Jesse looked over at Cat, and the sympathy in her blue eyes shattered the last of Jesse's reserve. Tears began to spill out of her eyes. Jesse looked away, mortified at herself, and began to move out of the room.
Cat stepped around the pool table and pulled Jesse into a hug. "Hey, hey...it's okay. Shhhhh". Cat continued to whisper quiet comforting things while Jesse cried out her heartbreak into Cat's shoulder. Cat hugged Jesse tenderly, rocking back and forth a bit and stroking her hand up and down Jesse's back.
Slowly, the feel of Cat's petting and the realization that she was hanging on to Cat for dear life began to sink in. "God, I'm so sorry", Jesse sniffed. "I really do usually have it all together better than this, you know. I promise I'm not really a basket case."
"Stop it Jesse, it's okay", Cat said. Though they had moved apart, Cat kept a hold of Jesse's hand. "Sometimes it really does help to cry it out. I'm glad I could be here for you to cry on, rather than you being all alone. Heartache this heavy is hard to face on your own."
There was a hitch in Cat's voice that made Jesse look at her quizzically, but Cat just shook her head.
"I know what we need", Cat said with determination. "We need wine!!"
Jesse smiled at Cat, allowing her the evasion. "That sounds perfect." Cat turned and led the way back downstairs. Jesse found herself wishing that Cat would have let her go down first, so Jesse wouldn't be distracted yet again by the firm backside bouncing down the steps in front of her. She sighed inwardly, reminding herself yet again that Cat was straight and not interested. But damn, that woman had a tempting body.
As Cat poured the wine, Jesse lit the fireplace. They both settled down on the sofa, watching the flames in quiet companionship for awhile.
"Jesse", Cat began a bit later, "if you DID find another artist, a good artist to show in your gallery, would it still be too late?"
"Well," Jesse replied, "I'm not sure. If it was a very good artist, maybe one with some renown...perhaps I could pull it off. But Kate has already poisoned all of those eligible artists against me, and though I could set the record straight with some of them, it would take too much time and the gallery will be lost".
"But you could still try, right", Cat asked, putting her hand on Jesse's thigh. Jesse just shrugged non-commitedly. "Seriously Jess, you have to try! You don't seem like the type to just pack it in and give up Jesse. You are not a quitter. You are strong, and determined, and focused, and you will not let a little bitch like Kate ruin your life." Cat's voice had taken on a strident tone of determination as she squeezed Jesse's thigh for emphasis.
Jesse looked at Cat with shock. "How do you know that? I mean, what makes you think that I have that kind of personality?" she asked.
"I just do", Cat said. "Call it a feeling, empathy, what have you. I understand you, and I know that you will survive this." Cat was looking into Jesse's eyes with intensity, and Jesse could almost feel Cat's strength and positive determination leaping from her.
Jesse began to lean towards Cat, captivated by her gaze. Suddenly, Jesse realized what she was doing; she was going in for a kiss! Smoothly, Jesse changed her lean towards Cat into a lean towards the coffee table and the wine bottle, filing up both of their glasses.
"Thanks", Cat said. Jesse breathed a quiet sigh of relief. Cat didn't notice the slip. Damn, she was going to have to be more careful!
"No, thank you, "Jesse said. "I really do feel better now, just having talked about this whole mess." Cat smiled, and Jesse marveled at how easily that smile came to the woman's face.
Jesse sat back and sipped some more wine, her mind wandering back over the day she had just spent with Cat. Amazingly, Jesse realized she had had fun, and that laughter was the stand out emotion of the day. Jesse thought she hadn't laughed this much in a long time.
Cat yawned, and Jesse realized what time it was. "Wow, it's pretty late", Jesse said. Cat nodded.
"Yes, but I wanted to talk about the sleeping arrangements first", Cat began.
Jesse interrupted her. "I told you I wasn't kicking you out of the bed".
"I know," Cat replied. "But it's a huge bed. I don't mind sharing it with you. I really hate to think of you on this damn uncomfortable sofa two nights in a row. Really...it'll be fine".
Jesse hesitated. Part of her leaped at the idea of sharing a bed with this gorgeous woman, but her brain knew that was a bad idea. But then again, the sofa really did suck. Slowly, Jesse nodded. "Okay, we can share it. Thanks a bunch. My back especially thanks you".
