Monogamish - The Seven Year Hall Pass

This is the fifth part of a series that starts with Monogamish--The Courtship. This story comes seven years after The Bachelorette Party, Day 2. I hope you will enjoy it. If you finish this installment, you know the drill: vote, favorite, and especially comment, please. All the time-wasting BS you hear at the start of every YouTube video...

As always, I aspire to make my stories merely plausibly ridiculous, or maybe ridiculously plausible. Either way, this ain't real life, so don't lecture me on realism. I just hope that, given these two highly-improbable characters, you will feel like the ride makes some semblance of sense.

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MONOGAMISH -- The Seven Year Hall Pass

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"They are down," Todd said wearily, plopping down on the couch beside me. Todd Jr. and Mikey were the banes and joys of our existence, especially at bedtime. On the plus side, their demands that Todd keep reading a second chapter of The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe had given me more than enough time to clean the dishes from dinner earlier, pour us both a glass of wine, and find something worthwhile to watch on streaming before Todd could show up and bog down that process with his own opinions.

I snuggled in under the best arm in the world, and we started the show.

After our wedding, Todd and I had decided not to wait, and he had promptly had me on the road to MILFdom within two month's. Junior's sixth birthday next month would be a month before our seventh anniversary. Next week, Todd would turn 29, letting him have his precious few months when he was older than me each year. He's such a nerd.

We had paused after two kids in two years, giving me time to get back to work and make sure my career was delayed no further before we had any more. But as time went on, it was looking more and more like we would stand pat with the wonderful hand we had.

By the end of the opening credits, my hand had stolen into his lap and I was making it hard for him to enjoy watching the TV. I actually did find the show interesting, just not as interesting as what else the two of us could be doing. Ten minutes later, Todd was flipping the TV off with the remote, and we were headed to the bedroom. "Boring show anyway," I murmured, making a note to go back and watch it some other time.

Thirty minutes or so after that, I had Todd pressed down on in his back. With that perfect cock of his deep inside of me. I was doing my swirling hips thing, and it felt amazing for both of us. Suddenly however, I thought, 'He's about ready to do that thing,' and sure enough, he grabbed my hips and started pounding upward into me.

"Oh fuck," I snapped at him through the ecstasy. "I knew you were about to do that!"

"Do... what?" he panted, even though I'd been doing most of the work for a while.

"That! This! What you are... doing." I exclaimed, inexplicably cross. "Doing so fucking well..."

He spanked me. "Are you calling me predictable?" Todd challenged.

"Yes," I said defiantly, still doing my part atop his thrusting cock.

He spanked me again.

"I knew..." I panted myself, "that you were going to do that, too. Do it harder," I added.

He did. And again. And then we were both coming, in one of the thousand near simultaneous orgasms that had been the hallmark of our sex lives together.

I collapsed atop him, feeling his cock swimming inside me, sticky with his fluids and my own, slowly subside. I pressed my tits against his chest and we cuddled. The afterglow, as always, was magnificent.

But this time, after too short a time, he sighed and squeezed me tight. "So I am predictable, huh?" he asked, a little sadly.

I sighed again. "Yes, darling. Predictably awesome, but predictable." I poked him before he got melancholy. "It really isn't all that bad. I predicted you would leave me feeling joyful."

"It tracks, I guess," he said. "I mean, I kinda feel like I know where you are gonna go, too."

"What?"

"Hey! I didn't want to complain. I mean, here I am, nailing the hottest piece of ass I've ever known almost every single night. I don't get to complain," he said, a hint of frustration coloring his own voice, however.

"So I'm predictable too?" I demanded, pointlessly forcing the issue.

"A little, I suppose," he admitted reluctantly.

We looked at each other grumpily.

"Do you think this is what they mean by the Seven Year Itch?" Todd asked suddenly. "If so, it is right fucking on schedule..."

"Fuuuck," I hissed. We were grumpy together now, at least.

I realized it really was true. Over the years of our marriage, we had kind of tried everything that we could come up with between us. Some things worked, and we kept doing them, some things didn't, and we had fun abandoning them. We tried a lot of sex positions. Most of them were more trouble than they were worth. We both definitely liked to spring a can of whipped cream on the other at random moments...

