tagNonHumanMine...Yours Pt. 10

Mine...Yours Pt. 10

bypayenbrant©

Author's Note:

Whew! So glad to be back writing! Well, it seems that most of you all liked the last story, now let me answer some questions 1. No...you may not have my love child! As flattering as it is to have people say they want to have my children, I require that you at least take me to dinner first. Possibly some dancing will be involved. 2. My inspiration for the story comes from the same place all inspiration comes from...too much caffeine, my own personal life, the lives of friends and family and an overactive imagination. 3. Yes, I will write this story all the way to the end. I have my outline all the way written out to the words "The End." It will happen.

My poor editor, Real Life really pulled their attention hard! So this story has some, only some of their editing help and the rest was done by a good friend who knows more about words than I do.

So thank you for reading, I hope you continue to enjoy my story.

This part of my story is dedicated to bearslady, for more than one reason and bearslady only knows two of the reasons why. There are three more reasons but I will never tell!


Chapter 27: Feelings

I walked quickly through my fence's gate and crossed the front yard in a straight line for the front door. I could hear Lucretia clumping quickly behind me to keep up. It always made me smile in the past to hear her try to keep up without running when I walk fast. It annoyed her to no end that she had a hard time keeping up with me when she was in her human form! Especially when she was so much taller than me in her battle form. The events that just happened a minute ago in the Gatewatch's house curved back to the forefront of my mind and I grit my teeth while my grin disappeared...

Judge Michael Roberts is Hildy's father!

I slammed open my door and for the first time I ignored all the changes that had been taking place in my home. The carpet in the living room where there once had been plywood floors. Drywall now painted and clean, bookshelves on two sides of the living room with a flat screen TV on the opposite side. I walked through the living room back through Lucretia's room, which was now furnished as a guest room. She still called it "Her Room" but spent most of her time with me in my room. She only used it now when she didn't want to go to work with me at night, or when she just wanted some time to herself, which didn't seem to often.

I walked past her bed and her desk that she insisted on having. Lucretia never read on her bed, she insisted that was for sleeping and a desk was for reading. I absently noticed that she now had four shelf stereo systems set at the four corners of the room. Four! After she got two of them, I asked her to explain why she needed more but I still didn't really understand. I opened the sliding glass door and walked out onto the back porch that was newly made out of recycled plastic. It never needed paint, and I could pressure wash it easily to clean it. Also after our first meeting between Lucretia and I, she seemed to feel a mild sense of discomfort on wooden porches, especially when I would lean on the railing.

I walked off the back porch and slowly paced in the back yard. The fruit trees had been pruned, the leaves raked, the grass cut, and the storage shed painted. The house itself had been covered in vinyl siding that was a mild blue and then trimmed in white, and the roof had been repaired. Everything was really coming together; it didn't look at all like the dilapidated wreck of a couple months ago...

And I wanted to burn it down! I wanted to run around it with a gas can and touch it off and watch it cave in on itself and become a smoking pile of rubble! Then I wanted to blow a hole the size of a tangerine in Judge Michael's forehead and shit in the hole! Then I wanted to hunt down every single person that so much as gave me a cross-eyed look and give them a bitch slap with a brick! I want them to suffer and hurt! They need to hurt...They need to HURT...THEY NEED TO HURT AND FEEL WHAT I HAVE HAD TO...

"Master...?" I heard Lucretia say my name urgently behind me. I snarled as I whipped my head around to stare at her. She had changed to full battle ready. Six feet tall, at least two hundred pounds of lean frame that was immensely stronger than it looked. Black claws and long talon like spurs, her wings flexed and almost shivered as her mouth opened in a silent pant. Her head was tilted, almost bird-like, as she regarded me with a mixture of curiosity, apprehension, and excitement.

"...Who do we...kill...Master?" Lucretia asked between slow breaths. Her tongue licked her lower lip and her right hand squeezed her breast before sliding over her stomach. My eyebrows raised and all thoughts of violence fled in surprise at her question. Who do we...what...kill? I don't want to kill anyone, well, honestly I was letting those thoughts rage out of control for a little bit there, but I would never actually want to kill anyone. I had planned on going down to the basement and working out to get rid of those aggressive feelings. That followed by a good shower and a nap then go to work and come home with maybe a pizza or something. Lucretia liked the all vegetarian with white sauce and bacon instead of tomatoes. Truth be told I liked it too. However seeing Lucretia all ready to declare war kinda killed those emotions in me. And now she is looking at me like...like...

