Mending a Broken Heart

Watching my wife blossom, during her pregnancy, she just had a glow about her. If anyone was suited to be a mommy, it was my Angie. Yes, she finally agreed to let me call her Angie.

It just so happens, one of my all time favorite songs was Angie, by The Rolling Stones, Mick Jagger's ode to fucking David Bowie's then wife, Angela Bowie.

At our appointment going into our ninth, and final month, our OB/GYN decided it was time for Sandy and Wendy Collins to join our family. She knew they were both around 5 pounds, and seemed to be doing well. Her decision was based on the minimum of distress on Angie's heart.

Off we went, to finally meet our daughters. We knew Sandra would be the first, named for Angie's grandmother, and Wendy after my grandmother.

I was sitting at the head of the operating table, holding my wife's hand when we both heard the greatest sound on earth. The cry of a newborn baby. Ours! 5 pounds 4 ounces, 17.5 inches long with just a hint of light brown hair, just like mommy. Just over three minutes later, more crying. 5 pounds 7 ounces and 18 inches on the dot. Nearly the same hair color, but just a bit more of it.

As Wendy was being cared for, Sandy was placed in my arms for both of us to admire. Her little face staring up at me, with her bright blue eyes shining up at me.

"Sandy, that beautiful lady there, is your mommy, and your little sister is the one making all that noise, over there."

"Daddy, do you have room to hold them both?" the head nurse asked.

What a silly question, I answered.

Holding both of them, letting the nurses snap a few pictures on my phone, as Angie was being closed up, I noticed her grinning, along with a few tears.

"We did it, Glenn," she whispered.

"Yes, we did, but you did the heavy lifting," I replied.

Finally getting to sit up, just enough to hold our daughters, one at a time, I snapped a few more pictures to send to my parents.

The nurses being pros at this stuff, put two different shades of pink hats on our girls, to tell them apart. They said they looked identical, but we both thought we could tell them apart. Sandy had a different grin than Wendy, who always seemed more serious.

About 45 minutes later my girls were wheeled out, to be met by their other grandparents, much to their delight. We both could tell just how happy they both were, even before they spoke a word.

Two days later, we all got to go home, to truly start our new adventure.

In the best way possible, Angie's recovery was amazing. She was up, walking that afternoon, after delivery, and she was starting to be able to nurse, as soon as the doctor told us it was OK.

Just see each girl nursing, one at a time, brought tears to our eyes.

The first night at home, we already had our plan in place for their feedings. I would bring one cutie in to feed, while changing the other adorable cutie. This gave mommy time to adjust, and me some extra bonding time.

Two weeks after our daughters were born, my folks came for their first visit. Greeting mom at the door, I asked where my pop was.

"Oh, you know Gyro Gearloose couldn't come empty handed, Glenn."

For the uninformed, Gyro Gearloose first appeared in a 1952 Donald Duck cartoon.

Going our to see what dad brought, I was stunned to see what he had in the back of his truck. I helped him unload his latest creation. It was a motorized cart, so if I wanted to go running, pushing our daughters in a double stroller, Angie could motor right along with us.

When my wife came to the door, and saw her 'ride' she just threw her arms around his neck, saying, "I couldn't have asked for a nicer father-in-law in the world."

Settling in, my mom told me she could see the difference in the two, with their grins being a bit different. I'd sent them enough pictures, she knew which one was which. She just couldn't get enough of her granddaughters. Dad, being dad, just sat with this grin on his face, telling us both, they would be track stars.

We both decided to wait a while before trying out my jogging with the double stroller, we already had. We did, however try out dad's invention, much to our delight. It even had a headlight, plus running on a lawnmower engine.

I guess this meant I'd be getting my exercise with my entire family. With both girls growing by leaps and bounds, our exercise routine was going great guns.

At the girl's six month checkup, they were examined by the top child cardiologist in the area and given a very clean bill of health. To say we were relieved, was an understatement.

With my job doing very well, and Angie just sticking with tutoring, we started do a bit of remodeling in our house, knowing we were more than satisfied with the size, but needed new appliances.

