My Calm Ch. 03

"It's not a picture." He said calmly. "It's surveillance."

Just as those words came from his mouth, I walked into the frame. I wore my favourite black tank top and black tights. I paused and shifted my attention to the photo and I grabbed it.

I watched in horror. "The camera moved. Why did it follow me? Did you make it do that?"

"The cameras are movement sensitive. If you move, they will follow you. I have them set up in all the communal areas like the hallway, kitchen and balconies. All the vulnerable places in the house have cameras." I paused and grabbed the frame. It took almost a whole minute of staring before I moved again. It was like I didn't breathe for that whole minute. I changed, became someone else. I saw it. I felt it. Yurik paused the video just before I started touching myself.

"Have you watched the whole video?" I asked him. I couldn't look into those eyes right now.

"Alfonzo." He said like it meant nothing. "He is the head of my security and has the password to the security in the house. The others haven't see it. I'm sure."

"I don't care who's seen it. Did you watch he whole video?"

"It was live streamed to me."

"You watched me fuck myself with the picture of you. It does explain why that second phone call came in so fast after I came." I said all I had to say without thinking about what I actually said and to whom. "Why am I here?"

"You cannot do this anymore." He said this with a hint of authority.

"Explain this rule to me so I can decide if I want to obey it." I was calm. I just couldn't bring myself to look at him.

"You are allowed to pleasures yourself as much as you want. However, I do not want it on camera for other people to see." Yurik explained. "Your language is vulgar, change it."

"For other people to see?" I asked him. "You're bothered that other people saw me? You're not bothered that I touched myself while thinking of you?"

He sighed heavily. I couldn't tell if it was because of frustration or defeat. I remembered Yurik when he became angry. That Yurik made me wet. No, every type of Yurik made me wet. "I do not care who you think of whenever you do that to yourself..."

"When I fuck myself?"

"Yes."

"You don't mind that I imagine you're the one touching me, manipulating my body and making me come?" my eyes were on him this time. I felt bold and hot. It was like I was standing up to the bully. "How many times have you watched that video?"

"That will be all." He shrugged me off like I didn't matter. It bothered me.

I stood, but I didn't leave. "Does it bother you that Alfie saw me doing it?" I leaned over his desk and stared deep into his eyes. His jaw clenched when I licked my lips and I knew that I still had a little power over him.

Without breaking the imaginary connection between us, I straightened up and brushed my hair over my shoulder. My hands settled on my thighs and began bunching the green silk together as they slid further up my thighs. My nails dug into my skin, leaving red welts behind.

The further up I went, the more his gaze slanted. He kept his focus on my exploring hands. At the apex of my thighs, I revealed my cute maroon lace underwear. The breeze hit me hard and shivers ran all over my skin. I cupped my mound with urgency.

Nadinne was there, just a wall separated us from her.

The rubbing, it felt different. Every movement became intensified because his eyes were on me. He remained motionless but his eyes shifted from my hands to my eyes, which remained on his. My breathing became the only sound that seemed to echo in the room. I felt dizzy but I stood my ground. This was his show.

The muscles of my inner thighs flexed repeatedly and my body glowed from the slight sheen of sweat. I felt beautiful, sensual and powerful. I watched his adamsappel bob up and down and his jaw become more defined each time he clenched his teeth.

The silk felt tight and it seemed like steam rose all around me. I refused to stop. I needed it. I needed this. More importantly, I needed Yurik. Watching his fingers turned me on. I imagined what they could do to me. My heart pounded against my chest and exploded. I wanted it to last longer but I came too quickly. My thighs clamped shut around my hand. I refused to close my eyes.

Yurik watched the fireworks explode and fade into nothingness behind my eyes. I saw nothing behind his own. I remembered seeing want and lust. It was gone. His green orbs contained nothing but cold distance. Where had the fire gone?

"Are you satisfied?" he asked me.

The folds of my dress fell to my knees and I regained my breath. I searched in his eyes but found nothing. "Not yet."

Leaving quietly seemed like he best thing to do at the time, so I did.

