MoLex Pt. 03

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Monique sat on her couch with tears in her eyes. The clock on the wall said it was after midnight. By now, she had to assume that Alex was not coming over.

In her kitchen, she had a half-cooked spaghetti meal on the stove. Alex was supposed to bring the meat for the sauce. That was the final ingredient. The two of them were supposed to eat together, laugh and talk while they enjoyed each other's company, and then go to her room and make love. After that, they were supposed to fall asleep in each other's arms.

Apparently, THAT wasn't going to happen.

I just had to fuck with Trey! I couldn't just let him go and enjoy my life. I had to be a sadistic bitch about it. I should've known that I can't beat him. He always wins in the end.

Just when she was at her lowest, her buzzer in the kitchen went off, letting her know that someone needed to be let in. Her head snapped up at it as she gasped in surprise.

Rushing over to the box, she pressed the button to talk. "Hello? Alex, is that you?" she asked, not able to keep the desperation from her voice.

"Yeah." he said flatly.

She buzzed him in and unlocked her door. Then, she rushed into the bathroom to fix her face.

Her heart was in her throat. She didn't know what to expect from him. He just witnessed her having sex with another man. Yeah, she wasn't with Alex at the time, so she wasn't cheating on him. But still, the same feelings would be present. She knew she would feel all kinds of hurt if she had to watch him with another woman. Just the thought of him dating Cameron sent her into a mood. If she had to WATCH him doing things with her...

Damn. Her baby had to be hurting.

She heard her front door close. She came out of the bathroom and made her way to the living room just as Alex was shuffle-footing his way towards her couch. He flopped down on it, like all his energy was sapped from his body.

Cautiously, she took the seat next to him. The eerie quiet surrounding them was filled to the brim with unspoken words, feelings that needed a voice, and a scream that went unheard.

She reached for his hand. To her surprise and relief, he didn't pull away. He even squeezed hers in return.

She felt she needed to begin, so she started to talk. "Lexxy..."

"Don't apologize." He abruptly cut her off. "You have nothing to apologize for. You didn't cheat on me. You didn't lie to me. You didn't make porn. You were simply a woman being adventurous with your significant other. Don't you dare feel ashamed of that."

The relief at hearing him say that was enormous. It made her let out a breath she didn't even realize she was holding. The weight that had been dropped on her shoulders over the last few hours had been lifted.

He didn't hate her. He didn't think she was a slut. He understood.

That had to be hard for him. To be so understanding and logical, despite seeing the woman he loved in the throes of passion with another man. But he saw through that. That's something she herself would've been incapable of doing. Had the situations been reversed, and she was forced to watch him in the throes of passion with Cameron, she'd have murdered them both. Fuck logical explanations.

But he was Lexxy. He was so much better than her, and anyone she'd ever dated. He thought SHE was perfect, but he had no idea the pedestal he was set on.

She hugged him, and almost cried when his arms wrapped around her.

It was then that a dark realization started to creep in. She saw herself, secretly texting the guy who brought all this about. She saw the gleeful look on her face as she typed. It was then that she faced a reflection; one that was ugly.

She felt like...a cheater. No, she wasn't unfaithful to Alex. She'd never do that to him. But she had, in fact, gone behind his back with another man and got some sort of emotional fulfillment with him. Her ex, in fact. Yes, it was fueled by hatred, but she still fed on that to the detriment of her relationship.

And, in doing so, she exposed Alex to all this. Even if there was no sexual infidelity, she was still guilty. She didn't deserve his understanding, maybe not even his love.

"Lexxy, bae..."

"What's up?"

After gulping down the lump in her throat, she said, "I have to tell you something..."

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The two argued well into the wee hours of the morning. It was bad. It was brutal.

Alex was pacing a trench into the floor in front of her couch, almost like he was patrolling a station he was guarding. She sat on said couch, Indian style with her legs locked at the ankles. As he paced, his hand anxiously ran through his hair. Like a charging bull, his breath was pushed out of his nose in loud puffs.

She watched him with wary eyes. She wasn't really worried about him getting violent. Her Lexxy wasn't the type to start a domestic violence situation. But she'd never seen him this angry; this hurt.

"Lexxy...I'm so sorry. You have to believe me."

