Mickey's Modeling Memoir Ch. 01

The nude model. The mention of the name is titillating, bringing thoughts of great artists who are inspired to new heights by their muses who are willing to give anything to the artists. Whenever someone hears about nude models, they think sex and erotica.

The truth is that nude modeling is grueling, mind-numbingly boring and many times excruciating. There is no glamour.

But, if you stay in the game long enough, you'll find a little of that sex and erotica.

My journey as a figure model began the Summer I was 14. I was visiting my mother's family for the summer, staying with my grandmother. My mom's sisters and brother lived with my grandmother. My Mom was significantly older than her siblings. Her brother, Jimmy, was just out of the service. Her sisters were 17, 16, and 15.

Actually, my Uncle and Aunts were mom's half-brother and sisters. They all had the same mother, my grandma, but my mom's father was not the same man as my Aunts and Uncle. And my mom was more than 10 years older than her next oldest sibling, Uncle Jimmy.

Even though they were only half-siblings, they all looked the same - rail thin, long straight dishwater blonde hair.

Uncle Jimmy looked like a typical stoner from the mid-seventies, even though now it was the mid-eighties. He was about my mom's height, which made her a relatively tall woman and him a short man. His straight, greasy long hair and shaggy beard made him look like a Jesus freak.

Oh, and one other thing. None of the four of them wore shoes, ever. I've seen all four of them running barefoot down the gravel road in front of their house. There was no way I could do that. They thought my wearing shoes was weird.

Jimmy was staying with his mother while he got himself together. I didn't know it then, but Uncle Jimmy was a pretty serious drug addict. He'd been dishonorably discharged. He worked construction now and told my grandma he was trying to save some money so he could get his own place. The truth was that he had no intention of moving out of my grandmother's house, and he didn't save any money because everything he had went to buy drugs. Everyone knew this, everyone except my grandma. I also think he might have sold drugs on the side, though I never saw him do that.

The sisters, of course were in high school, out for the summer.

There wasn't much to do at my grandmother's house. She lived out in the country and didn't have a car, so watching television was basically it. My grandmother worked all day and the sisters spent the entire day arguing. They were all professional level screamers.

Grandma's house, basically a shack, had 3 bedrooms. My grandma had a room, the screamers had a room, and Uncle Jimmy had a room. I slept on the couch in Uncle Jimmy's room. I am sure Jmmy had found the couch on the road in a ditch somewhere and dragged it home.

That summer was the first time I ever smelled pot. My mom and dad were real straight arrows, and they never got any more exotic than a Bloody Mary with Budweiser replacing the vodka, a combination I find more unusual now than I did then. I never smoked, but I basically got high every night from breathing the fumes from that couch.

On rainy days, Jimmy couldn't work his construction job, so he and I spent those days watching game shows and soaps in the living room, trying to tune out the girls' screaming.

"You know, Mickey, you'd make a great model." He had been sitting there with his eyes closed. I thought he was asleep. He'd hit his bong hard after breakfast, so I just figured he was out of it.

I was basically asleep on the couch, "Huh?"

"A figure model for life drawing, for artists." Jimmy leaned forward, put his elbows on his knees and folded his hands in front of him. "You can tell you lift weights."

He was right, I had been lifting weights in our basement for the past six months, just like every other teenage boy does. In truth, I was more skinny than muscular. I did not have much in the way of developed muscles, but I was very lean. That made me look much more muscular than I actually was.

"What would I have to do Uncle Jimmy?" Jimmy noticing my muscularity was an ego boost.

"All you hafta do is be still. The artists do all the work."

"How do I get started? Does it pay?" This was sounding more interesting; all teenage boys are basically lazy.

"You can pose for art classes or for individual artists. Pay's pretty good." Uncle Jimmy was always straight with me, but his assurances about the pay weren't exactly true. "Oh yeah, and you have to take your clothes off."

"Why do I have to take my clothes off?" Honestly, that didn't really bother me, but I figured I should pretend to be a little hesitant. I didn't want him to think I was too enthusiastic.

"'Cause the artists want to draw your muscles, Mick, see the way the light changes, the shadows. Can't see that with your clothes on. If you're gonna leave your clothes on, might as well draw a mannequin."