While in my room, alone, I wandered. I sat with my face pressed against the glass of my window that stretched from the black floors to the white ceiling. Below, the cars passed me by on the street. A high rise apparent stared back at me, blocking the view that I wish I had. It was closer than I ever saw before. The window opposite mine had the light on and I saw straight into their living room.

I saw myself on that brown couch with my feet on the coffee table, I wore green socks and comfy pyjamas. The TV flooded the room with blue light so I could see my own expression. I seemed content.

Someone else came into the blue light. It was Yurik. He asked me something, probably what show was on. I bet I replied with 'our favourite'. He sat next to me, draped his arm over my shoulder and pulled me closer. I snuggled up against him.

Everything appeared to be normal. It was a normal that seemed impossible to obtain. We would never have the apartment across the street. Our life would never be normal. I had to come to terms with that. "Normal is boring." I said, but ignored the cracking in my voice.

Yurik and I would never amount to a 'we' or an 'our'. It was all too clear.

The next morning, I woke up in a foul mood. Everything and everyone seemed to irritate me just by existing. I stayed in my room until Alfie called. We rode to school in silence, I refused to press any conversation out of him.

I sat in English class and starred at the clock which seems extra slow today. My tie felt too tight and my right pinkie toe ached from the constant pressure it was under. Anne sat next to me, since she was my new BFF, and concentrated on what the teacher spoke about.

Just as the bell rang, I was the first out of my chair and out the door. I went to the bathroom to sort myself out. The few splashes of cold water on my face calmed me down and I actually felt better. I slowed my breathing but my hands kept shaking. I never felt like this before. What was happening to me?

Anne came in and hugged me out of nowhere. "What's wrong?" She asked. "Nothing, let's just go to class." I snapped at her. I kind of felt bad about it. It wasn't her fault that I couldn't control my anger.

She grabbed me by the arm and dragged me into one of the stalls. After locking the door, she held both my hands. Out of nowhere, I started crying. "I hate this feeling. I can't control my emotions."

"We can stay here if you want to." She suggested.

"Are you kidding me?" I laughed out loud while tears ran down my cheeks. "Miss Perfect-Attendance bunking class. Is the world coming to an end?"

"I'll just tell my dad that I got my period. He won't say a word about it." She laughed. We both laughed.

We sat in that stall for three periods, up until lunch time. I never talked so much in my life to one of my peers. I talked about my mental problems and how I got it from my mother. She spoke about how her mom died when she was seven and how her father mostly dictated her life ever since. It felt strange being so open with someone and not caring about what they thought.

"It must be hard to live under the public eye like that." Anne said.

"What do you mean?" I asked her. I was unsure where that came from. I wasn't under the public eye.

"Have you ever googled your family before?" She asked me. "I have." Anne took her phone from her backpack and typed in my family name into the search bar. Less than a second later, results popped up and she clicked on the first link.

"Your family has control over majority of the harbours surrounding the country. Kryger Shipping is a monopoly in European import an export. His family owns more ships than any other company in Europe." She explained it with so much enthusiasm that I found it highly amusing.

"Honestly, I don't know what any of this means." I confessed.

"When your sister married into the Kryger family, it was seen as the most important business mergers in the last decade." She said. "Your family is famous. Everything you do is in the papers."

"Like what exactly?"

"Take the time to research, Nala. I'm sure you'll find something about yourself somewhere. All I'm saying is that people are watching."

"You sound like Big Brother." I laughed it off but our conversation stuck with me, even throughout our lessons.

I survived the day and I was looking forward to binge watching this new series I found a few days ago. I threw my bag by the door and hurried to my room to change out of my hideous uniform.

"Nala!" I heard his loud and demanding voice. At first, I thought it was my imagination but then I heard it again. "Nala, my office!"

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I sighed heavily and marched to his office. It was like the day just went from awful to fucked.

I reluctantly opened the door and found him sitting behind his polished desk. My plans of ignoring him became impossible. Why was it so fucking hard?

"Sit, we need to talk." He said. I remembered the last time we had to 'talk'. It didn't work out so well.

"About what?" I sat down on the uncomfortable leather arm chair.

"Mrs. James called to inform me that you bunked three lessons today." His voice was calm for some reason. "You had a history test with Mr. Holloway today. Is there a particular reason why you felt like this was okay?"

