Mirror Mirror

"Me either. I'll just get drunk on your beauty."

"Oh brother."

"Yeah I know that was corny but that doesn't mean it's incorrect."

"You're sweet when you're corny. See you then."

I had dinner with Rachel Friday night and during the meal she asked me, "When are you going to do something with that house?" I rolled my eyes and tried to decide how to respond to her when she asked, "What?"

"Excuse me?"

"You just rolled your eyes when I asked you about that house."

"Oh sorry it's because it seems everybody is asking me about that thing lately."

"Well it's stupid for you not to live there instead of that little place you're in now."

"Stupid?"

"You know what I mean. Instead of your four rooms you could have seven with two baths and tons of storage room."

"That's true I could but it isn't that simple."

"Why not?"

"It just isn't, now could we talk about something else?" I wasn't about to go into all of that with her because she was a 'show me the truth' kind of person that

would never buy into my mirror problems. "You're kind of touchy about something as simple as real estate."

"Some things just push my buttons okay?" I paused and then said, "Sorry I guess I'm just tired out. I've been working my ass off the last few weeks and it's taking a toll on me I guess."

"Well that and you're seeing somebody else too."

"Oh and how would you know about that?"

"We have a lot of the same friends and acquaintances remember?"

"In other words you won't tell me where you heard the rumor."

"That's right." I decided I wasn't going to confirm or deny the comment about Paige. It was barely accurate to say we were seeing each other. I took Rachel home after dinner and drinks and when we got to her place she said, "You don't have to go in with me Don. I think we would do well to explore other relationships."

"Oh. Well maybe you're right Rachel. Sorry I was such bad company tonight anyway."

"Thanks for dinner."

"You're welcome, take care of yourself."

"You too." Well I had been dismissed and there was no doubt about that. I wish she would have said something sooner so I could have saved the seventy five bucks I'd just spent on our dinner and drinks. It figures, it was my turn to buy.

I worked part of Saturday and then rested until it was time to shower and get ready for dinner. Paige was almost on time so we had a few minutes before we had to leave and she asked me, "Was there a particular reason you never told Merle and Renee about your mirror experience?"

"Yeah, I didn't want to be laughed at."

"And yet you told me."

"I knew you wouldn't laugh."

"I don't think they would either."

"Are you saying I should tell them?"

"That's up to you to decide of course but...yes I think you should trust your best friends."

"I don't know."

"Would you mind if I sort of explored it a little?"

"How?"

"Sort of come in the side door I guess you could say."

I thought about it a second and then nodded. "I guess that would be okay but you better come to my defense if they crack up."

"If they do then I'd have to question just how good they are as friends."

"I trust your judgment."

"I'll be careful I promise."

We met Merle and Renee at the local Steak and Ale and settled in for a few beverages and dinner. I always liked Renee but try as she might she was always a little to the point when she brought something up. "Don have you quit seeing Rachel?"

Merle looked at her and said, "Well shit Renee that was about rude."

She flushed and said, "I'm sorry, I guess that was in poor taste."

I just smiled and gave in. "I'm not seeing her anymore."

She looked at Paige then and said, "I'm sorry Paige I don't know what I was thinking."

Paige almost laughed at my discomfort and said, "That's okay Renee I liked his answer." At that moment I felt a little like I was as exposed as I would have been had I stood up in the restaurant in my underwear. Merle just smiled and shook his head. He knew what Renee was like and he loved her but he could wring her neck when she blurted something out like that. I just gave Merle a knowing look and we moved on. Our conversation was a little less exciting until after dinner and we were on our second after dinner drink.

I could almost feel Paige waiting for the right moment and then she asked Renee, "Have you ever had one of those moments where something happened that made your hair stand up."

"You mean kind of spooky?"

"Not so spooky as unexplainable. For example one time I was alone and could have sworn I heard somebody say something. When I turned to look I saw something falling and I ducked just in time. Had I not heard that mysterious voice I would have been hurt. Another time I was driving home quite late at night and fell asleep at the wheel. I suddenly heard somebody shout my name and I jerked awake just in time to avoid a bridge abutment. That voice saved my life that night."

