Missing Her

How many years ago has it been? I took my private journals and re-read them. And what I am writing now is taken both from memory and from the events as they were recorded shortly after they occurred. This is not fiction but real events. When I have completed this, I will have a bonfire in my back yard and all these books will be destroy and there will be no record of our private endeavors.

My wife died about 4 years ago. Forty-six years is a long time, but I enjoyed every one of them. Adjusting to life without her has been quite difficult. Grandkids come by off and on to check on me now and then and my daughters stop by frequently. Last year near Christmas I had another heart attack and now it is getting hard for me to keep this old place up and running.

But I was a young man when this happened. Maybe not really young, but I was young enough to muster a serious hard-on when time came. And on the week-ends when I was with my wife, we had a serious hormonal exchanges. This story tells the one time we allowed an indiscretion to come into our lives.

Looking back, it had been a long week being both mom and dad to our three kids. But Friday had arrived. The kids and I loaded up and headed west soon as they got off the bus. We had been doing this for months it seemed; same routine every week. Sunday night came, we all loaded up and made the drive back.

But this week something different had gone on. With my wife so far away, we stayed in contact via an ICQ Chatroom on our home computers. Tuesday night something happened. My wife asked me if I knew a certain guy. He had contacted her and requested an add stating they had been friends long ago.

I heard the name before somewhere but could not put a face to him. Gradually message after message came up on my screen. It appeared to be a man my wife had gone to school with years ago. And as I read more I learned more of their association.

It seemed this guy had dated my wife's best friend in high school. But there was more to it. They had fixed my wife a blind double date. It had gone rather boring for them and at the end of it, both her date and her best friend were dropped off at home.

Then this guy headed to take my wife home. But on the way he pulled off on a side road and parked. There, he made a play for her. Actually it was more than a play. After the first kiss or two both of them shed their clothes and fucked there in the front seat of his car.

With their passions sated, he drove her to her house and dropped her off. They didn't see each other again. But her best friend accused her of fucking her boyfriend. Even though it was true she was quick to deny it.

Years passed, and they finished school. Well my wife eloped and never returned. That marriage failed, and she was working one night when my brother and I stopped to eat. That was where we met. The rest is history. A lightening passionate laced affair led to an early marriage and three kids later, she is caring for an ailing in-law 400 miles from home..

Yet, when her old friend popped up like he did, she didn't know what to think. Actually, at first, she didn't know who it was and was afraid to reply to his comment. He was persistent in chatting with her and finally he dropped a name she knew. That began the conversations.

At first, things were easy going. He made subtle jokes tinted lightly with sexual overtures but nothing too heavy. And gradually it increased. Then he reminded her of that double date they shared so many years before. That after dropping off her blind date and best friend, that on the way home they stopped off on a dark country side road to share a passionate interlude.

As the little notes and chats came in, my wife forwarded them to me. And I read each of them carefully I realized what he was up to. In one he suggested he come by to see her and while there, they might share some sweet intimacies.

He was smooth, slick as owl shit on a rainy day. Using our separation and her lack of intimacy as an excuse, he suggested coming by to take care of her intimate feminine needs. But the way he laced it, made it seem funny. Seems everything he came up with was laced with intimate and suggestive sexual tones.

My wife gracefully declined his suggestions and forwarded them on to me. Then he came up with one about a threesome and made it seem so outrageously funny one couldn't help but break out laughing. Guess curiosity got the best of me so here we were.

That last invitation was just to meet at the hotel, have a few drinks, laugh, talk about kids they went to school with and look over some old school albums. Nothing had to go any further unless we all agreed we wanted it and then only if a set of rules could be set for all. So, I was inclined to agree, we would come meet him.

The kids and I rolled into town late that Friday night. My wife and I discussed this whole scenario all week and what could go down ever since it came up. She imagined several right off that she would be done by two guys at once. Another was I would leave her alone with a man to do to her whatever he wanted. Not happening. In fact, I started to turn the van around several times on the way to the hotel.