"I didn't feel like going." The moment those words came out my mouth, I regretted them. I shouldn't have said it like that. I spat it out before thinking. I was fucked.

"You didn't feel like going?" His voice deepened but increased in volume. "Is that your excuse?"

"I could lie and tell you some other bullshit about how I wasn't feeling well, but I won't." I said.

"Your teachers have been complaining about your attitude in class. You're snappy and rude. I've ignored it because of your condition but this can no longer continue." I sat there and listened to his banter and waited for my punishment. "I know it must be hard to control yourself, but you have to try."

"You know?" the question came out very harshly, which was unintended. "Do not sit here and pretend like you understand what I'm going through."

"Have you ever opened up to me?" he asked me. He took a long moment to gather his anger. "It is difficult to establish clear boundaries that separate you and I. The things that happened in the past need to remain there and you have to realise that I am your legal guardian. I am not your friend or whatever you think I am."

"What are you trying to say?"

"What happened last night will never happen again." He said firmly without a doubt behind his words. "We are family and it will remain that way. I will not hurt your sister ever again. Our relationship matters too much to me."

I felt relieved, like he lifted a huge burden off my shoulders. Whatever was between us weighed me down and complicated my life. Life was not meant to be this difficult. Yurik was one less problem in my world but I had many more to face.

"What now?" I asked him.

"I cannot let you leave." Yurik said. "You misbehaved and I told your principal that I would handle it. Choose your punishment."

"If I choose my own punishment, will it still be a punishment?" I asked him. He seemed just as confused in the situation as I was, but obviously more irritated.

"I'm not experienced in punishing kids."

"I'm not a kid."

"My patience is wearing thin."

I thought about it for a few seconds. The need to feel his touch never left me. Although he continuously spoke about how we should keep our distance, I couldn't stop what I felt. "Spankings normally work."

"Your father spanked you whenever you misbehaved?" Yurik smirked just a little.

"No, never." I said honestly.

"How many?"

"Dealer's choice."

A long awkward silence passed before he said anything. Contemplating his next move seemed like the obvious thing to do. "Stand up." I did as I was told. "Now lean over the desk and place your elbows on it. Good."

He paused for a minute and just stared at me, then he stood and walked over. My eyes remained forward. I couldn't see him but I felt his strong presence. I felt the cold air conditioned breeze caress my thighs as he pulled my skirt up. I wore my usual black tights underneath my skirt. I wish I hadn't.

In the few seconds that I stood there, my senses became very alert. I tried to hear everything between the silence. I couldn't hear his breathing. My skin became sensitive due to anticipation. Each hair stood on end, waiting to be stimulated by the slightest of touch.

Praying for his touch fell on deaf ears. I heard his belt buckle being undone and panic took over. Fight or flight? I wanted to run as I heard him pull his leather belt from each loop of his pants. Then, as if to taunt me, he dragged the leather against my thighs and over my ass.

I heard the cracking of the belt against my skin more than I felt it. Only seconds later I felt the sting. I peaked behind me and saw Yurik with the belt in his right hand. Intimidating, was one word to describe him. Sexy, was one of them too. The second hit came down harder than the first. I felt it and everything became real. The third, fourth and fifth came so fast and hard that my elbows buckled and I fell onto the desk.

Not only my ass felt like it was on fire but my whole body too. In an effort to remain quiet, I bit into my arm. Just letting myself feel the pain centred all my wild emotions. My anger and anxiety faded into the back of my mind while I listened to my body sing.

After each blow his grunts became stronger and angered, I became wetter by the second. With all I had in me, I wished he would just rip my clothes from my body and fuck me like he had a few weeks ago. His rage fuelled my lust and desire. This felt nothing like punishment, it felt like a reward. I deserved to feel his wrath after seeing nothing behind his eyes.

As I blinked away the tears that clouded my vision, I saw that same fire in him as that night in the church house. He looked at me for a quick second and stopped. Yurik slumped down in the chair behind me, panting. I had lost count. I didn't move until I was told.

