Memoirs of a Swinger Ep. 35

This is the thirty-fifth episode of my unreliable memoirs recounting sexual encounters in the nineteen eighties. Each episode is self-contained, so you can read them without having read the previous ones.

There is no sex in this episode whatsoever (hence the category). It just tells a story and wraps up a phase in Stephen and Lesley's life (which will then lead on to new things). This episode is an adventure though and an attempt by me to tell it.

I hope you enjoy it.

M4bloke

*******************************************************************************

The Road to Annecy

I'd got up at around four a.m. and, after kissing Lesley goodbye, headed for the port of Dover. Before boarding the ferry I filled the rented Ford van with diesel, keen to make sure I didn't waste any time once in I was in France. When I went to pay in the kiosk I saw a copy of 'Penthouse' on the magazine rack. Flicking through it I soon found our friend Sally's photoshoot, so I picked up two copies and paid for them with my fuel.

The Dover to Calais ferry took a couple of hours to make its way across the English Channel. The sea was choppy and there were more than a few green faces among the passengers. Fortunately, the rocking of the boat and the low vibration of the engines didn't affect me, so I went and had a big cooked breakfast then changed some money into French Francs at the on-board 'bureau de change'.

It took around ten hours from disembarking to get to Annecy from Calais. Everything looked very grey as I drove the rental van through the flatlands of northern France. The rain came down as a light drizzle for most of the journey, but then it was late October. I'd made a similar journey on the motorbike back in June, when the days were bright and warm. It had felt like I was on holiday then. It didn't feel like that now.

I drove until the van needed refuelling, stopped for a snack and to stretch my legs then drove on, repeating the cycle until at around nine o'clock I made it to the house in Annecy where Poppy lived.

Kate had been listening out for me and she was at the front door by the time I'd locked up the van. We stood on the doorstep and hugged.

"You must be exhausted," she said.

"I'm fine," I told her. "How are you?"

"I'm good. Poppy and I have been having fun."

We walked into the living room of the house and sat down on the sofa.

"Do you know if Lesley and Daniel got to New York ok?" I asked.

"Daniel called from Heathrow before they boarded. He said the flight was on time. They should be there by now."

We heard footsteps on the stairs then Poppy appeared in her pyjamas. She squealed with delight then launched herself at me.

"Be careful Poppy," Kate said sounding like a mother. "Steven's very tired. He's had a long journey."

"Let me have a look at you," I told Poppy.

A lot of the inflammation along the line of the incision was gone now. There was still a slight redness but that would fade, leaving only the slightest of hair-lines. You could hardly see that a dog had ever bitten the child.

"You look so beautiful," I told her, which earned me a hug.

"Can I sleep with you and Kate tonight?" Poppy asked as she climbed into my lap.

I looked at Kate, who smiled.

"If Kate says yes then I guess so," I told her.

"But only tonight," Kate said trying to lay down the law. "And only if you go to bed now."

"Thank you Kate," Poppy said.

"Steven and I will be with you later."

Poppy bounced out of the room, telling us not to be late.

"I wasn't sure if we were allowed in the same bed," I said after Poppy had left.

"I wasn't either," Kate replied, "but Alice made a point of saying it was ok."

"I see."

"Have you eaten?" Kate asked me.

"Erm yes. I thought it was safest to," I said sounding a bit sarcastic.

"It's not my fault I can't cook," Kate replied, the absurdity of her own defence making her laugh.

"Come here," I told her, putting an arm around Kate's shoulders.

Kate snuggled into me and sighed.

"I've missed you all," she said. "I mean, being here with Poppy has been amazing and I'm so glad I came, but I've really missed Daniel and you and Lesley, and Suzy too."

"We're a team. We stick together."

"And we're going to grow old together."

"We are."

"So tell me. What's the big secret? Why have you driven all this way in a rental van?"

"It's not just a rental van," I said. "It's a rental van with a towing hitch."

"Is that important?"

"Yes, because on Monday morning I'm going to steal a car then tow it back to England."

Kate laughed then, when she realised it wasn't a joke, her face became serious.

"You've found Michael's Bentley haven't you?"

"Yes," I confirmed. "It wasn't me though. I've had a lot of help."

"Who from?"