Just before our girls were going to start kindergarten, we were notified of Angie's 10 year high school reunion. Her folks couldn't volunteer to baby sit fast enough, so we decided to attend.

Even though I didn't attend her school, some of the people there knew who I was, from my track exploits. There was a feature done by a local TV station, telling about my return to the track for the upcoming national championship.

As with most every class reunion, there were nice people, and some not so nice people. We soon knew who to avoid. All in all, we did have a great time catching up with her friends, and showing off our kids pictures.

With both girls in school, Angie started helping out at school, as they definitely appreciated a school teacher's help, anytime it was offered.

Both girls were doing great in school, and both enjoyed running, I think it was because they could beat some of the boys.

As they were entering the third grade, our lives changed, dramatically. One afternoon, just before I was ready to leave work, the girls called and told me mom wasn't feeling very well. We had taught them all about mom's heart issues, and how to utilize the 9-11 system.

I calmly told them to call 9-11, and I'd be home, very soon. When I arrived, the paramedics were still treating my wife, who was awake, and in fairly good spirits, considering.

The EMT's both told me her EKG didn't look too good, but waited until the girls were out of ear shot. They also told me, her heart doc had been notified, and would meet us at the hospital.

As I was getting ready to leave, with my girls, Wendy, the more serious one, asked very quietly, "Is mommy going to die?"

"Not if her Doctor, or I have anything to say about it."

Her parents were already there, to watch over the girls, and about an hour later, her Doctor came out to give us an update.

"Right now, she's stable, and alert, but she needs a transplant. We've pushed her close to the top of the list, so there's a lot of hope."

She was kept for observation for two days, and we talked for hours about being close to the top of the transplant list.

Never once did either of us mention the possibility of not finding a donor.

We answered each and every question our girls asked, as honestly as we could.

These were the longest two days in history. By the second day, with her tests showing a bit of improvement, we almost started think the worst was behind us.

How wrong we were. With our girls at home, trying to stay positive, I was sitting next to her bed, when she took my hand, and very quietly told me she loved me, closed her eyes, forever.

Bells went off. Emergency nurses came running. Extreme measures were futile. She was gone.

I just sat there, numb. I didn't even hear the nurses telling me how sorry they were.

Finally, I made sure they had all the necessary information dealing with the funeral home, and I left to tell our daughters and in-laws she was gone.

Just walking into our house, both girls seemed to know, running into my arms, and crying their eyes out.

My in-laws just stood, watching. They were both numb. Nothing was said, because none of us knew what to say.

The next morning, with no sleep, I started making necessary calls. Arrangements were made. Plans moved forward. I was left totally numb. I had to think of how I was going to raise two little girls on my own. It was true that her parents were close by. Both brothers lived out of state. My parents were in as much shock as the rest of us.

Four days later, I tried putting on a brave face at her funeral. I failed, miserably. If it weren't for my parents, in-laws, brothers-in-law, and my sister, I couldn't have made it through the service.

Back at home, my mom and sister stayed with me two more days, before leaving me to deal with the mountains of paperwork.

Our girls returned to school for the final few weeks of the school year. I kept asking myself, what was I going to do with them during the summer.

It was very noticeable that my work was suffering, too, and my boss talked to me about taking some extra time off, to get all my shit together. This was the time that working for a truly wonderful company, paid off, in spades.

For the first few days after school let out, I just couldn't let my girls out of my sight. I just couldn't.

It must have been the end of the second week when they both came up to me and said, in the kindest terms, "dad, its time for you to go back to work. We're going to be OK!"

This coming from two soon to be fourth graders. For once, I listened to them.

Returning to work was difficult, at first, but as soon as I was given my first remodeling job, I threw myself into the task.

On my third day on this job, I heard this little voice saying, "Its about time our girls got you back to work, my love!"

I spent the rest of the week with a little smile on my face. Also, my tears came less frequently.

Over the following two plus years, our lives did improve. My girls were prospering, both in school and out. I helped them with their interest in running. Not competitively, but just to stay as healthy as possible.

