My Initiation into Gay Sex

This is a memoir of the first time I had sex with a man. The names and situation have been slightly altered to avoid identifying details.

I was in my late 40's, but I'd had glimmers of my bisexuality since puberty when I saw other boys naked in the junior high locker room before and after PE class. One guy was really well hung--even flaccid his cock went halfway down his thigh--which was certainly noticeable but didn't turn me on. There was another boy though, a redhead with pale white skin and I remember the first time I saw his pale white cock tipped with a bright red glans and the tuft of orange pubic hair above his package. I had to force myself to look away but man, was I fixated on it. For the rest of the day I couldn't stop thinking about it. I wondered what it would be like to hold his penis, stroke it and suck it til he shot in my mouth. I think I even had to rub one out in the bathroom at school I got so turned on.

Later on in high school, I remember reading Penthouse Forum letters and came across one in which the writer described his first homosexual experience. This had a powerful effect on me and I masturbated many times to the description of the moment when he took the purplish head of his first cock into his mouth and the feeling of having another man ejaculate in his mouth. As soon as I read the letter, I knew I wanted to suck cock. It sounded great to and got me the most turned on I've ever been. That being said, I still got aroused from the women in the mags and I've never questioned my sexual attraction to both women and men.

Those experiences aside, I didn't do anything about the gay aspect of my bisexuality until my marriage started going sideways after about 20 years. It's the familiar story of dying intimacy and sleeping in separate bedrooms. After about a year of sleeping separately, I'd started an affair with a woman. It was thrilling and satisfying in many ways but after a few years, she broke it off. I didn't have the energy to try and get another affair going and, this being the dawn of the internet age, ended up viewing a lot of porn. Eventually I started watching gay porn and the videos of gay blowjobs really turned my crank. I really enjoy the videos of Rob Brown (search "rob brown gay blowjob") and one titled "Morning and a good day" (search "morning and a good day gay blowjob"). I'd fantasized and read about homosexual fellatio but never actually seen it. Watching another man willingly service another man orally was arousing and seemed completely natural to me. I fantasized about sucking another man's cock and what it would feel like to taste and feel his semen slide down my throat. The more I watched, the more I knew I wanted to experience gay sex.

Back then, Craigslist still had a personals section so I started cruising that and eventually connected with a man named Frank. He was a few years older than me, in his mid-50's, married with no sex since his wife's ordeal with breast cancer and had been having regular gay sex for about the past 10 years or so, though his experiences started as a teenager. We met up over coffee and he was pleasant, affable, and we could share out stories with ease. We were both eager to take the next step and set up a time for him to come to my place in a few days.

On the morning we'd agreed to meet, I watched the street in front of the house and waited with nervous anticipation. He was right on time and when I saw him get out of his car and come up the walk to the house, my heart started racing. When the doorbell rang, a tingle ran down my legs. I opened the door and welcomed Frank into my home. As soon as the door closed, we embraced and both laughed a little. I thought to myself how natural this felt. Things were very easy between us so I held his face in my hands and brought my lips to his, exchanging my first kiss with a man. He had a moustache and goatee which was a strange, new sensation for me as we kissed. Our tongues explored and I found his forceful and rough, not at all like a woman's, but I liked it. We both got very aroused as we stood there making out. I could feel my cock straining in my pants and as I reached down to stroke his erection through his pants I could tell the same thing was happening to him. After a bit, we took a break and hand in hand, I led him to my bedroom.

As we entered my bedroom it struck me that I was finally about to have sex with another man as I felt a tingle through my entire body and my heart beat faster. We started kissing and began helping each other disrobe. When I got his shirt off, I rubbed his chest and remember enjoying the sensation of running my hands over his chest, feeling the hair and loving how he quivered when I lightly brushed his nipples. My own nipples are too sensitive for me to enjoy having them played with so I asked him if it was OK and he nodded. It was nice kissing each other and hearing him moan as a gently stroked his nipples. Soon we were both completely naked standing there, both of us with raging hard ons and making out like a couple of teenagers.

