt one of his hands grip my shoulder. "And I appreciate the fact my words impact you as they have, my friend. The fact you care means the world to someone like myself."

"What can I do to help?"

"At the moment, absolutely nothing. No-one cares, Shepard. If we were to wither and die, there would be a news report about our demise, but it would appear memories are long and no-one is even close to considering an end to the genophage." He sighed again. "Quite frankly, what was done to us was far crueller than simply just wiping us all out and ending it at the beginning."

I didn't say anything for a few minutes, going over in my head everything he'd just told me, before I finally straightened and turned to him. "I give you my word as an Alliance soldier, a Council Spectre, but most importantly as a human, I'll do whatever I can to help Wrex, if you do what you think you should do."

"You mean going home?" I nodded. "I haven't been back to Tuchanka in a long time now. Barely remember what it looks like. Last time I was there, it was nothing but ruins. Probably looks the same even after all this time."

"Let's see what happens regarding Saren. Once we take the bastard down..."

"I'll keep thinking about it, Shepard. See if I can make some contacts and if I still have some allies worth my time and day. If so, then maybe, just maybe, returning to Tuchanka is the right thing to do."

I left him alone with his thoughts, heading over to Garrus for a quick chat. He'd been in a good mood after boarding the Normandy after our last stop on the Citadel. I knew all about his relationship with Chloe, but knowing how awkward he could be about anything too personal, I didn't ask him bluntly about it, simply making sure he'd enjoyed himself on the Citadel.

After a chat with him, I thought I'd head into engineering, checking in with Chief Adams, who always appreciated the fact I'd take the time to walk around the ship and chat with the crew, reporting in that everything was absolutely fine as always, and if anything even went momentarily wrong, he had the crew to deal with it.

I could see Tali glancing my way every so often, so I thought I'd have a quick chat with her as always. She was busy typing away at her workstation as I leaned back nearby. She glanced up at me for a moment, figuring she smiled, before concentrating on her work again.

"So I understand you want to have some fun with Ashley?" The fingers immediately froze, which did amuse me a little bit. "I mean, I can understand why, Tali. Ash is an attractive woman. But where does Wrex fit in all of this?"

"Keelah, I thought..."

"Tali, I'm certainly not judging. Do what you want. You're only young once."

"It's not just that, Shepard." She looked up, her eyes behind the mask meeting mine. "And you know what I mean."

"In more ways than one, Tali. So... Ashley, are you serious about it?" I had a feeling she was blushing, as the nod was rather shy. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

That made her head turn, definitely in surprise. "You're serious?"

"If you wish to be intimate with her, knowing the difficulties you face, I want to help."

She sighed. "Damn it, Shepard, this is why I'd love you to be my first too."

"And while part of me would like that, as I've explained, I keep ship life and personal life separate. I've done a lot of flirting with Ashley, and trust me on this, part of me would love to pin her down and just fuck her..."

"Why don't you then?"

It was a good question. "It would change our dynamic, particularly unconsciously. Look, I like Ashley a lot. She's absolutely gorgeous, everything I could wish for in a fellow soldier, and she's just lovely to be around. As for you, Tali, I don't think anyone on this vessel has a bad word to say about you. I love having you on here, but much like Ashley, I don't want to ruin the relationship we already have by including sex in it. Sex is great, can be wonderful, but once you involve that sort of intimacy, it can ruin things. I need to have distance, mostly for myself."

She reached out and grabbed my hand. "I understand, Shepard. Thank you for explaining." She paused before asking, "The only one I question is Liara. What about her?"

"Same as you and Ashley."

"And her mother?"

I couldn't help chuckle. "Noticed the change in attitude, have you? Yeah, not sure about that, but she's stuck here for the duration, so I'll see what happens." I gave her hand a squeeze. "How can I help you with Ashley?" I asked quietly, "I want you to experience the intimacy that can be shared with someone else."

"I need a clean room, Shepard. Something completely sterile. I can do things for myself beforehand, but to take off my suit, I need to be somewhere no germs can attack me."

"What about the Citadel? Can anywhere cater to your needs there?"

"I'm sure there are plenty of places but most won't deal with quarians."

"So I'll sort it out for you."

She did a double take again. "You're serious? You'll do that for us?"

"I want you to enjoy yourself, Tali, and you've made it clear you fancy Ashley, and I think you've also made it clear that she fancies you in return."

"I do, and she does," Tali whispered.

"Well, then I'm only doing a good thing by helping out. So I'll start looking and sending messages, and will let you know where you can go next time we're on the Citadel."

"Would you like to join us? You can just watch and, if you're interest..."

"I'll think about it, but I do that, I'll end up with both of you."

Tali giggled. "I don't think either of us will complain about that, Shepard."

Laughing to myself, I headed out and back up to the mess, noticing Alenko and Ashley chatting away as they enjoyed a coffee break. Chakwas was deep in conversation with Benezia, Liara likely in her office to the rear. As everyone was busy and I didn't want to bother anyone, I headed back to my quarters, opening up my personal workstation. Flicking through the messages, I felt he smile form immediately as I noticed one arrive from someone on Noveria. Opening the message, it wasn't long but it was enough to make me probably grin like a love-struck fool. I didn't waste any time responding, writing quite a lengthy message before I replied back. All I did know is that I missed her terribly, and despite my hopes, it would be unlikely I'd return any time soon.

