Missed 02: Ffordes Castle

Copyright Oggbashan June 2020

The author asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.

This is a work of fiction. The events described here are imaginary; the settings and characters are fictitious and are not intended to represent specific places or living persons.

This is a sequel to Missed: Fenian Outrage.

*************************************************

Felicity's father gave us Ffordes Castle and its estate as a dowry for Felicity. I had intended that we should set up home in a new house built on my father's estate but that would take years. My father had suggested the Dower house but that was still occupied by his mother who looked set for many years of fit life. Neither she nor my mother were keen on my grandmother sharing the family home, large as it is, because they have different ideas on how a household should be run. They get on very well when living apart but close, but the two of them under the same roof causes friction.

Ffordes Castle was antique and the estate had been neglected as very few of the Ffordes family ever went there. Mrs Simkins, Felicity's old nurse and her daughters Rose and Hazel, looked after the small castle itself. The estate's agent was based at Wantsumford Manor, thirty miles away, and only visited about once a month. A resident owner could make a real difference to how the estate was run and make improvements. I had a large income from my father and a capital sum that had been intended to build the new house.

Mrs Simkins and her daughters welcomed us effusively even if they made me blush by calling me Prudence sometimes instead of Mister Frederick. I couldn't preserve my dignity as the new owner when all four women had known and worked me hard as a maidservant drudge of all work. However my few days working as Prudence had made me well aware of how hard maidservants had to work at Ffordes Castle.

Felicity and I agreed that one of the first things we needed to do was clear the woodland that was very close to Ffordes Castle's moat. The leaves, and even some fallen branches, had clogged the moat. I paid some of the farm labourers to fell the trees and stack much of the timber to mature for building and the offcuts for fires.

I remembered how hard it had been for me, as Prudence, to clean and relay the sixteen fireplaces each morning. I had them all fitted with closed stoves, most of which burned wood but some used coal. I also changed Mrs Simkins' old kitchen stove, wood-burning with an open grate, by a modern coal burning range. That range also provided hot water to the new plumbing. The old garderobe I had used as Prudence became a bathroom with running hot and cold water, a flushing toilet and an above-bath shower. There were three other bathrooms. The major change was to install a steam central heating system run from a wood and coal burning furnace in one of the old buildings. That meant that most of the new stoves rarely had to be lit.

I replaced the bridge to the Postern door with a much wider structure with railings on either side. That became the main family entrance, with the drawbridge reserved for trade deliveries and guests. Felicity and I would often leave by the postern to walk around the estate and see how works were progressing. The postern was still secure with an iron sheathed door held shut by a wrought iron draw bar. Although attackers could now approach that door, it opened outwards. A battering ram would not breach it, and because it was recessed into the castle's wall, it couldn't be levered open. It was totally unnecessary in the mid-19th Century but even without raising the main drawbridge; once the main door was shut we were safe from anything except an army with modern artillery.

The down side of living at Ffordes Castle is that my new wife Felicity and Mrs Simkins' daughters, Rose and Hazel, all knew I had been dressed as a maid on my previous visit. Because I was the same size as Felicity, and her twin brother, Graham, they used me as a mannequin for Felicity's dresses and for dressmaking of new clothes for her. Felicity had sometimes used Graham as a human mannequin when they were adults for adjusting the final fit of new dresses, but her husband was more available.

All three of them thought I needed practice to walk like a fashionable lady. I showed too much ankle when wearing a larger crinoline. I had been acceptable as the maid-of-all-work Prudence in a narrow skirt, but as the lady's maid Abigail, wearing a smallish crinoline, I hadn't walked as I should. Despite my protests, they often trussed me up in a tight corset and made me wear a dress ballooned out by a large crinoline in which I had to walk and climb stairs decorously.

When dressed as a lady, they called me Fortuna. Felicity was named after one of the attributes of the Roman Goddess Fortuna. As Fortuna, I was expected to behave as a fashionable lady and pretend to be a visitor to Ffordes Castle. Frequently I was expected to make polite conversation, in a higher pitched voice, while drinking a dish of tea.

Felicity, Rose, Hazel and Mrs Simkins all criticised my performance as Fortuna. After a few weeks practise they were satisfied that I could behave and move acceptably.

