Moulding my Slave Ch. 08.5 - Janet's Story

"I am an old woman, putting on her face every day hoping that I don't miss a spot and the world sees the real me." She said in a rush. "I am lonely, desperate for companionship. No, not companionship, affirmation. Reassurance that I am still the woman I am trying to be every day."

She sagged against the doorway. "But every day it gets harder." She sobbed. "I spend more time trying to look young, because every day I am older. I am terrified that some day it won't work anymore and then it will be too late."

Janet looked up at the person in front of her, also devoid of make up or styling but still perfect. Confident in who she was, regardless of how others saw her.

"I want to be like you." Janet sobbed. "I want to be happy with who I am, instead of fighting to be who I used to be."

Karen reached out and took her in her arms, pulling her into a comforting embrace as Janet cried on her shoulder. "Now we can begin." Karen said and Janet sobbed in relief.

Janet pulled herself up, wiping the tears from her eyes and tugging her hoodie back in to place. Then, hesitantly she held out the crop. "This is yours." She said in a quiet voice.

"Keep it, you earned it." Karen replied as she stood back and ushered Janet through the door. Then she sniffed, "and I think you marked it too."

Janet was on her second session with Mistress Karen. The first was the day she finally accepted who she was, and what she really wanted for herself. They had sat on Karen's sofa, drinking tea while Janet had gone on for what seemed like hours. Feelings that she had not admitted to herself, much less anyone else, spilled out in a torrent. When she was done, she felt like a sodden towel that had been wrung dry of everything that was weighing it down.

This session was very different. Mistress Karen had taken her to the dungeon and put her through almost everything imaginable. Stress positions, beatings, sensory deprivation, erotic stimulation overload, things she didn't think possible. Her mind cast back to the final moments of that day.

Now she hung upside down by her ankles, her legs spread wide as the chains pulled her until she thought she would split in two. She moaned into her gag, an uncomfortably large ball that was hard and unyielding beneath her teeth but effectively muffled the scream she let out as Mistress Karen struck her again.

The dominatrix was standing across the room, far enough away that Janet could see her fully through her tear-stained eyes. Surprisingly, Mistress Karen was naked but for her shiny black stiletto heels. Despite the pain, Janet couldn't help but admire the body of the woman who tormented her so well.

Long, pale legs strode confidently over the cold concrete floor as she paced back and forth like a tiger assessing its prey. One hand rested on her shapely hip, elegant black lacquered nails drumming idly on the firm flesh in contemplation. Janet's eyes roamed up over the smooth flat stomach to the still firm but slightly sagging breasts. Nothing fake there, she didn't need it Janet thought. She was surprised at how the light glinted off of the nipple piercing, but it was a bar and not a ring. More of a statement of self control than a symbol of submission. Her hair was up in a tight bun, leaving her long graceful neck clear of any obstruction. Her lips were as black as her nails and dark purple eyeshadow made her green eyes look predatory as they assessed her next strike.

The lunge whip hissed through the air and caught Janet just below her left tit, leaving a small red welt where the tip had barely grazed her flesh. Janet yelped, her overall stimulation making the minor contact feel like the touch of a branding iron.

Mistress Karen grunted in annoyance and the whip reached out again. This time a perfect strike on Janet's left breast. She howled in pain, then again as the whip kissed the same spot on her other tit. Back and forth Mistress Karen alternated, not moving anything but her wrist but delivering sting after sting in rapid succession.

Janet thrashed back and forth, trying to escape the bite of the leather that struck her again and again. Finally, she could take no more and raised two fingers of her left hand. The whip stopped short of its final strike and she opened her eyes to see Mistress Karen moving towards her, coiling it in her hand. A click of a winch and Janet was slowly lowered to the ground, the cool hard floor feeling like a balm on her burning body.

"That is enough for today, I have what I need." Mistress Karen said as she released Janet's gag and unhooked her ankle cuffs from the hoist. Janet groaned and worked her sore jaw, taking deep breaths to calm her raging heart.

"What was that all for?" She gasped, levering herself up on her arms, but not yet trusting her legs to support her.

"My dear, that was about how far you would go to impress me." Karen replied, lapsing into the clinical tone she used when she was working with a patient.

