Moon Witch Ch. 12

Yet somehow on the inside I feel as empty as ever, no longer filled with warmth. I can feel the slickness between my legs that's a cold reminder of the storm of feelings raging within me.

It takes me a while longer for me to finally fall asleep, but somehow the heat inside me cools and I'm able to drift off to sleep.

---

"There it is!" Selene leans forward, pointing to where I can see the hint of a building between the Sorrean trees. I can hear the excitement in her voice and I can't help but feel the contagiousness of her energy.

"There it is," I agree. I can recognize the exterior of the workshop where I first met her. The sight of it sets off a lot of feelings in me.

On one hand, I can practically see Selene's excitement coming off of her and it's infectious. But at the same time, there's a pang of regret, mourning, for everything painful that's come to pass in the past few weeks. And then there's the underlying nervousness that grips my heart. Selene hasn't given me an answer, and the closer we get to her home the more certain I feel that she's going to tell me to hurry and leave, that she never wants to see me again.

A breeze picks up, and Selene's hair flies upwards and tickles my chin. She tells me about how she spent a lot of time cleaning up and decorating the shed in order to make it a livable place, but my focus is on her slight form sitting in front of me and in my arms.

"Do you want to stop by?" I ask, and her head swivels towards the direction where I know her home is.

"Let's just go," she says, and directs me towards a dirt path. I pat the silky coat of my horse's side. I've been overworking him slightly with the distance, but internally I promise that I'll get him as many apples as he wants as soon as I'm able to settle down.

"It's funny," Selene says. Her tone is thoughtful. "Last time I walked this path was the night we met. I'd picked my moon-glow and could only think about how my life would be changing, starting the next day. I didn't realize that it would change the way that it did, though."

"It was a pretty big change, I'm sure."

"Yeah."

"Do you think the moon-glow will still be usable?"

"It's a magical mushroom that comes around once a century." I can hear a stifled smile. "It's not going to expire in a fortnight."

"I'm sorry I don't know how magic works," I say, mockingly taking offense.

"Knowing Era, she probably just shoved it in some cupboard while she waited for me to come back." Her voice is soft.

"And now you're about to see her again." I wish that I could see Selene's face now, though I can expect she's wearing that expression she gets when she's thoughtful. Reminiscing. Hopefully this time with a smile over it all, though.

"Yeah. We're super close by, now."

"Just up there." I can see the little cottage. Another shard of guilt pierces me when I think about the last time I was here. It looks a lot different during the day, especially considering last time Reno and I had snuck in to carry Selene away. That night, I'd barely even paid any attention to the sleeping girl next to her, only snuck a glance to confirm that we were grabbing the right one.

It feels like my heart skips a beat. The excitement of the girl in front of me seems almost palpable, to the point where I'm feeling it too. "Era!" She calls. "Era! It's Selene!"

I coax the horse into a canter and we're at the door in no time, Selene calling for Era all the while. I help her down and hang back as Selene pulls a key from somewhere behind a bush and opens the front door.

"She's probably foraging or gone away for the day," Selene calls back to me. "Maybe... You can maybe come in for a while if you'd like. Just until she's back."

And so I follow her in, passing by the doorway and seeing the bed where I had pulled Selene from that first night.

"Selene..."

"Hm?" She hums happily, straightening things up a bit and faffing around.

"Do you have relatives in the city or anything?"

"No, most of our family lives in the Sorrean satellite cities. Why?"

"What are the chances Era has gone somewhere else? Or where could she have gone?"

Selene looks back towards me, her attention now fully on me. There's a question in her eyes.

"Selene, I don't think Era's here. I think she's gone. Somewhere else."

When we walked in, the air felt stale and stagnant. Inside there are cobwebs and dust settled in the corners. Even the small amount of disarray of the room doesn't feel organic. If I had to guess, this room hasn't been lived in for a while.

"She has nowhere else to go," says Selene. She looks up into my eyes and I see the worry from hers spilling out. Her brow is furrowed, that forehead tense. "I don't know where she could have gone. Maybe... I wonder if she left to the city to try and make things meet." Selene looks around at the abandoned room. "We had enough money stored away to get by for a while, though. I don't know."

