Meeting the Love of My Life, Again

I read once that the word 'fear' has two meanings: 'Face Everything And Rise' and 'Forget Everything And Run'. As much as I wanted to be inspired by this insight, the sound of the all too familiar voice calling my name put me into the second state.

"Lucy!" I heard him once again and turned my head. No, not a mirage, he was actually here, after three years, standing beside me in the small bakery aside from the main street of our hometown. I had less than a second to notice that his face didn't change at all before my body decided to act on it's initial instincts. I turned around on my heels and ran out, the reason why I was at the bakery in the first place completely forgotten. Out of the door, across the street and into the park - my legs moved on their own and it wasn't until I felt a grip on my upper arm that I came to a halt and looked around.

It was him again. Of course it was him again, only he would run after me after such a greeting. Neither of us said a word, but I felt him pulling on my arm and followed him. A small piece of my mind registered that he led me back to the bake shop while the rest of my mind wandered down the memory lane.

Anthony was my high school sweetheart and despite having formed a couple in our teen years we managed to stay together for over five years. Me and him shared our first ever date, our first kiss, our first moment of intimacy... We had many first times together and were always known as 'that one' couple in the most sweet way imaginable. Until he decided to go to college.

It was a year after we both finished high school, during a time when we tried to find ourselves and to decide on what to do with our lives. I landed a promising job in a big firm - even though I started out as a junior secretary, there were possibilities to walk up the career ladder. Anthony decided to continue his education and applied to a dozen colleges, but even though he was one of the best at our school he got accepted by only one. Sadly, this one college was two states away from home.

We tried, we really tried. We studied his future schedule up and down, we looked up every single bus connection between the states on every possible weekend and holiday, we even opened a savings account just to be able to pay for the future visits, we promised each other countless times to stay faithful and to master it together. But in the end I was the one who chickened out. I didn't know why, I didn't know what came upon me, but two days before Anthony's departure I broke up with him. I just couldn't stand the thought of being separated from him like this, so... so I separated myself from him in a more radical way. Talk about women's logic.

Over three years of absolutely no contact whatsoever and he was dragging me back to the little bakery. Once inside, he made me sit down at a table right next to the door and took place across from me. An endlessly long minute passed where I could feel his eyes on me but couldn't bring myself to look at him for more than a second. Finally, he mercifully broke the silence:

"Well? How are you, I guess?" I heard his voice, tainted with the lightest accent which origins neither of us could explain. "Found a good replacement for me?"

The last part stung, more than I wanted to admit. I knew that he wasn't a petty asshole, that he actually was the nicest person I ever met. But I also knew that once pushed over the edge he could become quite spiteful. Not that I didn't deserve it right now - when we broke up, things were said, other things were broken. It wasn't nice, not at all. And still, I felt a wave of anger rolling over me, but before I could answer we got interrupted by the lady from behind the counter who was now standing beside our table, a big package in her hands.

"Your wedding cake, Miss!" she told me with a smile and placed the package on the table between me and Anthony. "My congratulations!" she added and walked away.

If the situation was awkward before, now it became painfully unpleasant. Yes, I met someone two years after Anthony left the town - in fact, my girlfriends forced me to go on dates until I met Jonathan. A year later he proposed to me and I said 'yes'. Tomorrow was our wedding. And today, of all days, I met my ex boyfriend.

But unpleasant or not, my anger was still there and so I got up to my feet while rummaging in my purse. I fished out a single thin piece of white cardboard and threw it on the table. On it, in golden letters, an invitation to the wedding of me and Jonathan was printed, along with the time and location.

"Yes, I did." I said in the coldest voice I could muster. "Come and see for yourself tomorrow." and with those words I grabbed the cake and left the bake shop, feeling at least some satisfaction from having the last word.

