Master Yoshi

Carrie interrupted before I could say anything, "The same answer applies, Kevin, I'm asking, too. Will you marry us? We promise to Obey You. Obey, Joanie?"

"Obey."

The weight of this question piled on me, but it kind of flowed through me as well, filling up a spot, sort of.

Suddenly, I realized the thing I'd said to Carrie after we tripped on each other that morning was important.

It played over in my head like it was on a soundtrack, in Japanese, my voice repeating the words.

I'd said, "I hope her suffering equals her joy, too... in a good way. I hope her joy can at least break-even. I'd love to help that happen. I'd love to love her, all... her... parts... Just look at that butt." I had meant it.

My entire force of will was bound to that statement. I'd made a promise in it, and Someone, the Universe, maybe, HEARD me. All her parts, must include her half-sister Joanie. They were bound together, for sure, based on what they were saying.

I knew, if I tried to say no, to say anything but yes, I would be causing them harm, endangering them, making them suffer.

If I made them suffer, they would get joy from me suffering, even more. All their problems would come down on my head. Their whole set of complicated lives had come crashing down on the shoreline of ME.

There was only one answer. "Yes. I will marry you. Marry you both. I'm not sure how, but I will. Yes."

Joanie backed up and said to Carrie, but also to me, "This is not something you can take back."

Carrie said, "I take you, Kevin. I take you, Joanie. I agree. Joanie, say it."

"I take you, Kevin. Carrie. I agree."

Carrie said, "Joanie, burn the bridge."

I said, "What?"

She looked at me dismissively, "It's the name of the plan, Kevin. We're not actually burning any bridges. Metaphor."

"Oh."

"Kevin, back to pretend mode. You have to leave, carefree-looking, happy, but not too happy. We just planned an English assignment on Julius Caesar, that's our cover. Think as if that's what we did, body language wise. Go out the lane, down the road to the fork, and stop, there's a tree, pull off. Pretend to pee, in case the hills have eyes, and they might. There supposed to be a pair of bicycles underneath construction garbage bags behind that tree, get those out. We'll be running, literally sprinting, to you in about 10 minutes? If you don't wait for us, well..."

I interrupted, "I'll wait. You're coming back to my house?"

"Have to. No one can see us, though. Not for a day. Do you have to sneak us in?"

"Oh, no, walk through the front door. My sister and Tallia both work until 6."

"Good. Joanie, Go. Remember, dejected face, mildly irritated, nothing shows."

"Got it."

She put on a face that was exactly that, turned around, and walked back to the house, said something dismissive and sort of eye-roll to her mom, and went inside.

"So, I leave now?"

"One more minute." She changed her mood, obviously killing time. "So, are you playing in church tomorrow?"

"Yep. I'm usually there 8:15 ish to 10:30."

"Of course... Whatever. Time killed, check. Okay, put your notebook away, we'll say goodbye, formally, within earshot of her. I'm going to thank you for the ideas, and you'll thank me for my ideas, too. Fair?"

We did exactly that; gave and got a stiff wave from porch-lady Rachel and pushed my moped to the edge of the lane, started and zoomed off fast. If that moped hadn't started, the timing might have been off; I was glad I'd stuffed the kit in my backpack.

Their bikes were where they said they were - super-old and rusty rims and frame, but good tires and the chain was freshly greased. I pulled off the trash bags and set them up by the tree, ready to go, and waited.

They showed up a few minutes later at a fast run, with a small backpack each, climbed on the bikes I held for them, and we headed home.

It was Saturday, but the tractor factory was on extra shifts, so there was only one pickup left in front of the garage. It hadn't run in my entire lifetime. It didn't matter, it made the place look lived-in, and I was pretty sure that was the point.

I brought the bikes around the back of the woodpile and we decided to get inside and be better prepared.

They were breathing hard, and I knew Carrie had something important to say, but she'd been breathing and there just wasn't time.

They came inside and I gave them the tour and led them to my bedroom. I could see looks in their eyes, like they were planning something as we walked around. Carrie asked, "You say, your sister Tallia lives here with you? Or Jane?"

"Jane's my real sister. I'm not related to Tallia or any of the people in the other house, we're sort-of-adopted family."

On seeing the mess that was my room (not really that much of a mess, but I realized it was kind of cluttered with crap I didn't really need to look at anymore.

The clock said, 3:15 pm.

They were still wearing long black dresses; Joanie said, "Sir, may I change clothes?"