He chuckled humorlessly. "Do I?"

"Yes." She said, casting her eyes downwards. "You are the LAST person in this world I'd ever wanna hurt. If I'd known how much this would blow up, I would've never..."

"Really?" he said, cutting her off while narrowing his eyes cynically. "How could you NOT know? I mean...this is Trey we're talking about."

"I know." she said, her voice barely above a whisper. "I know."

She couldn't look at that pain in his eyes. It was so visceral, so raw. Her assessment of her betrayal feeling like infidelity was right on because she recognized that look. It was one she saw in the mirror for an entire year when she was cheated on.

Alex's feelings were red hot right now. He was trying to keep them contained, but he couldn't. Even her remorseful demeanor wasn't helping.

He stopped in front of her. Looking down at her, he asked, "What were you doing even texting him?"

His question hit her. Hard. It was the same question she'd asked herself a million times. She called Toni earlier tonight, and her best friend asked the exact same thing. And now...

"I don't know." she answered.

"You don't know?"

Finally snapping her eyes back up to look at him, she said, "No. I don't."

He sighed before finally taking a seat on the loveseat perpendicular to the couch they always shared; the one she was now occupying and silently begging him to join her on. He sat on the loveseat, leaning forward with his elbows perched on his knees. His hands were together, interlocked at the fingers. His thumbs were nervously twirling around each other, as if in a dancing orbit.

The ensuing silence threatened to consume them. It was worse than him angrily pacing.

"Lexxy...I..."

But her words trailed off into more silence. She had nothing more than that. The only thing at the tip of her tongue was another apology.

He looked down at his twirling thumbs, almost hypnotized by them. His thoughts were scrambled all over the place, jumping between destinations.

And then...they settled on a question; one he almost dared to not ask.

"Do you still have feelings for him?"

With a horrified expression on her face, she asked, "Who...Trey?"

"Yeah."

She almost wished he were joking. Only that would have made the question less offensive.

"No." she said, almost disgusted by having to say it. "I have no feelings whatsoever."

"Really?"

She was slowly turning from apologetic to indignant. "Of course not!"

He nodded, but it was evident by his face that he didn't believe her. Silence once again fell on them.

Her reaction should've been satisfying. He had no doubt that she meant what she said. But her actual actions spoke volumes differently.

"Soooooo...you secretly text your ex behind my back, hide it from me, and jeopardize our relationship because you have no feelings for him whatsoever. Is that right? I mean...did I miss anything?"

She leaned back into the cushions and crossed her arms. She wanted to get angry, to feel offended. But she knew he had every right to feel the way he felt. Slowly, her arms uncrossed and fell by her sides. Then, she pulled out her phone, tossed it on the coffee table between them, and simply said, "1019."

"Huh?"

"That's the passcode to my phone. All my social media's already signed in. Anytime you wanna look at anything of mine, I'm giving you an open invitation to just grab my phone and look through it."

He looked at her phone laying on the table. His eyes then glanced up at her determined face. His resolve softened a bit, the heat from his anger simmering down to a low boil. Calling her bluff, he grabbed the phone and punched the four digits in.

He half expected her to stop him and grab it back. But she didn't. So, he opened her texts and found Trey's contact.

He glanced up at her to see how she was reacting. She didn't look nervous.

"You do realize it's a bad idea to use your birthday as a passcode, right?" he said, trying to crack a joke.

She gave him a sad smile. "Maybe I should just use yours."

He relented and lightly tossed her phone next to her on the couch. He didn't want to need to do this. The last thing he wanted was a relationship where he had to play warden to his inmate.

Instead of putting the phone away, she brought up her text messages with Trey, put it back on the table, and pushed it back in front of him. What she needed was for him to KNOW that she didn't want Trey.

Her entire face was apologizing as she said, "Please...read them."

Alex let that sit for a moment with no response. He just blew out a contemplative breath through his nose before finally giving in, grabbing the phone, and starting to go through the messages.

She watched his face intently as he scrolled and read. A vague reflection of what he was looking at showed in the lenses of his glasses. His expression was empty and blank.

In some ways, it wasn't as bad as he anticipated. In other ways, however, it was much worse.