I knew I was an exhibitionist, even then. But Uncle Jimmy didn't. I'd only met Uncle Jimmy a coupla times, and this summer was the first time we had spent any significant time together at all. I have often wondered about this and why he had mentioned figure modeling to me out of the blue. How did he know I'd be interested?

It was also kind of ironic, given the feelings I would develop for male artists (which you will read about soon) that my Uncle Jimmy, a male artist, would be the one to get me started in figure modeling.

"You're an artist, aren'tcha Uncle Jimmy?" Jimmy had started the conversation, now it felt I was the one pursuing.

"Yeah, I took some art classes in high school, but that's been years ago ...." I couldn't figure out why Jimmy was being so obtuse now. He was the one who had mentioned drawing to me.

"Grandma has your drawings and paintings all over the walls. You were really into it." I was trying to pump Jimmy up, to boost his ego like he'd boosted mine just a minute ago.

"Yeah, I guess I was, wasn't I?" Jimmy sat there for a minute, and I could see he was thinking about his glory days in high school, when he thought he was going to be a famous artist.

"So can I pose for you?" I hoped that didn't sound as desperate coming out of my mouth as it had sounded in my head.

"No way. Your Mom'd skin me alive." I already knew that Jimmy was much more scared of my Mom (and my Dad) than he was of his mom (my grandma).

"I won't tell her. Besides, she'd be just as mad at me as she was at you. Why would I tell her? What she don't know won't hurt her." I knew that would appeal to Uncle Jimmy's natural sense of rebelliousness, and I was right.

"Your Grandma would get mad, too." It was working! Jimmy had gotten past his fear of what my mom and dad would think or do. Now he was threatening me with my grandma - I was less afraid of her than Jimmy was.

"I'll pose for you when she's at work." I almost had him landed.

Uncle Jimmy hesitated for what seemed like forever, "Alright, but we'll have to work in my room in case Mom comes home early or the girls ever leave their rooms. I think I have some charcoal in my desk and some drawing paper under it. We've got about two hours until Mom comes home."

We walked from the living room into Jimmy's room. Uncle Jimmy found his charcoal and his paper. "Should I get undressed now?" I tried to keep my voice even, but between puberty and my excitement for posing, I am sure I sounded like a croaking frog.

"Okay, but leave your underwear on. I don't think your Mom would get too mad at that." He was still thinking about his fear of my mom. I have a sister, and I've never been scared of her like Jimmy was scared of my mom.....

I quickly stripped down to my tighty whities. "Mick I was right, you are very muscular. You are going to be very interesting to draw. This light ain't right, though." Uncle Jimmy turned around to find an alternative light source, and found an old desk lamp that looked like it might electrocute the user.

As he was looking over the light, I pulled off my underwear and kicked them under the bed. Uncle Jimmy turned back with the desk lamp he'd found, "this should be much ..." Uncle Jimmy stopped when he saw his nephew standing nude in his bedroom."

"What Mom don't know won't hurt her." I tried to summon as much maturity and authority as I could in my voice, but I am sure it came out like a croaking teenager.

Uncle Jimmy smiled and shook his head, "Well let's get to work then before your Grandma comes home." Uncle Jimmy plugged the light in, and it didn't explode.

"If your momma ever finds out, she'll kill me."

I spent the next hour and a half posing for Uncle Jimmy. I had no idea what I was doing, I just took instruction from Jimmy and then stayed real still until he told me to move. What I lacked in knowledge and experience I made up for with enthusiasm and flexibility Uncle Jimmy couldn't believe the poses I could assume and hold. Every pose he asked for, I increased the degree of difficulty.

About twenty minutes in, I began to develop an erection. Within minutes I was rock hard - I was fourteen. I'd had an erection a couple times before, but I had never masturbated. At that point, I am not even sure I knew what masturbation was. Uncle Jimmy could see the distress on my face.

"Don't worry about it, kid. It's perfectly natural and it don't mean anything. Just think about something borin' and get your mind off it. Think about baseball." From then until now, whenever I would feel an erection coming on that I did not want, thinking about baseball statistics makes it go away. Works every time.

"I'm home!" Grandma was home. We'd both lost track of time. Uncle Jimmy scrambled to hide his drawings. I pulled on my shorts and shirt. We were sitting on the couch in his room when my Grandma opened the door, "What're you two doin' in here?"

