Mike & Karen Ch. 19

"Maybe a little strange for you," Mona said finally, smiling as politely as she could. "But I assure you, gentlemen, I've come by my business savvy honestly, and my stocks speak for themselves... Halas And Batchelor, Nelvana, Rankin-Bass, Blue Sky, Pierrot..."

Is she really just rhyming off the names of animation studios and hoping they'll fall for it?! Karen screamed internally.

"And finally, my lovely wife, Miranda," Mike said grandly, gesturing to Lisa, who was clad in a stately green dress and wearing pearls. By contrast, Mona and Janet were both wearing smart skirt-suits they'd found and that fit them.

"Ah yes," Zhao said, coming forward and bowing to her politely. "Our research told us to expect an impressive blond man and a lovely red-headed wife. I can see that we were not mistaken. Thank you for having us in your home."

"Oh, my pleasure," Lisa almost squeaked, nodding her head and smiling, her freckles dancing around her face. "Welcome to our home, gentlemen."

"Let's start with drinks in the study," Mike announced before turning to look at Karen. "Mitsou, we'll need three bottles of the Krug Clos, please. And the Belgian crystal. Meet us in the bar."

Karen's eyes widened slightly. "M-monsieur, the Krug Clos?"

Mike's smile was more of a smirk. "The Krug Clos de Mesnil Blanc du Blancs, yes. Now hurry, girl."

Karen curtsied rather stiffly and turned to walk out of the room and head for the wine cellar. She was going to kill DeBourne. The Krug Clos was close to three thousand dollars a bottle, Canadian! She could barely feel her fingers as she touched the door of the spirits room. Was she having a stroke?

The dimly lit room stretched on for some meters, but it might as well have been kilometers, because the passage of space and time meant very little to her at the moment. She stopped and pinched her eyes, knowing she had to focus. Time was not on her side.

She'd been down here countless times before with her father, or the sommelier, who taught her where to find everything, as well as the characters of the wines and spirits, and their rarity.

And that oversized gorilla had just instructed her to bring three bottles of one of the most expensive sparkling aperitif wines on the planet. How on Earth was she supposed to hide that? Controlling her breathing, which felt very shallow to her, Karen walked through the rows, arriving at the Sparkling Wine Aperitif section, which was next to the Champagne Aperitif section.

She turned her head and looked at a stout, locked wooden door at the back of the aisle she was in, where things were kept chilled. At least she didn't have to get anything out of there.

She found the Krug Clos, and steadied her fingers as she took three bottles of it from their slots, before returning them. She pulled away and sagged heavily against a free space on the wall, sighing.

Directly in front of her was an opened bottle of zinfandel. She took the bottle, yanked the cork out with her fingers, and took a long, stiff pull of the strong red before exhaling loudly and stopping it again. She gathered the three bottles of Krug up and headed out of the room to get the bucket and the serving wagon.

If she survived this evening, DeBourne would not.

***

"They called you Mitsou?" Tatyana asked, raising an eyebrow. She looked over at Marie, who had joined the small crowd recently. "Is this a common name?"

"No, not as such," the French woman replied. "I cannot think of any instances where I knew a girl with the name."

"At least you didn't call her Fifi," Valentina added, still standing behind Tatyana's chair. "Would've made her sound like a poodle."

"I am willing to bet that Mrs. DeBourne felt more like a sabretooth that night," the seneschal said before looking at Mike. "And how on earth did you know that she had Krug Clos available?"

Mike shrugged. "I just guessed, to be honest. It was hard to imagine her place not having something like that, and I read about it in a society magazine I found in her parents' room the night before."

"See? Incorrigible," Karen said, tilting her head toward her giant husband as he sat next to her. "What chance did I have?"

"Are you talking about that night, or not falling in love?" Tatyana queried.

"Maybe both," Karen admitted while those gathered snickered. Even Trilby was smiling. "But you must all be parched, standing here listening to me prattle on."

"Yes, I was wondering that too," Tatyana mused, turning and looking at her staff. "Am I to understand that you are all finished with your duties?"

"I'm sure they can catch up later, Miss Orlova," Mike said easily, waving off the concern. "They might as well know what went on in this place, and any lunacy yet to come their way."