Trey's consistent "little dick" jabs hit him were it hurt, especially after witnessing what he was working with. Alex had never even worried about dick size until then. It never even occurred to him. But those videos, and these texts, were seriously stoking a brand-new inferiority complex. Adding that to his other insecurities was a crushing weight.

Alex couldn't see any more of them going back and forth at each other. He once again put the phone down on the coffee table, leaned back into the couch, and wiped his eyes like he had to remove the image of those texts from them.

Monique, who was practically on the edge of her seat with anticipation, couldn't help the sinking feeling of disappointment. She was hoping that actually seeing the interaction would put Alex's mind at ease. She defended him at every stand. She bragged about his skills. She told Trey that she loved Alex, and that he (Trey) would never, EVER, even sniff her pussy again in life.

But the expression on his face showed that he was still uneasy.

"Well?" she asked.

"Well what?"

She uncrossed her legs and scooted across her couch until she was close enough to put her hand on his knee. "Can't you see? There is no way I'd ever get with him. I can't even stand him. I know we have some issues right now, but me getting with him is NOT one of them."

He looked her directly in her eyes. She was gazing back at him, holding contact, and not turning away.

"I believe you." he said after a moment. She let out a breath of relief. However, before a smile could form on her face, he added, "But...I think you need to admit that you aren't over him."

"What?"

He shook his head, a forlorn frown on his face. "Hate isn't the opposite of love, Mo. Disinterest is. Even if you never get with him, you can't deny that you feel SOMETHING for him. I saw it that night at the Casino; the look in your eyes when you saw him. You could have walked out the door with me and Toni, but something compelled you to confront him." (Lexxy Baby, Pt. 07)

"I just didn't want him to think I was running away from him." she said, pleading her case.

"But don't you see?" he countered, almost immediately. "You CARED what he thought. You couldn't leave because you had to win his approval...or respect...or whatever it was you needed from him. This isn't even about the videos anymore. This is about this thing that exists between the two of you. No matter how much you say you're over him, you keep inviting him into your life. Even your little victory one-night stand was about him. You say that you fucked that Craig guy because you were over Trey, but I think you fucked him because you weren't." (Lexxy Baby, Pt. 03)

Her heart dropped when a tear crept out of his eye and slid down his cheek. He shook his head, like he was trying to clear the cobwebs from it.

"No, Lexxy. Listen to me, baby!" she pleaded.

He stood suddenly and brushed her hand from his knee before starting to walk away. He paced once again, but this time there was a resolve in his face.

"Mo, I think..." he started to say, but the words were choked off in his throat. More tears started to make their way down his cheeks.

"No, baby. No..." she said, rising to meet him. Her own tears were making her eyes shimmer with emotion. She stopped his pacing by standing in front of him, and gently grabbing his cheeks with both hands to make him center on her. "Lexxy, baby, look at me. Okay? I need you to look at me."

His eyes found hers, and they spoke. He didn't even have to say it. She could see what he was going to say, even before his mouth opened.

"No. Please..."

By now, his tears were running off his chin. His nose was flaring. His face was red and filled with pain at a horrible decision that had to be made.

"I think...we need to separate, Mo." He finally said, getting those reluctant words out and into the air.

"No, Alex..."

"We need time alone to figure out where we are..."

"No."

"...and what we really want."

"Stop it, Alex!"

Nodding his head at her -- his sad eyes holding a determined look -- he ended with, "You need to figure out what you really want with Trey. I can't keep paying the price behind this thing you can't let go of."

As soon as those words were out, his composure completely broke. He cried, sobbed really, at the reality of what he was doing.

She wrapped him into a hug, both for consoling his pain and hers. He leaned into her and lowered his head into her shoulder. She heard him in her ear, felt his tears on her neck.

"Don't do this, Lexxy." She begged. "Please, don't."

That made him cry harder. Why couldn't she make this easier? Why couldn't she just be some evil bitch who callously fucked her ex behind his back. THAT pain would be easier to process. It would be definite. But this? Having to let her go, knowing she loved him? He felt like he was left with an impossible choice, filled with "what if's". He knew that he was going to regret this decision.

Hell, he regretted it already.

He had to leave. He had to get out of here. So, he shook loose from her hold and started to march towards the door. When she saw where he was headed, she panicked.