The rest of the day was a drag. The bachelorette party this evening was far less fun than expected and I knew that I only had to blame myself for that. My mood didn't improve in the slightest since the meeting that afternoon and as much as I tried to hide it my girlfriends caught on that something was wrong. The party died down before midnight and I didn't even bother with cleaning up the dishes before going to bed where I hoped to get at least some rest from my thoughts. Of course, I didn't have such luck and so I turned and tossed in bed, thinking about my life choices and about my immediate future. The results were less than just sad: my last thought before I finally drifted off to sleep was that I, in fact, did not love my fiancé.

***

The wedding ceremony was beautiful - at least that's what everyone told me. Thanks to the sleep deprivation from the previous night and my general inner state of mind I didn't get much of the whole affair, it all passed in some kind of blur. One thing I remembered was that after my hairdresser tried for one hour to make the perfect wedding hairdo for me I told her to just leave it open and curl it a tad. The small voice in my head telling me that this was exactly the way Anthony loved my hair back in the day surely didn't help at all. The other thing that stuck in my mind was me and Jonathan standing in front of the priest, telling each other our vows. I remembered a sudden urge to look to my right while he told just how much he loved me. I turned my head slightly and immediately turned back, for the sight of Anthony amidst the crowd was the last thing I expected. Why, why did he come?

After the official ceremony everyone was invited to the actual party. It was Jonathan's idea to rent a villa for the evening - I would've rather kept it small and quiet, but he insisted. The party itself wasn't in any way memorable for me - a bunch of people congratulating me and my now husband, a big pile of presents, everyone but me having a great time, gallons of alcohol. The alcohol was probably the thing that stuck out the most in my memory for Jonathan managed to get himself wasted, resulting in our first ever argument as husband and wife just half a day after getting married.

"Honey, maybe you have had enough for today?" I asked him quietly but still annoyed when he stumbled for the sixth time while trying to dance.

"Maybe you have to put that stick out of your ass, honey?" he replied with a drunken giggle and fell backwards down into the chair, his eyes closed. Good thing that the crowd around us wasn't sober either so no one gave a damn about us anymore - especially about me getting to my feet and storming out of the main hall towards one of the wings of the villa. I just needed a moment for myself and I was getting sick from being in the crowded room any longer.

I walked and walked in a random direction and eventually ended up in one of the many bedrooms. I closed the door, muffling the sound of music behind me, and walked over to the night drawer to turn the bedside lamp on. With a sigh I turned back and let out a short shriek.

"What the hell are you doing here?!" I asked Anthony who sat in the armchair beside the opposite wall, his face at least as surprised as mine.

"I could ask you the same." he replied. "Were you following me?"

"Of course I wasn't! Why would I follow you? Now leave me alone!" The whole situation was too much for me and I headed back for the door but Anthony got to his feet and blocked the way, positioning himself right in front of the door.

"Okay, no, wait!" he spoke and held his hands up in front of him. "Come on, since we're both here, we could at least talk. I mean, I do deserve some kind of closure, don't you think? Our last chat was kind of one-sided, if you remember," he reminded me of the day I broke up with him. I didn't dignify it with an answer, just crossed my arms in front of my chest, daggers shooting out of my eyes. Deep inside I knew that he was right, that the whole mess was my fault, but my pride didn't allow me to take even a step back.

"You know, I still think that you made a big mistake. All of this..." Anthony showed with his hands around him, "a single big mistake. No matter what you thought or still think, I wasn't going to cheat on you. In fact, do you know that I couldn't force myself to commit to anyone else since the day you left me? Oh, sure, I tried to date, but never went past the first one. Because no one could ever compare to you, because I knew that I would never be able to love someone like I loved you. Like I still love you!" his words were sweet, but his voice was tainted with anger, anger that was boiling inside of him for the past three years. I looked into his face, still as intelligent and nice as before, even though becoming more and more red the more he spoke.

"Oh poor you." I didn't want to. I didn't want to be this bitchy, but something inside me forced me to put on this defense mechanism. "Well, I dated. Quite a lot, in fact. I spread my legs for half the city, this is the kind of slut I am. You happy now?" I didn't know where the words came from, all I wanted was to hurt him, to make him suffer like I suffered right now - because I couldn't admit to myself that I still had feelings for him. Since I saw him yesterday I knew that my feelings weren't gone, just buried, and now they erupted.

