Mike & Karen Ch. 28

"Given that I cannot teach you and Himself anything about fucking, I certainly intend to show these young whelps how to party," Jenny replied, starting to come to from her dazed state. Indeed, on Tuesday, she had brought many students with her to the pub across from the university, and had a grand time, laughing and letting them find out about her. They were enthralled to know a genuine aristocrat, and she promised to go partying with them all Friday night in the club district.

"One little bim asked me if I'd ever done body shots before," Jenny sniffed. "Me. Body shots. Can you believe the cheek?"

"I remember your assertion that the very first body shot done off you was the residual amniotic fluid in your navel," Karen replied dryly, shaking her head. "I could almost believe it, if a person was born with a navel and not an umbilical cord."

"The kiddies today are so clueless I could probably make them believe it," the blonde woman said, as they watched Val still bouncing up and down on Mike across the tub, panting and almost yelping. "What say you to a wager, Kat?"

"The standard one?"

"That seems apropos," Jenny lilted, holding up her pinkie finger, which Karen clasped with her own. "I need to have, say, three of these yobbos believe I was born with a navel and an amniotic body shot for three minutes before disproven. Deal?"

"I can't believe we're both nearly fifty and still doing this," Karen sighed, going back to caressing her lover's thoroughly relaxed body. "Teenage girl bets."

"Oh, come now, Kat, admit it, they were always fun," Jenny teased.

"Okay, I admit it, they were fun, win or lose," Karen confessed. She paused while Val wailed and shuddered as she came just across the tub from them. She sagged in Mike's powerful arms, trembling. Jenny moved in and pulled the nigh-unconscious maidservant from Mike's lap and let Karen take her place. Karen slid into her husband's lap and onto his throbbing tool under the water, sighing in pleasure as he penetrated her. She was in her happiest place, in her mighty husband's arms while he was deep inside her.

"You two are worse than a pair of teenage girls, you know that, right?" Mike said, smiling into her bewitching golden eyes.

"What, because we make absurd bets, get inebriated and giggle our fool heads off, gossip about our peers, and spend all our time trying to get laid?" Karen asked, trying to sound innocent. It didn't work. "Actually, don't bother answering that question, husband-mine."

She loved misbehaving for his amusement, after all...

***

Wednesday morning, a certain 'office', 1987...

"I see you've decorated," Karen sniffed as she looked around the tiny room, most of which was occupied by DeBourne's great bulk. "After a fashion."

"Yeah, Mongo, most people try to separate work from their home space, but you just brought it with you," Lisa said as she reached out and touched a sizable figurine robot from some anime. It had oversized golden horns on its head, and the chest sort of looked like a face. "Which one is this?"

"Gaiking," Mike replied, futzing around with a connection at one of the towers perched on the shelves. He didn't need to look to know which one Lisa was talking about, he could triangulate where she was in the room. "My favourite mecha cartoon. The other ones spaced around are the Star Dragon and Danguard Ace."

"Count on you to find a way to make plastic extra nerdy," Janet added, tapping at a Klingon Bird of Prey that hung on a thread from the ceiling. "Forget model cars, airplanes, or tanks, you gotta bring take it a step further with cheapo Japanese robots."

"Excuse you, Remington, those are not cheap," Mike chided, still not looking at them. They'd arrived unannounced, so he felt no obligation to stop what he was doing. "If it's all the same to you, they're limited edition collectibles."

"No, DeBourne, the Cullinan diamond is limited edition," Karen scoffed. "My father's Fabergé eggs are limited edition. My Stradivarius violins are limited edition. I own more golden Aztec death masks than you have 'limited edition' mecha models, sir. These are only limited edition until Bandai or whoever decides to sell them again. Frankly, the only limited edition thing in this closet is you."

Mike paused and turned to look at her now. And for once, he didn't seem to know what to say. They could see him trying to formulate something, but Karen had clearly put him in his place.

"Uh, wow..." Lisa said quietly, feeling weird. "Did... did Kar just out-snark Mike? Isn't that one of the signs of the Apocalypse?"

"I know I'm kinda scared about reality blowing apart," Mona breathed, looking back and forth between Mike and Karen. She actually seemed rather smug at this point, and Mona couldn't blame her since everyone was always on the losing end of snark wars with Mike. Always. But she'd pulled off a win. Impressive.

"I don't suppose you have a mask or an egg to spare so that I can spruce the place up?" he said finally, offering her a conciliatory smile.