"I have every confidence that they will bring their own special brand of lunacy into the fold, sir," Tatyana replied, turning her head slightly to look up at Valentina. The younger girl cleared her throat and tried to stand still. "So then, you were compelled to bring several thousand dollars worth of sparkling wine to the pre-dinner course."

"O-kay, I'm about to out myself as a real bumpkin here," Trilby said, coming toward the gathering now. "But I don't grok the difference between sparkling wine and champagne, sorry. Somebody gimme a lowdown?"

Val rolled her eyes. "There's no difference, Tril, except where they're made. "Champagne comes exclusively from the region of Champagne in France, sparkling wine is the exact same thing from anywhere else on the planet. Legally, the region owns the name."

"Huh, no kiddin'," Trilby said, standing next to her co-worker. "So a sparkling wine could be better than a champagne."

"Infinitely," Karen agreed, nodding. "Michael and I have had some terrible champagnes. Remember that horrible bubbly in the little club in Lucerne?"

"How can I forget?" Mike laughed. "Despite it smelling like feet, you still managed to drink enough to start table dancing and singing."

"I spent quite a bit of that trip inebriated, it's true," Karen sighed. "But yes, Trilby, there's nothing except a legal consideration. Where the drink is made is the only difference. But I have an idea. If Theresa will make drinks and some light snacks for everyone, we'll have this conversation in the dining hall, where it all happened, oui?"

"I'll be ready in ten minutes, ma'am!" Theresa said, hurrying out of the room.

"Michael and I will see you all shortly," Karen announced, causing the crowd to disperse. Val was giggling excitedly and talking to Trilby, while Tatyana and Jordan went last, no doubt to go make sure the dining hall was in good order. This left Mike and Karen alone in the room, and she leaned her head against his shoulder, smiling at the flowers in the little alcove next to the door.

"You and I have always had the strangest charmed life, haven't we?" she said rather dreamily, enjoying the feel of him next to her. There were few things she craved more, and they all involved him.

He nodded and put his arm around her, holding her to his side. "Adventure's not even half-over, Gordon. Plenty of time to cause more mischief."

She giggled and nuzzled her cheek against his massive bicep before kissing it. "How many times have you come to my rescue?"

"Not as many as you've come to mine, I think," he mused, making her smile and roll her eyes. "It's a good crew we have here, don't you agree?"

Karen nodded. "They'll become like family, after a fashion. You can tell they all love it here, even Trilby. In my father's day, and before, the employees were just employees, with Jordan being the exception. They were paid well to be professional and discreet; that was all the Blackwells wanted of them. I like this better."

"Valentina no doubt agrees," Mike said, smirking down at his wife.

Karen put on a show of being offended. She crossed one knee over the other, folded her hands on said knee, and looked away, her nose in the air. "I will have you know, Michael DeBourne, that if that girl had been born without a vagina and if she had sex drive of a rock, she would still be perfect for this position."

"On that point we agree, princess," Mike chuckled, standing and then scooping his wife into his arms, making her squeak. "Let's go have a cold February night beverage and regale the troops with tales of our insanity."

She giggled and kicked her feet cutely as he carried her out of the study.

***

Thirty-some years earlier, in the smoking lounge and bar...

The evening had been progressing without many crises so far, barring Mike repeatedly sending Karen for more bottles of expensive spirits. He was able to consume herculean amounts of alcohol, and their Chinese guests seemed to have taken this as something of a challenge, trying as a group to match him. But seeing as how he weighed more than any two of them combined, this appeared to be a losing prospect.

Karen, as the designated attendant, stood silently nearby, her hands folded primly in front of herself, watching everything. Her golden-amber eyes surveyed the room, and she listened attentively. DeBourne was showing absolutely no effects from the alcohol, which was not surprising given how much water he displaced. In addition to that, he'd been eating chunks of bread with generous amounts of white butter, along with the fatty canapes Angie kept sending up, so his stomach was nicely lined and retarding the onset of the alcohol's effects.

Karen couldn't help but wonder: was DeBourne using this as a weapon against the Chinese? Using alcohol to loosen them up?

There were two problems, however, that she was actively keeping track of. First, Mr. Zhao did not seem terribly adept at holding his liquor, and he was proving quite fascinated with Mona, talking to her constantly. Mona kept improvising, but she was running out of ideas to pull out of her ass.

Second, and worse, the only person who seemed to be less able to hold their liquor than Mr. Zhao was Lisa, who was getting rather soused. She wasn't staggering around babbling incoherently, but she was somewhat flushed, and had began to giggle.