After dropping the kids at their grandma's, my wife climbed in the van and we pulled away. Pulling around to the apartment complex entrance I stopped and asked her what she thought.

She just said, 'Stay close to me.'

I reached under her dress, slipped the band of her panties aside and ran a finger into her vulva. She was well lubricated and ready for anything that might try to visit there. She laughed when I said, 'You're hotter than a firecracker!' And she was too, it had been years since I felt that much cream from her. She was extremely nervous. Ever since she got in the van she had been biting her lower lip and acting slightly odd.

When we pulled in at the hotel, I parked under the canopy, got out and strolled in. At the desk, I asked for her friend's room. The clerk gave me a card key and said 'He's been expecting you.' I walked back to the van, and moved it in to a parking spot and my wife and I got out.

The hotel was almost new, even the smell said it had not been in use long. We walked through the foyer and passed the desk to a bank of elevators on the right. I carried the room key and waited for the doors to open. A tone announced the elevator had arrived and when the door opened, I waited for my wife to enter, and I followed.

As the door began to close, my wife pressed number 2 on the control console and the elevator began to rise. Moments later, the floor was announced, and the door opened. My wife hesitated a second then stepped out and I followed. Slowly we made our way down the corridor watching for the room number. When it appeared, we both stopped before it and I asked, 'Well, are you ready?'

She didn't immediately answer but stared at me, her breathing steady but a little faster than normal. Her eyes were dilated, and her upper lip drawn into what I felt was a superficial smile revealing a mouth full of clean even white teeth. The exposed skin of her breast revealed hints and traces of color. I knew she was nervous and she certainly was excited. Finally, she nodded 'yes'.

She gripped my arm as I knocked and inserted the card key. A green light indicated the door had unlocked. We pushed the door open and stepped into the foyer. To the right was a vanity and bathroom. But straight ahead strolling to us was a middle-aged man, slight pudgy and nearly bald.

He was clean shaven and well dressed, he embraced my wife, calling her by her first name then turned and greeted me, telling me how lucky I was as if I didn't already know it. He guided me on into the room while she strolled on past to the curtains against the back wall. She pulled them out and gazed outside and finally said 'This is nice.'

Just to the right was a king-size bed and on the wall the television was on but clearly muted. We walked over to a round metal table by the curtains and pulled out the chairs. On the table were several yearbooks and as my wife took a seat she picked up one and thumbed through it.

She almost screamed and said, 'Here is Sherry and there I am!' pointing to two young girls who could not have been more than twelve years old. Her friend pointed out pictures of one kid then another, taking time to tell a short story on what happened to one or the other and if he knew where they were now.

The next album she picked up, she thumbed through in deep thought. Clearly this was the one that brought the most memories. Finally, she came to her picture, a stunningly beautiful young woman on the breach of adulthood still yet still tottering in uncertainty of what her place in the world would be. He quickly pointed out Sherry also and said, 'This was about the time of our double date.'

Her friend stood and walked to the vanity where he removed a bottle of Crown, three glasses and on his return grabbed the ice bucket beneath the television. Each of us fixed a glass of ice, filled our glasses half full then topped them off with Cola. My wife finished hers in seconds and was ready for another.

Small talk followed with questions about our families, our children, where we all had been and where we were headed in life. Then our talk came down to the reason we were there. Gradually, the ground rules were discussed, each individually and fully agreed upon. If any time someone even started to utter the word 'Stop' everything would come to an immediate halt.

I think it was nerves that prompted her to consume it so fast. I enjoyed mine as did her friend and by the time we finished our first she already had a second down. I fixed her third as I refilled my second and handed the bottle to her friend. I could tell the drinks had did what she wanted.

She seemed far more relaxed and ready for what was to come. Myself, I was still apprehensive even after the drinks. I was unsure how I would react to seeing this man's cock disappear into my wife.

Several times, I almost got up took her hand and walked out. But my wife seemed excited about seeing her old friend again and really seemed to be prepared and looking forward to what was yet to come. Even after two stiff drinks, I was still uncertain about what was going to happen.