"Please don't call me sir? I'm Kevin at school, I'm not Sir here."

Carrie piped up. "Joanie's actually right. We have some rules, and stuff we decided a long time ago? So, for the moment, we kind of have to call you Sir. Sorry."

"Okay?"

She shrugged like it was out of her control, but hurried in her voice and Very Very worried as a look on her face. "There's a ton we have to tell you, but it can't be now, not ... yet? There are good, solid reasons? Just ... can you roll with it? There's gonna be some more stuff, small stuff, but you'll... see why."

I looked at her, at her face, her eyes like I could fall into them, the rest, I knew... "Okay, fine. I guess, yah, fine."

She and Joanie were opening their backpacks on my bed. "We HAVE to change. I will not wear this dress one more minute. I am NOT property!"

Puzzled, I said, "fine, I'll... just be in the kitchen, I didn't get ... I'm hungry. You need a shower?"

"Ohmygod yes." She looked at me, "You have hot water?"

"Duh, yes?"

She considered things, and took a long breath. "Right. Let's be logical here. What will they do. How long do we have."

Joanie said, "Depends if they know where we are. Did Rachel see it was Kevin? Does she know you?"

I shrugged, "I vaguely remember her from church, back when you were coming to ours. I'm pretty sure I met her at the Venner wedding last October."

Carrie swore, and she wasn't used to it. She said, "Damnation!"

Joanie looked at her, half undone with her socks and shoes. "Do I shower or not?"

"This changes things. If she does know you... She might get here faster than a day's delay, I thought... Well. That's a thing."

"What?"

"If she does, or if those trail cameras reach out to this road..." Carrie looked at me with a strong, serious look. "Do you have any firearms in the house?"

I was quick to say, "Not that I know of. My cousins do in the main house, though. They don't really even keep them locked..."

"We're going to shower and change, super-fast. Just to get the stink off, we have... Huh..."

She looked around, then took a deep breath and forced herself to be calm, but when she spoke again, her voice was so low and calm it was downright scary. "If you value your cousins' lives, and ours, I'd suggest two things. Call them home, _now_. This qualifies as an emergency, trust me. Tell them the truth - there's a vicious and mad drunk guy about to come over and shoot up the place, and murder you and your new fiancee. You can leave out the fact that there's two of us."

I blinked.

That's kind of what was going to happen. She was thinking faster than me.

Quickly, I grabbed my phone from my back pocket and pulled my room door closed so they could change in private, then went down the hall to the kitchen, out the door, and over towards the main house.

We normally left our yard dogs in an outdoor kennel, a high-fenced area, during the day, but it struck me if someone was coming over to do us harm, they might shoot the dogs, and the dogs deserved a chance to run away.

The phone was ringing. I was calling Marta.

Marta had a regular quilting group, but I knew they just gabbed all the time. Everyone had more to do on Saturdays than during the week.

She answered, cheerfully. "Hey, Kevin."

I had to decide how to handle this. "Marta, I've got an Ultra Emergency, and it's not easy to explain. Can you get to somewhere alone for a minute?"

"Oh! My goodness, dear, sure, hold on..."

Her hispanic accent came through; I was pretty sure she was over at the neighbor's, that lady spoke Spanish and they were great friends. So, maybe not the quilting group.

"...Okay, Kevin, I'm in the bathroom, what's up? Are you okay? Is anyone hurt?"

"So, here's the situation. I... have a girlfriend now, I may not have mentioned it because it's kind of a secret thing? Kind of sudden, too? And, she's got a super, super, super jealous uncle, who's kind of been beating on her?"

There was a string of expletives from the phone.

"Yeah, he's kind of an angry drunk, and he has guns. And, it's pretty likely he found out about me and Carrie. Carrie's at our house right now. Since he defaults to beating up on Carrie's half-sister when Carrie's not there, yeah, Joanie's at our house, too."

More expletives.

"So, we figure he's coming over as soon as he wakes up and gets his hand unstuck from the floor. Carrie needed time, so she superglued his hand to the kitchen floor."

There was silence, then huge laughter, then, more expletives.

"I guess, I'm wondering, how do we defend the houses? The property?"

"Stay there. I'll be home in a minute, I'm running to the car." She had a set to her voice. "There's some people I need to call. Stay by your phone. See you soon."

She hung up.

I went into the main house and got the.22 rifle off the rack from over the door, chambered a round, made sure the safety was on, and was about to walk out the door. Inspired, I turned around and grabbed a box of.22 long's (ammo) and closed up the house again.