And as Karen well knew, when Lisa got drunk, it was Bad Ideas Time.

"Our information, it told us to expect a blond man, and his red-headed wife," mentioned one businessman, whose name was Chen. "Both in their late forties. I must know your secrets for looking so young despite your age."

Karen pursed her lip as she watched and listened. She had put makeup on Lisa, specifically around her eyes, to give her the appearance of crow's feet, a few age lines along her cheeks to help her look older. To her credit, it seemed to have worked. DeBourne, on the other hand, despite the makeup touches, seemed unchanged. They'd be getting through this sham on his force of personality alone.

"True love," Lisa said as she took another sip from her glass. She'd moved onto martinis by now. "And lots of sex."

Mike almost choked on his drink, while the two businessmen speaking with them cleared their throats and looked away. Karen's eyes widened when she heard her roommate say it; she could not restrain from a facepalm.

"That... must be a detailed instruction manual you have on the subject," one man said awkwardly.

"Well, it's not the Golden Lotus or the Dream In The Western Chamber, but it keeps her happy," Mike offered as an explanation.

"And I must ask," one of the men said, leaning in slightly and hoping he was being discreet. "The woman attending to us, she is not just your maid, is she?"

"What am I to infer from that, Mr. Chen?" Mike queried, looking down at his guest.

"Nothing inappropriate, I assure you," the man assured him, also looking at Lisa. "What I meant was that we all think that there is more to her than being a simply domestic servant. She is attentive, yes, but she observes everything keenly, and is always ready. And her eyes, they are... intense."

Mike simply listened, waiting for the man to get to the point, giving him nothing.

"We have legends in China about frightening women whose job it is to protect their liege lords," Chen almost whispered. "Surely this woman is also your bodyguard."

Karen's eyes narrowed.

Mike almost laughed loudly but settled for smiling. "She is indeed more than a simple domestic servant to me, yes. Mitsou has many skills, and her understanding of physics and mathematics is absolutely frightening."

Karen tried not to frown as she readied another bottle for opening. Was he mollifying her? How many times was she going to have to kill him after this? She needed one of those necromancers that DeBourne's gamer geek friends were always on about, so that she could kill him, raise him from the dead and kill him again.

"Very unusual eyes," mused the other businessman with Chen, named Hao.

Mike shrugged. "Sun Quan had green eyes."

Chen looked surprised. "You know the Sanguo."

"I read a lot, so Chinese literature is known to me," Mike said simply.

Chen turned and mumbled something to Hao in their own language, and Karen regretted not speaking any forms of Chinese right then. Their attention returned to Mike and Lisa and they smiled. "A most worthy servant to have in one's employ, certainly. Retaining her must be expensive."

"She pretty high-maintenance, I'll grant you that," Mike agreed, making Karen's ears go red and causing her to almost rip the cork out of the wine bottle she was opening with her fingernails.

"The sex with her isn't bad either," Lisa mentioned as she drained her martini. Mike blinked but recovered quickly, while Karen, who was some distance away with the drinks, hung her head in despair. The two businessmen looked up at Mike in confusion and disbelief.

"Well, it's one way to keep down the price for employing her," Mike offered.

Karen picked up a tray of drinks she'd prepared and marched away to another section of the room, away from the two soon-to-be-dead people. Janet seemed to be having a lovely time speaking with several of the businessmen, who plainly considered her a safe bet in comparison to the towering Mr. Blackwell. And their senior, Mr. Zhao, seemed intent on monopolizing the black woman.

"Oh, c'mon, guys," Janet laughed as she paused in sipping her aperitif. "You know international laws about tariffs as well as I do! If you want to do business with my cousin, scrap that dumb limited agreement you have with Bombardier and move your operations over to work with Blackwell. But the tariffs go up if you play both at once."

"It is not common to hear Canadians bad-mouth one of their own, even a competitor," mentioned Chao, the youngest man. "You think your case and what you have to offer is that strong?"

"You're here, aren't you?" Janet replied, looking over her glass as she took another sip. "You guys're busy, you wouldn't've made the time if you weren't interested."

"It was indeed an interesting proposal you made, once you saw what we were trying to do," said another. "Your offer was ambitious, to say the least. Many were conflicted as to whether it was brilliant, or completely insane."

