Mike & Karen Ch. 30

"Well, you and Remington already got your proteins and simple sugar carbs in, so let's see if Theresa can fix you up with something fancy, shall we?" Mike suggested, making the two women blush. They wouldn't have, except for the fact that their little boy was present and heard the whole, sordid exchange. Mike put his arms around the two women and led them down to the main floor and into the informal dining room and kitchen.

Theresa already had a light lunch and some afternoon drinks laid out for them.

***

A limo, heading out of Kleinburg...

"It was really nice to see the old house again, just for a moment," Lisa said as she sat in the back of the vehicle with Karen, the two of them sipping flutes of champagne. Glenda was taking them back to the Bridle Path now. The privacy screen was up, allowing the two old friends to talk comfortably. "I'm sorry I cried when I saw it was empty, Kar."

The bronze-haired beauty smiled warmly. "I still get teary-eyed when I'm in there these days, darling. It is jarring for you, no doubt. Yes, you knew we've moved to the Manor, but the last time you were here, we were still living in the house. Big changes."

"Even though he hasn't changed, the biggest one for me so far is Alex, I guess," the redhead mused, sipping the fizzy liquid in her crystal flute. Yup, definitely the world's worst proletarian. "He's grown up to be so amazing, Kar. I just... he's kinda perfect, isn't he?"

"Barring inheriting his father's sense of humour," Karen sighed, shaking her head. "He's about to be nineteen, and I still haven't managed to condition it out of him."

"Yeah," Lisa said quietly, looking down at her lap now. "That's in May."

Karen smiled. "You want to be here for his birthday, don't you? You're just not sure if you can be. You promised Donna you'd be home after the housewarming."

"What should I do, Kar?" Lisa asked, looking up finally. "I mean, our little man turning nineteen isn't nothing, you know."

Another warm smile. "Of course you're welcome to stay as long as you choose, Lisa, but I can't decide for you. There are no alternate realities out there where it would be my place to do it. If you need to go home early, then just spend as much time with Alex as you can. He'll appreciate it."

Lisa wiped at her eye. "I know..."

The drive continued in silence for a while before Lisa spoke again. "Thanks for gettin' me out shopping, Kar. I knew that it had to be done, I was just being a stubborn doofus. Constant activism in Boise and Kuna kinda hard-wired my mindset, I guess. Money and spending it are the enemy, y'know. All that crap."

"I doubt anyone could ever make the mighty Lisa Heyman-Blefary believe in or take on a cause she had no conviction in," Karen pointed out with a smirk. "Besides, you looked very fetching in that tartan skirt we picked up."

"Yeah, even for us that was quite a bit of shopping," Lisa agreed, nodding. "Y'certainly kept me busy."

Then she thought about something and her eyes narrowed. "Were you gettin' me out of the place and away from anything I shouldn't know about?"

Karen laughed. "Who or what would I be keeping you from, silly? You've already seen your nephew, you already knew Janet and Mona were going to be here, and you've seen Jordan. Who do I have left to spring on you except Roddy or your cousin Shmuel?"

"Okay, point," Lisa allowed. "You wouldn't spring Roddy Jerkwell on me, and please tell me my cousin Shmooey isn't coming."

"Shmooey isn't coming," Karen confirmed. "You just really needed a new wardrobe for this, darling."

"Which sucks, because I can't even take any of it home," the redhead moped. "That sorta clothing has no place in my life in Idaho."

"Then it will simply be put away and ready for the next time you visit," Karen reasoned.

"Yeah. Next time..." Lisa said rather distantly, looking down at her drink in her lap again.

***

Alex was sitting and laughing with his dad and his aunts in the informal dining room, having a light lunch. Light being a relative term, of course, since if you were a DeBourne man, you took a lot of feeding. Mike and Alex powered through some leftover brisket, made into sandwiches, while Janet and Mona were noshing on some salads Theresa had made.

Alexa had expressed some concern about the naked door prank, because she thought she might miss something fun happening on the cameras. Alex told her not to worry; when she knew when the food was arriving, he would make sure to distract everyone from doing anything important. He already had his mother's and father's agreement and cooperation, so she was free to get naked for some random stranger as necessary.

Sucks to be that guy, Alex thought, smirking. Yeah, he gets a glimpse of her naked, but she comes home to me every night and I make love to her. She's the ultimate flex. No idea how I got this lucky...