Anal? We tried it. And largely abandoned it. It was too much work for, in both our opinions, the reward. Your mileage may vary. You do you.

We had tried porn as a source of ideas. We found we liked watching the porn in and of itself, though our tastes were both remarkably vanilla. But every time we tried to copy something we saw, we found that everything they do in porn is for the camera. It felt ridiculous, pointless, and simply inconvenient, aping the actors when we were alone. Some things actors do in porn are the opposite of stimulating in real life.

We did not try filming ourselves. We both were not down with that idea. It both scared us, and did not appeal to us in equal measures.

And now that I thought of it, we had even stopped trying new ideas as much...

"I don't think the Seven-Year Itch is quite accurate," I said pushing my head against his, not used to trying to think either clearly or importantly right after sex. After-Todd made that hard. "It sure isn't like I'm pining for someone else, or pining for not you, because neither of those things are remotely important to me."

"Good point," snorted Todd in agreement, pushing his skull back against mine just hard enough to signal his own forceful need to have our minds meet. "We just, I don't know, need to get refreshed. Maybe unleash our Google-Fu and do some research?"

Then an idea bloomed in my head. I get crazy ideas sometimes. It is how I have gotten so far ahead at work already, even though I have two kids. My ideas usually pan out. This one was, um, a doozy though.

"Todd," I announced quickly, as we headed in the robes Mikey and Todd Jr. made necessary back to the kitchen for our post-coital splash of wine. "I'm going to need you to take a Hall Pass," I said, my voice more confident in the idea than I was.

"Oh sure," he laughed. "Is Gal Gadot coming to town for some reason? I'll give her a call and explain things."

I punched him. A little. "I'm serious. A little. Maybe a lot. And Gal is your Celebrity Free Pass. I'm talking a Hall Pass." Ever since we had watched that heist movie with Gal and the Rock, I had declared Dwayne Johnson my Free Pass. Todd had gravitated to Gal in self-defense... and also because he thinks she's hot as the Sun. It had been one of the last really new things we came up with, with me shouting out "Dwayne" at orgasm time, and him caroling to Gal during head.

Still happened occasionally. It was always hot.

"What the fuck are you yammering about, my luscious woman?" Todd asked, getting confused, and irritated because of that.

"I mean, I need you to take an opportunity to go out there, find some random hot chick, bang her thoroughly, and bring back whatever you learn to the bed with me. A Hall Pass," I said, trying to sound confident.

"Not funny, Ames."

"I'm not being funny. I'm serious. I'm going to need you to go get a refresh, Todd."

I loved the fact that he clearly did not suspect I was engaging in that ridiculous cliche of a wife trying to 'trap' her husband, to test if he was actually faithful.

"That is a big ask, Amy," he said simply.

"Please!" I scoffed. "I'm asking a man to go out and have extra sex, here. Hardly the biggest ask in the history of asks."

"You are asking me to put in a whole lot of work, doing things I've forgotten how to do, all for a single fuck sesh with some woman who will in no way measure up to you," he said. He was not flattering me. He was actually complaining.

"That is my ask," I said, firming up my belief. I felt like I could manage not to suffer too much in sympathy with my guy's upcoming sacrifice...

"Well, if I need a fucking sex lift, then so do you," he said, after a moment. "You have to take a Hall Pass at the same time."

"Me?"

"Do I have any other wives?"

"I don't need a refresher."

"If I need one, which maybe I'm beginning to think is possible, then so do you. You are just as in need of some fresh perspective as I am."

Fuck.

"Well," I said, thinking quick. "You are going first. Your birthday is in three weeks. I'll go when it is mine."

"My birthday? This isn't a present!"

I grabbed my husband's cock gently but firmly, idly trying to coax it back to life while I illustrated my point. "Todd. You are an incredibly attractive man in the physical prime of your life. You are effortlessly charming. You are successful. And you just naturally project the fact that you are an absolute sex machine. My friends all confirm that. Whomever you find may or may not be my equal, but you can certainly find someone in my league. You will, if nothing else, have a literal ball."

"There will be no you deciding that my refresher worked just fine and you don't need to go when it your birthday," Todd said sternly.

"Okay," I sighed.

"Promise," he said sternly. I can often weasel out of things if I see a way...