"Gregory you are so...RAAH!" She almost wailed in frustrated rage. She eyed me, looking me up and down from the toes of my shoes to the hair on my head. Then turned and stalked back into the house, changing as she walked without even bothering with clothes and I saw her cute rosy ass cheeks as she opened and then slammed shut the sliding room door to her room while giving me a baleful look over her shoulder. Then she closed the curtains and I heard another faint yell of frustration. I could just see her flopping on her bed and clutching a pillow to her face as she yelled into it in my mind's eye!

Now what got her tail tied in a knot? I walked up to the sliding door and gently knocked on it.

"Go away!" Came the immediate reply. I thought about forcing my way in but a couple of things stopped me. Yes, this was my house and I make the rules and I don't appreciate being kept out of somewhere in my own home. This was Lucretia's room though; I had given it to her for her to use and to have space to herself. I had to respect that and give her space if she needed it. She had done very well in obeying me and in learning all the little lessons I had been teaching. As bad as I wanted to find out what was wrong and fix it, I needed to let her come to me. Or...is this a test? Does she want me to go in and try to talk to her? Or...

A man could go crazy understanding women...and Lucretia is a succubae! I decided to go downstairs into the basement and work out.

My basement was left alone during the remodel. The workers were told not to go down, and the door was kept locked at all times. For some reason I enjoyed using my homemade workout equipment, and scavenged mirrors. I fell into my regular routine of running in place, stretching, isometrics and then using my weights. Then I began practicing my forms...some people call them "Katas" but I have never really been big on ceremony in that regard. I was really working up a sweat so I took my shirt off and then caught my reflection in the mirror. I looked different, very different! I must have lost at least 10 pounds!

A shiver ran up my spine as I realized my extra camouflage weight was slipping. I guess working out with Lucretia was a good weight loss program, but I can't afford this. I need my extra padding so I look soft and doughy, if I am attacked I need that element of surprise. I was just heading up the stairs to raid the freezer for ice cream when Lucretia met me on the steps and pushed me back with a hot stare!

"You can't do this to me Gregory!" She snarled through gritted teeth. Her eyes were black in her human face and her claws on the tips of her fingers kept trying to grow.

"I have been good, haven't I?" She asked as she began to pace in my basement. I just watched her, letting her spout. She came up to one of my hanging bags as she stalked by and negligently hit it...hard! The canvas strap tore loose with a pop from the stitching and the bag fell from the chain to hit the floor. Lucretia kicked it, sending it rolling and tumbling to the far wall.

"I haven't killed or drained anyone...though I had cause. I followed your rules...but you can't tempt me like this!" She told me in a frustrated tone. Her eyes turned back to look at me and the black began to fade, and then it rushed back in until they were dark inky pools. She shuddered and clutched her stomach. I came closer and filled with concern I put my hand on her shoulder. She backed away quickly and then stood with fists clenched.

"Don't touch me! Not yet...you are my ...friend, my Master. But not...not right now!" She panted.

"What is wrong? Lucretia if you don't tell me what's up I am still in the dark over here." I asked in exasperation.

My succubus fidgeted and then used both hands to rub her arms crossing them over her body as if she was cold.

"I feel your emotions, and I have new emotions to add to the few that I do have..." She paused, considering her words.

"I am surrounded by food, I can just reach out and drain anyone I see. I have been distracted from it by having all of these new feelings to explore and understand."

She took several steps closer to me and looked me right in my eyes. "I end things, I destroy...it is who and what I am. I have suppressed that with all of the distractions but feeling what you felt, the white hot heat of it...I...I...oh GREG!" She turned and began pacing again her fists clenched and rose squeezing the sides of her head.

