Meat Market

Her expression was contemplative. "Jane, you know that sometimes, even if you like something, even if you loved it at one point, it's okay if you don't love it anymore. And you know what you need to do then, even if it's scary. You were brave enough to leave and throw yourself into something new once. You're brave enough to do it again."

She hugged me, a big bearhug around the neck that left me gasping for air before she relented. Then, with a kiss on the cheek and a hurried goodbye, Jane grabbed her purse and all but ran out of the bar.

I smiled. It felt good to do a good deed. To be Double D one last time.

The old barman eyed me as I approached. "Hey, Roy, I need to close my tab."

He raised an eyebrow. "What tab?" I opened my mouth to speak, but he said, "See you around sometime, Sarah. But not too soon, okay?"

With a little nod and a melancholic smile, I left Roy's. It had been such a big part of my life for so long. Too long; I realized that now. Whatever happened with Darius, I needed to move on to the next thing.

Darius. My thoughts kept coming back to him. I knew that I wanted him. I thought I might love him. Even if I did, though, he hadn't called me in a week. He had things to work through; I understood that. Hell, I'd spent two years working through them one drink at a time. But I couldn't wait for him to figure it out. It wasn't fair to put that pressure on him, and it wasn't fair to leave myself in a holding pattern on the off chance that maybe I was the thing that finally got him to move on, too.

I had just resolved myself to my new "no pressure, no expectations, no waiting" mindset when he texted.

Can I come over tomorrow? Need to talk.

The next day was the last Sunday of the month. Visiting time with Carla.

Going to be in town?

I wasn't trying to be a jerk. It was honest surprise.

Yeah. Went early this week. So, can I come over?

Sure. I bit my lip, thinking, then sent,Free now, if you want.

A little desperate? No, a lot desperate. But there's no time like the present. If I was going to get my heart broken, I'd rather it be sooner than later. The same if... well, "no pressure, no expectations, no waiting," sure. But that didn't mean good things couldn't still happen.

Be there in fifteen minutes.

Shit. I was still dressed for the bar, and I smelled like booze and cigarettes. Just enough time to shower and throw on a t-shirt and some shorts. I wasn't waiting for him, after all. Why wouldn't I be dressed for bed? I dithered for a while longer, trying to decide if maybe I was being too casual, when there was a knock. Ratty sleepwear it was, then.

I opened the door, and I'd be lying if I said that my heart didn't skip a beat. I'd missed him, and I remembered our second kiss, the one that had hinted at so much more. "Hey, D."

That smile, my god. The brilliant white teeth and the way his nose crinkled and the joy that spread slowly across his face. "Hey, Sar. Thanks for... well, I'm glad you wanted to talk as soon as we could."

I stepped out of the doorway and motioned for him to enter. "Want something to drink?" He shook his head.

We sat on the couch, and he immediately turned to me. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have just... I needed to work through some things, but I was sure what I wanted ten minutes after I dropped you off. I just needed to..." He sighed. "I went to say goodbye to Carla."

"What?"

"I know, it's just... I know it's just her stone I'm talking to. But I needed to say goodbye to her. To let her know..." He chuckled. "When I go out there, I talk to her about the important things happening in my life. I realized, last time I went out there, that for the previous couple of months, all I was talking about was you." His gaze slid away from me. "I don't want to... regardless of what happens between us, I need to move on. You helped me realize that; not by any one thing, but just by being you." He turned his face back to mine. "But I do want--"

I was kissing him, deeply and passionately, a resumption of the kiss that had been interrupted on our pool not-date. He froze for a moment, then pulled me into his arms, crushed me to him as my hands roamed his back. I broke away for a second. "Yeah, me too." And then I was back again, devouring him. His tongue slid into my mouth as his bulge pressed up against me. I groaned as he became harder, pressed against me more insistently.

Gasping for air, I choked out, "Bed's more comfortable." It might have been too fast; maybe we should have gone out and had dates and made sure, but we'd already done all that; our dates had been going on for months, we just didn't call them that. I knew every name in his family, all his friends, his favorite and least favorite Muppets, all the things you really need to know about someone.

I didn't even get to stand. He just picked me up in his arms and carried me to my bedroom, pushing the door aside with his hip before unceremoniously dumping me on the bed. I laughed wickedly at this and beckoned him closer, pulling at the waist of his jeans as he approached. His body tumbled onto mine, and we became a mass of frantic limbs, tugging at clothing and working at buttons and zippers, all while trying to stay locked at the lips.

He sat up, when it finally became impossible to progress further without decoupling our mouths, and pulled his shirt off in one quick motion. "Fuck, D, you look so good." I struggled to undo his belt and zipper, finally rolling him over onto his back and straddling him. He yanked at my sleep shirt, and I obliged him, then let the sports bra follow it to the floor. The look on his face was everything to me; loving, lustful, adoring, tender. Darius leaned up and took one of my nipples in his mouth, sucking and gently biting, I sighed and moaned, then grabbed his shoulders and pushed him back onto the bed. "My turn."