"All right," I said. "I promise on this," and I held up my ring finger.

That short-stopped Todd. I was betting he was going to ask for collateral of some kind, because he is predictable. Thus, I was ready for him.

"Are we sure we want to do this?" Todd asked, worriedly. "Monogamy has worked out for us pretty fucking well."

I gave that simple fact the long consideration it deserved, because it was the simple truth. Then I shrugged. "Darling, we were friends before we were lovers. We were lovers before we were even dating. We were dating well before we stopped dating others. Then we were faithful before we got married," except for the one weekend for his bachelor and my hen...

Shit, bachelorette party. Damn you, Linda!

"I'm not suggesting we open up our marriage, or start swinging, or any of that shit. We are talking about a single Hall Pass, to serve a specific purpose," I said evenly. Then reluctantly added, "Two Hall Passes, I guess."

"So you want us to be... Monogamish?"

"Ass!" I laughed. "But... yeah, okay. I guess that works."

"You are insane," he said, shaking his head. "And I guess so am I..."

"Ha! I knew you'd end up saying that," I taunted teasingly, poking his chest.

"Shut up," he growled, then shut me up by grabbing me and kissing me deeply, his hands grabbing my ass and digging his fingers down under and between my legs. I knew he'd probably do that too. It was his best go-to move for signaling he'd lost an argument and didn't want to hang around on the subject and have to admit it. But since it was exactly what I wanted him to do, I didn't call him on it.

We tumbled quietly past the boys' bedroom and into our own. And into the bed. And Todd once more tumbled into me... eventually. The sex was a selection of our greatest hits, if you will, with both of us subconsciously bringing out moves we had not tried in a while. It combined to make an extremely satisfying evening, while also highlighting for us that we Just. Didn't. Have. Anything. New.

I still came three times.

Then we lay together in bed and talked until two in the morning, working out a plan of attack and parameters. We weren't putting together 'rules' to make sure there were restraints on each other or something. Neither of us was remotely worried that the other was going to 'find someone better', nor was either of us worried that we would find such an impossible creature ourselves. We both knew what we had.

All that said, we wanted to work out parameters. We were parents now, for God's sake. We needed to figure out how to make sure things were as discrete as possible. We were coming at this from a fairly coldly calculating standpoint for whomever we Hall-Passed with, but we wanted to at least make sure that however we did this, we didn't end up hurting anyone else either.

We also brainstormed scenarios of how we could do it. Todd was right, neither of us had worked our game on anyone else in almost eight years. It would take some remembering and some re-engineering of those memories to make anything happen. That discussion was fun, actually, but also frustrating, and neither of us came up with anything usable that first night.

We also were quite upfront with each other. If we were going to do this, we each intended to have as much fun as humanly possible, because we both are, always have been, and always will be, incurably horny.

*

I'll let Todd tell about his Hall Pass in his own story. I obviously wasn't there. But part of our agreement was that we each help the other as much as possible. I was ready to be his wingman, if that was what it took.

I did not end up being a wingman, but I was his scout, and his sounding board.

It took him a good long while, weeks really, to complete his Pass. That shocked me, to be honest. I know what I have in my bed every night we are both home. I honestly felt he could have walked down to a beach in his trunks, with a sign that said 'Available', and had what he needed in an hour.

When he finally had pulled it off, and I had come home from Austin where I'd been at the time...

Yeah, the Hall Pass had worked as intended. Todd very much had some new ideas and fresh perspectives. Nothing major, it had been a single afternoon delight (going into the evening), but we both felt like we could give the other something new, while enjoying the novelty ourselves.

Mission accomplished. We felt jump-started. I love it when a half-assed, spur of the moment plan like having my loving husband bang some rando stranger comes together.

We had a great time for a while, before Todd began to tease me about my turn.

Honestly? I had kind of hoped we could forget about it. I had no particular jones to fuck anyone besides Todd. Things were fresh again, with just those few details. And yes, I like sex, a lot. And I have eyes and other senses and am aware that the world is full of men with whom sex would be wonderful. It is just that I would choose none of them, with the exception of Dwayne The Rock Johnson, on any given day over Todd. Moreover, it had been such a... journey for Todd to make his Hall Pass happen, I kind of wanted to just let my turn slide.