Almost at the same time, we reached down and held each others cock, which was both the first time I held another man's cock and had my own touched by another man. I couldn't remember ever feeling so aroused as we kissed and I caressed his penis. He was a little smaller than me and it felt so easy and pleasant to stroke him. He was very hard and had a heft to it. I remember thinking how much I liked the feel of it and how turned on I was. The skin on his cock moved a bit as I tugged on it (soon I'd realize he was uncircumcised). I remember being fascinated by the glans--soft and smooth but with a hardness just underneath. As he stroked me, I started leaking precum which he smoothed out with his thumb and worked it around the head of my cock. My knees buckled slightly as he did this and we both laughed. He suggested we lay down before I collapsed and so we moved to the bed.

We arranged ourselves lying on our sides facing each other, kissing and caressing each other. It was a lovely spring day with the window slightly open and sunlight filtered by the trees shining into the room that made it feel natural to be sharing my bed with my gay lover. The feeling of kissing his lips and touching his cheek while my other hand gently stroked his cock was incredibly erotic. We'd kiss for a while, then stop and make small talk. He told me he really liked that my cock was bigger than his and was looking forward to having it in his mouth. As he told me this, I could feel the flow of precum increase from my cock, which became very slick as he stroked it. He could feel it also and chuckled

"You like the sound of that, don't you?" Frank asked.

I laughed also and gave his penis a playful squeeze as we resumed kissing. It was a new experience for me being in a sexual situation with a man, feeling and experiencing his masculine desire for me. I'd had plenty of experiences with women that were passionate and lustful but this was different. I became very relaxed as I enjoyed being the object of his desire.

After a while, Frank put his hand on my shoulder, pushing me onto my back as he moved on top of me. Our bodies mashed against each other and he began aggressively kissing me, deeply exploring my mouth with his tongue. I whimpered with lustful delight as I stroked his back and returned his kisses. He began grinding his pelvis against me so I grabbed his ass then gave it gentle taps to encourage him. This continued for a while, then he stopped and lifted himself off of me.

"You are such a sexy man." he told me.

I lay underneath him, running my hand over his chest and feeling our cocks against each other, savoring the newfound delight of gay sex. He came back down to me and we resumed kissing for a bit, then he rolled off and we lay side by side again, relaxing as we touched each other. I took both our cocks in my hand and held them together as we slowly moved and enjoyed the feeling of them rubbing against one another.

Then it was my turn to show him my desire. I got up on one elbow and guided him onto his back. I looked down at him and let my hand wander all over his body; caressing his face, letting my fingers run through his chest hair, stroking his cock and fondling his balls. We'd alternate passionately kissing, making small talk and laughing as my hand explored his body. I remember commenting many times how natural and good it felt to be there with him. One of my favorite memories of this is how good it felt to kiss him deeply and thrust my tongue into his mouth as I firmly gripped his testicles. I moved down and laid my head on his chest, feeling another new sensation of his chest hair on my face. I liked the feel of it and began kissing, licking and gently sucking his nipples. His erection quivered in my hand as my lips suckled and I liked the feeling of being able to bring him pleasure. Then I moved down his body, kissing, licking and rubbing my face against his chest and belly until my head was lightly resting on his belly and my hand holding his cock inches from my eager mouth.

From this position, I could get a good look at the first penis I would ever suck. It was erotic lying there watching my hand wrapped around another man's cock while I stroked it. He was very hard now and would spasm now and then as I worked him. He wasn't large; maybe six inches or slightly less in length and I could easily encircle his cock with my fingers. The thickest part of his penis was actually about an inch below the glans, where the shaft swelled slightly, different from my own, which has a mushroom head that is the thickest part. At this point I realized he was uncircumcised and that even erect, I could tug on his cock and get the foreskin to roll up over the head. I wondered what this would feel like when I blew him and chuckled as I thought "You'll find out soon enough, cocksucker!"

I laughed at the thought and spontaneously blurted out "Your uncut cock is so fun to play with!"

He laughed too and told me, "Play with it all you want. If feels great!"

