Mrs. Reid's Curious Christmas Vacation

"Sober companion," Andre said.

"Wow, you almost said that with a straight face," Dennis said, stroking his beard again. "So there's drugs involved as well."

Will sniffed again, shifting his feet. "Yeah, as part of my probation, they insisted I take a drug test right before the hearing. Like a real one. So, not only can I not be high before the trial, but I gotta like dry out, detox. They said booze is okay, but nothing else, not even pot."

Jen raised her eyebrows with a smirk. "Well, not nothing. I happen to have some plants in my garden that the FDA never heard of. You can't test for what you don't know."

Will and Andre looked at each other with theatrical grins. " Oh Reeaallyy....!"

"You two need to understand something right off the bat. We don't normally do bookings this way. And it is right around Christmas. You guys are really being an imposition. If we do this, I don't expect any trouble from either of you. Any problems, and you're out. Clear?"

Will clasped his hands to his chin as if in prayer. "Mrs. Reid. I hear what you are saying. However. Uncle Auggie, he likes to live vicariously through Andre and me's escapades. He loves to send us to wild places, do all kinds of crazy shit. Amsterdam, Dubai, we've been everywhere. Last spring break we went to Phuket. That's in Thailand."

Jen smiled condescendingly. "I didn't know that. Please, go on."

"So. Uncle Auggie said that you had, entertained, a couple of executives from his company last summer when they got stranded here. Said they came back with huge grins and great stories. We want some of that. Please." He pointed his hands in prayer at her.

"Mrs. Reid, I'm begging you. I won't stay out of trouble without parental supervision, and I can't stay at my house. My Uncle will pay any price that's fair. I need a place where I can get clean, without going out my damn mind. A place where I can party a little without making the Buzzfeed. And I need to crash here until my court date. I know this is sudden. But come on. Please."

"One other thing," Andre broke in, raising a long, slender finger. "This is not just a regular lodging thing. We were promised a great piece of ass lived here. I assume that's you. If we stay here, fat Santa here needs to understand, you are absolutely part of the deal."

Will pointed back and forth to his friend. "Yeah. For the both of us. That's what Auggie said. Said you would be cool with that."

Dennis stared down the two punks. "That sort of thing does happen here from time to time. That does not mean I am down, as you kids say."

"I realize it's cold out, but would you two mind waiting here while my husband and I discuss this? Thanks." Jen led her husband into the parlor, where they talked in hushed tones.

"Told you. I Knew opportunity was coming today."

Dennis stroked his beard. "Stop. You serious? You want to take these guys on? Seems like a pain in the ass."

"It is. But, like you said, bookings are in the toilet. We can skin these two, pay for the property tax come first of the year."

"You getting any vibes off these guys? They bullshitting us? I don't trust this."

She shook her head. "I don't trust them for shit, but they believe what they're saying."

"So would these guys be like sacrificial bulls for you? Does it work like that?"

"No, they'd just be for fun."

"Babysitting two stoners sounds like fun?"

She shrugged. "Goddess sends a gift, I don't complain. It's your call, hon. I'm down for this, but if you don't want to, we can always find another way. It's not like we don't know how to make money."

Dennis sighed, hugged his wife and kissed her on the head. "No. I concede to the Goddess. Alright. Let's do it. Besides, I know you. That glint in your eye tells me you relish the challenge. Call it an early Christmas present for you."

She squeezed her big burly bear tighter. "You're the best, honey. Really."

They went back to the two gentleman callers. Both were playing with their phones.

"Okay, first things first. Our house, our rules."

Will brightened right up. "Oh sure! Whatever you need!"

"Good," Dennis said, holding out his hand. "First things first. Hand over the phones."

"Hold up." Andre did a complete 360 spin on one toe like Michael Jackson. He was really quite good at it. "You're taking our phones?"

Dennis waved his fingers. "Otherwise you're taking pictures and videos, and constantly blogging about your adventures, and inviting people over. So yes, phones." They reluctantly handed them over.

Dennis read them the riot act. "One. You are under house arrest here. Neither of you leave. You need something, I go get it. Check? Good. Two. No drugs at all besides the booze I will furnish you, and the herbal remedies Mrs. Reid makes for you."

Jen folded her arms across her chest. "You will find them pleasant. Maybe not as good as main line pharmaceuticals, but not bad. I really can get the traces of illegal drugs out of your system by the court date. But only as long as you don't put any more back in. Check?" More nodding.