I jerked as I saw Anthony's hand go up and towards my face, unmistakably to slap me, but in the last moment he just grabbed me by my shoulders. Before I could realize what was happening he pushed me against the wall near the door and for a second we just stood there, looking each other in the eyes - and I knew what was about to happen. Of course we had our fair share of arguments during our relationship and every one of them ended the same way: with wild, animalistic, primordial sex where we transformed our fury into pure passion and lust. Tonight was no exception. A blink of the eyes later Anthony's lips were glued to mine, kissing them hard and deep.

Nothing inside of me protested. Nothing. Instead of pushing him away I wrapped my hands around his neck and opened my mouth to kiss him back, to welcome his lips. There it was. The almost forgotten feeling of pure joy, of happiness, of love! I felt his lips wander from my lips to my cheeks, my jaw, my shoulders. Everywhere he could reach, he kissed me and I purred in delight, suffocating the piece of my mind that tried to remind me about my status as a married woman. Anthony's hands found the zipper on the back of my wedding dress and pulled it down before his warm fingers began to caress my nude back.

"We can't..." I tried to protest as he took both my hands and pinned them above my head to the wall. The fabric of the wedding dress slid down my chest and waist and I wiggled with my hips to help it get off me completely. I remained in just my heels and my wedding lingerie which was intended to be seen by my husband alone. It took me weeks searching for the perfect set, but eventually I found what I was looking for. Perfectly white stockings on my legs, a thin thong that covered just enough of my private parts and a supportive corsage that ended just beneath my firm B-cup and supported it - it was the perfect mix of innocent and slutty. And Anthony was now the first one, the only one, to see it.

After my dress went off he let go of my hands and began to caress my body, his fingers squeezed my flesh as if discovering it for the first time. Our bodies pressed together, I felt his arousal grow with my thigh through his pants. Soon his hands were on my shoulders again and he began to press down, the look in his eyes unmistakable. I knew what he intended to do and suddenly it made me angry again.

"Half the city, you say?" His voice was hoarse with lust and I saw devils dance in his eyes. "Well, then I suppose one more won't make any difference. Come on, show me that you're still as good at it as you were." Anthony wasn't asking, he was almost commanding me.

He kept pressing on my shoulders but I managed to wriggle out of his grip and slapped his face - not as hard as I probably should have. "You would like it, wouldn't you?! Forget about it, I won't suck you off just because you decided to come back after three years, I'm not that aroused to forget everything! Fuck off!" I shouted at him, a moment of clarity in my head.

Anthony pressed me against the wall again, a smirk on his lips. "Whom are you trying to kid, Lucy? I know when you are aroused, I can see it in your eyes! You didn't change at all, you want it as much as I want it!" this time, his hand wandered straight down to my panties and he pressed his fingers against my crotch. A moan escaped my lips, betraying my feelings. "I know all about you, about your body," his tone wasn't malicious but confident, the tone of a man who was in charge. "And I know that you are now more aroused from my fingers than you ever were with your... husband," he spit out the last word and kept pressing against my bottom lips, forcing another moan out of me.

"Mmhmm... Fuck... Anthony... What are you doing? You know that this is wrong? That we won't be able to stop if we do it?" I whimpered as my legs began to shake. He truly knew which buttons to push and I could feel how the rests of my resistance crumbled away with every second.

"I don't want to stop. I want you. I need you. You are mine - today and forever. Never forget that!" he whispered hotly into my ear and pulled my panties up. The front piece of fabric stretched and disappeared between my labia.

I couldn't resist any longer. Kissing him one more time, I stretched my arm out until my fingers found the door lock and shut it close. The 'click' of the lock announced the complete fall of whatever resistance I still had and I stopped pretending. With one leg on Anthony's hip, I took his face into my hands and kept kissing him while his hand pulled my panties aside and he caressed my open sex, spreading it's wetness all over my crotch area.