For the past few days, despite our differences and the tension between us, I at least didn't have to deal with Selene's sadness from being away from home like I did those first few days. If anything, I got to see her excitement and hope for returning back home and to her sister. But now, I see the shadows of it haunting her face. She stands, clutching whatever random thing she was fiddling with before I called her attention.

She closes her eyes. Sighs. Puts down the objects she was holding.

"Are you okay?"

I make to move closer to her, but she just says, "Don't." I stop. She doesn't even look at me.

"Selene." I'm aware of the pleading in my voice, but the way she's so completely closed off is scaring me.

"I said don't." Her voice breaks a little bit. "Can you- can you leave?"

"Can I come back?" I can't tell if she's asking me to leave for the time being, or- what I've been dreading. It feels too soon to say goodbye forever.

"Eryx, please." She trudges towards the couch and sits, leaning back. There was a little doll sitting on the table next to her, which she picks up and lays in her lap. Her voice is a whisper now. "I need to be alone."

And because I don't know what to do or say to fix things, I walk out.

Outside, the previously cheerful and hope-laden forest air seems so much more grim than before. I look at the Sorrean environment around me, so different from what I've come to know as my home in Gra'marah. There's no sand, no stinging heat from the sun. I don't even see any people around in this area, remote that Selene's family lives.

I think back to when I'd imagined Gra'marah as my home forever. When I was living with my aunt I never thought that I'd go back to Gra'marah, yet when I was living under Azrath I never thought I'd return to Sorrea, apart from political reasons.

I sigh. But now I guess I have no choice but to return to my aunt and make a new life for myself. I've been avoiding thinking about it, I guess a larger part of me than I thought had been holding on hope that Selene would welcome me to stay.

I look through my packs for anything belonging to Selene, pulling out her book. The change of clothes and underthings we grabbed for her. I look down at the stuff we've been carrying. There's nothing else that she can call her own.

I leave them right outside the front door. I think I can hear her crying just on the other side of the door, and as much as it hurts me to think about just leaving, her face when she told me to leave is haunting.

"Come on, boy," I say, guiding my horse. "I promise that this time, soon enough we'll get you those treats."

I don't want to overwork him anymore so we continue walking. If I have my bearings correctly, I'm going towards the city's direction. I've never liked Sorrea's cityscape much, but if I'm heading back to my aunt then I need to go towards that direction first.

We take it slow. I think that neither me nor my horse are in too much of a rush. I give him a few grateful pats and he snorts in response. I smile.

I try to keep the memories that haunt me far away while I journey, thoughts of Selene and Hes and Awvag and Azrath and Asa threatening to emerge at any moment. In response I just shut my eyes and breathe, shutting them all out.

I can't have been walking for more than twenty minutes or so when a huge murder of crows flies directly over the trees where I am. I have to duck considering how low some of them fly. They seem hellbent on going to wherever their destination is.

Oh, damn. I look back in their direction.

I get the feeling that I need to follow them, and so I turn back. "Sorry," I whisper to him before mounting my horse, and I set off into a canter to follow the crows back in the direction of Selene's.

I don't want to try to keep up with how fast those crows are going, so we follow along at our own brisk pace. I send a quick prayer to the gods, hoping that I'm overworrying and that the very ominous cloud of crows has nothing to do with Selene.

---

After Eryx left, I cried. The frustration that all of my hopes were for nothing, the emptiness that I feel being back in my home after so long. To return back to nothing.

After a few minute, though, my sadness and frustration felt replaced by emptiness. Hiccupping and slightly hyperventilating pathetically, I got up, stripping down from all of my Gra'marian dress.

I pull off the robe, ignoring the memory that surfaces of Azrath untying me. I slip off the skirt underneath, stepping out of it and leaving it puddled on the floor. Lastly, I pull off the Gra'marian underthings, leaving them ceremoniously dumped in the middle of the other clothes. I stand for a moment, shivering in the brisk autumn air, looking at the closet where all of my clothes are hanging.

Somehow, for a moment it feels wrong to wear either Gra'marian or Sorrean clothes.

