Mutual Benefits Ch. 02

I wanted to say that instead of dumbly sitting here like a bag of bricks listening to her complain about her English teacher. Then again, 'in a bind?' Maybe it was all the better that I wasn't opening my mouth.

"But hey, that's English," she finished. "Anyway, what's on for today?"

"Right." I sat up straight and looked over the textbook. "So, uh, you're getting permutations, so let's move on to combinations. It's kind of like permutations, but not ordered. So, kind of like, if I wanted to choose two colors from a set of six colors, how many different combinations of two colors could I pick? Make sense?"

Taylor nodded. "You're getting better at this."

"What, the math? I'd hope so, it's what I'm here to teach."

Taylor smirked and shook her head. "At the talking part of teaching. I'm getting this stuff quicker."

I shrugged. "Well hey, I bet that's because you're getting more of this stuff too. We're both getting better."

Her smile got bigger. "I guess so," she replied cheerfully. I was rock hard. This wasn't ideal.

***

"Son of a bitch!" Kevin complained as Father Gascoigne killed his character for the fourth time in a row. "This sucks."

"You're still playing it like Dark Souls," I pointed out.

Kevin glared at me. "It's a Souls game, you fuckin' poop."

"It's different though. It's faster. You have to change your gameplay style to keep up with it," I argued.

Kevin sighed and shook his head. "This sucks," he repeated, eyes glued to the screen.

I shrugged. "If the game is faster, you have to be faster too."

"Quinn!" Mother called from the kitchen. "In the kitchen, right now."

Kevin and I shot each other a look as I got up from the couch and headed towards the kitchen. Mother was there, preparing supper.

"I'm here, Mother," I called to her as I approached.

She turned around to face me and motioned to the trash can. "I tell you to take out the garbage this morning. The garbage is still here. Can you tell me why the garbage is still here?"

"I'm sorry, Mother. I forgot," I mumbled as I extended my arm towards the garbage.

"I do not ask for much," Mother continued, swatting my arm away so that I would look at her when she was talking to me. "I give you too much free time. You do not have a job, you do not have clubs or social activity. You do not have a girlfriend, you just have video games."

"I was doing homework, Mother. Kevin was playing video ga-"

"Fei hua!" Mother cut in angrily. "I am giving you too much free time and you are wasting it. Tonight after homework you will create a résumé and tomorrow you will apply for three jobs. Do you understand?"

Mandarin. She was serious. "Yes, Mother. I understand." I took the garbage bag and left the apartment, taking it to the chute. Sighing to myself, I threw the garbage down, listening to the bang-rattle-clang of the garbage making its way down.

After the sound died down, I heard voices down the hallway. Out of curiosity, I turned to see a couple talking, a man and a woman. The woman was noticeably way more attractive than the man. I wasn't the best judge on the planet, but the guy frankly looked... well, ugly. The woman, on the other hand, looked noticeably beautiful, both in terms of her looks and how she dressed. And judging from the body language, his looks didn't bother her one bit.

In fact, he was kind of leaning in to invade her personal space. "So what do you think, maybe sometime next week?" he asked her suavely, then leaned in a little more. "Of course, if you decide you're not done seeing me now..." he trailed off suggestively.

The woman laughed encouragingly. "You are such a boy," she teased. "What are you offering?"

She was clearly into him. He had nothing going for him in the looks department, but he just... pressed on. I wish I had that level of confidence. Hell, the advancement I made just recently was already a leap, but if I had this guy's moxie, even with my looks I would have made out alright. He leaned in to respond before noticing me, leaning back and changing his posture. "...Can I help you?"

Too embarrassed to even talk, I just turned and walked away before the woman even had a chance to get a look at me. Red-faced, I walked back to the apartment and reflected.

As weird as it sounded, it was one of those things I knew but never felt before. "You don't need good looks to get the girl." Or guy, or whoever. I mean, what was the guy doing if not just talking to her? Sure, maybe he had money or something, but it's not like I knew. Besides, I just saw an ugly guy getting a hot girl - I was not about to try to explain it away using some reason I didn't know.

I got back to my room just in time to see Kevin die again. He slammed his controller in his lap in annoyance and turned to face me. "Was Mother pissed?" he asked.

I shrugged and nodded. "She wants me to get a job. She's probably gonna ask you too soon, fair warning."

"I got extracurrs, I ain't worried."