In one pull, my tights were around my ankles. I felt his green eyes assess the damage. His fingertips brushed over what I assumed were welts or bruises. I could only feel him pour gasoline on my already burning skin with his hard fingertips. Shivering like a wet dog wasn't the sexiest of reactions but I couldn't control my legs. I didn't feel like I had to.

"Shhhh..." he whispered. I calmed down immediately and my body settled. "Alfons?"

"He's ... in... he is in.. security room."

"Good." Yurik said in his deep hypnotic tone. "Spread your legs for me, Nala."

It was like my heart beat accelerated. "You just said that..."

"I know what I said. Do as I say. NOW!" I knew his bite was far worse than his bark, but he really scared me when he spoke like that. I wondered if he ever spoke to his wife like that? No. It was not the time for guilt. I wanted it. "See that, you can be obedient when you want to."

"Want?"

"It's just that smart mouth of yours that gets you into trouble." He almost sounded like a man possessed or under a trance.

Fingertips brushed against my lips and I almost leapt over the table. "You're wet. I'm not surprised, my little pain slut." Yurik said with a slight lightness in his voice. "Do you become wet whenever I'm around you?"

I peaked over my shoulder but I only saw his blond locks behind me. "All the time."

"And how does it make you feel?" He asked. I didn't try to understand where he was going with this. His touch was all that mattered. God, I missed it.

"It's frustrating because I can't concentrate when I'm around you." I answered quite honestly, but I wanted to drag this out for as long as possible.

"How many times have you fucked yourself while thinking of me?" Yurik asked while playing and caressing my pussy. "I need numbers. Count them for me."

"Every night since I have been here and in the shower, every morning." I confessed. "Three weeks."

"How badly do you want this?"

"More than anything." Desperation fit me well. "Please, please, please." Begging always came easily.

With that, he pushed two fingers deep inside me. My eyes rolled into the back of my head from how good it felt. Weeks of begging and craving his touch made just the slightest caress electrifying. I finally got my hit of the most addictive drug; Yurik.

He didn't rush, I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. I didn't know what would happen after this. All I knew, was that we had now. Honestly, I didn't care what happened after I decided to leave his office. I really didn't.

My legs kept shaking and my orgasm approached faster than I wanted it to. A finger grazed over my swollen clit and I let my body settle onto the desk. My nails dug into the desk and I dragged them against the wood. Yurik whispered something under his breath. Then he curled his digits inside me but kept up the slow and torturous pace.

"Mmmmmh..." I groaned into my arm, that muffled most of the noise that escaped my throat. Grinding against his hand didn't encourage him to speed up, but it didn't matter because I stood on the edge of pleasure. My stomach tightened and my thighs clamped shut.

Then, he stopped.

"No,no,no, please." I begged without any shame.

That laugh was something I never heard before. It was evil in some way. "I think this is a more effective punishment, don't you?"

In anger, I stood and faced him. My hand dropped to my pussy and I rubbed my clit vigorously. I regretted it immediately. Yurik lost all sense of control and grabbed me by the hair. With one push, I hit the window behind his desk. His hands were in my hair again, but this time he forced me down to my knees. Yurik opened his zipper and his dick sprang free and hit my cheek. Strong fingers forced my mouth open and in one thrust, he forced himself down my throat.

I gagged around his girth but it didn't stop him. Fingers remained in my hair to keep me steady. Trying to push him away only seemed to fuel his desire. Looking up, I stared straight into his emerald green eyes. Lust. I saw it as clear as day.

Minutes past and my jaw began to ache. He allowed me to breathe once in a while but I focused on not puking on him. Finally he sped up and I felt him swell in my throat. His grip tightened in my hair, he rammed his entire length inside my mouth and stiffened. The groans, moans and growls that came from this man's mouth was better than my favourite music.

I swallowed all that I could and when he finished, he pulled out. He wrapped his hand around my throat and dragged my limp body to a stance. I shook like a leaf but received no sympathy. It was almost if if Yurik found it amusing.

Green eyes assessed my condition and then something unexpected happened. Yurik licked the tears that streamed freely off my cheek. "If you fuck yourself without my permission, it will be one orgasm you'll regret." He whispered while looking me in the eyes. I knew it was a promise but the way he said it made my stomach turn. "Understood?"