"I want to kill something!" She moaned. "I need to sink my teeth into an enemy and feel that energy slither down into me! I need to do it! And when I felt your rage I thought I was going to be able to satisfy that need...and then, it went away! IT just LEFT!" That last sentence ended in a wail as she punched my heavy bag and broke the seam along its side and saw dust began spilling out through the tear.

"I don't know how to turn it off Greg! Master...I don't know how to put it away!" Her hands clutched her throat, stroking it and then squeezing.

"Help me...please?" she whispered.

How in the...? Hello! You are going to ask the guy with a Door that for all intents and purposes I locked myself away from, I guess myself? I am sooooo not the right person to field this. I am a case study myself for bottling tendencies, how can I help her. I hurt for her, because I know what it is like to suppress and ignore yourself. Wait, does that mean this entire time....

"Lucretia?" I asked, and she looked at me. "If you want to, why haven't you, uhm...killed anyone? Is it because I told you not to? Is it because of the mixing thing Gwen was talking about, you having my morals?"

She shook her head fiercely, "No, I have free will. I don't because you would be mad at me and...and...because I want to see what happens next."

My mouth fell open, "See what happens next, what do you mean?"

She shuddered and fell to her knees. "If I went and started drinking up all the energy I could you would hate me and not want me and then the Gatewatch would destroy me or send me home..." She panted a few times and then grimaced, still clutching herself.

"I like it here! I like the air, I like the people, and I like having a place that feels like it's mine! I like having a Master who is not a Master, I l...I like you Gregory Bastion Brooks, and I want to stay. But it is so hard and I don't know how to make it stop!"

I dropped to my knees in front of my friend and held her tight. My mind was whirling and jumbled like two mice trying to run on the same wheel in opposite directions. Human emotions pushed into a succubae who is only equipped with the bare necessities of feelings, that must feel like trying to carry Jell-O in a paper napkin. You can do it, only very carefully.

I thought about emotion, what do we do with it? How to control it or channel it? As humans we have a ton of emotions. Guys tend to think more with their heads than their hearts, while gals think more with their hearts than their heads, generally speaking. Would a girl better be able to help Lucretia?

No, I am the one who is here, and I am her Master, Lucretia is my responsibility and my friend. No way am I going to foist her off onto someone else. So what was I originally thinking about? Emotions...channeling...got it. Before all of...THIS happened to me, what did I used to do? My Door inside started to give me grief as I pressed against it. Then suddenly from the back of my mind an old memory long forgotten came to me and it made me smile. I had an idea.

"Lucretia?"

"WH...what?" she responded, still shivering in my arms.

"You never had a problem with your feelings before...why now?" I asked.

"I had so few before, now I have many...so MANY!" she blurted the last, almost yelling it.

"You are still you right? You just have more options than you did before."

She pulled back a little and looked into my face, it was so weird to see black eyes crying.

"All the...options keep crowding in, it's a tangle! I can't pick just one!" she said in a tired voice.

I put my hands on her shoulders and then lifted my left hand to cup her face, my thumb gently trailing along her cheek sliding through her tear tracks.

"Repeat after me...okay...I will help you." I said. I actually wasn't sure if this would help or not, but it was worth a shot, and my heart ached seeing her like this.

When I was younger I loved poetry. It would lift me up and I loved the way the words sounded saying them out loud. If you think about it the poets' way back in the day were the original rap stars of their time. They just didn't have enough of a bass beat to put their words too!

Lucretia's hand came up to hold mine against her face; she closed her eyes and bowed her head. Slowly her hair dissolved and her horns showed and she changed into all grey skin, tail, and wings. Her voice was low and soft but I could hear it even though her head was bowed.

"Speak...my Master."

Then I spoke to her, a poem that helped me a lot when times were hard back in high school. Also later on in my life with work and relations with other people. Maybe it could help my succubus with her troubles.

"Out of the night that covers me, black as the pit from pole to pole.

I thank whatever gods may be for my unconquerable soul."

I said it with a slow rolling cadence, carefully enunciating each word. She paused, and then repeated it. I kept on until the last verse, and I could feel her shivering begin to subside. It actually quit completely and her head rose to look me in the eyes again, a small fierce smile on her face as she spoke.