"Do you think I'm ugly?"

Kevin paused. "That was... blatant. No, I think you look okay, why do you ask?"

"I dunno, just was thinking about it. It's cool if I am, I just wanna know."

"Quinn, you look fine. You just need to... get out there a little more, that's all. Talk to people. You're tutoring Taylor, maybe use that as an in."

"Yeah. 'Here's how a combination is calculated. Hey Taylor, can I come to the next party you go to?'"

"You joke, but that could work." He put down the controller. "You do realize the implication of asking your twin if you're ugly, right?"

"You're more popular than me, and it's pretty clear you look slightly better than me."

Kevin grinned in a challenging fashion. "Oh, so I'm slightly better than allegedly ugly, huh?" He laughed at me. "Dude, just relax. If I look good, and I can get girls, then those are the control variables. What's the independent variable here?"

I sighed. "How much I put myself out socially?"

"Bingo! Hypothesis: can Quinn get pussy? Method: get a dumb hot girl in your class and become her tutor. Conclusion: not for the first month he can't."

"Taylor isn't fucking dumb."

I had no idea where that came from. I didn't often swear at my brother like that. Hell, he was the only one I ever really talked to. I wasn't even sure if I believed she wasn't dumb myself, but for some reason, when Kevin said it, the words spilled out of me in a white-hot rage.

Kevin looked at me incredulously. "Woah," he mumbled in disappointment to me before going back to his game. He didn't look me in the eye for the rest of the night.

***

Taylor was enough of a social butterfly that she could fit into any social group she wanted to talk to, but usually, she had her own little circle of friends. It wasn't like the movies, where they always walked in the halls together or couldn't be part of other circles or they were the most popular group (as if groups even worked that black-and-white), so it was hard to discern what her circle was from the outside, but after tagging along with her for a bit, it became decently clear.

Taylor, of course, was the ringleader, but some kind of accidental ringleader. She wasn't one of those stuck-up 'I rule the school' types, she just happened to get the most attention. A cynic might have said she wasn't smart enough to capitalize on her fame - honestly, the more time I spent with her the more it became clear that power and influence wasn't really what she wanted.

Crystal was that type though. It was kind of obvious from the outside that Crystal only really hung out with that gang because of how much influence it had. Crystal was a brunette with a thin, wiry body and the weirdest combination of a 'resting bitch face' and complete innocence to her look. She had an attitude that most dismissed as bratty, but with my guess, that was her constantly trying to push the envelope and see if she could upset the power imbalance and finally claim the status of ringleader for herself. Only problem was, she was extremely clumsy at it and anytime she got close, something she said or some rumor or some, ahem, thing she did after school would blow up in her face.

It was pretty clear why Taylor was closer to Morgan than anyone else. As if my meeting with her didn't already clue me in, Morgan was very protective of her friends and noticeably distrustful of others. I thought that would explain why she talked to me the way she did, but from the way she talked to outsiders from her group, she actually talked to me with less disdain than anyone else. I wasn't sure if her having a noticeably huge chest and the fact the hated outsiders, especially guys, was related, but I was reasonably sure that was the case.

Lexi was Crystal's best friend and seemed to not quite have her social status figured out but she seemed to be down for the ride. The shortest in the group by a decent amount, she practically had to jump to be noticed by them. I would say 'she made up for it with her bubbly and sarcastic personality,' but honestly, if that personality wasn't being ignored by the group, then it seemed to work against Lexi. My inner cynic would have told me her personality was too strong for her to be popular, and maybe the girls had yet to realize it.

The final person in the group was Milo. When he arrived at the school his name wasn't Milo and to be honest I was surprised as hell, knowing what I knew about the popular kids, that the trans friend wasn't immediately ostracized from the group. I guess their years of friendship won out. He was probably another good reason why Morgan was so very with-us-or-against-us. Me, I didn't really have an opinion about him. When he transitioned he was the top name on everyone's lips for like a week, until some lovestruck wannabe gangster kid broke a window to impress his ex or something and got arrested. Conveniently, everyone forgot about Milo, and despite the group he was in, that seemed to suit him just fine.

When GameStop took me in as their latest employee, the first shift they gave me was on Thursday. I was too shy to ask for a reschedule of my first shift and admitted to Taylor that I couldn't make it. Taylor was surprisingly pragmatic and immediately suggested I meet her at her lunch table instead, which is what we did. Morgan, Crystal, Lexi and Milo did the usual popular friend group thing where they smiled politely at me but didn't say a single word, and Taylor and I got right to work.