As they were finishing the 5th grade, I realized they would be starting middle school in the fall, and I would soon have to deal with the 'other changes' in their lives. Yes, puberty. I remember with my sister, she was impossible to live with for months.

Over the past two years, they would talk about friends they had made, especially another set of twins, Jim and John Anderson. Nothing was said, except they were aware of their mother passing away, as their own mother was a classmate of Angies.

Getting all the necessary things girls needed to start middle school, we were at a local mall, my girls pointed out these two boys, saying they were their friends, Jim and John.

I was a bit surprised when I realized they were light skinned black. Their mother was with them, and I remembered her from both her reunion and her funeral. I was trying to remember her name, when she came up to me, and told me she was Dana Anderson. A light bulb went off in my head, remembering a certain David Anderson, also a track athlete, being killed by a drunk driver nearly five years ago.

To say Dana and Angela were different as night and day, was a given. Dana was maybe 5'1 or 2, and a bit on the heavy side. As we sat talking, our children just looked into different store windows, like kids of most age are want to do.

"You know, Glenn, when my boys started telling me about these twin girls, I knew before they told me their names, who they were. I just wanted to give you your space, before introducing myself."

"Thank you, and I do remember your David, as we met at different track meets." Even though he was a shot putter, I still interacted with him on several occasions.

"Forgive me if I'm out of line, Glenn, but could we have dinner, some time, without kids?"

"Do you mean, um, like a date?"

"I guess you'd call it a date, or something, I guess."

Wow, I could see she was almost as nervous as I was.

"OK, I guess we could do that."

Just then, her boys came up to us, and one of them asked if I might help him with his running, as he looked more like a sprinter than a distance man.

His eyes lit up when I told him I could. The other one, who looked more like a weight man, asked me for help, too, but I told him I could only suggest technique.

After this meeting, was I open to asking Dana on a date, even if it would only be dinner. To be determined.

All four kids started pressuring each of us. My girls started on me, saying in all seriousness, I should at least think about it. When I asked just how much they liked the boys, they thought I meant romantically.

"Oh, dad, not that way! They're just our friends."

They both told me it had nothing to with the color of their skin.

All I had left to do is decide when I wanted to take the first step, and ask such a nice lady if she would have dinner with me. Anything else would be determined at that time.

A date was made. I was sweating purple bullets, as our dinner date was nearing. I actually cringed when my girls actually told me, we weren't heading to bed right after dinner.

When I asked how they came up with that sort of comment, they informed me they were going on thirteen, and knew more about sex than I could imagine.

I just hid my face in my hands, and wondered if I could survive two teenagers.

Our dinner date was finally here. I must have thought of 15 or 20 reasons to cancel, but both my girls told me they'd disown me if I did.

At dinner, where I did actually enjoy myself, we talked about many things, but left our deceased spouses out of the main discussion. We talked about her job directing the medical records department in a large hospital system.

As we were finishing dessert, I did ask if she wanted to go to her 20th reunion with me.

"Are you 100% positive?" she asked.

"Well, at least 99%, I think."

Grinning, we left for a great unknown.

Getting to her house, I walked her to the door. As we arrived, she looked me in the eye, and told me she just couldn't invite me in.

I told her I fully understood, and after a soft hug, gave her a light, tender kiss. Then another.

"I'd better leave before we both do something we might regret in the morning."

Just a very friendly goodnight kiss, and I was off.

Tiptoeing into my house, I barely made it to my room, when my girls softly knocked on my door.

"Well?"

"Jeez, girls, I'm not the type to kiss and tell."

"Did you two have a good time?"

"As a matter if fact, it was better than good."

I thought I had Dear Abby and Ann Landers in my room. For the uninformed, they were advice columnists, who just happened to be twin sisters!

We actually had a few more dates, always ending with a bit more serious kissing, at her door.

As school was starting, we saw each other a bit less, except on weekends. When the weather cooperated, we would have a barbecue in our backyard.

After the third or fourth cookout, the four kids were watching some movie, leaving Dana and me sitting outside, just talking.

"I'm thinking out loud, but I want to ask if you and your boys would like to go to Disneyland, with us over Christmas break?"