He was so aroused that the glans was a reddish-purple and when I stroked him with pressure, I could express precum, which I used to lubricate my hand. Frank gently stroked my head and moaned intermittently as I did this. The next time I stroked him with slight pressure it seemed completely natural to bring my head close to his penis and lick up the drop of precum with the tip of my tongue. He gave a little start and almost yelped as I did this, which made us both laugh. The precum was salty, sweet and not at all bitter; I wondered if his cum would taste like this. I liked the taste and again had the thought "Soon enough, cocksucker!" Tasting his precum brought me to new heights of desire and I knew it was time. And with that, I brought my mouth down to him, opened my lips and guided his penis into my willing mouth, becoming the cocksucker I'd fantasized about for years.

So many sensations and thoughts swirled through my mind as I felt his glans on my lips and tongue that it seemed like I was floating. It felt so natural and peaceful to be sucking him; as if I'd been born to do this. The sensation was of realizing fully something about myself that I'd always known but that had been hidden or at least obscured my entire life. There was nowhere else I'd have chosen to be than with my lover's penis in my mouth, making love to him on a beautiful spring day. It was good that I'd kept my hand around him because as I began sucking him, he thrust his pelvis. My hand kept him from impaling me on his cock. We laughed again, me with his cock in my mouth, and he stroked my head. I kept just the tip in my mouth as I grew accustomed to these new, wonderful sensations, my lips just beyond the corona of the glans. The head of his penis was smooth, slightly spongy and with a firmness underneath. The taste was more of the salty-sweetness of his precum but also with some muskiness. My lips kept some nice suction on him as my tongue explored. He particularly seemed to like it when I ran the tip of my tongue in the frenulum on the underside of his cock where the glans swept around to form an inverted "V." I kept probing and gently tried to insert the tip of my tongue into the meatus and caused his hips to spasm again.

"Wow!" he said, "Nobody's ever tried *that* before."

Something unexpected for me was how much his positive reaction turned me on. I wanted to suck him well and bring him pleasure enjoying the sensation of being submissive and of service to him.

Feeling confident and aroused, I got up on my elbow and held his cock more upright. I started sucking him properly, taking the first third of him into my mouth then withdrawing to the tip, my head bobbing up and down in a nice rhythm. With my hand around his cock, I started stroking him in coordination with my sucking. I could feel the skin bunch up and slip over the corona of his glans and liked the sensation of all that skin on my tongue and lips. Frank became very aroused as I did this and, even though this was my first time with a man, I knew he was getting close to orgasm. I didn't want him to cum too quickly so I let up pressure with my hand and mouth. I withdrew him from my mouth, loving the feel of the ridge of the glans passing over my lips and held his cock inches from my face. It was beautiful to look at with my saliva mixing with the precum to make it shiny and slick. My hand easily slipped up and down the shaft. The head beckoned and I lightly licked and kissed it, then told him I liked sucking his cock.

"You're a natural!" he said as he playfully rubbed my head, "Please don't stop!"

I turned and looked at him, feeling confident and aroused. I continued to hold his cock as I repositioned myself, turning to kiss him, then moving between his legs. I lay prone and licked him from the balls to the tip of his dick, dancing the tip of my tongue along the shaft. I paid particular attention to the head, kissing it, suckling it with light pressure and tracing the corona with my tongue. He was very sensitive on the underside where the glans wraps around to form an inverted "V" and quivered as I massaged that area with my tongue. He also started leaking a lot of precum, which flowed naturally onto my tongue and lips. I loved thinking about him being a dominant animal marking me as his cocksucker as I lapped it up. Frank was very encouraging as he stroked my cheek with his hand.

"That's it. Good boy." he said.

I used his cock like a brush as I rubbed the head around my lips and onto my face, smearing it with his precum. I looked up at my lover as I ran my tongue over his glans, smiled with my tongue on him, then brought the head of his cock into my mouth again. Our eyes stayed locked as I slid my mouth down the shaft with no pressure from my lips. When I had about two thirds of him in my mouth, I felt the head at the back of my throat and paused. I took a breath through my nose and tried to go further. I was pleasantly surprised that I didn't gag and was able to go all the way down on him enjoying the sensation of fullness as the head entered my throat. I closed my lips around the base and applied gentle suction. As my nose nuzzled his pubic hair and my lower lip touched his scrotum.