"NO, LEXXY! You aren't leaving me! We aren't done talking yet!"

But he wasn't listening to her. He was leaving. So, she practically sprinted over to where he was and grabbed him by the arm to make him stop. But he wouldn't. He didn't stop until she squeezed herself between him and the door and created a human barricade.

"YOU AREN'T GOING ANYWHERE!" she screamed at him.

He stood there, his body sagging underneath its own weight. "Mo, please move." He said, his voice tired and cracking.

"No."

"Please..."

"If you want me moved..." she said, her teary eyes challenging him. "...then you're gonna have to move me."

With that, she did something completely unexpected. She grabbed the bottom hem of her shirt, lifted it over her head, and then threw it off to the side. Then, she hooked her thumbs into the waistband of her shorts and slid them down her legs before kicking them off.

She stood in front of him, completely naked. Alex couldn't help but to roam his eyes over her body.

"So, come on. Move me." she said, leaning her back against the door.

He stepped to her, grabbed her around the waist, and was going to push her over to the side. But the feel of her skin trapped him.

She just stood there watching him. Her arms were submissively down at her sides. Her eyes were locked onto his.

With her voice low, she then said, "I'm yours, Lexxy. I'm not his. Whatever you wanna do to me, right now, you can do. I won't stop you. But I'm not letting you leave me. I will chase you down my hallway naked if I have to."

"Mo, stop this..."

She pushed herself off the door and met his mouth with her own. She kissed him hungrily and desperately, but she did it with her entire body, not just her lips. Her hands held him; one on his shoulder and one at the back of his head. She melted into him, putting his knee between hers as they stood there.

She broke the kiss only to repeat, "Fuck me, Lexxy. Any way you want to. I'm yours."

Suddenly, something primal came over him. A neanderthal emerged from deep within him. He grabbed her harshly, causing her to gasp. Then, he lifted her up by her butt, and carried her to her room.

He threw her on the bed. She giggled as she bounced. He then grabbed her by one of her ankles, pulled her down towards him, and flipped her onto her stomach with her bent over the edge of the mattress.

The balls of her feet pushed against the floor, pushing her ass into the air. Alex kicked his shoes off by grabbing the heel of each with his toes. Monique heard Alex's belt unbuckle behind her, then fall to the floor.

And then...SMACK!

He swatted her ass, making it jiggle underneath his touch. She yelped out in pain, moaned, but stayed put. She waited for what was to come, whether it be penetration or another smack. Her pussy was already wet; had been since he grabbed her at the front door.

This was just like in her dreams, the ones she had where Alex just took her. (Lexxy Baby pt. 07)

Alex thought back to those videos with Trey. He saw how possessive he was of her, and how she submitted to him.

"Is this what you want?" he asked.

"Yes." She said. "I want you to fuck me."

He looked down at his erect cock. He tried not to compare it to Trey's, but he found that he couldn't help it. Comparatively, it was inadequate. Trey was physically his superior in every way.

She must have sensed his thoughts because she turned her head and looked at him. She read the doubt on his face, and she knew why.

Pushing herself up from the bed, she stood in front of him. One of her hands grabbed his erection, which had started to falter, and stroked him.

"I'm yours." She repeated one last time, looking into his eyes, only this time she added, "But you have to TAKE me. You need to know that you're enough for me."

"Am I?" he asked honestly.

"Yes." She said, stroking him faster.

"But...he's bigger. How can you want me after you've had him?"

She smiled at him, like he was a small child who just didn't get it.

"I love you, Lexxy. I love your brain. I love your dorkiness. And...I love your cock. I love everything about you. You are a better man than Trey could ever be. But YOU have to believe that."

Her eyes lowered for a moment before she honestly admitted, "You're right about one thing. Yes, I'm over Trey, but I'm not over what he did to me. I hate what I allowed him to do to me. I hate that I let him control me. But that's why I love you so much. You AREN'T him."

"Then... stop trying to turn me into him."

"Huh?"

He backed away from her. Waving his hand around the room, he said, "All this. You, wanting me to take you like he took you. All the training to get me to last longer. You say that you love everything about me, and yet you keep trying to get me to be like him."