"I hate you... hate you so very much..." I told him.

"I hate you just as much." he replied and pushed two of his fingers inside of me. He used them as a hook and moved them up, forcing me to go on my tiptoes. Even though our last time together was years ago he still found my special spots in a matter of seconds and kept pressing them, just like he did all the times before. I remembered how determined he was when we first started to get intimate and how he meticulously studied my body. He learned what made me feel good, where to press and what to do at different stages of sex and he became good at it. More than just good. Sometimes it felt like he would know my body better than I did. Just like now - a gentle push here, a light come-hither-motion with the fingers there and I was like wax in his hands.

Completely sunken in the euphoria of the moment I began to fumble with his tie until it went flying across the room, followed by his jacket. Just when I was about to open the buttons of his shirt Anthony picked me up by my hips, carried me over to the bed and we both fell down onto the silky sheets. It wasn't the bed I was supposed to spend my wedding night in, it wasn't the man I was supposed to spend it with, but I wouldn't change it for the world right now. Our both breaths shaky, me and Anthony rolled around the bed, ripping the clothes off from each other's bodies until he remained completely nude and I had nothing but my stockings on.

Nude body pressed against nude body, I realized that I didn't feel this happy in the past three years and I eagerly rolled over on my back as he began to climb on top of me. Anthony took my left hand into his and determinedly took my wedding ring off. He threw it behind his back and I heard it roll on the floor - the sound was like chains falling down from my hands.

"Tell me what you want. Tell me!" His voice was just as loving and caring as during our relationship, but there was still the dominant streak that I adored so much.

"I.. I want you! I want you to take me. To fuck me!" I almost screamed and spread my legs to place my feet on his hips.

I didn't have to ask twice. As soon as the words left my mouth Anthony's hips moved down and after some moments the tip of his member began to spread my bottom lips. I let out a prolonged moan while he worked his way inside me. It was just like I remembered it. Every little bump and vein, I could feel them all as he filled me out. It was as if a key was finally inside the lock it belonged to, our both sexes were a perfect fit and I saw in his face that he felt just as good as I did.

"Fuck me! Fuck me, Anthony, take me on my wedding night!" The lust clouded my mind and I couldn't control the words that were coming out of my mouth. "I'm yours, I'll always be yours! I missed you so much, I missed your touch, I missed the nights with you!"

Anthony began to move his hips and I felt like reality around me started to melt. If there was a Heaven, I was there at that moment, moaning and clawing on his back in ecstasy. My breasts shook with each thrust of his body. I arched my back to give him a better look at them and he grabbed the left one with his right hand, squeezing it just the way I remembered it.

I didn't know how long we spent like this, whether it were some minutes or some hours, and I couldn't care less. All that counted was the feeling of Anthony's body on top of mine, his face looking into mine with the same love and affection as during our first time together. At some point, his movements became irregular and more forceful and I knew what that meant.

"Come on, baby... Come on, cum in me... Please, fill me!" I almost begged him while a hot ball of pleasure began to grow in my underbelly. Anthony couldn't reply, he was in no state to say anything beside grunts and moans. "Yes, like that... Oh yes, oh my god, it feels so good... Yes... yes... Oh my god, I love you!" I shrieked while Anthony did a final thrust with his hips and a hot load of cum shot out of his cock. The warmth deep inside me sent me over the edge as well and the glowing hot ball of satisfaction exploded. I closed my arms and legs tightly around my lover and kept him in place while we both climaxed, both out moans melting together into a symphony of lust.

Even after we both finished and our bodies stopped twitching, we stayed as we were, with him on top of me, his lips kissing my neck. I kept caressing his body until he finally rolled over from me. I let out another small moan as his member escaped my honey pot and looked into his face, into those blue eyes that I never stopped loving.

"Do you want to run away?" Anthony asked me after several minutes of quietness while we caught our breaths.

"Yes." I didn't think about the answer for even a moment. "Yes, let's run away."