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"Take away, I can't cook tonight."
- COMMENTS
Telugu1over 2 years agoThis was a really sexy story, espcially when told from "mum's" point of view. The only thing I will suggest is if you have to keep switching the point of view (personally I prefer first person from female pointof view, but that's just me) , could you make it obvious before reading that paragraph. you could do this very easily by having a single line with the name of the comning point of view. It would make it much easier to read and allow the reader to concentrate on the very sexy story rather than having to do a mental flip each time the POV changes.
I do not want to detratc from what is, otherwise, a vedry erotic tale.
Thankyou for taking the time to write this and I cannot wait to read more of yuor work.
Tony