I didn't need to be in the mobile home. It'd give them safety if I defended another building, so if someone attacked, they'd think the girls were in there.

Propping the.22 up by the barn door, I stepped behind it partially, and watched as the dogs ran around, getting some nervous energy out after being in their dog run (small fenced yard near the main house).

The idea of letting them out suddenly seemed like a bad plan. They could run up to me and give away my position.

I was just about to go back to the mobile home when my cell phone buzzed. It was a text from Jake, my 2nd oldest cousin. He was 24 and a farm machinery mechanic, so pretty fit from lifting tractor tires or whatever, but not technically that bulky. You didn't mess with Jake, he had a way of calm, end-a-fight-fast without sweat, sorta thing.

His text said, "Get.22 from house. Get extra shells from closet. Get yourself, all others, to top floor of barn. Set up as sniper on upper floor. There in 12 minutes."

My other cousin, Mack (23 and working at the Harley store about a half-hour north), texted immediately after that, "Get.22 from house. Everyone 2 barn. How many to expect?"

I texted back, "1 man for pretty-sure. 2nd man maybe older. Possible two mothers." I hesitated, not knowing if he'd know what I meant, and said, "Stockholm syndrome for moms?"

Reply was "Gotcha'"

Just about then, Marta pulled in the yard. She had just been down the road.

I was almost in the mobile home, but I stopped and walked over to her, holding the gun carefully pointed precisely down. "Hey, Marta."

She ran up to me and gave me a big hug. "I'm so glad you're okay!"

Her hug was careful of the long gun, and she kissed me on the cheek, not something I was at all used to from her.

She said, "Who is where?"

I motioned for her to follow me to mobile home and tried to explain what had happened. I ended it in the kitchen with, "So, it's entirely possible, I'm engaged to be married to Carrie. I'm okay with that, if it helps things. Heck, I'm okay with both of them, I'd be moving up, but... I can't hold them to it. I do care about them a lot. I've known them both for... forever."

She kissed my cheek again and said, "You stay here, if they're in the shower. Watch out the front door. Remember the rules. Don't point unless you're gonna shoot, don't shoot unless you're gonna kill. Center of mass, don't stop until they're down. Remember Turkeys - shoot the one standing in back first."

I'd heard that before. We'd had shooting lessons / target practice before, against a mostly-sand hillside.

Still... Marta was telling me this?!?!

It boggled the mind.

I watched as Marta walked down the hall, calling loudly, "HELLO!?!? I'm Marta, I'm Kevin's Auntie? Can I come in or do you want to come out?"

There was some low talking and I waited.

About ten minutes passed, which is a long time waiting for danger, and I heard a car coming down our lane, then between our houses. It was Jake. He shouted to me, "Clear?"

I shouted back, "No one here yet, just you, Marta, me, and the girls, in here."

"I said the barn?"

"Working on it. They, uh... needed to change to more practical clothes."

"Gotcha. I'll get set up. We'll need video coverage of the yard, maybe your laptop? I'll get some firepower, and we can figure stuff out."

He walked into the house, quickly but very deliberately. It occurred to me that as much shit as he'd given me when I was younger, things had changed suddenly.

About ten minutes later, he came out wearing his hunting camo and carrying a 30-06 and two backpacks. He was relaxed but purposeful; the packs looked mainly empty but weighed down by something dense, and I was pretty sure it was ammo.

I went back to the mobile home and went in, calling out, "No sign yet."

As I came in, I saw Carrie and Joanie there, wearing normal school clothes - jeans, t-shirts, and some big hoodie sweatshirts from my closet.

Marta was at the sink filling up a big gallon-sized camping jug with water. She asked the girls, "Ready?"

"Yes, ma'am. Tell us where to be."

"Kevin, get your laptop. Can you have it record video for... maybe hours straight?"

"Sure, just stream it as a ..."

"Nevermind how. Set it up, top right of the picture window, get the yard in frame, if you can."

I got my laptop (I was going to anyway after Jake suggested it), set up the feed, starting a recorded livestream, and echoing it to the local hard drive. The external webcam I'd gotten (the internal one was fucked) came in Seriously Handy - I put it right where she wanted it.

The extension cord didn't reach, I had to get another one. Life can be freaky-dangerous-panic, but sometimes you just need to get an extension cord, and it takes as long as it takes.