Finally, the talk grew more sexual and more private but with an air of humor in it. I mean his demeanor put you at ease, he made funny little jokes tinted with sexual overtones and light- hearted suggestions. My wife now had finished her third drink and I could tell the Crown did its job. She was ready for anything. She was the first to agree to fuck then asked what I thought.

What I thought at that time didn't matter. All week long this had been building, and nothing was going to quench her lust and satiate her hunger except what caused this fervor in the first place.

I watched her closely, how she laughed at his jokes and just over-all how she behaved. I knew with certainty in a few short minutes she would be in a state of complete undress and engaged in one of the most intimate of acts between a man and a woman. Still she was beautiful with her long dark hair pulled back.

The dress she wore highlighted and accented every part of her feminine physique. Sleeveless, it was button up the front with a 'V' which revealed a small portion of the cleavage of her bosom. It was all I could do not to stop and suckle while driving over. Her knees were exposed yet her hose gave her nice shapely legs a sensuous and erotic aura.

Sitting there with a drink in hand and watching her laugh and enjoying the moment I felt hunger for her. Truth be known, an erection grew within my loins and a desire to be in her built within.

The small sensuous jokes and talk continued. I felt oblivious to my wife like, she hardly noticed me or that I was there.

She had kicked off her heels and I watched as she raised the hem of her dress to roll her hose off as her friend suggested who would go first with her. The sight was tantalizingly erotic, and my wife seemed lost deep in the moment. Every so often she would pause between laughs, only to bite her lower lip. As her friend's stories continued, she would erupt in more laughter.

After all discussions were over, after all the small talk and details how this was going to go, and everyone had agreed to the terms, I stood and moved toward the door. She stood and eased to the edge of the bed. Her friend had already removed his shirt earlier and now he peeled out of his dark slacks.

'I'm going to get another mixer' I said. 'I'll be right back.' I opened the door, started into the hall and paused. My erection was clearly visible, so I closed the door and moved back closer to the partition near the sofa. My groin ached, my balls screamed for relief, but I stood silently, giving my wife time she needed. Would she go through with this? I didn't know.

And would I allow it to continue? When or would I put a stop to it before he ground himself into her? He moved slowly about the room, shut off a number of the lamps casting the room into a state of semi-darkness. But the room and the bed was still bathed in a blue tint, light emanating from the television. He picked up a remote control and pressed a button. Soft romantic music flowed from the speakers.

My wife stood at the side of the bed, as the music played she slowly un-buttoned her dress. She slipped it from her shoulders, dropped it lower and stepped out of it. After placing it aside on a chair, she slowly removed her slip, and this too she placed on her dress. I watched as she turned and stood before him. For a few minutes, I thought she was going to grab her dress and head for the door.

He moved to her, only in his boxers now with a huge bulge in front. In the dim light I saw her staring at it. As he grew closer, her hand moved to his chest stopped him and she started to speak. But he shushed her, grasped her hand and moved it to his lips. With a series of kisses, the wrist first, his lips moved down her arms to her shoulders then her neck. I moved slowly to the other side of the room and stood in the corner shadows by the curtains.

Her breasts heaved, her face tilted toward the ceiling as the kisses around her neck continued. Moments later, her breasts fell as he removed her bra. I started to stop it, I stepped forward. This has gone too far. Then I heard it, a sound that indicated shear wondrous pleasure, a groan followed by equally sensuous moan. It stopped me in my tracks and silenced me.

His hands now roamed my wife's body. They slowly caressed her back, then softly her breasts and now moved over her bikini panties. His hands groped her buttocks then moved softly to her hips then slipped between her legs. The kisses on her neck also moved, now they were focused on her lips, but both passionately exchanged tongues.

The hand between her legs began to move and caress her. Each time it caressed her mound she seemed to move lower and her hips thrusted forward slightly. Yet, he continued to massage her then he stopped. The hand slipped into the waistband of her panties, disappeared. Yet I watched it beneath the fabric move between her legs.