I was embarrassed when Graham arrived unexpectedly when I was dressed as Fortuna about three months after our marriage. Unlike when I had been Prudence, he didn't laugh at me because he had a serious message.

"Frederick/Fortuna," he said, "You are at risk again. There has been a Fenian assassination attempt on an Irish member of the House of Lords. Fortunately the assassin was using an old flintlock musket that failed to fire and he was arrested. But - and this what concerns you - he was linked to the organisers of that meeting in Oxford. Everyone who attended that meeting is now being sought as potential co-conspirators. A list has been published in today's Police Gazette and that list includes you."

"Oh shit!" I said, forgetting to use my Fortuna voice.

"Oh shit, indeed," Graham continued. My father, yours, and Lord Edmundsbury are trying to get your name removed from the list of suspects but your whereabouts are known. The notice of your marriage to Felicity in The Times included that you would be living at Ffordes Castle. I came here as fast as I could but I would expect an official search to reach here within hours, long before your innocence could be established."

"You can't be seen as Fortuna," Felicity said. "Fortuna doesn't exist and the simplest enquiry would establish that. She ought to be in the lists of gentry and nobility and she isn't. Given time, maybe we could construct a back story for her that would survive investigation but we haven't got that time. I'm afraid you'll have to be Prudence again."

"Prudence?" I exclaimed.

"Yes, Prudence." Felicity said, "Prudence was here the last time the Police came. If she is seen again no one would query her existence. A clumsy, poorly educated farm worker's daughter learning to be a downstairs maid is beneath notice. And if, as last time, you open the main door, the Police would not expect the man they are seeking to be the first person they see."

"But they know I should be here. Unlike last time they will be looking for me by name not an anonymous Fenian. So where am I, Felicity?"

Felicity and Graham looked at each other.

"You can't be with your parents or at Wantsumford Manor," Graham said slowly. "If you're not here those will the next places they'll look."

"Great-Uncle Simon!" Felicity said suddenly.

"Yes, that would be an idea," Graham said, "Although one would expect both of you to visit together."

"Maybe I intend to follow next week when 'the curse' has ended?" Felicity suggested.

"Who the hell is Great-Uncle Simon?" I asked in my normal voice, forgetting to be Fortuna.

"You should know," Felicity said, "He sent us a wedding present."

"So did dozens of your relations I haven't met yet," I objected.

"But you should remember, Frederick. He sent us half a dozen cases of cognac and you had to pay more duty because he hadn't paid enough."

"I remember paying the duty but not who the cognac was from," I said.

"We're wasting time," Mrs Simkins said suddenly. "If Frederick is to be Prudence he needs to change NOW! The Police may be at the door in minutes."

Felicity, Hazel and Rose rushed me into our bedroom. Within seconds they had stripped me and thrown Prudence's shabby dress over my head. My wig as Fortuna had been rumpled and shoved under the old grey mob-cap. Hazel smeared some soot from the fireplace around the new stove over my face, enough to make it look as if I had been working on the fires.

"His hands won't do," Rose said, "and we haven't got enough time for him to roughen them. I'll get the gloves I use when shifting coal."

Rose was back within minutes with coal stained and disreputable leather gloves. They were slightly too small but they pulled them on my hands. They were so tight I couldn't remove them by myself. Once I was fully equipped as Prudence we went back to Mrs Simkins and Graham.

Mrs Simkins approved of my transformation.

"OK, Prudence. If someone rings the bell, come with me to open the doors. When they are inside, off you go to stoke the central heating boiler and stay out of sight until I yell for you to shut the main door. OK?"

"Yes, Mrs Simkins." I said meekly in a Prudence voice.

"OK. Graham and I have agreed what we will say to the Police if and when they arrive. If they do, Graham will prime Felicity while Prudence and I are opening the main door."

Mrs Simkins might have said more but she was interrupted by the clanging of the doorbell.

"Come on, Prudence," she said. "You're wanted as a door opener."

As before I heaved the main door open to reveal a Police sergeant and two other Policemen.

"We're looking for Mr Frederick," the sergeant announced.

"He's not here at the moment," Mrs Simkins said. "Come in and we'll explain. Prudence? The boiler needs stoking."