Mack's souped-up Harley pulled in the lane, there was no mistaking that sound. He parked behind the barn, and Marta went out to talk with him.

We cleared out of the mobile home, headed over to the barn, and looked around the yard. I hadn't considered making it a fortified position before.

Just about then, Jane and Tallia drove in and parked right behind the main house, like there were people there, but came right over to us by the door to the barn.

Marta took over, I was amazed at her.

She looked at us, gathered around. "Listen up. Here's the situation. Kevin has rescued these two ladies from a domestic violence situation - drunk, dumb, and sovereign citizen idiot. Very conservative religious folk. He's mid-50's, not related to these women, but promised To them, and vice versa, Very Soon. Also VERY NOT consensual."

Her voice was hard, saying that, I could tell she had some undercurrent of rage that would turn into quiet, calm death if needs be.

They all nodded. Carrie hadn't mentioned that part.

"The father - long beard, agile though, is age 70's something. He has decided, they say, to re-own his daughters to the promised land if they don't Follow Divine Law and marry this Duke idiot. Might be some money involved. So. Situation Totally Fucked Up."

Marta didn't talk like this, I was confused. She was kind of gruff sometimes, but she'd not sworn much in my presence, maybe ever.

Looking at Carrie and Joanie, she said, "Girls. Boys need to see your arms. Pull off those sweatshirts a minute. No shame on you. You're good proper women, this is ... important."

Carrie was nervous but did so reasonably fast, Joanie went much slower, I was sure she was super-nervous and very proper.

Both of them had bruises all up and down on their arms and shoulders, black and blue and green ones that were almost healed. I knew bruises.

Mack and Jake nodded grimly and their lips went set thinly.

"Now boys. We have trail cameras, right? Should I call the sheriff before or after?"

Jake said, "If you call before, it will look like an ambush, and they might try to take the guns away, we'll be sitting ducks, we all die."

Marta inhaled and exhaled slowly. We were just inside the barn door. She looked at Carrie. "How long until they get here?"

Carrie answered that. "Can't know. Rachel, more I think about it, she knows Kevin, he plays piano and we used to go to your church, on the regular. Pretty sure they know where your house is, here. Duke's gonna wake up pissed, if Rachel doesn't try to calm him down. She might just rile him up, she's more bent than he is. God help us if Ferne comes along. She had some head problem once and she isn't right anymore."

Joanie said, "Mom saw us booking it out of the yard, I think. She couldn't catch us, though, and she doesn't have a car no more."

Carrie corrected her, "Any more"

"Right." Looking at Marta, she said formally, "Ma'am, anymore."

Marta wasn't getting what she wanted. "No, no.. I mean... best guess on when someone shows up?"

Joanie considered. "Dad was off at the Stilson's, some Church business, I think. He's sometimes a pastor over there, calls it a 'deacon' or something, I never knew what that meant."

Marta nodded.

"Sure he'll be here in the next hour, two tops. Might be they come in one pickup, maybe two. Might figure you're pushovers. Anyone who's not 'in the movement' is a pushover, or 'in league with evil', whatever. He's... got some racist thing going on. We had a nanny for a while, we're not that, but... your name is Ortiz, right?"

Mack turned to the girls. "Yeah. Ortiz. Your ... I think I know who your family is. We... really have to keep you visible, but behind a safety line. If they don't see you, they'll skedaddle and come back in the middle of the night and we're toast. We have to keep them here, that means you have to be visible, tempting - BUT SAFE. Then, we figure out what's going to happen or not, and whether they're going away or we have problems."

Marta said, "What if they do, come back middle of the night? You're right, If we don't...?"

Mack nodded. His mind had shifted to the practical. "I don't like this," and pointed over to a stack of 5 gallon buckets piled against the outside wall of the barn, upside down.

"We have to get those buckets, filled up with water, right here. Hose and garden-pump. Make a line of them behind my pickup, here, then a set of them in the truck bed. Curve around the front and back, but not visible from the main house, okay? Water is mostly bulletproof, you'll be safe behind it. We're not gonna let it get to that, but... Here is your 2nd line, if the first isn't safe, go back to the barn, there. Always have a next-place to go, but prefer to hunker down if you can."

They nodded.

"If you see their vehicle, run back to Right Here." He pointed down, the center of the behind-truck safety zone.

They had a plan, so they ran off with the empty buckets for the garden pump, the two house hoses, and the hand-pump under the ancient windmill. I didn't even know if that still worked (it did).