"Seriously?"

"Yep, if you want to."

With a tear in her eyes she just fell into my arms, telling me that David and her were planning just such a trip, when he died.

Taking her face in both my hands, I gave her as deep a kiss as we ever had. My tongue did a little sword play with hers, as I moved one hand down to her breast. Even through her blouse and bra, I felt her nipple harden.

Just as we were getting into new area, we heard our patio slider open, and one of my girls wander outside.

Being a natural smart alec, Wendy says, "don't let me stop you two."

I was so embarrassed, I couldn't speak.

The following Saturday, our kids were busy, all day, giving us some alone time to finalize our vacation. As we booked hotel rooms, flights, ground transportation, and ticket packages, we just sat staring at each other.

Without saying a word, Dana stood up, lifted her shirt off, over her head, and turned to me, kissing me while holding on to both shoulders. I reached around and unhooked her bra, letting it fall to the floor.

Moving toward my bedroom, the rest of her clothes were removed, as well as all of mine. Leaning down, taking her large breast in my hand, while gently licking her growing nipple, we fell onto my bed.

Moving her onto her back, I took a condom out of my nightstand, and placed it where it needed to be. Moving between her open thighs, very slowly started pushing my sex into hers. Instantly, we began kissing each other as deeply as possible.

It had been so long for both of us, it was over in no time, flat. That being said, we were both grinning like silly teenagers.

"Wow, Glenn!"

"I agree."

"Do you think we should be dressed when the troops return?"

"I'm not sure about your boys, but my girls are getting way too curious."

"By the way, when did my girls learn so much about sex?"

"I'm not sure, but my boys are way behind them in that regard, thank goodness."

When our gang returned, my girls took one look at us, turned to each other and gave us a stern look, and a 'tsk, tsk' They both went up to Dana and gave her a big hug, much to our delight.

As we were eating dinner, all four kids couldn't stop talking about our upcoming trip, even though it was two months away.

Dana and I just stared at them, acting like they were one big happy family. Which we just might become.

Our trip was here. Getting our gang to the airport, was easy, deciding how much clothing wasn't. My girls thought they needed three dozen changes of clothes, for one week.

Dana sat with them, and suggested what was needed and what wasn't. When all was said and done, we had a nice manageable number of suitcases.

Off we went. None of the four kids had ever been on a plane, so they were staring out the window, the entire flight.

Getting to our hotel was easy, and making sure where everyone was sleeping proved to be easy. This was a two bedroom, two bath suite, with a pull out sofa the two boys would use.

We just couldn't contain them any longer, so off we went. We had mapped out where we would start, so there wasn't any discussion.

That first day, we had to keep reminding them all, we had an entire week, so take our time, to enjoy everything.

Just watching the four of them, with us trailing behind, Dana whispered to me, she had a nice long talk with David, on the plane, and he likes my choice of boyfriends.

I told her I had a very similar conversation with Angela. We stopped and gently kissed each other, and remained in a hug.

"Jeez, you guys, get a room!" This coming from my girls.

We just couldn't stop grinning the rest of that first day.

It must have been the third or fourth evening, after dinner, we were all sitting at an outside table near our hotel.

Both Jim and John were very quiet, when Dana asked them what was wrong.

"Well, we were talking, and since we've been hearing stuff, we wondered if you two were planing on, um, well, enlarging our family?"

Looking at each other, thinking we'd best be a bit quieter, we both said we hadn't made that decision, yet, but when we did, we'd discuss it as a family.

"Dad, you know both you and Dana have a track record of twins, in case you've forgotten."

Laughing, we both told them all, that there was another part to the twins thing. Besides, I said, what would be wrong with two more, Dana and I aren't exactly over the hill.

"You aren't exactly Spring chickens, either," Wendy said with a grin.

Wow, all six of us were laughing, together.

It was something we did have to think about, seriously.

Far too soon, we were on our way home. About 10 minutes before landing, both my girls told Dana they weren't feeling very well. The way they were talking in hushed tones, I had a good idea what was going on.