Janet, Lisa, and Mona all burst out laughing, coming in and giving him hugs, while Karen came closer, giggling and promising to find him some plastic Fabergé eggs and death masks to complement his limited edition Japanese mecha.

Dinner was going to be fun.

***

King's College Circle, Wednesday afternoon, the present...

"Talk about awkward," Alexa sighed as she walked along beside Alex across the campus green, carrying some textbooks in front of her chest while Alex had his backpack slung over one shoulder. "I had to stay and talk to Professor Ericson after my Advanced Russian class and tell her that she declined a verb incorrectly, and I just wanted her to be able to correct it for next class."

"Nice of you to not do it while the other students were around," Alex said agreeably, nodding. "A lot of students would've tried to correct her right there on the spot."

"I like her, she just made a mistake," the blonde goddess said with a shrug. "Not like I'm perfect, so I can hardly hold it against her, can I?"

They paused their conversation as a large figure came storming across the green. He seemed to be heading toward the avenue out toward College Street, and they happened to be in his way. Alex and Alexa stayed still, to see if he'd just go by, but Alex also subtly put himself in front of her, just in case.

The man glared at them angrily as he drew close. He was somewhat taller than Alex, more heavily built, but it was a rugged and coarse build, as opposed to Alex's chiseled physique. Alex just kept his eyes on the man, looking at him levelly.

"I s'pose you think this is a fuckin' riot, huh?!" the man snarled, still glaring at them when he came to a stop, maybe a meter from them. "Thanks to you degenerates, I've been kicked the fuck out!"

Alexa let Alex handle this, since he'd stepped in front of her. She had no intention of interfering. Alex seemed to just observe the newcomer for some moments.

"Oh, wait... you're Jerry, right?" he said finally, as if recognition had just kicked in. Alexa knew better, Alex was just ribbing the man. "You're the one from the MMA club who got flattened by Freja. I'm surprised you could still take any courses after she rattled your brain like that. I heard you went over like a redwood."

"The stupid lezzie fag got a sucker-kick in!" Jerry almost shouted, shaking in fury. People walking nearby were staring, but also didn't seem to want to get close. "Just another fuckin' degenerate like you two."

"I'm assuming it's this sort of erudite discourse that got your ass bounced out of here," Alex replied coolly, not moving a muscle, but Alexa reached up and slid his backpack off his shoulder. "Surprised it took this long, really."

"Well maybe I am expelled, but maybe I'll also get some of my own back before I do," Jerry growled, his hands tightening on the straps of his backpack. "It's your fuckin' fault, so I should kick your head in."

"I doubt it's worth the assault charge when the cops show up," Alex pointed out.

"They won't be here for fifteen minutes," Jerry countered, his voice evil. "Plenty of time to fuck you up, little boy."

"Are you having issues, Alex?" Freja asked as she walked up, followed by Jeanie. "It is seeming to me like you stepped in shit and have yet to scrape it off your shoe."

"Good, the fag is here too, now I can take care of you both in one go," Jerry said, his face red with anger and the veins in his neck and forehead visible. "That'll make my last few moments here on campus really satisfying."

"You don't wanna do this, Jerry," Alex warned.

"He is right, you do not," Freja added. "You were no match for me, and Alex is better than I am, trained by his father."

"Y'think I'm afraid of you two?" Jerry almost raged, attracting more attention. "You sick fucks have cost me everything! Kicking the shit out of you will be a pleasure!"

"Alex, everything all right?" Anthony asked as he walked up, looking concerned. It was perfectly obvious that a confrontation was happening. "I wanted to-"

"This doesn't concern you, chinkerbell," Jerry growled, not taking his eyes off Alex. "So you'd better just step back, unless you wanna fall back."

Anthony looked at Alex, who made a subtle nodding motion in the direction of Alexa, but kept his eyes on Jerry. Anthony moved back and stayed with his friend's aunt-wife, trying to look protective.

"You're making this difficult, Jerry," Alex said in a low tone, not moving a muscle. "Everyone's watching. I'm willing to bet a few people have already called campus security, and this day is only gonna get worse for you if you do anything stupid."

"Stupid was lettin' you and your degenerate girl infest this university, you and the lezzie fags," Jerry shouted. "Fuckin' abominations, the lot of you! You cost good people everything! I-"

"Alex, are you behaving yourself?" Karen chimed as she walked up casually, accompanied by Jenny. She was wearing a skirt suit, but her blazer was tossed casually over her shoulder. "I thought I trained you to not be so loud in civil discourse."