"Outstanding." Dennis ticked off numbers on his fingers. "Standard room here is 150 a night. Times two rooms. Times 21 days."

Will raised a finger. "Actually, a few days around Christmas, we won't be here. We're supposed to go back for the family thing, then come back here."

Dennis shook his head. "Don't care. You pay the full three weeks. Add to that the general pain in the ass factor, that comes to .. five grand a week."

Andre grabbed his chest like he was having a heart attack. "Oh! Dennis, my man, you're pretty proud of this place! Dude, if it costs that much, then get this." He started ticking off his fingers just like Dennis just did. "Your wife is going to be the main attraction. My man Will gets to fuck her. I get to fuck her. Anyplace, anytime. This is like free use house here. Check?"

Dennis scowled. "As long as she's up for that. She can always tell you no if she's not up for it."

Jen smiled and winked at Andre. "By the same token, she can always tell you yes if she is. It's really up to you then, Will. Fifteen thousand, and you got yourself a detox retreat with benefits. Deal?"

She held out her hand. He shook it. "Deal." He looked over at Andre and smiled. "See man? This is gonna cost way less than Phuket. You take Amex?"

Dinner looked like some strange Norman Rockwell painting. They sat at the big old dining table built for twelve, with the good china and cloth out. Dennis carved the ham, fresh out of the oven, rolling up the sleeves on his flannel to get them out of the way. Will and Andre wore the same jeans and T shirts they came in with. Jennifer always went all out when she dressed for dinner. Tonight she wore a red and white polka dot dress that showed a healthy amount of cleavage. Bright red lipstick with matching red pumps. A strand of oversize fake white pearls and her hair done up in a beehive completed the look. She could have been Leave it to Beaver's sexy aunt from out of town. She poured some mead for their very special guests.

They had as lovely dinner as they could manage. Jennifer and Dennis kept up their end of the conversation, but college only seemed to taught these two a few repetitive phrases and swear words. The gist of it was Uncle Auggie pretty much bankrolled their existence, and even though they were dumb, they weren't so stupid as to break the golden goose. So, they really did need a place to lay low and get Will clean for his upcoming court appearance. Jen assured them she could keep them entertained, and that her special herbal remedies would detox their systems without causing too much of a withdrawal.

Will tried impressing them with stories of his college antics, but to the older couple they just seemed ... annoying. They kept staring at Jen, and Jen's breasts in particular, like she was on the menu. Dennis got quieter as the meal progressed, so that by the time he served the pecan pie, he was merely watching the three of them interact, no longer participating. Will in particular kept looking over at Dennis, the unspoken question on his face over and over. Is this guy okay with this? Is he getting mad? Can I get away with this?

Finished with the excellent meal (which he did not thank Dennis for), Will drained his wine glass (again) and got up. Keeping an eye on his host, he loped around behind Jen's chair. "So, you're cool with us staying here the whole three weeks huh? Anything we want?"

Dennis folded his arms. "Within reason, yes."

"So, is this within reason?" Will reached around Jen on either side and grabbed her boobs. He stared at Dennis while he bobbled them. Dennis stared back.

"Aside from I wish you would have washed your hands after eating, yes, that's fine."

"Oh, seriously?" Will scooped up a bit of gravy from Jen's plate with a finger. "Clean that off for me, honey." Jen obediently leaned forward and sucked on Will's finger. Longer than she needed to. Andre started a slow clap. "Aww yeah, this bitch will play!"

Will dabbed his fingers in the leftover gravy and mashed potatoes a few more times, making her lick it off. Watching for a reaction from her husband, but not getting one. So, he dropped a bit of potato on her cleavage, then leaned in and ate it off. He looked back up at Dennis and smacked his lips. Dennis stood up. "Well, if Jen is willing to entertain you two gentlemen, I will go ahead and clear the table." He started to bus the dirty china and took it back to the kitchen.

"What's the matter bro? You mad?" Andre called after him. "Not at all," Jen replied for her husband, pulling Will down into her chest again. She reached up and fondled his crotch. "He just doesn't want you to play with your food and waste good leftovers." Andre got up and came over to her chair. Will stood up and they high fived as Dennis came back in for more dishes. Jen started feeling both men up through their jeans. Andre dove a big, long fingered hand down her top, squeezing her breast.

"Your wife's a real freak, man."