Gianna wasn't the only one to send me a message. Natasha Ross sent me the occasional email, apparently happy working with the Alliance in one of their sub-divisions. Couldn't tell me what she was up to, but she was forever thankful for the letter of recommendation I'd given her. Emily was always asking about when I'd next be on the Citadel, eager to meet up. And Helena had sent me one message, simply thanking me for believing in her. Not sure what she was doing now, but she was glad to have moved on with her life.

Lying back on my bed after joining everyone else for dinner earlier, I found my mind going over what Wrex has said earlier. I guess I could just give into desire and fuck every woman on the ship who wanted me, but I was sure that would affect how the ship would otherwise operate. And it wasn't that I didn't trust them. I honestly didn't trust myself. I could be their friend, their confidant, but their lover? I just felt that was too big a leap. I'd slept with Shiala a couple of times but hadn't done so at all recently, and she was already aware that I was putting distance between us. Don't get me wrong, I really liked her but... It was best for both of us. So I thought...

*****

We were in orbit around a planet by the name of Nepheron. The Alliance had put in hours upon hours of investigative work into the leads Admiral Kohaku had found, and they'd come up with this planet. Whether this was the central base of operations for Cerberus or not, I wasn't sure. All I did know is that the Alliance was adamant Cerberus did have an operations base on the planet, and I had absolutely control over what to do with it. Far as I was concerned, I was going to slaughter everyone inside then blow it up.

Everyone was on the ground for this one, and they all had their orders. No prisoners. No surrender. Anyone wearing a Cerberus symbol was a target. Floating in orbit, we could see there was nothing redeeming about the planet below us. Little wonder Cerberus had built such a base on it. No chance of any colonists showing up, messing up whatever they planned.

"Any last orders, Commander?" Alenko asked before we boarded the Mako.

"To be honest, no. You all know your jobs and requirements. Do not hesitate putting anyone you see in that uniform down. I don't care if they are armed or not. Anyone disagree with that?" I looked across them all. Everyone met my eyes and nodded. "Good. That's what I like to see. Load up, Joker will give us the call soon."

We landed on Nepheron a couple of minutes later, immediately putting the Mako into drive. We'd located the facility during one of our sweeps. We had no doubt that Cerberus knew we were coming, and we would have known, and seen, if they'd tried to escape. Cresting a large hill, the Cerberus facility appeared ahead. It was enormous, and clearly a major hub of their operations. Quite frankly, the only thing missing was a vessel at what looked like a starport.

"Garrus, start firing at anything that looks like it'll blow up. Once we're in position, the rest of us will exit and start shooting. Remember, no prisoners."

"Aye, sir," or "Yes, Shepard," echoed in the Mako.

Garrus was having a great time, firing the cannon at things that exploded, the machine gun working overtime as he shot anything capable of running or retuning fire. Once I figured we were close enough, I brought the Mako to a halt and ordered everyone to get out. There were no particular orders except not to get dead. I simply raised my assault rifle and looked for my first kill. Within seconds, my assault rifle was firing, finding one, two, then three targets in quick succession. Cerberus was dug in and ready for our assault. But they didn't expect a trio of asari, as even Benezia was on the ground with us, trusting her to join us for this at least, while no-one expected a big, angry krogan. I laughed away as I noticed him haul one Cerberus soldier out of cover and practically slam him into the ground over and over. No-one dared approach Wrex until Tali cautiously approached, suggested there were others to kill. Wrex simply laughed, dropped the body, and ran towards his next victim.

It took a while to wipe out the opposition above ground, and by the time we were done, fires had broken out everywhere, alarms continued to ring, and there was no doubt Cerberus knew we were there. We found the entrance into the facility below ground, Tali managed to hack and open the large gate. Soon as it opened, we came under fire from those inside. That's when those with tech ability and biotics proved their worth, while Ashley and I simply hurled a few grenades forward. After plenty of detonations, the lights now flickering, I led the way, remaining cautious, putting bullets into anyone who somehow survived.

Making it to what I assume was the main door leading into the facility, I called Alenko forward. "Remember the plan, LT?"

"Aye, Commander."

"Take your team, move right. Clear each room. Run into difficulty, call it in, we'll come running, but from everyone we've learned, this place is huge and will need two teams to sweep it clean."

"At your go, Commander."

Opening the door, I led the way in, the lights having been dimmed, emergency lighting now having taken effect. That didn't both any of us, gesturing for Alenko to move with his team, as I took my team to the left. We were methodical and cautious, clearing out each room we found. Some were empty, others had either people which we shot, or databases and workstations we could hack. I'm sure we shot some people who could be considered 'innocents', but as far as I was concerned, if you were within the base, you were an enemy combatant. I'd seen what Cerberus has already done.

Despite all the bodies we left above ground, Cerberus did put up a fight, eventually sending plenty of people forward, the corridors turning into a bloodbath. Explosions rocked the facility, the gunfire was incessant, near deafening at times. And the screams as troops fell to the ground, trying to stem the bleeding or keep their guts from spilling out. As we moved forward, I wasn't the only one to execute those that were still alive before moving to the next room or corridor. More than once, I heard the shotgun of Tali behind me explode, while Benezia took joy in using her biotics in doing rather unspeakable things to those who wore that symbol. At any other time, I'd have said something, but when it came to Cerberus, after everything we'd learned and discovered, I found myself not caring one little bit.