Cat laughed, and they headed off into the bedroom. Jesse obliging turned her back while Cat undressed and changed into her top and shorts, and Cat did the same for Jesse. They crawled into opposite sides of the bed, said good night, and Cat hit the switch to turn out the lights.
Jesse had a hard time falling asleep, as her sexual mind began playing scenarios in her head of Cat turning over and reaching out, softly calling Jesse's name as she pressed her soft warm body against Jesse's. It was good while before Jesse could tune out the sexual urgency that seemed to pulse in the empty space between the two of them, so that she could drop off to sleep.
It was still dark when Jesse roused from a deep sleep, unsure of what had woken her. She figured it was some night noise outside or the cabin settling, mentally shrugged and sleepily pulled the warm body next to her in closer. Jesse spooned up behind the soft warm body, mumbling quietly in pleasure as her arm came around and grasped a firm full breast. She lay still a moment, reveling in the close intimacy of a good spoon, and then drifted back off to sleep.
Hours later, Jesse awoke again. This time there was no doubt about what had woken her up. Cat was waking up, and stretching fully under Jesse's arm. Cat's stretch fit her name perfectly. Extremely feline, it was all-encompassing, seeming to start at her core and snake its way through her entire body, culminating in a full deep moan, at which point Cat's body slowly collapsed back in on itself, curling up around Jesse's arm and settling back into the spoon. Jesse bent her head down, and got her lips right on a warm section of skin at Cat's neck. Cat let out a little whimper of pleasure, snuggling her ass back into Jesse's groin. A hard slug of desire hit Jesse at this point, and it was then that Jesse realized who she was holding.
Jesse froze, and then quickly tried to untangle her body from Cat's. It seemed that Cat had just realized who was spooning her, and quickly moved away as well. They both sat up, looked at each other awkwardly.
"Umm...I'm sorry about that" Jesse began to say.
"No, no...don't apologize. It's completely normal. I guess we can't help what we do when we're asleep. It was kind of nice anyways. Don't worry about it". Cat smiled one of the blinding beautiful smiles, and Jesse knew all was forgiven.
After showering (during which Jesse stayed firmly in the kitchen while Cat was in the bath), they ate breakfast, and then set about their day trying to keep each other from going stir crazy. They both talked about life in general, the political climate of the day, world issues, whatever happened to cross their minds. Jesse found that Cat was smart, educated, easy to talk to, funny as hell with a quirky wry sense of humor, and a touching heart full of compassion.
As the day wore on, Jesse found herself becoming more and more attracted to Cat, catching herself staring at her while Cat talked of this or that, not really hearing what she said, but just watching those full soft lips make beautiful shapes while she talked.
If Cat had any clue as to what things were running through Jesse's mind during this day, Cat would have run screaming down the side of the mountain, begging the first person she came upon to save her from the lesbian monster that was threatening to eat her. Literally. Jesse spent the entire day in a maelstrom of whirling sexual desire, frustration, and want.
It just so happened that sex seemed to be on Cat's mind that evening as well. As they sat once again in front of the fire with glasses of Pinot Noir, Cat turned to Jesse with a serious look on her face.
"Jess, why do you like sex with women?" she asked.
"What?!" Jesse sputtered. "Damn, Cat...what a change in subject!"
Cat laughed. "True. Sorry. It's just that I've been wondering why you're gay. Or why anybody is. When did you know?"
Jesse considered her question seriously. "Just after high school. I found that I much rather preferred women over men."
"How?" Cat questioned.
"You really want to know?" Jesse queried back. Cat nodded, leaning forward and looking at Jesse intently.
"Okay then...let's see. Well, I had had a couple of boyfriends through high school, but only because it just seemed the thing to do, you know? I wasn't really into any of them. And yeah, I had sex with some of them, but it just didn't feel right. It wasn't very pleasurable; it didn't do anything for me. Not like the fireworks and passion that I had always thought sex was supposed to be. I found the whole thing to be rather...awkward and gross. I figured it was just something wrong with me, I was frigid, or whatever."Jesse paused to take another sip of wine, gathering her thoughts together. Cat nodded encouragingly, wanting Jesse to continue.
"So then it was, I guess about a year into college when I met Stacy. She was in one of my classes, and we just hit it off. After a few months of really great friendship, she revealed to me that she was gay. It kind of caught me by surprise; especially when she went on to explain that she wanted to be with me. Like with me. I wasn't quite sure how to handle that. But over the next couple of days, I realized that what I had thought was simple friendship was a lot more, and that I was attracted to her as well." Jesse paused again, thinking back fondly over her first sexual experience with a woman.