Dennis grabbed the ham platter. "Don't I know it! If sex was an Olympic event, Jen would be a gold medalist! I get a rest break while you two are here. You all have fun now!" Not seeming upset in the least, Dennis finished cleaning up the table as the college boys took out their cocks. They were plenty hard from Jen's groping. They felt hot and needy in her expert slender hands. She stroked them both while sitting at the dining room table, alternating between twisting on the shaft and quickly rubbing on the heads. She took one, then the other into her mouth. Andre kept his hand down her top, pinching her nipple until she squealed. Will was impressed.

"We are gonna turn her the fuck out man! Damn, she could suck a golf ball through a garden hose! I'm losing it over here bro!"

Andre pulled her off his friend to get her to suck him some more. "That's it whore. Go to work!"

She fought him for a bit, so she could get him out of her mouth. "Hey! Easy on the hair Tiger! It took me a while to get it like this. Would you boys be more comfortable going out to the parlor? We have cigars out there." Will shrugged.

"Sure. Fuck it. Hey Dennis! We're gonna go fuck your wife in the living room!"

"Sounds good!" they heard from the kitchen. "You guys want a brandy later?"

"Uhh, sure," he said, shaking his head as they pulled Jen to her feet and escorted her to the front parlor.

Andre smacked playfully smacked his friend. "Bro, you know who Dennis is? Dr. Rick!"

"The fuck is that?"

"Dude, the guy from the insurance commercials, where people act like their parents?"

Will shook his head as he pulled Jenny down the hall. "That guy doesn't have a beard, though."

Andre looked exasperated as they marched the little housewife around and into the front parlor. He used his hand to cover his jaw. "Lose the beard, dumbass. Think about it."

The Christmas tree was decorated and lit in the round turret section of the parlor, with the fireplace burning. Andre pushed her over by the tree, and skinned out of his T shirt. His lean, muscular body had killer abs, and he knew it. She licked her lips a little in anticipation. Will took off his shirt too, circling around to her side like a coyote. He wasn't quite as muscular as his friend, but he still looked good, even with all the ridiculous tattoos. Andre grabbed her by the beehive, shaking it and forcing her in to kiss him. "Let's just get that out of the way right now." Her hair was now an unkempt mess with stray strands along her face. "Slutty looks good on you."

He pushed her forward to the Davenport sofa, bending her over the back of it. He pressed up behind her, pulling her dress up over her hips. "Damn, this bitch forgot to put on panties!"

She looked back at him. "I didn't forget shit." Her eyes got big in a fake innocent look. "You two aren't going to have your way with me, are you? After all, I'm a married housewife!" Andre responded by kicking her knees wider apart, holding his dick against her and finding her already wet. He spanked her pussy lips with it just to make sure. "Not tonight you're not," he snarled as he plunged into her. He smacked her ass as he talked. "Tonight .. you ain't nothing but .. our little ... bitch!" He went to work on her, holding her by the hips and plunging in and out. She hammed it up. "Stop it! Uhh! You brute! Unhand me! You can't do this to me! I'm Privileged!" That got a laugh. Andre nodded to Will, who had finished taking off all his clothes. "Man, shut this bitch up already."

"With pleasure." Will got up on the cushions of the Davenport, standing in front of Jen with his erection pointed at her. She took him into her mouth, little moans escaping her lips. Her technique was flawless. He leaned over and grabbed a couple of cigars off the end table. He handed one to his buddy.

"I love it when a plan comes together!" he cheered as he bit down on the cigar. Andre smiled with his sparkling white grin, cigar in one corner. "Fuckin A, Willy. This is just like Phuket!"

Jen continued to drag her red lips up and down Will's shaft, sometimes popping it out long enough to say more fake protestations. Andre kept on driving her, hitting her thighs hard enough to cause the sofa to squeak with each thrust. Her squeals came louder, higher.

"You going to nut woman? You fucking nut all over that dick, that's it! Hey yo, Dennis! I got your shorty wife nutting all over my dick!"

"Yes, that's nice," he called from the kitchen. The two just laughed as she came, squirting a little juice on the hardwood floor. Andre started grunting. "Fuck! She gets hotter after she nuts! Yeah yeah yeah!"

"Dude, don't come in her. I ain't getting no sloppy seconds off your dumb ass."

Andre jackrabbited as he climaxed. "Let me show you what a good friend I am bro!" He pulled out and jacked off all over her ass, come shooting on to the small of her back as well as the swell of her ass cheeks. He wiped his dick off on her dress, slapping her ass with it. Only then did he let her stand up. She looked over at Will, green eyes sparkling, hair a mess.