"Oh Paige that is so strange but yes I know just what you mean. It's like somebody or something tries to look out for us."

"Yes something like that."

"And like that show...um, Physic Detectives. I mean a couple of those people are incredible. They get signs or something that guides them. I think it would be so wonderful to be able to do that to help people."

Merle added his thoughts saying, "Yeah I watch Physic Detectives all the time. Damn they can be good. I mean that one guy, I can't think of his name, Phil something. Anyway he has to be one of the best of that whole group. I agree with Renee, it would be awesome to have the ability to do that."

Paige turned to me and asked me, "What about you Don have you ever experienced anything like that?"

*

Chapter Seven

I looked at Paige and smiled in admiration. She had indeed walked in through the side door. "Okay I'm going to tell you a story. I'm going to tell you why I'm afraid of the old house." I thought Renee was going to fall out of her chair from leaning forward so far and Merle stared at me in anticipation. I told them of Mom's large dressing mirror and explained how she would stand in front of it to adjust her dress or check her hair or whatever. That mirror was special to her, partly because she'd always wanted one and partly because my dad had bought it for her. I tried to take my time and talked about how I tried to accept what had happened to them and make myself get on with my life. Then I told them of the day that I was in their bedroom for reasons I couldn't remember at the moment and continued with, "When I looked into that mirror my image wasn't there. Instead I saw soft hazy shapes moving like they were trying to coalesce into an image but couldn't quite make it."

Before I could continue Renee, almost drooling said, "Oh my God Don."

Merle looked at her and said, "Shhh!" and then looked back at me as I continued.

"I was about to piss my pants but I made myself watch it for some reason. It was almost in black and white and I had the sense that it was people or at least a person that was in the mirror but I'm just guessing. I gave up and ran out of the bedroom and haven't been back in there since."

Merle almost whispered, "Holy shit." Paige put her hand on my arm and smiled but kept silent.

Renee on the other hand was fairly bubbling. "Oh my God Don you just have to go back in there and see what they're trying to tell you."

"They who Renee?"

"I don't know who or whatever it was that you saw. It was a message of some kind."

"Or the workings of my grief stricken mind or something I ate or whatever."

"Or your subconscious trying to show you something. Whatever it is you need to find out."

"I don't think so."

"Paige talk to him. I knew there was a strong reason for just abandoning that house. Now we know and something can be done."

"What do you mean done Renee" Paige asked.

"To help Don, to free him from those fears, to make it so he can go back home."

Paige just rubbed her hand on my arm softly and said, "That is all up to him. I can't imagine what it must have been like to experience that. I was in that

bedroom and though I saw nothing in the mirror I still felt the hair on the back of my neck stand up, just knowing what had taken place there."

"You were in there?"

"Yes."

"You are so brave."

I didn't want to spend the rest of the evening talking about my visions so I said, "Let's move on shall we? I don't expect ghosts or spirits to come talk to me and reveal great secrets or whatever."

It was Renee again saying, "Okay Don but could we talk about it again. I'm absolutely convinced you are meant to see or know something important."

"And I'm convinced I've had enough to drink tonight." We paid our bills and walked out into the cool night air and talked in the parking lot. The fresh air did wonders for me and in a joking tone I said, "One of these days all of us will go over there and we'll do some exploring."

There was Renee again. "Oh yes that's perfect. We'll even help clean it up and put it right again." I gave Renee a hug and then said goodbye and Paige and we headed home.

We rode in silence for a minute and then Paige laughed. "You had Renee going that's for sure."

"You were right, they accepted it."

"Merle accepted it but Renee embraced it."

"That's a good way to put it." I looked at her and reached over to her. "Paige honey, you were magnificent the way you brought that up. You could cut it off at anytime and nobody would have been the wiser for it. You protected me right to the end just like you said you would."

"I'm glad you approve. It did go rather well but then with Renee's enthusiasm it was pretty easy."