"Soooo", Cat prompted when Jesse had been quiet too long, rolling her hand in that get-on-with-it gesture.
Jesse laughed. "Soooo, she introduced me to the pleasures of lesbianism. And I have never looked back. I realized that the lack of passion I had felt for my earlier boyfriends wasn't that there was something wrong with me, but that there was something wrong with them. They had penises!"
Cat burst out laughing. "Seriously? It was that easy?"
"Yeah", Jesse said. "It was right. I'm not sure how else to explain it. It just felt like I had finally figured out who I was, what I was supposed to be doing. Before, it had seemed like I was an actress, just going through the motions, but now I felt like me." Jesse looked over at Cat, noticing an introspective look on the smaller woman's face.
"So what happened to Stacy?" Cat asked.
"Oh, we just went our separate ways after awhile. At the time of course I was devastated, sure to never love again, etc. etc." Jess snorted. "You know how young love is.
Eventually I did move on to other relationships, but never again with a man. "
"What's it like? Sex with another woman, I mean", Cat asked. As she asked, she looked away shyly.
Jesse looked at Cat sharply. Was she interested? Curious? Well, that was natural. Almost every woman Jesse knew, straight or not, had played around with a friend once or twice. Jesse decided to be perfectly honest and pondered her own intimate feelings about why she loved women.
"Hmmm...it's just better, I think. With a woman, you just know what feels good, because all women's bodies are similar in most respects. You know if it feels good to you, it'll probably feel good to your partner as well."
"Well, why is it better?" Cat pushed. "A man can be really good in bed too. What is it about a woman that makes it better?" Cat pushed. "What is it about a woman that YOU like so much? I really want to understand it." This seemed to be really important to Cat, and Jesse thought that maybe the woman had some latent bi-sexuality, or strong curiosity at least.
Jesse hesitated, knowing where the conversation could lead, and then though fuck it. She asked for it. If it turns her on, that'll be her fault. Jesse looked off into the flames, twirling her wine glass between her fingers, and then began talking softly.
"I love the way a woman feels. Her skin, soft and warm, it usually feels like satin, or maybe velvet. So soft, so smooth. I love long thick hair, running my hands through it, pulling her head back, and exposing her throat, with the warm pulse in the hollow there. I love the way a woman sounds as I pleasure her, the sweet moans, the fast breathing. I love how a woman is responsive to my touch, the way her body moves and flexes when I stroke her body. I love the curve of her hip, the length of her leg, the softness of her breath. When a woman kisses you, you can feel that kiss all the way through you. Two women together can make beautiful love together. Trust me; it's nothing like they show in the pornos." Jesse paused for a breath, looking over at Cat.
Cat was sitting very still, listening raptly to Jesse's voice. Her mouth was slightly open, and her face was flushed. Jesse could see by the darkening of the blue eyes that Cat was indeed turned on by Jesse's description. And Jesse wanted very much to kiss her, to show her what she meant. Oh boy, this could get interesting, Jesse thought.
"What is your favorite thing?" Cat asked quietly. She seemed intense, reckless, almost as if she knew how she was pushing Jesse's buttons.
She leaned a little closer to Jesse, elevating the intimate moment so that Jesse's heart began race in her chest. Oh god, how I want her. Should I? Shouldn't I? Jesse's inner voice vacillated back and forth. Tell her, Jesse's heart insisted. Tell her what you want...
Jesse looked Cat straight in the eye. "I love the taste of a woman", Jesse said intensely.
"Taste? As in...?" Cat asked in a whisper. A flush starting creeping across Cat's chest, up her neck.
"Come on now, surely you've tasted at least yourself?" Jesse asked. Cat just shook her head. Jesse could see that Cat was interested, embarrassed, turned on, and nervous at the same time.
"Yes, the taste. Her woman's taste, her own unique flavor. Deep and musky, or sometimes clean and sweet, it doesn't matter to me. There is something about the intimacy of tasting a woman's deepest flesh, of savoring her private essence. I feel as if I know her inside and out. The absolute power I feel when I make her cum, and the overwhelming sensation of her flooding my mouth. I can make love to a woman's sweet wet pussy with my mouth and tongue for hours it seems. I just never get tired of it." Jess stopped, realizing that she had gone way beyond her intentions, and had managed to turn herself on right nicely.