I grinned down at my... friend? Lover? Boyfriend? Well, we'd figure out labels later. For now, he was the most gorgeous man I'd ever seen, and he was in my bed. And he was far too clothed. My hands flew as I undid his belt, opened his pants and tugged at the waistband. I peeled the clothes away from his skin, tugged them off of his legs and flung them aside, leaving a breathtaking work of art lounging on top of my covers.

He was beautiful. It was beautiful, that gorgeous cock that eclipsed any of the fantasies I'd had. It was long and thick. Uncut. And hard, so hard; it had been almost two years. My hand tentatively reached out, stroking up his thigh and to the shaft, taking it in my hand and squeezing gently. "Sarah..." He softly whispered my name as he watched me. There's a power in that feeling, of the rapt attention a man gives to someone touching him intimately..

"Shhh, lover. Just enjoy." I didn't need that power now, though. I just wanted to make this man, my man, feel loved. Cared for, in a way that no one had in a long time. I nuzzled the dark, heavy sac, drawing a gasp, then kissed and nibbled and licked my way up the shaft, delicate touches with lips and teeth and tongue to excite him. Precum was leaking from the slit by then, copious amounts of it. My poor man; I was glad I'd started here. I doubt he'd have lasted long otherwise.

His hips rose off the bed, half-involuntary, as I took that lovely glans in my mouth and began to suck gently at it, tickling the underside with my tongue. Darius was trying to restrain himself; I loved his gentle nature, the way he was so tentative to overstep the bounds of first our friendship and now our burgeoning love. But he didn't need to be; I was a big girl. His hands were gripping the sheet, trying to control himself. I took one and placed it on my head. "Sarah?"

My mouth descended down his shaft, taking him as far in as I could go, pubic hair tickling my nose. His hand tangled in my hair now, not trying to push me down further, but showing his preferences; guiding, not forcing. Good. Good. We understood each other. This was a gift I'd freely give, and he knew not to take more than what was offered. But I'd offer him a whole lot because of that.

I knew he was close before we began, and I wanted it. Wanted to be the first woman to make him cum in years, to feel him throb and thrust, unable to control himself. My head bobbed up and down along his shaft, moving and twisting, tongue giving new sensations with each pass. Both hands were in my hair now, tugging gently, trying so, so hard to not to ask for too much. I rewarded him by giving him everything. "Sarah! God, Sarah, I love--!" My mouth flooded with his cum, a geyser of it, more than I could swallow. I loved it. Loved him; I knew he might regret saying that when he was clear again, but I wouldn't.

When it was over, when he was gasping and spent, looking at me with both love and fear that, perhaps, he'd overstepped his invitation, I dabbed a bit of his spend from the corner of my mouth and sucked it from my fingers. "You taste so good, D." My face was a little smirk. "So, did you still want to talk?"

He laughed and pulled me up, kissing me deeply, unafraid of his own taste. Then, with a devilish grin, he rolled me onto my back and slid down. "Not 'talk,' per se." His fingers pulled at my shorts and underwear, pulling them down my long legs. I kicked them away as he kneeled between my legs, Cheshire grin plastered across his face.

His head bent low as he kissed my thigh, just above my knee. The skin became gooseflesh, and Darius chuckled, low and almost sinister. "Do you know how long I've wanted this?" His kisses moved higher, just below my labia. "How long I've wanted to be invited into your bedroom?" They moved past their target and onto my hip, and I whined slightly. He repeated my words back to me, "Shhh, lover. Just enjoy," leading me to pout and him to laugh in response. Then I felt his hot breath on my mons, and then... and then...

It was indescribable. Every part of my body felt like it was on fire, every nerve ending seared. His mouth was magical, finding the most intimate parts of me and exploring them fully. He was perfect, easily the best I'd ever had. As I came close to orgasm, he would slow down, or move his focus, edging me over and over until I begged for release. His low, evil chuckles became another source of stimulation, the vibration adding an additional dimension to the sensations his tongue and lips provided. He withdrew for just a moment; my breath caught as he said, "I love you, Sarah." And then he dove in again, masterfully working my clit.

My body tensed and my voice was stilled for agonizing seconds. Then I exploded, moaning and calling his name as I thrashed uncontrollably. His strong hands held me in place as I gripped his head in turn with my hands and highs, pushing him against me, sobbing his name. "Fuck, D! Fuck, I love you! Oh, god, Darius!"

He was masterful, as I said, but also just a touch too greedy. I was very overstimulated after a time. It hadn't been as long for me as it had been for him, but the anticipation and his skill combined to turn my body into a live wire. I twitched and grunted, finally having to tug on one of his dreads to pull his head up. My handsome lover grinned at me from between my thighs, lips and chin soaked with my juices. "Too much?" Bastard. He knew what he was doing. I pulled again, and he ascended my body, kissing his way up until he lay next to me. Our lips met, and I tasted myself on his for the first time.