"And how did I do?" Janet asked, pushing her hair out of her face.

"What does it matter?" Karen replied, crossing her arms and looking down at the woman who lay on her floor. The look wasn't contempt, or even disappointment. Instead, it was almost eager.

Janet paused, then raised herself to her feet. She was shaky, but held herself up and gratefully accepted the bottle of water that Karen passed her. After taking a long drink, she wiped her mouth. "I guess it shouldn't, is that the lesson?"

Karen nodded. "Your healing began when you realized and accepted who you were. Today I tried to teach you that what you want from yourself is more important than what others want from you. It should not matter how well I think you did, what matters is how well you think you did."

Janet ran her hands over her stinging body, massaging her sore breasts and carefully avoiding touching her bruised ass. "I think I did pretty well, although I was surprised at how scared I was when you put the hood on me."

Karen nodded "That's not unusual. Sensory deprivation is something that many people cannot handle. They need to see what is coming, even if there is nothing they can do about it." She looked at her phone, then handed Janet a robe. "Same time next week?"

"Darling, how would you like to go to a BDSM convention?"

Janet knelt on the floor, her head between Mistress Karen's legs as the woman spoke on the phone. She was licking for all she was worth, but Karen apparently didn't notice as she carried on her conversation.

Karen laughed in response to something she heard, completely ignoring the efforts of the woman on the floor in front of her. "Oh dear, I believe that is the first time I have heard you not in complete control of yourself. Delightful" Karen said with a satisfied tone.

"Oh, don't be such a fussbudget, remember getting out of your comfort zone is good for you." She chided. "Don't worry, this is a very exclusive event, invitation only. I have been several times and enjoyed myself immensely"

Janet groaned in frustration, and discomfort. She had been on her knees on the hardwood floor for almost half an hour and her arms and shoulders were killing her in the restrictive tie Mistress Karen had put her in. She slid her tongue deep into her mistress's pussy, nuzzling the clit with her nose as she strove to earn some reaction from the woman.

"Afraid not darling. Word of my makeover has spread and I am swamped with work." Karen reached down to stroke Janet's hair; the only acknowledgement of her presence she had made since the call began. "I have three clients booked for that weekend, but I think that you and sweet little Jennifer are ready to spread your wings. Enter a new world as it were, and be assured it is a very new world."

Janet stiffened. Jennifer, was she talking to him? She tried to listen in but a sharp knock from Karen's knuckle reminded her of her place and she resumed her duties.

"Wonderful" Karen said in a happy voice, again ignoring the frantic efforts of the woman crouched between her legs. "I am also sending a list of links to articles and videos you need to review before you go. No one want's to be the Noob at one of these things, and you are going as my guests of course."

Karen paused again as she listened, then continued the conversation but in a very different clinical voice. "It is slow, but she is making progress. She had had a very rough life and that has left some pretty deep scars on her psyche."

Janet perked up again, they were talking about her.

"This is a big haystack we are going through to find those rusty needles, but every time we pull one out, she gets a little better."

Another pause, then "Not for a while yet, I don't think. I am sorry but the reward must match the progress, and seeing you two would be a big reward. I will tell her you asked about her, that will make her very happy."

Again, Janet froze, seeing her daughter? Was she ready for that? Another sharp knuckle rap on her forehead and she shook her head, the unexpected twitch earning a startled gasp from Mistress Karen. She smiled to herself and resumed licking at the pussy in front of her.

"I knew I could count on you darling. Kisses to Jennifer, ta." And she ended the call, setting down the phone and looking sternly at her patient/slave.

"It is very rude to listen in on someone's conversation dear." Karen said, then delivered a sharp slap on Janet's exposed rump with the crop she held in her other hand. Janet winced in pain, then again as Mistress Karen struck the other cheek with an expertly aimed blow. She then slid the crop slowly down her body, edging it between her crotch and the face of the woman working there.

Janet leaned back, tilting her head up as the crop reached under her chin and lifted her gaze to where Karen lounged back in the leather sofa. She treated herself to a look at the dominant woman before lowering her eyes to the floor in submission.