I push down the uncomfortable feeling and step over the silky fabrics on the ground to put something comfortable on. I try to relish the feeling of the cottony soft and stretchy fabrics, the thick sweater I pull on. I look for a moment at the many pinafore dresses I'd always had a penchant for, but after a brief consideration I opt to put on some pants. The last time I was in one of those dresses was the first time Eryx and I had met, and Reno had found it - found me - too tempting.

I can almost hear my mother arguing with papa about me wearing pants, deeming it too unladylike. Little did she know that Era and I would be altering all of his pants once they passed so we could wear them. The thought of Era erases any hint of a smile that the memory brought me, reality crashing back into me.

I didn't believe Eryx when he pointed out that it's been empty here for long, until I looked around to notice some of the signs that he did. It seems that whenever she left, she did so in a hurry. I see some unwashed plates still sitting in the kitchen, bone dry with bits of food plastered onto the surface.

I walk around the rooms, searching for any signs that may have been left behind, any semblance of clues as to what may have happened or where she may have gone. But I feel as if I'm left with nothing, the remnants of my sister's presence fading away into nothing.

Nothing. Exactly what I'm finding.

I open the front door to check the exterior of our home, but when I do I look down to see a small pile. It's Re'aila's journal and some Gra'marian clothes. I'd told Eryx to leave, but having to face the fact that he actually did hurts for some reason.

I sigh, and just continue walking around the perimeter. There's not too much we keep out here, essentially just where we keep stacks of firewood for the winter. It dully registers that I'll have to get started on that, there won't quite be enough to last through the cold months.

I stand from where I was crouching down, and when I turn around there's a man.

"Oh!" I can't help the sound of surprise that comes out from his sudden appearance. "Um, hello?"

He stands tall, with a heavy cloak draped over his shoulders. He wears unfamiliar clothing, but whatever it is looks a bit warm for even the autumn chill. The most striking thing, though, is his steely grey eyes. I've never seen someone have such a light color in their iris, and when he looks at me it's as if they penetrate my deepest secrets. I break eye contact, uncomfortable, and instead settle my eyes at his hooked nose with its bump sticking out midway.

"Can I help you?" I ask.

He shakes his head almost imperceptibly, then moves towards me slowly. I can't say that he walks, because he moreso glides. The firewood is right behind me, so I begin moving to the left, eager to get back inside and away from him.

"S-stay back," I say, grabbing a piece of the firewood, the closest thing to a weapon I have in my reach.

Again, he does that slight shake of the head, continuing to move towards me. As he does, I feel as if my energy is drained from me. My feet are lead, my head sluggish. Then, suddenly, he's right in front of me.

"Wow," I hear myself say. Now, up close, I can see that he's really not human at all. I look up into his eyes. His face seems to pulsate, break apart, and then shift together so that the face appears again. But he's not human, he's just a ball of pulsating black energy. Pure magic.

Those eyes of his are fastened on mine, and he raises a hand to stroke my cheek. It burns where he makes contact, searing pain that seems to make its way inside me and threatens to unravel me at the seams. He opens his mouth, but when he speaks the unpleasant sound drenches my bones.

"Higi'a hazemann," says the voice. I can't move at all, as he raises those hands, pressing them on either side of my face and looking down at me. My vision begins to blacken and my ears ring - I can barely make it out as he repeats himself and then moves his face towards mine in a kiss, "Higi'a hazemann."

Then pain blooms in my shoulder and the right side of my head. Gradually my vision begins to return, though my body still feels heavy. I roll over to try to make sense of what's happening, just in time to see Eryx drag a dagger or a knife across the chest of the man. It stays embedded in him, blue light beginning to emanate from its handle and the wound.

My ears are still ringing, but my hearing is beginning to return. I hear awful screaming coming from the man, then a grunt as Eryx sweeps the man's legs out from underneath him. I look away just in time before Eryx does... Whatever he does to end it all. I pretend not to hear the sound of it happening.

He runs over to me. "Are you okay?" He holds my face in his hands, just as the man did, but this time it fills me with warmth rather than sucking life from me.

"I don't know," I say, and he helps me up. My body feels stiff and sore, and I can already feel that my shoulder will bruise. My whole body feels shaky and weak, and Eryx lets me lean against him. I don't mean to look at the dead body of the man, but when I glance in the direction, I can't help but clutch the arm that Eryx has around me. "He's gone."