Just as Todd had predicted, right? Sigh.

Not a chance would he let it go. Todd was going to hold me to my promise, on general principal, if nothing else. Plus, he knew I'd end up enjoying myself. And selfishly, he hoped I'd come up with some things as fun as he had.

We both agreed that prostitutes were out, on the grounds that it would be icky, and also a lot less of a challenge. That had been an easy early decision.

I didn't want to even consider just copying Todd's game, and he'd have never let me anyway. I needed my own.

That was it. It was a game of sorts.

We finally settled down like the old gamers that we were, and analyzed what was good about what Todd tried, and what made it bad. Aside from playing games, there is nothing a bunch of gamers like better than crapping on some designer's hard work while figuring out how the rules could have been better--and why.

"Look," Todd said, "The hassle with doing it at home was, I had to work around your travel schedule, and, well, you know. That and all the discretion issues."

Society being what it is, and this is not really a bad thing, I would have to be even more careful about this process around town than Todd had. It made every idea we had for around our home just harder. It was a pain in the ass.

"Yes," I replied, not for the first time, "but since, whenever I'm out of town it's never for more than a night, maybe two at the most, I don't have time to scout much. And we both know it can't be with a fucking co-worker. That's the only people I spend time with on the road. And I am not going to be so boring as to just find some local pickup joint. I'll never get anyone interesting that way."

"Dangerous, too," Todd agreed, also not for the first time. His sole paranoia about this process was my physical safety. I was quite happy with that protectiveness. I was not into danger.

Wheel of Fortune was on as we talked, and some fat guy won a trip to Bora Bora on the wheel.

"That's it!" Todd said excitedly, snapping his fingers. "That's it," he repeated pointing excitedly at the screen.

"We are not going to Bora Bora," I sighed. "We can't afford it, and my Mom wouldn't be able to take the kids that long. Besides," I said, snuggling in dreamily, "I'd be too busy fucking you on the sand to be out looking for a Pass."

"I know we aren't going to Bora Bora," Todd said, "though some role-play on that scenario might be in order..." he shook his head to free it from my sudden distraction. "No, I mean for you to go somewhere, Caribbean probably, for a couple of days. You have so much more vacation than I do."

"I use my vacation to get things done around here we never have time for otherwise," I objected.

"Oh poor you," Todd laughed. "Having to go lie out on a topless beach on an island somewhere instead of taking a couple of Tuesdays off from work to clean the grout!"

"Topless beach?!?"

"Duh. You, alone, on a beach with those out? You'll have your pick of offers in the first ten minutes."

"I have never been topless in public," I said firmly. It was a ridiculous idea. I also found that I didn't hate it.

"I'm sure that you can do it," Todd said dryly. "You are certainly equipped for it," he said grabbing a quick feel of said equipage.

Could I? He and I had never tried the topless or nude beach thing. I had never so much as flashed people on Spring Break or a frat party. On the other hand, I'd happily fucked a stripper right in front of my friends in a hotel room during my bachelorette party...

I found the idea becoming suddenly appealing. Maybe I was an exhibitionist at heart. Maybe some self-knowledge on that front could be the result of my Hall Pass.

In which case, I didn't even need to spend the money, or take the vacation days to go! I could reserve them for cleaning grout.

I decided to keep this concept to myself.

"I'll do some travel agenting," I said out loud. Then we went up to bed and Todd fucked me on the beach in Bora Bora.

We both did research. Todd had as much fun with it as I did. But I was the one who found my eventual destination after days of research.

Club Liberté was a medium-sized all-inclusive resort in the Caribbean. The primary language was French, though English was also spoken by all staff. This was great for several reasons. I wanted to work on my French. It had been a minute since I had had a chance to use it. It also meant that most of the clientele was European, which afforded the ultimate in what I wanted. People who didn't know me or anyone I knew, and whom I'd never need to see again.

The European thing also meant, along with being 21 and over only, that it was the sort of place that could market itself as Toptional. Not just on the beach, but over the entire resort, nobody, man or woman, had to wear a top anywhere but in the main dining room. There were two small beaches, one toptional, the other fully nude. I'd probably avoid the second one, I thought. Probably.