"It matters not how strait the gate, how charged with punishments the scroll.

I am the Master of MY fate. I am the Captain of MY soul!"

Her finger's trailed my face and her eyes seemed to stare at me searchingly.

"Did you write that, my Greg?" She asked softly.

"I wish!" I chuckled. "It was written by some guy named William Henley who was kind of a sick kid growing up. He wrote it to show that though stuff may beat on you and make you feel bad you are still the one in control of yourself...no one else. I memorized back in school and it has helped me before, I thought it might help you."

Lucretia took her hand from my face and closed her eyes, thinking. "I would like to meet this...Henley. It would be interesting to see what I could learn from him." She looked at me questioningly, "Does he live near here?"

I coughed into my hand, "Actually he is dead, died back in like 1900 or around there. There's books about him, we could go to the library or you could use the Internet to look him up?" Lucretia froze when she heard he was dead, and her eyes began to tear up, then I saw her mouth faintly form the words of the poem and no tears fell. She looked at me in surprise and then threw her grey arms around my neck and kissed me!

"It worked! I am the Master! Not my emotions!" She growled in triumph. I was stunned too. I didn't know if it was going to work, it just felt right to offer it. My next idea was to play Monopoly or Scrabble...anything to take her mind off of what it was on. She scampered back up the stairs and I picked up my shirt. I had just walked up the stairs and decided to take a shower when the doorbell rang. Honestly I really wasn't sure who it would be, but I had a sneaky suspicion Hildy was coming over. If it was her, I didn't know if I wanted to talk to her yet about her dad and all. The problem is that I took so long thinking about it Lucretia opened the door anyway before I could tell her to ignore it.

"Hi!" I heard her say brightly. "Who are you?"

Chapter 28: Judge

I moved to the living room where the front door was and I saw, Judge Roberts. He was standing in the doorway still in his turtleneck and grey suit looking Lucretia over from head to foot.

"Succubus..." he said it in a skilled way that I don't know how to recreate. It was both a greeting and put down all in one. Then he saw me and I could feel, something. Maybe it was because my emotions were still a jumble from helping Lucretia or maybe it was the fact that Hildy and I were getting along again or maybe I still suck at getting my head on straight but I had no idea what I was feeling when I looked at Judge Roberts. I felt pride, fear, annoyance, anger, regret...and a whole bunch of other things. Made no sense to me so I called up my Sight and took a peek.

"May I come in?" the Judge asked calmly.

My Sight told another story. I saw a hulking brown wolf at least a head taller than Hildy's form and it looked like it wanted to take a "Bite out of Crime!" Namely, my chest or neck. As I scanned him I started to see why he was Alpha though. I had also been practicing with my Sight, and I started to recognize different things that it showed me. I could see hundreds of little threads that wafted in from all directions as far as the eye could see and some even from the direction of my neighbors. He was the leader of a very large pack of wolves and that means he is connected to them all. I would have to ask Hildy later about the particulars, but it did seem kind of interesting.

"Are you going to attack me, or try to hurt me like you did in Hildy's home?" I asked dryly. I was mentioning how he had tried to do the hand squeeze in shaking my hand. He shook his head in the negative.

"Speak up Judge, just like in court. Doesn't count unless you say the words your Honor!" Okay, so I was not really all that calm. I couldn't keep all the irritation out of my voice. What the heck was he doing here? Why would he even WANT to be here?

I saw his jaw firm and he said, "I will not harm you or yours while I am in your home or on your property...will that suffice?"

I shrugged. "That's fine, come in...want some coffee?" I was turning into the kitchen when I heard Lucretia growl. I looked over my shoulder and saw her, still in human form standing in the doorway staring up at the Alpha. His eyes had tightened and he had started snarl in return when Lucretia spoke.

"Greg trusts you to keep your word...I do not. I have smelled your kind before Were, and I know how much you value your word!" She spat that last sentence like she had when she spat out a dip of wintergreen tobacco she snuck from my can of chew.

"I am watching you..." she finished quietly and then stood aside for the Judge to pass. He just gave her a toothy grin and stalked passed her to the kitchen where I was pouring a cup of coffee for him.

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