"I must bow to your skills."

We were back at my place and settled in the only place there was for us to sit other than the kitchen table and Paige turned to me. "Don you know as unique as Renee can be she's right about something."

"What's that?" "You do need to go back over there and if we all went we could clean it all up and at the same time maybe, just maybe make it easier for you to face the demons or whatever you want to call them. You really could go home just as she said."

"For a woman that can be pretty ditsy sometimes, Renee surprised me with her speech."

"At the very least it couldn't hurt and I think your parents would really appreciate it being cleaned up."

"You're really teaming up with Renee."

"I don't know about that but...well I'm just saying what I think."

"You know what I think?"

"What?"

"I think I really like you and I think I want to kiss you right now." She smiled and fell into my arms and we kissed for some time after that.

Even though we didn't talk about the old house again, after Paige left I did think about it. They were all correct of course. Even Rachel, as blunt as she had been was correct. I had to either face what was in that house or sell it or

something. Neglecting it wasn't the solution to the situation and on top of that I really did have to either move into the old house, build another one or buy something. Not having any room or even a living room or guest room was no way to live anymore.

I called Paige on Wednesday and told her, "Okay, lunch and wine in the old house, one o'clock Saturday."

"Are you serious?"

"I am serious."

"Then I'm bringing lunch."

"Okay I'll bring the wine."

"Don't forget to call Merle and Renee. She'd never forgive you if you didn't invite her."

"I'll call right now and leave them a message."

"Don I'm so glad you're doing this."

"I'll apologize right now if I end up acting like a frightened child."

"Don't worry about it. Maybe we'll have to try more than once but so what? You will win in the end and I'm certain of that." I knew after having been in the house with Paige before that I could do it and I had to think having Renee and Merle there would help in one way or another. If I stayed busy cleaning it would keep my mind from wandering into weird areas too, but by Sunday my courage was faltering. I was still determined to give it my best try though.

Come Saturday I was standing in front of the old house when Paige arrived and she came up the walk with a big smile and a large basket of food. I met her part way and we took her load up to the porch and set it next to the wine and waited for Renee and Merle. When they pulled up Renee was a good ten feet ahead of Merle as they came up the walk and you could see her enthusiasm from far away. Once we were all gathered at the porch I pulled the key out and said, "We'll have to clean for awhile before we can eat. It's just too dusty and dirty in there to do otherwise."

After opening the door the four of us went in and stood in the living room and looked around like we were seeing it for the first time. We left the food and wine in the entryway and as the others looked around I found all of the cleaning supplies and sweeper in the oversized broom closet just off the kitchen. "Okay everybody here are the tools we'll need."

Paige said, "Don you and I can do the kitchen for starters." Renee and Merle took the living room and dining room and the four of us bent to our tasks. I took the stepstool and worked the top half and Paige started right behind me doing the lower half. And so it went as we worked our way around and out of the kitchen leaving it sparkling and fresh. By then the other two had swept dusted and mopped until they had finished those two rooms. We washed up and for the first time since well before my parents were murdered I had a meal at that dining room table as Paige and Renee served the food and wine. So far I was doing okay. I wasn't anywhere near ready to spend a night there but I felt I had conquered something just by doing what we had done. I also knew that the worst part was still to come for me.

*

Chapter Eight

We had our meal and lingered over wine and talked and I toasted my friends for their support and assistance. Then I took a deep breath and literally biting my lower lip said, "Paige and I will do the two downstairs bedrooms." Paige looked at me in total surprise but I continued. "Merle if you and Renee would do the bedroom and bathroom upstairs that would be great."

"Sure no problem, this is going very fast actually." With one last taste of wine I got up and the two teams split up and before long I heard the vacuum running upstairs. Paige and I were in the guest room and were almost done except for sweeping and that would have to wait until the other two came back down.

"Don there are clothes in the closet would you like me to take them out?"

"That's probably their off season stuff. Yeah let's do that."

"I'll take care of it if you'll do the baseboards."