Then his hand moved again, slightly shifted then it moved again. This time she released a low guttural sound as her forehead settled on his should. I knew his fingers were exploring all the tender wonderful secrets only she and I had shared these last few years. I tried to stop it, but I was frozen in time and fate seemed to have stolen my voice.

I trembled as his hands then moved to the waistband of her panties. He rolled them down off her hips, slowly pushing them down her shapely legs. A beautiful dark triangular patch of hair clearly exposed, what I once called my private playground now someone else roamed there. As her panties touched her ankles, she gracefully stepped out of them.

He then started kissing my wife's neck, then slowly dropped lower, her shoulders then paused at her breast, taking time on each hard-erect nipple protruding in the night, his lips payed serious attention as his tongue darted out to tease and play at them. Slowly he eased lower, his kisses now concentrated on her belly button then even lower into my playground.

My heart pounded. I wanted it to stopped but my voice was muted. I couldn't move nor could I voice my protest. He continued with his kisses, with his exploration. Her hands rested on his shoulders and her head tilted slightly upward, her long dark hair cascaded in curls down her back. He moved lower then his attention was focused between her legs. In the dim light I saw his tongue move into her pubis, and I knew he now was massaging her clit.

I prayed she would stop him but instead she rolled her head further back as his assault in her vulva continued. He gripped her hips firmly and continued, his tongue darting wildly into that dark jungle.

Finally, his hands moved to the cheeks of her buttocks. As he fed at my wife's wonderful garden he tugged them forward and she noticeably rolled her hips. He shifted then pushed his face further between his legs, his mouth opened, and I knew his snake was exploring the recesses of my wife.

Suddenly, she gasped, her head went back as her hands gripped his shoulders harder. Her hips thrust her pubis forward and she shuddered under his explorations. She gasped loudly, and her head twisted back and forth on her shoulders, her tongue protruded from her mouth and she bit on it. I knew that reaction well, very well. She had just cummed.

My heart pounded and raced as I watched. She trembled and leaned further back, as her hand left his shoulders to steady herself on the bed. He moved away from her as she eased down on the mattress. I heard him whisper 'You are so intoxicating...so very beautiful!' He was right, she was extremely beautiful especially in the throes of such passion.

She laid there completely nude before him, her buttocks resting on the edge of the mattress, her shapely legs splayed open before him and hanging off the bed, knees slightly bent, her breasts rising and falling rapidly with each breath.

He took her knees and pushed them up while moving his face closer to her tush. Then his tongue darted onto her clit rapidly punishing it then slipped lower to her vagina. I watched it disappear in her. She rolled her hips to this assault and moaned softly. As he continued, she arched her back suddenly and gasped loudly. Biting her tongue once again and rolled her head back. She had cummed once more. She tried futilely to stop his head by tightening her knees and thighs, by trapping his head to prevent further play.

Finally, he released her leg and she dropped them to the floor. He stood, and as he stared down at her she watched him. I watched them, from the corner of the room. Her eyes fixated on his waist as he unsnapped his shorts. When he dropped them, her eyes seemed to like what she saw but a bit surprised at it. She glanced back up at him then back to what stood boldly waiting her.

From my corner I also saw it. Not as good as she did but I saw it. His cock was skewed off to the right in a slight curve. But it was the head of it that stood out most. Shaped somewhat like an overgrown acorn but more slanted mushroom like on top. He moved and grasped her knees, raised and pushed them up and moved closer. As he leaned over her his cock swung in near her slit and he began kissing her breasts, easing up, closer to her.

Then a hand snaked down, grasp his cock and pushed it over into her slit. With a sudden thrust of his hips the head disappeared. I heard her gasp loudly then moan as he entered her, but he didn't stop. He planted it firmly all the way in as she rolled her hips at to receive him.

Here I am, standing here. I just watched my wife's old lover, move into position and fuck her. So what's wrong with me? I tried to stop it. I tried to scream 'NO' but nothing came out. I tried to move but I couldn't.