"Y'never know with my cuz," Janet quipped, clearly enjoying the attention, whatever her earlier fears might have been. She was applying her legal classes and training to the conversation, so she felt much more in her element. "Ah, thank you, Mitsou!"

"Ne rien, mam'selle," Karen said in as pleasant a tone as she could manage, given that they were discussing her offer and found it deranged. It wasn't deranged, it was just bold. She gave each person present another drink, took the old glasses, and then headed off to rescue Mona.

"But Miss Blackwell, you must tell me more of your stocks," Mr. Zhao was insisting, standing very close to her. "They intrigue me, and if we were both investors... our stocks, they might abut one another, almost as if they were kissing."

"That's a very expensive wedding ring you have there, Mr. Zhao," Mona mentioned, nodding at the hand he held his drink in. "Must've cost your wife a pretty penny."

"You mean a pretty yuan," he quipped, smiling and touching his knuckle to her cheek affectionately. "And yes, it is worth some tens of thousands of dollars in your Canadian money. I think it would complement your exotic skin tone so we-"

"Désolée, madame et monsieur, but I have new drinks for you," Karen interrupted, curtsying politely as she strode up. "But I am afraid that I might not have made the lady's drink to her specifications."

"You never seem to manage it, Mitsou," Mona replied, thankful for the reprieve. "Come and I'll show you."

"Monsieur Zhao, my employer, Monsieur DeB- Monsieur Blackwell, is looking to have a word with you, I believe."

"Please excuse," Zhao said, nodding his head politely, although he was clearly unhappy about being torn away from his new love interest for something as trivial as business. He turned and headed toward Mike, snapping his fingers to get the attention of the youngest businessman and bring him along. Mona sighed heavily as he left.

"Thanks for that," she said quietly as she walked with Karen over to the bar to pretend to show her how to make the drink. "He keeps on asking more and more questions about my investments and portfolios. If he actually starts looking for a derivatives investor named Chuck Jones, we're done for."

Despite herself, Karen stifled a snicker.

"Ugh, my ass feels like a pincushion," Mona groused. "I should've agreed to be the damn black maid; at least I would've had excuses to keep leaving the room."

"I'm sorry," Karen said humbly, looking downcast. "This is my fault."

"Kar, you had no way of knowing he was gonna be an old lecher who was hot to trot and down with the swirl," Mona said, smiling. "I think we're pulling this off, hon."

"If Heyman doesn't sink us," Karen muttered.

Mona paused. "Shit, she getting drunk?"

Karen tilted her head subtly in the direction of Mike and Lisa. While Mike was supremely composed and dominant, Lisa had reached the giggly phase of being drunk, and seemed intent on making sure everyone knew she was heterosexually married and not, in fact, a lesbian. Mike kept subtly moving her hand away from his crotch when she tried to pat it.

"Fuuuuuuck," Mona said in distress. "She may blow this yet. Why is she trying to prove she's not a lesbian when nobody thought she was?"

"She's moved on to martinis, you know her and gin," sighed Karen. "Only a matter of time before-"

A tinkling, chiming sound echoed out of the dining hall.

"Saved by the bell," Karen said in relief, straightening up and turning to address the crowd, her hands folded in front of herself. "Mesdames et messieurs, dinner is being served, please follow me and I will see you all seated, oui?"

Mike took Lisa by the arm and moved to follow 'Mitsou', his stride perhaps a little longer than Lisa could keep up with. She squeaked and hurried so that she was not just pulled along.

"C'mon, boys," Janet purred, standing between two of the businessmen and taking each by the arm. "I know the way."

Mona rolled her eyes as Mr. Zhao found her and eagerly escorted her into the dining hall, only having to remove his hand from her ass twice.

***

The dining room...

Dinner was being wheeled in and set up by Karen, after she had seated everyone. She began by ladling out bowls of steaming Mulligatawny soup to each of the guests. It must have been spicy because Lisa had developed the hiccups.

Well, that or her martinis were finally catching up with her. Karen could only hope it was the former, but her roomie's persistent giggling after each hiccup did not give her much hope.

Zhao spoke to his youngest businessman, who was sitting next to him and acting as translator when his boss' English was strained by a concept. Mr. Zhao also kept his free hand on Mona's thigh whenever he could since she was sitting next to him at his insistence.