"Alex? Hellooooo, earth to Alex," Mona said, smirking at him. "Where did you fly off to?"

"He was thinkin' about a hot girl," Janet said, smiling slyly. "I've seen that look on his face before. I recognize it. Thinkin' about your li'l girlfriend naked, big guy?"

"Maybe," he copped with shrug. "Plenty of hot girls in and outta here all the time, though. Did dad tell you he and mom have been in touch with Miss Fischer again?"

"Omigosh, Becky?" Mona exclaimed, looking at Mike. "That big-titted blonde student of yours who was amazing at physics?"

Mike nodded, impressed by his son's easy redirection of the conversation topic, instantly getting his aunts focused somewhere else. "Yes, we've been back in touch with her, and she's even visited here."

"What's she now, in her late twenties?" Janet mused before giving Alex a sly smile. "Is she your sexy new girlfriend, hon? Y'got a thing for older women?"

"I like to think my girl's somehow even hotter than Becky," Alex laughed. "Mom and dad got Becky to agree to work at the university with them. She'll start teaching in the fall."

"That's awesome," Mona said, nodding. She'd liked Becky the few times she'd met the girl, and had been impressed by her, not least by her amazing figure and good looks. She had a brain to match her body, and a wicked right hook. "Is she coming to the housewarming? I'd love to see her again."

"She'll be at both housewarmings, actually," Mike explained. "Like everyone else, I'm pretty sure she's looking forward to the second, less tedious one more."

"Yeah, but the first one is so damn important," Janet pointed out once she was done laughing. "Kar's gonna run the whole show for her family, officially. First time in a thousand-year history for a woman. Are you sure we can't see the portrait?"

Mike shook his head. "Only Alex and I have seen it. That's how it's staying until its unveiling ladies."

"Fiiiiiiiine," both women sighed, rolling their eyes for dramatic effect.

Seconds later, Karen strolled into the dining room, followed by Lisa. Dave and Tunde hurried by, taking Lisa's new wardrobe up to the third floor, to deposit outside her accommodations.

"So, what did we miss?" Karen asked, giving a subtle shake of her head to let Theresa know that she and Lisa didn't need to be seen to at the moment. The chef nodded and went back to preparing dinner.

"Dad and I were just telling Aunts Mona and Janet about Becky starting to work at the university, come the fall," Alex told her, standing up as his mom and Lisa entered the room.

"Oh, gosh, I remember her," Lisa said, her eyes darting back and forth on the floor while she scanned her memory banks. "Tall blonde, big boobies, and a mean right hook? Alex had a huge crush on her, yes?"

"I mean, yeah, d'you blame me?" Alex reasoned with a shrug while Janet and Mona snickered. "And before you ask, Aunt Li, no, she's not my new, secret girlfriend."

"Okay, but y'couldn't do much better than her, I reckon," Lisa said simply.

Alex, Mike, and Karen all thought the same thing instantly. These three women would find out soon enough how wrong Lisa was.

"If everyone is finished with their gustatory offerings, what say we show you ladies the guest room?" Karen suggested. They all agreed readily, and the little troupe headed out, picking up Jordan along the way and going upstairs. Jordan protested the need for any assistance, but finally allowed Janet and Mona to hold his elbows gently while they all ascended to the residential floor.

The guest room the girls traditionally stayed in was one in the main hall, large enough for them to all fit in, but also not excessively large, like one of the four VIP suites. It felt comfy, and that was all they cared about. Mike unlocked the door and gestured for the women to enter.

They all squealed in delight, seeing that pillows and cushions had been spread all around. The largest cluster, in the middle of the room, was many pillows and cushions deep, because Mona, Janet, and Lisa had made a habit of sleeping together in the pillow piles snuggling together in ultimate comfort. They were all excited to see the preparations, which looked as perfect as ever.

"We'll leave you three to get moved in and organized," Mike said while Alex moved his aunts' luggage into the room. "We'll check on you in a bit..."

The four of them walked down the hallway together, finally turning down the hall toward master suite east. Karen smiled at the two men in her life. "So, how easy has it been to keep them from turning the place upside down, snooping?"

"Predictably easy," Alex replied. "Even just distracting them about Miss Fischer did the trick. How about Aunt Li?"

"She is relieved to know that we are not surprising her with your uncle Roddy, and that her cousin Shmooey will not be in attendance."

"Too bad, I like that guy," Alex chuckled. "He's funny, like Aunt Li."