"Sorry, mom," Alex said, still eyeing Jerry warily, even though his mother was now standing between them and facing him. "Just trying to point out to someone how stupid they're being."

"Alex, you'll never make friends if you talk about people that way," Karen chided, holding up her finger. Jerry, Freja, Jeanie, Anthony, and Alexa were looking on in confusion, bordering on disbelief. What was Karen on about? "You have to be polite, and show everyone a positive disposition."

"After all," Jenny added, smiling at Alex and patting his cheek. "We want you to be charming and have all the ladies swoon, don't we? Can't have you acting like some impulsive thug, can we?"

"Don't talk about me like I'm not here!" Jerry snarled.

"Ignore him," Karen said casually with a small dismissive wave, still talking to her son while Jenny just smirked. "Now didn't I teach you that-"

Jerry was shouting now, very loudly. "Lady, if you think I won't fuckin' go through you to get at that son of a bitch, you're about to find out the hard way that-"

"Excuse you, I'm trying to parent!" Karen snapped, turning around to face Jerry and holding up a hand to his face.

The large student's eyes rolled up into his head and he simply crumpled to the ground. Everyone nearby looked on in amazement. Even Jenny.

"Honestly," Karen huffed, slipping a small item back in her jacket pocket discretely and looking annoyed. "You children have no manners, interrupting your elders like that."

"Uh, Lady Prof, did you just kill him with your mind?" Jeanie asked rather uncertainly. If she was going to credit anyone with being able to do something that freaky, it was Dr. Karen Gordon-DeBourne.

"No, honey," Karen replied as she looked down at Jerry and nudged him with the toe of her shoe. "Alex, is it true this blaggard was expelled earlier today?"

"Seemingly so, and it's mine and Alexa's fault," Alex confirmed, nodding.

"Well I don't doubt that, you two are rather difficult," Karen mused. "In any event, if he's been expelled, that means he's trespassing on my university grounds, and I would see him gone. You have probably fifteen minutes before he might start coming to. Be a dear and find a bench for the shoddy vagrant, would you?"

"On it, mom," Alex said before squatting down and lifting Jerry up, carrying him like Elmer Fudd carried a dead Bugs Bunny. Freja dumped Jerry's backpack unceremoniously on his chest and Alex hauled the unconscious former student away toward the street, followed by Freja, Jeanie, and Anthony.

"Do I even want to know what you did, Kar?" Alexa asked as they all turned and headed back toward the Sciences building, following in the elder sister's wake.

"Yes, Kat, even for you, that was rather bizarre and impressive," Jenny agreed.

"A new, experimental technology Michael and I have been working on," Karen replied in a casual tone, as if it was nothing. "We want to perfect and patent it before military or law enforcement get their hands on it."

"Okay, sounds ethical, but what is 'it', exactly?"

"A flash of light, operating on a very specific wavelength of the purple spectrum," the older sister explained, now that nobody else could hear them, except Jenny. It would be all over campus soon enough that Dr. Gordon had knocked out a student with her mind. "It ionizes the rhodopsin in the eyes, disorienting the target by disrupting their sense of time and space temporarily. More or less, sensory deprivation. That young man got off lucky if I'm right about the fifteen minutes. That was the first practical test, I'm afraid to say."

"I can see why you wanna patent it before The Man does," Alexa mused. "Riot police with grenades that did that would be scary. I mean, yeah, great for anti-terrorism, but still, lots of innocent people could get hurt. Not that I care about Jerry. I'm just glad only he got the effects of it."

"It's only a prototype, just in this tiny pen form, for individual use," Karen said with a shrug. "I'm surprised it worked at all."

"Well, you kept Alex from having to dirty his hands putting Jerry through the pavement, so thanks for that," Alexa said with a shrug.

"So he knew Alex was Michael's son and still wanted to mix it up?" Karen asked, shaking her head. "You young people, I swear..."

Alexa giggled. Karen often carried a gom jabbar, and now she had a mind-scrambling pen? She felt as safe around her big sissy as she did around Alex or even Mike.

Jenny suggested a celebratory drink at the students' pub across the street.

***

Blackwell Manor, Wednesday evening, 1987...