Karen was wearing a blood red leather corset with black lace trimmings. The boning was custom fitted and shaped her already impressive body to perfection. Dark red merlot lips pursed in annoyance and her perfectly sculpted black brows furrowed her forehead as she regarded the woman on the end of her crop. She shifted her body, crossing her stocking covered legs and tapping the toe of one of her calf high red leather boots on the floor.

Janet knelt at respectful attention, naked before the goddess on the sofa in front of her. Bereft of clothing, makeup or other beauty aids, she felt extremely vulnerable and squirmed under the piercing gaze of her mistress. She remained silent as Mistress Karen contemplated her, not even trying to guess what was going on in that incredible mind of hers.

"I have been asked to tell you hello from your daughter and her master. But you already know that don't you." She said with a wry smile.

Janet nodded, knowing that Karen expected answers when she asked questions. She remained silent though, Karen had this annoying way of turning any comment into a deep dive into her mind and she was too distracted to think about that now. She ran her tongue over her lips, tasting Karen's musk on her, and she sighed in disappointment at her failure to satisfy her mistress.

The crop lashed out again, striking her smartly on her breast and she gasped in pain.

"Why do you sigh? " Karen demanded.

Janet flinched, how did this woman read her so easily. "I was unable to make you cum Mistress. I could barely keep your attention as you spoke on the phone."

"And that is a failure? Is it so important to you to make others happy that when you cannot, you make yourself sad?" The crop lashed out again, striking the other tit and Janet winced as she took her punishment.

"Why are you here?" Mistress Karen asked.

How is it that the simplest questions are the hardest to answer, Janet thought.

"I want to learn to be more like you Mistress." She replied, then flinched as the crop struck again.

"Wrong." Karen barked. "Why are you here?"

Janet took a deep breath and considered, Karen never rushed her in her decisions but her responses were always quick and often painful.

"I want to learn to accept myself for who I am. If I can't love myself, how can I really love anyone else or deserve that love in return."

Karen lounged back in the sofa, a pleased smile on her lips. "Now, is the truth so hard?" She asked. "Why is it so difficult for you to accept that being content with who you are does not depend on what others think of you."

Janet nodded, a warm glow of pride filling her at the praise. The crop swung out again. "Stop seeking pride in other people, find it in yourself for a change." Karen commanded as Janet recoiled from the blow.

"Yes Mistress." Janet quickly replied, nodding her head in agreement. "But, is it wrong to feel satisfaction from making someone else happy? If you only exist for your own gratification, isn't that selfish?" Janet braced herself for another blow, but when she opened her eyes, she saw Mistress Karen with a small smile on her face.

"Don't be afraid of asking questions dear, that is how you learn." She said in an almost parental tone. "Only be afraid of the repercussions of lying to yourself with the answers." She leaned forward, bringing her face down to the level of the woman who knelt in front of her.

"There is nothing wrong with getting a sense of pleasure out of making someone else happy. Unfortunately, what you have been doing is shaping yourself into what you think they want, with no regard for what you want. You were not happy because you made someone else happy, you were feeding off of their happiness to justify your own actions. It is a fine line, but one that you need to cross if you are ever to be satisfied with yourself."

She leaned back, the aura of power and control returning effortlessly. "Now, what would make you happy, satisfied in yourself?"

Janet stiffened her back, raising herself erect on her knees. She lifted her head proudly, "Mistress, I want to make you cum."

"I am so glad you said that." Mistress Karen chuckled as she spread her legs again.

Janet stood on the familiar porch and knocked on the door. She felt strange, almost uncomfortable in her outfit as she waited for Mistress Karen to admit her. She had gotten a message asking if she was available for an impromptu session, and if she was to dress "like a dominatrix".

Janet knew what a dominatrix was supposed to look like, but it was surprisingly hard to do it herself. She had an extensive wardrobe, but every outfit she tried looked like she was going to a Halloween party. How did Mistress Karen pull it off, she looked like a dominatrix in her sweatshirt and leggings.

Janet adjusted the top of her corset one last time as the door swung open and Karen stood there. Again, she took Janet's breath away. Her dark hair was in a braid that wrapped around the top of her head, coiled like a snake ready to strike. Her wide green eyes were perfectly framed by her eyeshadow and liner, and her lips were done in a dark blue that matched the colour of the leather bra she wore. Low rise black leather pants clung to her every curve and the lacing down the side made her legs look even longer than Janet thought possible. Calf high leather boots with a platform heel made her stature even more impressive and Janet quailed in her shadow.