"Just hidin' from all the screamin' from the girls." Uncle Jimmy made this one up quick - I'm pretty sure he'd used it before. Grandma bought it.

Uncle Jimmy worked every day for the next two weeks straight. I thought about posing every day for two weeks. I know he could see that I wanted to pose again. He let me borrow an art book so I could study classical poses. I prayed for rain.

Uncle Jimmy came to see me after about the tenth day. He said his sister (my Aunt) Erin had seen the drawings he'd made of me and wanted to know who the model was so she could draw as well. Erin was in high school and taking the same art classes Uncle Jimmy had taken.

Uncle Jimmy said he had no choice but to tell her the model was me. Erin told Jimmy that if she could not draw with us, she'd tell her mother and mine what Jimmy and I had been doing.

I should say right now that my mom's brothers and sisters are very artistic, all of them. My mom is not artistic at all, and neither am I. I never saw my mom do anything artistic, and I know she could not draw a lick. I guess their artistic talent came from their father, who was out of the picture long before I came around.

Uncle Jimmy came to me with two choices, either destroy the drawings, never make any more and claim she's a liar if she tells someone OR let her draw with us as she is demanding.

First of all, I don't buy the fact that Erin had been snooping and found the drawings. Over the entire summer, I never saw Erin snoop into Jimmy's room or anyone else's room. Jimmy and Erin were close enough in age to be close. I think Jimmy showed the drawings to Erin because he was proud of them and happy to be drawing again. He knew Erin was an artist, so he figured she'd appreciate them, he just didn't think she'd react the way she did.

Second, Jimmy did not have to tell Erin that the model in the drawings was me. Jimmy wasn't that good of an artist - the model was obviously a male, but he was not obviously me. I think Jimmy was surprised that Erin asked, and I think he was proud that he had talked me into modeling for him. He wanted to tell Erin it was me - she probably didn't even ask. I don't think he expected her ultimatum.

The decision was mine - model nude for my Aunt and Uncle or spend the rest of the summer watching The Price is Right and Family Feud. I chose nude over the Feud.

Uncle Jimmy left me to think about it and decide. A couple of days after Jimmy told me about the ultimatum, I knocked on his bedroom door, "Uncle Jimmy, I will pose for Erin and you." I could tell Jimmy was very happy. "Mick I'll tell Erin we will work the next day I'm off." I acted scared but inside I was thrilled.

I must admit that I had a crush on Erin. She was my Aunt, but we were only three years apart. The thought of taking my clothes off for her was exciting - the fact that she wanted me to was exhilarating.

At breakfast on the next rainy day, Jimmy and Erin and I agreed that we would work in Jimmy's room, since it was bigger and the other sisters did not enter his room without knocking.

After grandma left for work, I went to Jimmy's room, knocked on the door and went in. Erin and Jimmy were already there with their charcoal and paper - they were waiting for me.

"Should I just go ahead and get undressed?" Again, I tried to steel my voice and sound mature and professional, but I am certain it did not work.

"Mickey do you want me to close my eyes or leave the room?" Erin was the older one and she had demanded this situation, but now she seemed a little embarrassed. Erin was the only one that called me Mickey.

I felt good, it felt like I was in charge of the situation, "No need, you're going to see it all in just a minute, anyway." That's the way I've always felt, even to this day. I do not understand the ceremony of the robe. You ask me to stand in front of you for three hours with no clothes on, but you are scandalized if I am nude during the fifteen-minute breaks? Didn't make sense to me then and makes even less now.

I quickly and unceremoniously stripped off my tee shirt and shorts. Erin was trying with all her might to maintain eye contact with me. Both Erin and Jimmy looked at me as I stood in front of them in my underwear. I think both of them figured I would keep them on.

I could see the surprise in their faces when my underwear hit the floor and I kicked them under the bed. "Okay, how do you want me to pose first?" Jimmy snapped out of it first, Erin was still searching for where to look.

Uncle Jimmy took charge, "Life drawing classes generally start with a series of gesture poses. These are thirty second to one minute poses to help the artists get in the right frame of mind for drawing. The model chooses the poses and times himself. The artists just follow along. Use your creativity, Mickey. Think about the poses you saw in the book I gave you. Just let it flow."

He hadn't told me any of this the first time I posed. It seemed like he was trying to impress both Erin and me. Uncle Jimmy was giving me quite an education.