"Creepy," Eryx says. Then there's a great deal of rustling coming from around us, and I raise my eyeline to see hundreds of crows sitting in trees, now beginning to fly away now that their master is dead.

We stand there and watch them leave, clouds of black plumage disappearing like smoke in the night.

I feel adrenaline in me, but underneath it all it feels like there's darkness still. The sluggishness that I felt when the man drew near, it's as if that somehow leaked into the core of my being and it's all hanging over me.

I don't speak until all of the crows leave, and even then after some. I turn over different things to say in my head, each one sounding dumb or too much for the situation. Eventually I settle on just a statement of the facts. "You came back," I say.

"Yes."

"You didn't have to." I can't look at him.

"I did." He shifts so that he's still supporting me, but is now turned towards me. "What, so you would have happily died if I hadn't come back?"

The words themselves seem accusatory, but I can hear in his voice that he's trying to make light of the situation. I push out a shaky breath. "Thanks for coming back."

"If you still want me to leave I can," he says. His tone is nonchalant, but I can sense his nervous energy. He wants me to ask him to stay.

I turn towards him slowly. I'm hyperaware of the fact that his arm is still around me and feel like I can't move too suddenly or else he'll remember that it's there and take it away. "Stay here. Please."

"Can't take it back," he says, a smile breaking out on his face. There's a little piece inside of me that feels pleased at his reaction, but it feels ruined by a reminder of what just took place as we walk back around towards the front of the house. We both ignore the pile of things left behind by the mysterious man. It feels wrong to step any closer to it, almost as if it's cursed and no one should touch it.

"What do you think it was?" I ask as I take a seat on the couch. Eryx takes a seat in the chair next to it.

He frowns. "I don't know. I've never seen anything like him. I'm just glad magic is still so common in Gra'marah, else I wouldn't have had a sealing dagger on me."

"You're going to have to tell me what that is."

"It nullifies magic," he says, reaching into his boot and pulling one out. It's what I saw him plunge into the chest of the man earlier. He hands it to me to examine, and now that I see it up close I see that there are runes worked into the metal of the handle. The whole thing has an otherworldly blue glow. "Any magical creature that gets stabbed with this gets their magic sealed inside, as long as it's still in them."

At his words, I hand it right back to him. "Seems pretty awful to me," I say, keeping my fingers away from its sharp edges.

"It won't do anything to you right now," Eryx grins. "It has to be pretty deep... Uh, in your flesh, really, for it to work. That's why it's so dangerous to use. You have to get in their face in order to use it."

"So you used it on him," I say, still eyeing the dagger as Eryx slips it back into his boot.

"After that, he was just a regular man. I was kind of scared that all the crows would come back to tear me apart, but I think they were just watching. Waiting, maybe."

Chills dance down my spine as I think about what they might have been waiting for. "If you'd come just a bit later I think I would be dead by now."

"I'm glad I came back just in time, then," he says. He looks at me, and for a moment the tension between us returns.

I break eye contact first. "Are you hungry?"

"We haven't eaten for a while," he shrugs, like me telling him to leave didn't happen and we've been together even until now.

"I don't know why I asked, there's no food around." I run a hand through my hair, feeling flustered. Between almost dying, not having any food in my stomach, and being ill-rested, I feel like a weak and slow version of myself.

"That's alright, we have just enough left to take the edge of hunger off. We can figure out what to do for food starting tomorrow."

He stands up and turns towards the door, before he groans and grips his chest. He falls forward just a bit, leaning his weight against the chair he was sitting in.

"Eryx?" I get up and put a hand on his arm. "What is it?"

He looks at me, breathing hard. "My chest."

"How does it hurt?" My mind races through all that it could be and what I might be able to prepare for him, but all of my ingredients are in my workshop. The closest thing to medicine that I have here is cough syrup, and I'm sure that old bottle is from when before Era was even born.

"I'm fine, I'm fine," he says, slowly standing up again.

"You are not fine. Someone who's fine doesn't just nearly collapse like that."

"I'm sure I'll be okay." He squeezes past me to get some food for us.