I dropped a curtsey and went off to the boiler room. I put some coal in the boiler, which didn't really need it, and shovelled some of the coal closer to the boiler. I was covering myself in coal dust unnecessarily but when the Police left I would be showing signs of my work.

Half an hour later Mrs Simkins yelled for Prudence to come to the main door. As I pushed at the door shut the Sergeant asked:

"How is Prudence getting on?"

"Quite well. She'll never be a lady's maid but she is very useful," Mrs Simkins replied.

"Goodbye, Mrs Simkins. Goodbye, Prudence," the sergeant said.

I didn't say anything but dropped another curtsey before finally shutting the door. I followed Mrs Simkins back into the gatehouse.

"Well done, everyone," Mrs Simkins said. "Prudence? We told the Sergeant that Mr Frederick was not a Fenian and was ejected from the meeting for objecting to the Chairman's insulting remarks about the Royal Family and that the two fathers and Lord Edmundsbury were getting Frederick's name removed from the list of those wanted. The Sergeant still has to apprehend Mr Frederick if he finds him. We told him that Mr Frederick had gone to Paris to see Great-Uncle Simon. He had gone a few days before Felicity because Great-Uncle Simon wanted to show Mr Frederick some of the delights of Paris unsuitable for ladies. Felicity blushed very well at that point. We also said that Great-Uncle Simon wanted to send his mistresses - Felicity blushed again - to his country estate before Felicity arrived.

Felicity had delayed travelling because of the curse - one of the younger policemen blushed then - and would be travelling to Paris next week escorted by her brother. The Sergeant accepted that Frederick wasn't here but until his name is formally removed from that list, he would be arrested if found and now the channel ports will be watched for his return from Paris. We told him that we didn't expect Frederick to return for a month at least."

"But since Frederick isn't actually in Paris," Felicity said, "Watching the channel ports will be fruitless."

"However, Prudence," Graham continued, "having said that Frederick is visiting Great-Uncle Simon and that Felicity and I will be joining him there - we'll have to go to Paris next week. We hope Frederick's name can be cleared shortly. Until it is, Prudence will have to stay in character at Ffordes Castle. Even if our fathers and Lord Edmundsbury convince the authorities that Frederick is not a desperate Fenian it will probably take a week for an amendment to be printed in the Police Gazette."

"A week?" I protested.

"At least a week, assuming the representations are successful," Graham said. "It would be better to assume a month."

"Blast! Being Prudence is bad enough, but if I'm supposed to be in Paris I can't run the estate and there is so much going on."

"I think there is a way around that, Prudence," Mrs Simkins said slowly. "You could write to me from Paris and tell me to pass on your instructions."

"And how do I write from Paris when I'm here as Prudence?" I asked.

"That's simple," Mrs Simkins said. "Felicity and Graham write to me from Paris using envelopes, not folded pieces of paper. They use your seal on the envelopes but Prudence can write the apparent contents."

"There would be a delay between asking and answering, maybe three of four days, but you could still run things, Prudence."

"It probably isn't wholly necessary to go as far as using envelopes from Paris unless you want to change things drastically, Prudence," Mrs Simkins continued. "No one is likely to ask and I could say I had used the envelopes to light a fire. If you write now what you want done while you are apparently away, I could take the letter to the people actually doing the work. As long as they get paid they're unlikely to query your instructions."

"Where is your seal, Frederick?" Graham asked

I held up my gloved hands.

On my finger, inside these," I replied.

It took Hazel several minutes to get the tight gloves off. I took my seal ring off my finger and gave it to Felicity.

"Thank you, Frederick and Prudence," she said. "I'll write to Mrs Simkins every day from Paris. Until I go, you can instruct people through me, acting for you on your apparent written instructions from France."

"I won't like being Prudence," I said. "Is it really necessary? The Police won't be back if they think I'm in France."

"The Police might not be, but if you are seen as Frederick by anyone except us," Mrs Simkins said, "that might get to them. You don't have to live as hard as you did the first time. Apart from anything else, modernising the castle has made the work easier. You'd have to dress and act as Prudence but gloves on your hands would be ample. Not those gloves. They're too small. I'm sure we can find larger ones. The locals don't know of a Prudence, daughter of a local farmworker, so you'll have to be from the Wantsumford Manor estate. But you'll have to be Prudence during daylight hours."