"It's probably best not to say. Look, Daniel doesn't know anything about this. I thought it best not to tell him."

"And Lesley?"

"She knows as much as you do. But if everything goes to plan I'll be back in the UK by the time you fly back on Tuesday and it will all be over."

"I'm coming back with you."

"It's not necessary."

"I can help with the driving. It'll be much safer. You know how long a drive it is and that's without breaking and entering into somewhere first."

Kate did have a point and so I told her I'd think about it.

******************

When I woke up on Saturday morning, it was ten o'clock and I was alone in the bed. I could hear Kate and Poppy's voices downstairs so I got up and went to the bathroom. Catching my own reflection as I washed my face made me chuckle. I hadn't worn pyjamas since living at home with my parents.

Walking down the stairs I could hear laughter and the smell of cooking, or rather burning. In the kitchen, Kate was trying to scrape egg off a saucepan.

"I was trying to make you a cooked breakfast," she said apologetically.

"That's a nice thought," I said. "But what I really want is a good morning hug from the two of you."

Kate put the pan down and gave me a hug then I picked up Poppy and hugged her.

"Right. Let's get breakfast," I told her.

There is nothing better than a cooked breakfast, when it's cooked by somebody else. But in the absence of that then one you cook yourself comes pretty close. I wasn't the world's best cook by any means but three years at university had given me ample opportunity to perfect my 'fry up' technique. Pretty soon we had enough food on the table to satisfy three hungry mouths.

"So what are we doing today?" I asked.

"Well, we are going to the shops in Annecy to buy Poppy some new clothes and this evening you will be pleased to hear that Claude and his wife have invited us for dinner."

I looked at Poppy and said, "Phew, that's a relief. I thought Kate was going to try to cook again," which made Poppy laugh and resulted in Kate thumping me on the arm.

Since we had no other form of transport, I drove the van into Annecy with Kate and Poppy sitting on the front seats next to me. I guess that Kate had needed to wait until Alice wasn't around before she could take Poppy shopping. Alice could never have accepted Kate's generosity had she been present.

We started with school uniform and sports-wear then moved on to casual clothes and finally clothes for going out. Kate wanted to buy Poppy the best of everything but I tried to explain to her that Poppy didn't want to stand out, she wanted to fit in.

"I wanted to stand out when I was at school," Kate responded.

"Yes but you went to school with girls called Tabitha and Tara."

"You think I'm a snob, don't you?"

"You are a snob, Kate," I told her. "But you're a snob with a big heart."

"Thank you," Kate said giving me a hug.

"... and a great body," I whispered.

The van came in handy for the amount of clothes Kate bought Poppy and after we'd stashed them in the back we went in search of ice cream. It seems that children can eat ice cream at any time of the year, a skill which most adults seem to lose as they grow up. Poppy demolished her sundae while Kate and I did the best we could with ours.

It was getting dark by the time we got back to the house and Kate set about getting Poppy ready to go out. I hadn't realised how much effort children could be. Poppy was a delight yet she still needed to be guided through every stage of the preparation, grooming and dressing process and failure to do so resulted in her being distracted and going off to do something completely unrelated.

Poppy knew the way to Claude's house and expertly guided me in the van. When we arrived I think Claude and his wife were a little surprised by our mode of transport but made no comment.

Claude introduced his wife and teenage son and daughter to us and I thanked them for inviting us to eat with them.

"Steven was scared that Kate was going to cook for us," Poppy told them.

"Poppy!" Kate shrieked in surprise making Poppy snigger.

"It's true. I can't cook," Kate admitted. "But these two seem to be giving me a hard time about it today."

Claude appeared to have the perfect family. His wife, Lisette was an attractive woman who was also a schoolteacher, while his son and daughter had impeccable manners. I think that they must have viewed Kate and me as rather exotic creatures with an alien lifestyle but they were polite enough to keep their views to themselves.

When it was time to eat, we all sat down, but before the food got served up, Lisette asked, "Would you mind if we said grace?"

We all held hands and Claude thanked god for our good fortune. I felt a bit of a fraud saying 'Amen' at the end.

Lisette was a good cook and I was happy to accept a second helping when I was offered. Most of the time we chatted about Poppy and her operation and what she and Kate had been up to since returning to Annecy.