We lay together for a little while, stealing little kisses and lazily stroking each others' body, exploring with fingers now that our need had been temporarily sated. There would be more, and very soon, but there was so much I wanted to say first. "Did you... I meant what I said. It wasn't just... I do love you, Darius. I really do."

He kissed me softly, a gentle, reassuring pressure. "Yes. Yes, every word, Sarah. I love you. I just..." He sighed. "I needed to... I had to square things. I couldn't be more than friends until I was sure I could be more than friends. Does that make sense? Without... I loved Carla. Love Carla. And you aren't replacing her, I know. You aren't trying to. But I had to make sure that I could... could put my love for her in a place where I could give you the love you deserve. Where you could be first in my heart, even if she was still there, too.."

I stroked his face. "Oh, D. I get it. I do. And..." I looked at his sweet, earnest face. "I... I love that you... You didn't try to rescue me. Haven't tried to. But..." I kissed him again. "But you made me feel safe enough to rescue myself. To move on from something that wasn't working for me anymore."

We lay quietly, me spooned against his side and his arm around me, just thinking about and being present with each other. And then it came. The intrusive thought that I knew wasn't going to go away. I tried to. I willed and willed and willed it to get out of my head. Darius felt me tense up and looked down at me. "Sarah?" Then he saw the look on my face and laughed. "Go ahead. I know you want to say it."

I quietly muttered, "Cunning linguist."

He laughed even harder. "That's it? Not even going to try for a joke? No Bond girl quips?"

I lightly smacked his chest. "Jerk."

The handsome devil rolled over on top of me. "Ah, it's okay. I know you just want the D anyways." He waggled his eyebrows at me and I groaned in pain at the horrible pun.

Then I groaned again, eyes closed, as he entered me, his thick cock pushing its way past my lips and inside, stretching me gently. "Oh, oh fuck, Darius!" My beautiful man kissed me softly as his length slid into me for the first time; my fingers tensed on his biceps, nails digging into the lovely dark skin. "Oh, god, D! So-- so fucking good!" It seemed to go on forever, and then he was inside me, fully inside me.

I looked up into his eyes, those gorgeous, dark, soulful eyes. They searched my expression, making sure that I was happy and not pained. I nodded quickly, and he began to move; it was sublime. We fit together like two pieces of a puzzle, our bodies entwining together as we made love for the first time. His breathing was ragged, and his eyes looked downwards, between us; I could tell he was trying to control himself again, as he had done when I took him in my mouth. "I-- oh, god, Sarah, I love you. I--"

I wanted this. Wanted to make love to him. But I wanted it later, not now. Right now... "D!" His eyes snapped back to mine. "I love you. It's okay, baby. I love you." Then, with a harder edge, "Now. Fuck. Me." My legs crossed around and forced him hard into me. Those dark, soulful eyes burned, a wildfire that wanted to consume the woman that lay beneath him. His hands grabbed mine, pinning them to the mattress.

"F-- fucking love you, Sarah!" His words came through gritted teeth as he began to piston in me faster and faster. "Need you. Need this. Needed-- oh fuck needed it-- for-- for so long!" My hips pushed up, granting him access, legs pulling hard as he shoved in, trying to meld our two bodies into one.

I moaned up at him, "Me-- oh god, oh god, D! I fucking love you! Want-- ah!" I felt my orgasm coming like a freight train. "Cum-- oh, god, Darius, fucking cum with me!" He became rougher, not in a cruel way, but a needful one. His desire wouldn't allow any gentleness, and I didn't want any right then. My body tried to arch off the mattress as I came, but he pinned me to it, pinned me and claimed me as his own climax took hold. I was filled to overflowing with molten heat, overcome and surrounded by his body and his groaning voice.

Afterwards, we laid together again, panting, sweaty and tired. But we both knew we weren't done yet. Before too long, we began again, and as we made love this time, actually made love, he looked into my eyes with a wonder and adoration I'd never experienced before. Richard had never truly loved me. My high school boyfriends only had a child's idea of what love was. But Darius, this beautiful, smart, kind, funny man loved me. Truly loved me. I looked into those eyes as my lover moved in me and saw words that I knew he wanted to speak, but that it was too soon to say. I looked into his eyes, and I saw forever.

A year went by, and there was a ring on my finger. Another year, and there was another ring, with a matching one on his. Two more years, and my belly swelled with our first child, a lovely little boy we'd call Marcus, after his departed father. Marcus was joined by Nicole two years later and Adrian a year after. Our marriage wasn't perfect; no one's is. But our family was happy, and loving, and everything that six year old Sarah had wanted. My fairytale might have had some detours, but I did finally get my happily ever after.