"God Jess...you make it sound...wonderful", Cat breathed.
"It is wonderful", Jesse replied. "To me it is the most wonderful thing that we could do together." Jesse hurried to cover her slipup. "We as women, I mean. It's beautiful, it's...sharing. It's intimacy at its closest most open stage."
"And you can't find that with a man?" Cat asked.
"Not me. Maybe straight women can. But it's been my understanding that men are pretty selfish in bed anyways, so I would guess no for most of them as well."
Something shined in Cat's blue eyes, some memory that put a look of pain there. Jesse started to ask what was wrong, but Cat spoke first.
"Jesse, do you know your eyes change color when you're turned on?"
"And what makes you think I'm turned on?" Jess asked.
"I can just tell, from your voice, the way you were talking...and your eyes. I think I can read your face pretty well, and your eyes give away a lot. Especially just now. They got to be this really deep emerald color, really beautiful". As she spoke, Cat leaned in even closer, placing a hand on Jesse's leg.
Jesse turned those emerald eyes to Cat now. "You know Cat, this is a bad idea." IDIOT! Shouted her inner demon.
"What is?" Cat asked innocently. Too innocently.
"You know exactly what I mean!" Jesse accused. "Cat look; you're straight. I'm gay. We are stuck here together for what may be several days. I do NOT want to take advantage of you, or have you do something that you are not comfortable with. I will not be the big, bad lesbian that seduced her captive woman. I know that's what you're thinking about – you think you want to sleep with me. You want to try it. You're curious, you're excited...but trust me; you and I sleeping together would not be the best idea." Jesse's libido was screaming at her, telling her shut up and now! But her head stilled reigned supreme, and Jesse just couldn't lead Cat blindly into something she might regret.
Cat sighed, sitting back on the couch looking hurt and rejected for a moment. Jesse took a breath to try and explain further, but it seemed as though Cat was "thinking it through" so she held her tongue. Finally, Cat seemed to come to some conclusion. "I guess you're right. It's just that...well, I suppose it's been a long time since I've had any kind of sex at all, and it just sounded so damn hot. I guess I got carried away."
"Cat, I'm sorry...really. I'm not rejecting you or anything. I just don't think it would be so smart. I don't do quick casual one-night things, and this is just...." Jesse waved her hand, encompassing the whole of the cabin and the snow outside.
"I understand," Cat said, smiling softly. "It was just a moment". Jesse was relieved, since it seemed as though Cat really did understand. "Let's watch a movie, shall we?" Cat suggested, and Jesse agreed eagerly, anything to get off the subject of her and Cat and sex.
During the movie, Jesse had a hard time concentrating. Though she had successfully held Cat off, it was dubious success. She was also kicking herself for having done so. Cat had looked so inviting, so...hot. Jesse knew she had done the right thing, but for pity's sake the woman was just too sexy for comfort. And Cat didn't even seem to be aware of how sexy she was, which made it all the more enticing. Jesse knew she was in a bad state, and silently cursed Cat for causing the whole thing with her innocent questions. Jesse was hyperaware of Cat and every move the brunette made, but the damned woman didn't seem to be affected by the earlier atmosphere of sex and desire at all. Cat laughed easily at the antics in the stupid movie.
Meanwhile, all Jesse could wonder about was how good Cat would taste.
She wasn't quite sure what she was going to do when it came time for bed. Jesse began consuming large quantities of wine, encouraging Cat to drink up as well. When they finally called it a night, Jesse was drunk enough to fall right asleep, and saved herself the frustration of lying next to Cat without touching her.
As it was, the night followed the same routine as the previous night. After falling asleep on separate sides of the bed, they awoke to find themselves intimately entangled. This time however, Jesse and Cat were lying together facing one another, Jesse's arm and leg pinning Cat to the bed. Jesse opened her eyes to see Cat's brilliant blue ones looking up at her. The smaller woman smiled sweetly.
"Good morning Jess", Cat said softly.
Panicked, Jesse tried to remember just how drunk she had been last night. She did manage not to sleep with Cat, right? The previous evening came back, and Jesse was relieved.
"I'm sorry Cat, "Jesse said, removing her limbs from Cat's body. "you should have woken me up!"
"No big deal", Cat said, stretching like a cat once again while Jesse watched appreciatively. "I was comfortable, and you seemed like you needed some good sleep. I just woke up about 30 minutes ago or so myself, and decided not to bother you."