We got nothing done. The cafeteria was noisy, the attempt to eat and learn at the same time was a disaster, and while Taylor had a pragmatic attitude, if any of her friends was around at any time (which, during a group lunch, go figure, they were) she would get distracted immediately. She could basically only give me ten seconds at a time, then talk to a friend because she heard something that set her off, then turn back to me with a telltale, "Okay, sorry, what?" Then I'd have to re-explain. Rinse and repeat.

After the first one went nowhere, given a test was coming up soon, we agreed to meet at lunch the following day. The group of friends, notably Crystal, were getting a bit annoyed that I was becoming such a regular at their table, but when Taylor gave them the sad eyes routine, they waved it off.

Taylor was even less focused this time than before. I tried really hard not to eavesdrop, but it became abundantly clear why she wasn't paying attention - the group was having a bit of a crisis.

"What am I supposed to do?!" Crystal asked in desperation. "I can't walk down the hallways anymore. Fuck. Oh my god, I'm so embarrassed."

"So what?" Milo asked. "Boys get excited about nudes all the time. People are gonna call you slut for a few days, but fuck them. They don't know you. Okay? They don't know you."

"So you break up with Mitchell and he instantly sends your nudes around?" Morgan asked incredulously.

"Fucking pig," Crystal agreed.

"Oh my god!" Taylor was into this conversation now. "Do you know how far they got? How many boys?"

"I think it's safe to say the gifted kids aren't seeing my titties anytime soon," Crystal joked, then immediately cringed and looked at me. "Uh, no offense."

I shot a stealthy look at Morgan, but pretended like I was barely noticing the conversation. I shrugged meekly.

"Anyway, like, a lot. I have boys that don't even know me catcalling me and shit."

"Well, it's annoying, but it's not like it's the end of the world, right?" Lexi jumped in.

"No, guys, you don't understand!" She leaned in, as did the rest of the group. I think they were trying to make sure even I didn't hear what she whispered next, but I did. "They're the ones I sent him when I was..." I didn't catch the last word.

"Really?!" Lexi asked, surprised. "If I wanted to show you off revenge-porn style, like, your camera technique has only gotten better since. The fuck is he getting by-"

"Not funny." Morgan interrupted. She turned to Crystal. "Do any of your teachers know?"

"Oh my God, I'm gonna be fucking expelled," Crystal realized with horror painting her face.

"I thought Mitchell was better than that," Lexi carried on. "I could see like Jake doing that, but not Mitchell."

"Oh my god, fucking Jake," Taylor interjected. "Like, he's such an asshole, but..."

"I totally would," Lexi agreed, reading her mind.

"Would? I did!" Taylor giggled.

"What?!" Lexi blurted out. "Betrayal! When? How was he?!"

"Hello? Guys? I thought you were my friends!! Who cares about fucking Jake at a time like this?!" Crystal angrily spat out.

"He kissed me, but he said he was 'holding out for someone he loves.' I thought he was a softie," Lexi complained.

"Yeah, he didn't say that to me, you clearly did something wrong," Taylor told her.

"Hey!" Morgan sharply interrupted.

"Oh what?" Lexi asked, annoyed. "If you didn't want to get busted like this, why'd you even send him nudes? You knew the risks!"

"That's not fair."

My voice. That was my voice. All five of the friends turned to me as I felt my face redden. A took a deep breath and repeated, "That's not fair."

"Not fair?" Lexi challenged me.

"Crystal was, uh, sending her - someone she loved, nudes. Consenting...ly. She was giving him permission to, you know, see her body. So when, uh, Mitchell sent her nudes to other people, as an act of revenge, knowing she's underage in them, he's the one that broke that trust and got other people to see them, not her."

Lexi was unmoved. "Um, sending nudes of yourself when you're underage is a crime, boy. If she didn't send them in the first place she'd be fine."

My tone was weak but I held fast. "Have you ever sent nudes before?"

Lexi gave a single laugh condescendingly. "I'm sorry, have you?"