In the dining room, on a shelf above the fireplace was a framed picture of a much younger Claude being presented with a medal.

"Is that picture from your army days," Kate asked Claude after we'd finished our meal.

"Yes, it is," Claude responded. "I was a bit younger then."

"You'll have to excuse my husband," Lisette apologised. "He's not very good at talking about himself."

"We know somebody like that, don't we Steven?" Kate said sarcastically.

"Dad won the 'Honour Medal for Courage and Devotion'," Claude's son said proudly. Tell them about it Dad."

Claude thought about it and said.

"There isn't much to tell to be honest. As an army doctor I used to support training exercises. Because of my mountaineering experience I tried to volunteer for the ones that involved the chance of doing a bit of climbing when I was off duty. The army has a couple of mountain battalions called the Chasseurs Alpins and they used to run exercises throughout the year. This particular one was in the middle of winter with a bunch of relatively inexperienced recruits. As can happen in the Alps, the weather turned bad and a couple of the guys became detached from the rest of our group. They became disoriented, got lost and unfortunately one of them ended up falling off a ledge. His injuries were pretty severe. Fortunately we found them eventually but there was no possibility of evacuating the injured guy while the storm continued and because the recruits were so inexperienced we couldn't leave them on the mountain. So I volunteered to stay with the injured guy until they could send in a helicopter. Unfortunately it was two days before they were able to do that."

"Wow." I said.

"So I got my medal for sitting on my backside in a snow cave for two days," Claude joked.

"And if it hadn't been for you then that young man would have died," Lisette added. "He still sends us a Christmas card every year, thanking Claude."

"He does," Claude laughed then he added, "So since we are telling stories perhaps you'd like to tell us how you got that scar of yours, Steven. My son and I have both read David R. Ashton's version but what's the truth?"

"I'm not sure that it's suitable for Poppy," I told him.

"Of course, my mistake," Claude apologised and speaking to his daughter he said, "Amelie why don't you take Poppy into the sitting room and read with her."

If Amelie was disappointed not to be hearing my story she didn't show it and she and Poppy happily disappeared out of the room.

"Ok," I said. "It happened in the summer of 1983, just after I'd got engaged to Lesley. Thanks to Daniel and Kate, that is."

"Why was that?" Lisette asked.

"Daniel owed Steven a big favour," Kate interrupted. "He offered Steven pretty much anything he wanted in return, but the only thing Steven really wanted was Lesley. Steven was a student back then and he couldn't afford an engagement ring so we helped him out."

"Just like in the book, Dad," Claude's son added.

Claude chuckled.

"David R. Ashton and his wife Ruth gave me a summer job as their handyman," I continued. "They were in the process of buying a house in Provence that needed renovating and because David doesn't fly anywhere, Ruth asked me to accompany her, to give her some support when she spoke to the builders. Everything went well until the last night of our trip when we went out for a drink in Marseille before our flight home the next day. We turned down the wrong alley looking for a taxi and ended up being mugged."

"This is so like the book," Claude's son continued.

"There were two of them, they both had knives. I think they were probably on drugs. They wanted our wallets and Ruth's jewellery. Ruth tried to explain that her rings had sentimental value but they weren't interested. I told Ruth we should hand everything over but for some reason she couldn't get her rings off and the more she tried the more her fingers swelled. The longer it took the more edgy the guys became until one of them threatened to cut Ruth's fingers off."

"Oh my god," said Lisette rubbing her own fingers at the thought.

"When the guy went to grab her hand I had to hit him. Fortunately I connected and he went down. All I could do with the other guy was charge him into the wall of the alleyway and slam his head into it. I don't know if he'd intended to knife me or whether I'd just charged onto his blade, but the result was the same."

"That's so cool," Claude's son enthused. "Then did you break their skulls like in the book?"

"Patrice, that's enough," Lisette said chastising her son.

"I don't want you to think it was cool, Patrice. It's all too easy to get into a fight and it was stupid of us to have been in that alley late at night. I wasn't brave like your father. I just reacted. It's not the same thing. Your father volunteered to risk his own life to save someone else's. That's a real hero."

"Steven's right," Lisette told her son.

"But you did what you had to do to protect the people you care about," Claude said, trying to strike a sense of balance.