"You're the guest in my house. How do you want me?"

He looked over at the tree. Grinning around the unlit stogie, he pulled her over and put her on her back next to the presents. "Best Christmas Vacation ever! Right, cousin Eddie?"

He looked back at Andre, who was fooling around trying to light his cigar. "Sure Clark. You're Clark fucking Griswald over here." Will positioned himself on top of her. She spread for him on the floor as he got inside her. He posted up on his hands, so that he could see her tits jiggle as he pumped into her. He paused only long enough to roughly pull her top down, exposing her full breasts completely, and fucking up her hair some more.

"There! Now that's how a proper housewife should look!" He started in hard, pumping away into her pussy. She reached up and locked her hands around his neck. The pained look of pleasure on her face turned him on as much as the little groans she made over and over. He filled her up. She felt another orgasm coming, and moaned it out, louder and louder. Will felt his coming too, and as she fingered herself to climax, he pulled out, spraying her chest with a healthy shot of come. Afterwards, he collapsed on her, both of them sweaty, sticky, breathing heavy under the lights of the Christmas tree.

"Best... Christmas .... Ever. You are going to be my best Christmas present ever." He kissed her on her sweaty cheek. She grinned a dopey grin and nodded, kissing him back.

They put Will and Andre in the Lavender and Dogwood rooms, as they were the least impressive. The Rose room had the best furnishings and overlooked the gardens. Jen didn't want them doing a drunken dive off the balcony in back. And Turret room in front was, well, the damn Turret room. Dennis was still planning on finishing off the electrical work he had started in the Bridal Suite, which occupied the entire attic third floor. He wanted it done in a few weeks. Once they had parked the Range Rover in the garage and settled into their rooms, the Reids were able to retire for the night.

Jen stepped out of the walk in shower in their basement quarters. Unlike the upstairs rooms, their apartment down here was done in much more conventional, modern tones. No Victorian antiques down here. They had all of Dennis' modern electronic toys out on display. She toweled off in front of her husband, studying him as he finished brushing his teeth.

"Brutal Honesty. I'm worried this is harder on you than you're letting on. Talk to me."

He rinsed and turned to her, leaning on the counter. This was an old routine for them, a way to check in.

"Brutal honesty. I'm more concerned with those two crossing lines with you. They have no respect. I don't like the way they treated you tonight." He went to her and took the towel from her, drying her hair for her.

"We don't need the money. Not that bad. Not if it's going to be a problem. Okay, thank you darling." She took the towel back and wrapped it around her torso. "It usually doesn't upset you when you watch me with people. Tonight bothered you though, I could tell."

He stroked his red beard as he looked away in thought. "It's not that they were fucking you, obviously. I'm not thrilled with them just barging in here on their terms and staying for three weeks. Usually you just keep a guy for one night, even just one hour. And they don't pay for it. This feels different."

"Brutal honesty. I kind of like taking their money. I like that they're annoying and cocky, in an infuriating kind of way. Because I'm going to break them. I intend to break their little brains right open, and scoop out all their fantasies and ego trips. And they'll pay me to do it."

Dennis looked at her with serious intention. "Jennifer, taking their money for sex, with the idea that they will pine after you for the rest of their lives? That's so ... Immoral. You should be ashamed!" They both looked in each others eyes. And cracked up laughing in the bathroom. Jen leaned in to hug her big bear of a husband. "Oh, I love you so much!" She squeezed him tighter, then looked up at him, smiling.

"Mrs. Reid, you are six foot of crazy inside five foot of sexy!"

She slapped him. "I'm five two!" She reached up and played with his beard. "I like it red. I'm glad you dyed your hair when we moved here. It suits your coloring better."

He stroked his beard. "I guess I'm getting used to it. Easy camouflage."

Her hand met his and clasped it, brought it to her lips for a kiss. "No rules but our own. That was our vows, and we never broke them. So I'm not going to start now. Brutal Honesty: Go or no go on these jerks?"

He looked down at his pretty wife, holding her in his arms. "I'm not enthusiastic right now, but it's a Go. The part that really bugs me is they don't deserve you. I mean, most of them, when you pick them, they catch your eye. They've done something to warrant your attention. Feels like you're a reward. But these guys are just paying for it. It's not even their money!"