"No, you got me. I'm a virgin. Nice job. Never kissed a girl, never had sex, never got sent a nude, never sent a nude myself. but if I did, I'd be feeling really hurt if someone betrayed me by sending them to other people as soon as I wasn't in a relationship with them. And I'd be feeling even more hurt if I confided this in my own friends and the first thing they did was blame me. Even if Crystal might have broken the law, distributing this pornography is also illegal, right? Is Mitchell still in this school right now? So they both have broken the law. One sounds like an asshole and one is your friend. Why are you making her feel bad for breaking the law because she trusted someone, when someone else broke the law specifically to hurt your friend?"

No one said anything for a bit. "He - yeah!" Crystal finally shouted, gesturing towards me and staring daggers at Lexi.

"I don't think talking to Mitchell would solve anything," Morgan grimly added, eyeing the floor.

Milo turned to me. "That was really sweet, Quinn," he told me, a soft smile on his face. "It's nice to see men standing up for her."

"We need more male voices like yours," Morgan agreed, and raked her face with her fingers. "God, I wish men weren't such assholes."

Taylor was smiling at me. She waited until the others had moved on and turned to me. "That was a cool thing you did," she said.

"I don't think Lexi is going to like me much now," I mumbled.

Taylor rolled her eyes and laughed. "You clearly don't know Lexi. By tomorrow she'll have completely forgotten everything you just said."

"Which means she's just going to keep believing Crystal was at fault for trusting her boyfriend," I mused.

Taylor gave me a look, a look I couldn't quite identify. It didn't look happy, nor sad, nor neutral. Just... something. "Yeah," she said quietly. "Do you think we have enough time to study?"

I glanced up at the cafeteria clock. "Honestly, no," I admitted. "Plus, it sounds like your friend is hurting."

Taylor gave me a sad chuckle. She didn't speak for the longest time. "Quinn..." she started.

"Yeah?"

She gave a great big pause. "You're, uh... you're cool. I'm sorry about that thing Crystal said today."

I shrugged. "It's not like she was wrong. But for the record, I wouldn't want to see that nude of her anyway. I mean..." My face scrunched up. "I don't mean that as if she doesn't look nice, I just mean... I'd only want to see her body... on her terms... if we were like that."

"Yeah," Taylor quietly agreed.

"I should go. I hope you all resolve this soon," I told her as I stood up and put my book back in my bag. She smiled politely then turned back to her friend group. They were still in a huddle as I walked out of the cafeteria.

I can probably just finish my lunch in the study hall or something, I reasoned to myself as I kept walking. On the way, I saw some guys outside the gym. They were huddled around one guy, showing off something on his phone. They were hooting and hollering and offering him fist bumps as they gawked over whatever the phone was showing.

Somehow I didn't need to think hard to know what was on those phones. She was worried she might get expelled. He was getting fist bumps.

***

GameStop was alright. It was a job. Stand and work the cash register. Answer questions. Make sure people don't steal stuff. Know where the game CDs are. The hours simultaneously lasted forever and went by way too quickly. Thoughtfully, they decided to put my first shift alongside the one guy in the universe who was shier and talked less than I did. Either that or I really was getting better at this whole socialization thing.

I came home to an awaiting smiling Mother and a small basket of sweet nian gao. "Well done on completing your first shift, my son." Mother said to me. "I am very proud." She picked up the basket and offered it to me.

"Hey, wow! Thank you," I said bashfully. I loved red bean snacks, not to mention I started associating them with accomplishments (or the New Year).

"How was it?" she asked.

I shrugged. "It's a job," I laughed. "I don't think I'll be working much at GameStop after I graduate. Where's Kevin?"

"He is out, also giving résumés to stores," Mother explained, getting a broom and absentmindedly sweeping the floor.

I smirked to myself. So, the extracurriculars didn't save him after all. Mother and I made small talk about the future for a bit longer before I dismissed myself to my room. Normally I would have booted up my PS4, but after working all day, at a games store no less, I just flopped down on my bed and lay there. No sleep, no games, just a dead tired Quinn.

After a few minutes, my phone started to buzz. I lazily lifted my head to look at my phone and saw Taylor's name on my phone. She was calling me. Weird.

I hit the "talk" button and put my phone to my ear. I didn't say anything. After a few seconds of silence, a hesitant, "...Quinn?" met my ears.

Oh, right. "Hello, Taylor. How can I help you?"

"Hey. So, I'm like, freaking out. The test is tomorrow, right?"

"I believe so. For Data Management, right?"

"Yeah. But, like, I still don't know how to do combinations, and Mrs. Li wouldn't give me an extension! What do I do?"