"Anyway, Ruth helped me to get to a main road and it wasn't long before the police arrived. I don't really remember much after that."

"Were you in hospital long?" Claude asked.

"Five days I think. It was like a hotel. Carole, Daniel's ex-wife, also lives in Provence and she took care of me while I was in hospital. Then, when I got back to the UK, Lesley and Kate looked after me in Nottingham."

"He was a good patient," Kate confirmed jovially.

"Can I see the scar?" Patrice asked. "And the tattoo."

"Patrice!" Lisette said, admonishing her son again.

"Sure, why not."

I unbuttoned my shirt up to show where the knife had gone in and come out then quickly showed Patrice the tattoo.

"That's so cool. And what about the other fights, the one when you first met your wife and the one where you saved your friend from being raped."

"Patrice that is enough, go and sit in the lounge with your sister and Polly, now."

Grudgingly, Patrice did as he was told.

"I'm sorry Steven," Lisette said apologising for her son.

"It's not a problem," I said. "To be honest I didn't realise they were in the book."

"You mean you've never read it?" Claude said, surprised.

"No, I haven't. David wrote the book for Lesley, not for me."

"I don't think I've ever seen you read a book," Kate added.

"Well, there is that as well."

Claude got up and poured everyone a cognac.

"Kate," he said when he sat down again. "Lisette and I want to thank you for what you've done for Poppy and Alice. It's not been easy for either of them since they came back from England. Your generosity has changed their life. I'm not just talking about the money for the operation. You've been a true friend to both of them."

"Thank you," said Kate. "I'm going to miss you all next week, I've had such an amazing time and everyone has made me so welcome. As for Poppy, well it will break my heart to leave her."

"I can believe that," Lisette said sympathetically.

"But the truth," Kate said squeezing my hand, "Is that I'm ready to go back to London now. I'm missing my husband and my friends. It sounds silly but we're like a little gang and I miss being a part of it. I know I'll be back here soon and I hope that you'll all come and visit in us London at some point, but it's time to go home."

"We understand," Claude told her.

If anyone had thought that Poppy would be sleeping anywhere else than in our bed that night then they were deceiving themselves. It wasn't what I'd been hoping for but seeing Kate and Poppy lying there asleep I understood why.

******************

Grand Theft Auto

On Sunday afternoon I caught a train from Annecy to the town of Evian on the shores of Lake Geneva (or Lac Leman as the French call it). It took a couple of hours but the scenery was magnificent. From the station I took a taxi to a hotel just out of town. It was late October and many of the hotels by the lake were shut. This one looked as if it had opened especially.

It was around four in the afternoon when I arrived and Stefan Voigt was waiting for me along with Klaus and a group of four men and one woman all in their thirties. Growing up in the east end of London everyone knew the crews who did bank jobs but these people looked nothing like them. They were smart, fit, professional.

There were no introductions, just acknowledgements as Stefan explained that I would be coming with them. Then we got down to business.

"The target is Gert Strang," Stefan began. "German by birth, but now a Swiss citizen. He and his wife have an eight year old daughter. All three will be on the property when we enter at six tomorrow morning. The first objective is to locate Mr. Strang and his family and secure them."

The group of five nodded and Stefan rolled out plans of the villa for everyone to see.

"After that I need two people to look after the wife and daughter and one to watch for any unexpected visitors. The other two are to locate this car," Stefan said showing a photo of the Bentley. "It should be in the basement. Once you've found it, get it onto a trailer and hitched to the van. We believe there are a number of other high value cars on the property. I want them all photographed and serial numbers taken. Remember, masks and gloves at all times, no fingerprints."

The group of five all nodded again and Stefan continued.

"The three of us will deal with Mr. Strang," Stefan said, indicating Klaus and myself. "We could be there for an hour, so be prepared for this."

"Will they be armed?" asked one of the men.

"There are guns on the property, so it's possible but unlikely. We go in with our weapons drawn, but for show. I don't want any shooting unless you come under direct fire."

We spent the next hour discussing the details then the meeting broke up with instructions to meet at 0400 hrs the next morning. There was a smell of cooking from the kitchens and I was feeling hungry but Stefan suggested the two of us ate alone in Evian. We drove in his rented car to a nondescript restaurant overlooking the lake which, on a Sunday evening, had only a handful of diners in it.