Frank moaned then said "Oh my God! That feels so good!"

I felt very submissive with his penis lodged in my throat and thought to myself "I love sucking cock." My hands roamed over his belly and chest and I felt like I was floating. I needed to come up for air and as I withdrew, my throat spasmed and I gagged a little. I coughed as his cock came out of my mouth and we both laughed.

We looked into each others eyes and he told me "Hard to believe it's your first time. I've never had a blowjob like this before!"

I laughed and said "I'll bet you say that to all the guys."

As he laughed, I took him back into my mouth and got into a nice rhythm of sucking him down to about two thirds of the way with light suction. I moved my hand away and bobbed up and down on his shaft. I'd rotate my head slightly on some of the strokes, enjoying the different sensation of his cock in my mouth each time. I remember going into an almost trance-like state where it seemed like the only thing in the universe was his cock moving in and out of my mouth. It was a lovely scene with Frank moaning, me whimpering occasionally, and the sun shining on us. After a while, I felt comfortable enough to deep throat him again and went all the way down. Again, I didn't gag and was pleasantly surprised to find that I'd grown acclimated enough that I didn't gag on the way up. I raised myself up slightly to get a better position, then began sucking him all the way up and down his shaft. It felt so good to feel him lodged in my throat, then withdraw until my lips were just kissing the tip of his cock, then repeating the motion. I gradually increased the pressure of my lips and increased suction, being careful to avoid any contact of my teeth on his cock.

I became so engrossed in this that I hadn't really been paying much attention to Frank and the increasingly urgent moans coming from him. Lost in the ecstasy of his phallus moving in and out of his mouth, I was surprised when suddenly his entire body stiffened, he let out a load moan--almost a scream--and I felt his cock spasm. I distinctly remember feeling the urethra on the underside of his cock start pulsating and almost immediately after, my mouth became flooded with his semen. It took me a second to realize what was happening and when I did, I became extremely turned on thinking about how I had brought a man to orgasm and was receiving the gift of his sperm. The taste was different than the precum--less sweet, about as salty, and with an added tanginess. Lovely. I slowed down my sucking but kept up light pressure on the shaft, moving roughly between the first and second thirds of his cock as his orgasm took him.

The first shot was the most forceful and I eagerly swallowed, enjoying the sensation of it sliding down my throat. Subsequently, his ejaculation became a pulsating flow as he moaned and writhed about the bed. I slowed down the rhythm of my sucking, let up on suction and was just barely contacting the shaft with my lips as his orgasm subsided. When the flow ceased, I withdrew him from my mouth and savored his semen coating my tongue, mouth and lips. His cock was covered with my saliva and his semen. There were some clumps which I gently lapped up, cleaning his penis. As I held it, a drop of semen appeared at the meatus and I used the tip of my tongue to lick it off. I lightly stroked him a few more times, milking the last of the ejaculate from his cock, licking it off the tip, and cleaning up anything left on the shaft.

"How was that, lover?" I asked Frank as he lay in a state of post-orgasmic bliss.

He wasn't yet verbal but smiled at me, laughed, and rubbed my head. He then put his hands on my shoulders and beckoned me to come up and lay next to him. I moved up to him, we embraced, then passionately kissed. He became excited as he tasted his seed on my lips and in my mouth, his tongue eagerly thrust into me. We lay there together for quite and while and he told me how nice the blowjob was, again commenting that it was hard to believe I'd never done it before.

After a while, Frank regained his composure and rolled onto his side as I lay on my back next to him. He stroked my face and began kissing me tenderly as his hand roamed over my chest, belly and stroked my thighs. When his fingertips brushed my still raging erection, I whimpered and he thrust his tongue into my mouth. I held his head and forcefully returned his kiss while he wrapped his hand around my cock and gave it a hard squeeze. Abruptly he lifted up and moved his head down to my crotch, and took my cock into his mouth in one motion. He got almost all the way down, gagged slightly, then forced his head down until I was all the way in. He spasmed and gagged some more but held it in for a few seconds, then withdrew completely.