"I can do that and thanks." I was hoping Merle and Renee would come down and I'd have an excuse to take a break between rooms but they didn't and in no time I had run out of excuses not to go into Mom and Dad's room. I stood in the doorway and Paige had her arm around me as best she could and we stood there as I looked in for the first time in nearly a year. I hit the light switch and bathed the room in soft golden light from the one lamp that still worked. The dresser drawers were still askew and things were piled on top of the dresser and the chest of drawers. The bedstead was still there but the springs and mattress were gone and the carpet had been thoroughly scrubbed and sanitized according to the report from the restoration company. I didn't even look at the mirror as I managed to say, "Would you take care of the clothes and just pile them in the hall for right now?"

"Of course." She still had her arm around me and we progressed a few feet into the room as she continued. "Honey just stick with me for right now okay?"

"Yeah okay." I focused all of my attention on Paige and even noticed a lot of what she tossed into the hallway.

Mom's and Dad's undergarments and personal things were added to the pile and then she said, "That's it for right now. I'll dust next."

"Okay." I felt like a small retarded child, barely functional and yet I could feel determination seeping into me like reinforcements had arrived just in the nick of time. Or at least that's what I thought. I stopped Paige and took her in my arms and cried like a baby with long racking sobs as she held me close without saying anything. I had cried before more than once in fact but not like that. Not the deep soul cleansing cry that made my knees weak. Paige pulled out her last usable cleaning rag and handed it to me for a hanky and I started to catch my breath but the tears just kept coming for several more minutes.

I didn't apologize for my loss of control nor did she act like I should. She continued to hold me and I noticed that she was softly crying along with me.

I shared a dry corner of the rag and wiped her eyes dry as we just stood there with her supporting me far more than I was supporting her. I wasn't even aware that the upstairs sweeping and cleaning sounds had long since stopped. I took another deep breath and moved back enough so I could look at Paige and we shared thin smiles as I continued to get control and her eyes slowly dried. We both sniffed several times and almost laughed as our bodies relaxed from the stress of grief and the tremendous calm that was coming over me as that grief dissipated. With one last deep breath I simply said, "Wow." "It's been a long time coming hasn't it."

"I guess so."

"Want to call it a day?"

"Not unless you want to. I'm okay now I think."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Will you look at the mirror with me?"

"Oh Don do you really want to?" "I really need to hon." "Then by all means yes." If I could have crawled into Paige's skin I would have. I held her so close I was afraid I might hurt her but she held onto me and we turned to face that five foot high oval of glass and tooled mahogany. We took a few steps toward it and just stared at it. I don't know even now if I was daring it to show me something or hoping it would. But we continued to stare at it until I was beginning to think I was going crazy. Then I saw the movement. It started at the very bottom and slowly swirled like a very dense fog curling up from the forest floor. There was a hint of color but it was mostly varying shades of gray. If I was still breathing I was totally unaware of it. I pulled Paige even closer to me not even knowing if she could see what I was witnessing.

The rising and rolling of the colored fog gradually filled about half of the mirror and I was able to pick out a little definition but it was like whatever was causing it to happen just didn't have the strength or wisdom to take it farther. I don't know how long we stood there watching but we stayed with it until it slowly slipped down and it disappeared altogether and we were looking at our reflection in the dirty mirror. Paige looked up and me with questioning eyes and I just embraced her as all manner of emotions boiled inside of me. Love, appreciation, fear, curiosity and admiration of her bravery and determination to stay by my side.

She finally stepped away from me and got the cleaner and washed the mirror. It was then that we realized just how thick the film of dust and grime coated the glass. Then returning to my side she asked me, "Want to go out and see the others and have some wine?"

"Let's do that." We found Merle and Renee at the table with wine in front of them and I poured two glasses for Paige and me. We sat down and I sighed deeply from relief and exhaustion.

Renee was watching us closely until Paige asked, "How'd it go for you two?"

"We're done. Well short of washing the bed linens and window coverings we are. How did it go for you two?"

"The kitchen is done and...well I guess we're done too except for sweeping the two bedroom carpets."