I sighed.

"Never mind, Prudence. You can stop being Prudence at night when we're together," Felicity said.

"But we haven't been married long and you're off to Paris," I complained.

"So could you be - with me next year, Prudence, when the authorities don't think Frederick is a murderous Fenian."

"How can I return from Paris when I've never been there?" I asked.

"That's easy," Mrs Simkins said. "You don't need a passport. If you go to Dover and catch the ferry to Calais as someone else, you could meet Felicity and Graham in Calais and return as yourself - when you are no longer on the wanted list."

"How about as your cousin, George?" Felicity asked. "He was at our wedding but left to stay with your Scottish relations until the grouse shooting season. He'll be in Scotland for months yet so you could pretend to be him at Dover and on the ferry."

"I don't look anything like George," I objected. "He is six inches taller than me and weighs half as much again."

"Maybe, but who in Dover would know?" Felicity said.

+++

The next few days as Prudence were a lot easier than the first time. I could shave with my own sharp razor in a bathroom with hot water. I didn't have to roughen my hands because I wore dirty gloves all the time. During the first time as Prudence Rose and Hazel had made more permanent and realistic breast shapes for me to wear. I still had to get up hours before Felicity but the stoves, only a few of which were in use, were much easier to deal with than sixteen open fireplaces. Each morning, before leaving the bedroom, I would wipe my gloves across my face to add some grime but I didn't need to do more. The Police knew of me as Prudence and as they thought Frederick was in Paris they would be unlikely to return. If they did, Prudence would be there to open the door for them and I doubt they would look closely at her as a person already known to them.

In bed each night I could be the recently married Frederick enjoying beside my wife.

On the second night, having stopped being Prudence, I said:

"Felicity, you're supposed to be waiting to go to Paris until you get over 'the curse'. But you haven't got it."

Felicity rolled over to hug and kiss me.

"No. I haven't. Do you know why?"

"No. Should I?"

"Yes. Frederick. It's your fault. I'm pregnant."

"You are? That's fantastic."

"Fantastic? Of course I'm pleased but I have some morning sickness. I'm worried about crossing from Dover to Calais when the sea is rough."

"I'm sorry you have morning sickness..."

"Sorry? It's your fault, Frederick/Prudence. It's a shame Prudence can't get pregnant to appreciate how I feel."

"What I was going to say, Felicity, is that you could wait at Dover until it is a calm day. There are some reasonable hotels there and we're not short of money."

"You might not be, Frederick, but I haven't any money. I have to use yours."

I laughed at her which made her annoyed.

"Felicity, my love, you didn't take any notice of our marriage settlement, did you?"

"Only that my father gave us Ffordes Castle..."

"But as part of that, I agreed to pay you an allowance, some might call it pin money, for you to spend on yourself. It started with a lump sum and now you get money paid into your bank account each month. If you didn't know you had it, presumably you haven't spent it. You can easily afford to stay in the best hotel in Dover."

"How much, Frederick?"

"The lump sum was five thousand guineas. The annual allowance, paid monthly, is three thousand guineas paid as two hundred and fifty guineas a month."

"You can afford that much, Frederick?"

"That is just for you to spend as you like. Most expenses will be paid by me. My income varies according to the rent receipts. In a bad year I get about twenty thousand guineas, and your allowance doesn't come out of that but dower lands..,"

"So I've married a very rich man, Frederick?"

"Yes, even if he has to spend the next few weeks pretending to be Prudence, an incompetent maid."

"And I love you, Frederick, even when you are Prudence or Fortuna. Which reminds me. Fortuna doesn't exist but I have thought of someone you can be."

"Who?"

"My distant cousin Lady Hester."

"Lady Hester? Isn't she in Turkey?"

"Yes, and she is likely to stay there. She is known as Ayesha, Hanımefendi İngiliz and doesn't use her English name. She lives in the desert as a warlord with hundreds of warriors with her. She is unlikely to ever come back to England but we could pretend she visits us and you could be her. The only thing you might need to do is learn some Turkish. Then Fortuna could be Lady Hester and have a real existence. It doesn't stop the necessity for you being Prudence for the next few weeks because she would only visit when I am at home."

"That sounds practical - except for the Turkish, Felicity."