I had an erection by the third pose, stiff as a pipe, pointed at the ceiling.

"Remember what we talked about, Mick. Close your eyes and think about baseball. Just breathe and relax."

I did, and I have never had an erection while posing again. I know that seems unimportant, but having an erection really makes you look unprofessional, even if everyone says it's natural. I'll take that back, I have never had an unintended erection while posing - I've had a few artists that wanted me to pose with an erection. Some asked very directly, some hinted and thought they were being coy. I'll tell you about them later.

We spent the next three hours making art.

We took a couple breaks along the way. I stayed nude the entire time during the breaks and just relaxed in Jimmy's bed while the two of them sat on the couch and worked on their drawings.

I never looked at their drawings and I still do not walk around the room looking at the drawings of the artists in my classes today. I figure the artist's work is their own private space. If they want me to see it, they can come and show it to me. I am not in the class to be entertained, I am there to inspire the artist.

The next day, I thought Grandma had caught on. "Mick, come here." Her voice was that stern one that meant something was wrong. I trudged to the back porch, where the washer and dryer was. Grandma was standing in front of the washer.

"Mick you're missing two pairs of underwear. What're you doing with them?" Grandma did my laundry, she did laundry for everyone in the house. I know, all of us were old enough to do our own laundry, but she was willing, and the rest of us let her.

Luckily, I was able to think fast, "They must've fallen behind the hamper. I'll go get them." I whipped open the screen door and made a bee line for Uncle Jimmy's room.

"Well hurry so I can get them in this load." Grandma fell for it. The screen door slammed and I was halfway across the kitchen by the time she said this.

I ran through the kitchen and into Uncle Jimmy's room. Jimmy was listening to Led Zepplin II through his headphones. I crawled under the bed and grabbed both pair. I raised them in the air as I got up off the floor. Jimmy didn't say anything, I'm pretty sure he was high. He looked at me as if I were an alien from outer space, then went back to his music.

Luckily, grandma had not followed me - it would have been difficult to explain why my underwear was in Uncle Jimmy's room. I ran through the kitchen and handed them to her. She seemed grouchy but pleased. This was not the last close call with grandma.

Two days later, Erin came into the living room while I was watching a soap. "Wanna draw?"

"Uncle Jimmy's at work today." Erin knew this, but for some reason I felt like I needed to tell her.

"I know it, but we don't need him. We can use his room. And Cathy can join us." Cathy was my sixteen year old Aunt who had just started high school last year. She'd be a sophomore this Fall.

"Can she draw?" I felt like I had to act like I did not want to pose for her. I was afraid they'd think I was a little too enthusiastic about posing, and that they'd think I was a pervert.

"Everyone in this family can draw. She took art classes both semesters last year. You don't take figure drawing till you're a sophomore, but I'll give her some hints."

I tried to pretend I was reluctant. "Are you sure it's okay to use Uncle Jimmy's room?"

"It's fine. And besides, if we don't let her, she'll tell Mom about the whole thing. I know neither one of you want that."

"Wait how does Cathy know about our sessions?" I knew how she knew. All three of them shared a room, and I'm sure none of them had a secret that the other two didn't know about.

"She might've accidently seen some of my drawings." I doubt Cathy saw them accidently.

"And how does she know the model is me?" Cathy was still learning, she wasn't even as good as Jimmy. Her drawings didn't look anything like me.

"I might've accidently told her." I am sure it was no accident.

We walked to Jimmy's room, and Cathy was already there. "Hey Cathy."

"Hey. "Cathy didn't even look up from her paper. She was obviously nervous, and was afraid she was doing something nasty. She had never had a life drawing class before, and had no idea what to expect. She probably hadn't seen a nude male before - I wrote man at first, but at 14, I was not a man, but I did have a cock.

"Cathy this stays between us, right." As Cathy and I were talking, Erin got charcoal out of Jimmy's desk and a pad of drawing paper for both of them. "Neither of our Moms can know about this."

"Yeah, I know Mick. They'd be mad at all of us if they knew what we were doin'. I'm not tellin'." I know she still felt like all of us were doing something wrong.

I pulled off my tee shirt and kicked off my shorts. I dropped my underwear and kicked them into the corner. Erin maintained eye contact with me. Cathy did not.