"Prone to panicking and a total klutz," Mike posited, making his wife giggle.

"Is their surprise ready in the closet?" she asked, looking up at him now.

He nodded. "They'll find it when they're unpacking. Give it some time, Gordon. Trust me, we'll know."

Back in the guest room...

"I can't believe how good it feels to be back here," Janet breathed, unpacking her toiletries. They had an en suite bathroom, big enough for them to all put their supplies away, and two of them could comfortably cleanse and even shower. Three, if they didn't mind getting snuggly. "Looks like they even got a bunch of new cushions and throw pillows for us."

"Yeah, but our favourites are still here, too," Lisa said brightly, holding up a plush pillow that had an old gold and brocade feel to it. "This one was always my fave, I loved huggin' this one when I fell asleep."

"I guess I'm gonna ask a question straight up and hope it isn't too awkward," Mona said, turning to look at her redheaded friend now. "Li, is it okay for you to stay with us? You're the married one now. We don't wanna pressure you, or make you feel unwelcome. I guess we just don't know what to expect."

"I've been wonderin' that too," Lisa said rather heavily, lowering the pillow and looking at the piles that made up their habitual bed. "I... I dunno. Hard to imagine Donna bein' okay with it."

"Didn't Mike and Kar say they set up the room right next door for you, in case you felt like you couldn't?" Janet asked, turning to look now as well.

"Yeah, and that was real nice of them," Lisa admitted, still at a loss. She'd thought about this so much, and was no closer to a solution or an answer. "Thing is, I want to crash with you like I always do. This is our tradition, y'know? I mean, okay, I'm married, so if I do stay, I'm wearin' pajamas, I can't be naked. But it's not like you guys're waitin' to have sex with me the minute I lie down, right? If I can't trust you guys, who can I trust?"

Silence for a few seconds before Mona spoke. "Honey, we can't decide for you. But we'll support whatever decision you make."

Mona and Janet both moved in and put their arms around Lisa now. "We're your best friends, whether you're in here with us or not."

Lisa felt her eyes sting, but she smiled. "Anybody gonna think less of me if I pretend to stay in the other room as far as Donna's concerned, but I crash in here?"

Mona and Janet both snickered, still holding her. "No, silly. Whatever you decide, we weren't kidding."

"I guess I'll move most of my stuff into the other room, just keep my jammies in here, then," she announced, smiling. She wasn't interested in completely doing away with tradition, after all. "Gimme a sec..."

They continued eagerly unpacking, chatting gaily about things that had happened to each of them, laughing about Janet's issues with her ex-husbands, Mona's last visit to an animation convention, and a few activist disasters Lisa had endured in Idaho. Before long, they were getting ready to use the big closet to hang their clothes in. Lisa went first, kneeling down on the floor to put some shoes away when she found a cardboard box with their names on it.

She frowned and put her fingers under the rim to pull it open. The wardrobe light was on, and she peered at the contents.

"Holy chihuahuas," she breathed, her eyes going wide. She wiggled back out of the closet on her knees, bringing the box with her. "Guys?"

They both paused what they were doing and looked at her. She stood up and turned, holding the box out for inspection.

"Look what I just found..." she said quietly, but with excitement mounting in her voice.

***

The security office...

"So, y'got a crush on any of 'em yet?" Andrea asked, sitting in a chair off to the side while she watched Ari work. He was prepping the system to accommodate their phones. The challenge would be Mrs. Heyman-Blefary's since he was pretty sure that phone she carried was older than he was.

"Hello, gay, remember?" he replied, laughing. "I don't get hard for girls, bitch."

"I didn't ask if they made you horny, I asked if you had a crush on any of them," the tall, rangy blonde woman pointed out. "Different thing entirely. I've kinda got the hots for Mona, complete with lady boner."

"I don't blame you," Ari said easily. "She's very pretty, yeah. So's the lawyer, actually. They both are. I'm willin' to bet if I really bond with any of 'em, though, it's gonna be the redhead, Lisa."

"Because you're both gay?" asked Andrea.

"Not likely," he mused. "Frankly, bein' a gay man is really different from bein' a lesbian, based on my experiences and conversations. No, we're both Jewish, even if I'm an Israeli and she's Yiddish. We're both agnostic Jews, so we've got that in common. That, and overbearing Jewish mothers."