Karen smiled as she examined Janet's attempt, the black corset was not leather, but was well fitted and lifted her already impressive bust into porn star quality cleavage. Janet had slicked her hair tight to her head and it hung down her back in a tight French braid. A leather skirt hung to just above her knees, with a slit high enough to show the lacy top of the stocking that she wore under it. Her black leather booties laced tight around her ankle and the stiletto heel looked sharp enough to stab someone with.

Karen gave a low whistle "That looks good on you, we may make a Dom out of you yet."

Janet blushed at the praise, shrugging into her shoulders like a child who has been told she looks like a lady. Karen snorted with a laugh "I guess we still need to do some work." As she waved her inside.

Their heels made sharp clicking sounds as they moved down into the basement dungeon, and Janet saw they were not alone down here. A man was secured to the large cross in the corner, cuffed spread eagled with a thick collar around his neck. His head was encased in a leather hood and black ball gag, but his eyes followed them as Karen led her to stand in front of him. He was wearing a pair of tight leather shorts but other than that he was naked. Janet ran her eyes over his body, impressive but not sculped. This was no model, and he looked to be in his late 30's or early 40's from the grey hairs that stood out on his chest.

Karen picked up a crop and tapped it against her hand. "This is Chad, not his real name of course but it will do for our purposes." She said as she slid the tip of the leather crop over the man's naked chest. "He is another client of mine who has volunteered to participate in this session. He has agreed that we can do whatever we want to him and his safety signal will be to raise two fingers on either hand, is that correct?"

"Chad" nodded his head, and raised two fingers to show he understood.

Karen's crop whistled out, striking Chad sharply on the inside of his thigh. The man grunted behind his ball gag then again as Karen struck the other thigh in the same place. Several more almost surgical strikes continued, around the waistline of his shorts and along his collar bone. When she was done there was a clear line of red marks outlining his crotch and neck.

Karen stood back and turned to Janet. "You can strike him anywhere between those lines, no blows to the head or the groin, understood?" She extended the crop out to her.

Janet froze, "Me?" she asked incredulously.

"Yes Janet, you." Karen replied in a commanding tone.

Janet took the crop, it was black, not brown like the one she had at home. She looked nervously at Chad, then back at where Karen stood. She had crossed her arms under her breasts and waited patiently.

"Why?" Janet asked, being a Dom was not something she had ever expected of herself. She had worked so hard to remove her masks, this would be like putting another one on.

"Chad is no one, his mask gives him anonymity for both you and him." Karen replied. "Instead, Chad is every man who has ever hurt you."

Janet gasped at the implication, and turned to regard the bound figure again. The mask blurred in her vision, but the body stayed clear and her fingers whitened on the handle of the crop.

"Chad is every man who has ever left you, broken their promise after getting that they wanted." Karen continued. "He is every man who has hit you, or lied to you. He is every man who said they loved you then walked out of your life." She walked up and whispered in Janet's ear "Chad made you who you were."

Janet stalked forward, her teeth grinding behind her painted lips. Her eyes bored into the black holes of the mask, the faceless face that was suddenly Dan. She whipped the crop and struck the man hard in his armpit. Dan was the boy who had taken her virginity, then shouted it out during the football game the next day. She struck again and again, the crop leaving angry red welts on Dan's chest.

Now he was Andrew, the boss who promised to leave his wife for her. The man who led her on for months until finally admitting during a business trip that it had all been a lie. He had kids, she would take him for everything, he couldn't do that. Janet howled as the crop lashed Andrew's legs and arms.

Now he was Mark, Jennifer's father. The man who promised to marry her when they had found out she was pregnant. She had felt so happy, finally she would have someone in her life. Then just weeks after she started to show she came back to their apartment to find his stuff gone. A note of apology on the table and a couple hundred dollars to ease his conscience. She screamed his name as she beat on his chest, crop forgotten as she pummelled him with her fists. She heard the muffled grunting coming from Mark's mouth as her rage exploded out of her.