"I am pleased that you were able to join us, young man," Jonathon Blackwell said as they all sat at the long table in the formal dining room. It felt very spacious, since there were only seven people at the table, even though Mike was bigger than any two of them, plus Lisa, put together. Despite his size, he didn't seem out of place. Jordan and Angelique were standing nearby, ready to serve the various courses. This sort of formality only happened when there were guests, especially new ones.

Karen was equally pleased to see that he'd worn the suit she'd had tailored for him back in the Fall. With her father, first impressions were important. The last time her father had seen Mike, the huge student had been wearing ratty jeans, a Led Zeppelin tee, and had smacked the crap out of her cousin Rodney for harassing and bullying Lisa. This last was probably a plus in her father's estimation.

"Thank you, sir, I hope you understand that I wasn't putting you off," Mike replied, nodding respectfully to both Jonathon and Miranda, who were sitting at opposite ends of the table. Also with them were Lisa, Janet, and Mona, spaced around the table. Karen had Lisa sitting closest to Mike, since she didn't trust Mona or Janet not to try and get handsy with him if they were in his proximity.

"My daughter says you have a very busy schedule," the Blackwell patriarch mentioned as soup was served. "You tutor, you cook for other students in financial straits, and you have some recreational activities, yes?"

"Yes, sir," Mike confirmed, waiting until Miranda had tried her soup before picking up his spoon. It always was a pleasant surprise to Karen to see what the shaggy mammoth actually knew about proper manners. It had been much harder to train the girls, in fact. Janet was a menace. True, DeBourne didn't have lots of formal training, but he had told her he'd taken a course once in Kapuskasing when a manners coach happened through the town and he retained everything in case of future use. "I have a few hobbies one might consider, well, nerdy."

"Tell him about the Dungeons and Dragons, Mongo," Janet said, her eyes glinting with amusement.

"Dungeons and Dragons?" Jonathon mused, looking at Mike again. "Isn't that some sort of fantasy game where you pretend to be adventurers and fight monsters and roll dice?"

Mike shrugged. "Not really any different from fantasy football or baseball, sir, except I get to kill orcs with a +5 Holy Avenger."

"That is actually a very valid point," Karen's dad allowed, nodding. "And it probably encourages creativity, right?"

"I like to think so," Mike said agreeably. This soup was great! Gordon was crazy to live on campus when she could come home to this every night. "And it gives some of the guys something to do on a Saturday night."

"You mean nerdy young men who have trouble finding a date, right?" Miranda quipped from her end of the table. This earned a snicker from Mona, and Jonathon raised his eyebrow as he looked at his wife.

"It's a wonder DeBourne gets any dates at all when the girls find out he does that D&D thing," Janet added, smirking at him.

"And it's a wonder there are any dateless men left on campus with you around, Remington, whether they play D&D or not," Mike retorted, returning the smirk.

Lisa and Mona both burst into giggle fits, and even Karen was tittering behind her hand. Janet laughed. "Touché, DeBourne, I had that coming."

Jonathon nodded again. "And a sharp, ready wit to boot, impressive. My daughter has been telling me about the Calabi-Yau Manifolds project you are spearheading."

"To be fair, sir, she's been involved as well, certainly enough to warrant coming to Lucerne to talk about it," Mike said before smirking at Karen across the table. "Granted, she's over in Mathematical, meaning it's somewhat outside her wheelhouse, and I occasionally have to spoon-feed her the details."

"I am not accepting scientific critique from someone who learned about the principle of the Cartesian Diver by watching the Hilarious House of Frightenstein!" Karen said somewhat hotly, making her mother giggle and her friends snicker.

"It's very nice of you to look after Remington's tuition, sir," Mike said, diverting the subject from his trolling habits and Janet's promiscuity. "And fixing her car. That thing was a nightmare."

"They told you I did that, hm?" Jonathon mused, looking at the girls.

"No, sir," replied the huge blond man. "But your daughter has offered to get it fixed several times, and Remington kept turning her down. And her grades have slipped slightly, so it wasn't a scholarship thing, and that leaves you and your wife as the likely vector."

"Indeed, very perceptive of you," Jonathon said, nodding before looking at Janet. "So your grades have been slipping, young lady?"

Janet gave Mike a sour look. "Thanks, DeBourne."

"Are you set, good sir?" the patriarch asked, looking back to his newest guest.

Mike smiled and nodded. "Very kind of you to inquire, sir, but my scholarships see to me for my next five incarnations, just in case the Hindus are right."