"Sounds like my German grandmother," Andrea laughed. "She ran our family until she died. I was told she escaped Nazi Germany as a kid, but she brought some of the crazy with her."

"Passed it on, too, because you're nuts," he teased, testing an algorithm. Andrea giggled and nudged him with the toe of her work boot. "Whaddya think of the countess' sister, Millie?"

"Oh, she's great," Andrea said, nodding and leaning back in her chair while she stretched her arms over her head. This thrust her ample tits forward beneath her overalls, and in the reflection of his screen, even Ari couldn't help but stare. He hoped he would never be required to choose between who on the staff had the best tits, Andrea or Val. That was a terrible decision to have to make. "She's so much quieter and... less work... than the countess. I don't meant that Lady Greymoor is high-maint, but I feel like I always have to be on around her, y'know? I can be lazy, laid-back and almost disappear around her younger sister."

"And she's nowhere near as likely to try and get us killed, I reckon," Ari added somewhat grimly. None of them had really recovered yet from the night that they all took Jenny Penrose out for a night on the town and they all ended up in the hospital. "The only downside to Millie is that she had to bring that stupid kid with her."

"Ugh, right?" Andrea grunted, shaking her head. "He's already tried to steal a few of my tank tops, like he did with Val and her bra and bodice. Luckily for me, I cover a lot more ground than she does at a full gallop, the little twerp couldn't outrun me."

"Whaddya doin' later, after all the kerfuffle dies down when they see the countess?" he asked.

She shrugged. "Got a standing invite to join Glenda and Val for some naked hookah in Glenda's pad. The only drawback to goin' is that Glenda's gonna try to read some more of that Cora Scarlett stuff to me."

"Yeah, she's tried that on me too," Ari laughed. "I love Glenda, but the romance novel stuff is a big ask."

"Not to mention Prospero's gonna try and shave you," Andrea added.

"Unfortunately for her, I'm already shaved down there, smooth as any girl," he quipped, grinning.

"I know, doofus, I've seen you naked a zillion times before," she laughed. "We shared a room, remember? I've seen your twinkscaping. It's hot, by the way. I know you're gay and all, but still, hot."

"Thanks, slut," he said cheerfully. "You're not so bad yourself. If I was gonna have a hetero experience, I'd probs pick you, because you could squash me."

"I'll keep that in mind!" she laughed as she stood up and then threw her arms around her co-worker from behind, hugging her him tight.

***

Upstairs...

Mike and Karen were walking down the hallway, hearing the squeals of delight and all the cackling coming from the guest suite. Even louder was the cheesy music that was playing.

"You've come a long way baby

From my old neighborhood.

Just like a movie star

You sure are looking good.

Fancy uptown friends

And bright new cars that take you far.

But the boy I used to know

Is where I wanna go.

I know you've come a long way baby.

You're not the boy I used to know.

But if you want me for your lady,

You've still got a way to go.

You've still got a way to go.

You've still got a way to go on!"

They stopped in the doorway and just watched the antics as the music blared out into the hallway from the boombox sitting on a dresser. The old cassette in the player kept rolling while the three women danced, bounced, and cavorted around the room with abandon, pretending to play instruments like guitars, drums, and even tambourines.

Stranger still, they were all wearing skintight outfits, yellow-orange with white fronts, leopard spots all over them, and long, floppy tails trailing away from their butts. The large, fluffy kitty ears atop their heads matched the outfits.

"I see you three are having dignified fun," Karen quipped, leaning in the doorway, smirking.

"Oh my God, Kar!" Mona had to almost shout over the music while she paused dancing. Janet and Lisa kept going, dancing with each other. "I had no idea you still had these! All these years! At least twenty! Are these actually the original Pussycat outfits we all made?!"

"Material from the originals, as much as could be salvaged, has been incorporated into the outfits," Karen said, thrilled to see how excited they all were. Those outfits had been such fun all those years ago. So many amazing memories for them all. "Each of your outfits has material from your originals, between a third and a half."

"Oh, thank God," Lisa cackled. "So none of DeBourne's old jizz stains on Janet's outfits are in my suit now, right?"

"You should be so lucky, Red," Janet shot back, laughing gaily, the music still blaring. She fell into the role of pretending to be Melody, playing air drums, while Lisa was playing some absurd air guitar. "I can't believe you went to this kinda trouble, Princess!"

"How could I not?" Karen asked, her voice warm with bliss. "But thank Michael, it was his idea to restore them for this get-together."