My Late Wife

Dear Diary - September 15, 1994

I graduated from the Steno program last Sunday and I already have a job offer with the agency I interned with over the summer. I'm glad I took the two year associate program because now I have a junior college degree as well as a well paying job. I am going to keep this diary on my steno machine for two reasons. The first is that it will keep up my skills and the other is that it will keep my sibs and parental units from reading my most secret thoughts.

Dear Diary - September 17, 1994

I don't know how much longer I'm going to be able to hold off Jim. God that boy has hands that are constantly trying to cop a feel. I don't mind it when he plays with my titties but he is constantly trying to get at my pussy. He's been really persistent. I think maybe Greg told him about '"doing" me last summer. I wish those SOB's would just keep their traps shut. My reputation isn't the best the way it is. Luckily no one at my intern job knew me in school.

Dear Diary - October 3, 1994

Well Jim did me. That punch had a lot more booze in it than they said. I was sober enough to make sure he wore a rubber but holy fuck I was wild. The first time he fucked me was on an old couch in the basement. Most of the lights were out but there were half a dozen couples there so I know some of them had to have seen us doing it. I made Jim take me home right after but he made a little detour and nailed me again in the park and then again in our driveway at home. I don't think he had a rubber on the last time so I hope he didn't have many swimmers in the third shot. I asked Jim to not blab around that we had had sex and he promised but implied that there would be a price.

Forty three similar entries followed until the Fall of 1999. During this period Janet had six additional lovers. One for as long as a year but the others had relationships lasting four to six months each. Reasons for ending were hinted at but not detailed. 1999 was when Janet began her contract assignment at my Law Firm. It was weird spying on my wife's private life and I was tempted to just destroy all the storage devices. However, my prurient sexual interests won out and I read on.

Dear Diary - October 19, 1999

My steno company sent me out for what could be a long term staffing assignment. It looks like a decent deal because I keep my current rate and benefits but get a guaranteed 40 hours per week. I don't have to drive all over town and from what I have seen, there are some real hunk lawyers on the staff.

Dear Diary - October 21, 1999

I got assigned to a work group managed by a sharp looking attorney by the name of William Carstens. Something really grabbed me about him and I started dressing a little sharper and perhaps bent over a bit more than necessary when setting up my steno station for depositions. Every so often I caught his eye and gave him a big smile. I also went out of my way to greet him in the morning or to walk by his office and offer him coffee if he was working late.

Dear Diary _ November 5, 1999

First three kisses on the cab ride to the symphony and I have to note that my panties actually got so moist that when we got to the performance and before we sat down I asked to go to the ladies room. I put in a couple sheets of kleenex to stop the flow. Wow! This guy can kiss. Even holding his hand during the performance gave me a tingle.

Dear Diary - November 15, 1999

It was really great last night because I got us down in my parents basement rec room to "watch" Jonny Carson. Up to this point we hadn't had a lot of opportunities to get physical. I was torn because I really liked Bill but I didn't want to seem too slutty. Caution did however get thrown to the wind when 'unexpectedly' my bra got opened and my honey got his hands of the Girls for the first time. His lips on the nips were gentle but skillful It was obvious to me that Bill was no stranger to a woman's body and at that moment I resolved to move us along to the next stage as quickly as decorum dictated. Regardless, nothing more serious than titty play and some serious humping with clothes on could take place in the folks basement.

Dear Diary - November 21, 1999

Bill had a business trip all this week and so when he asked me to come to his apartment for Friday night dinner I eagerly agreed. At last, privacy and a bed.

Dear Diary -!!! November 22, 1999

I don't remember dinner but I think wine was served. While sipping on a desert wine I casually asked Bill how the Murphy bed worked. With a cute smile he showed me and I noted that it looked like the sheets were fresh. What can I say about our first time? Bill was my ninth man and the best so far. Four of them were duds or assholes. Three quite frankly couldn't keep up with my needs and only one had had what I thought might me long range potential. He turned out to be a cheating bastard hence the appeal of Bill. A good man with a stellar reputation and if my estimating skills are worth a shit, a seven plus inch dick that I really hoped he knew how to use.

Thank God he did. Did he ever. Up to this point in my life I had been fucked 39 times. Last night a wonderful man made love to me with a few rest breaks for twelve hours. I think I came more last night than I thought a human could. Bill played me like a musical instrument and I loved it, I adored him and decided right then that somehow, this was the man I was going to marry.

Early the next morning we had the following conversation. To set the scene we were naked on the Murphy bed and cuddling in each others arms. His hands were slowly caressing all the planes of my arms, legs and torso that he could reach from his seated position.

"Are you crying?"
"Yes"

"Did I hurt you?"

"No of course not, I'm just so frigging happy I can't stop my tears of joy but I'm also a little sad."

"Why would you be sad?"

"Because I wasn't a virgin for you."

"And I wasn't for you. Look wonderful girl,

Everything that either of us has done prior to this point in time contributes to our life experience. However, it has no bearing on the Bill and Janet today relationship. I don't want to know anything about your prior history and unless you ask me specific questions I won't discuss mine. Deal?"

"Deal"

I was obvious to me that Bill had had prior romantic experience. His whole approach to lovemaking was deliberate and patient. Nothing was hurried or rushed. Everything was slow, deliberate and powerfully loving. We had spent the entire evening making love not fucking. My whole sex life up to this point had been short, intense fucks as different from last night as full sunlight is to utter darkness. This is what I wanted for now and forever and I told Bill exactly that.

Every date of our entire courtship leading right up to the altar was chronicled. It was weird reading her version of our early intimate conversations. It was really weird reading about the progression of our sex life. Every step from the first hand to breast contact to the first time she brushed against my hard on. That led to speculation if I were bigger than Greg or Steve which I assumed where prior lovers. Since she gave estimated sizes for all of her lovers I knew that one of them was 7 and the other was an uncomfortable 9. The fact that I'm a tad over 7 gave me a strange retroactive sigh of relief. Some of our sessions must have made a lasting impression because they were recounted in exhaustive detail. Others were just handled in abbreviations but enough detail so that if I was interested, I could go back and count how many or what kind of kisses were exchanged and how often the bra came off. Also noted were all acts of intercourse, oral/genital sex and the number of orgasms by each of us. I knew that we had led an active premarital sex life but to see it enumerated in detail was mind boggling and I don't mind saying a little arousing.

The data on memory stick one ended just before our wedding. Jan and I had had an active sexlife right from the beginning but her number of lovers before me was eye opening and her attention to the minutia of our sex life was puzzling. The even bigger mystery was what the fuck was on the other five sticks? Who was this woman that I had lived intimately with for over thirty years?

My life got a little complicated when dealing with work and estate issues and so I didn't plug into stick 2 till the next weekend when I had a block of open time. When I did get to it, it the initial material was about the wedding just as I expected.

Over the years I had heard stories of how wild the bridal party had gotten at the bachelorette party. I had always had the impression that the wildness was mostly drinking and watching some male dancers. Jan's diary entry was a little more specific.

Dear Diary - May 1, 2020

The party last night and this morning was over the top wild. Of course what was I expecting when all but one of my brides maids were my partners in crime party buddies to begin with. The only real surprise was Bill's sister in law. I had only met her a couple of times at family events and thought that she was sort of a shy reserved girl that would be a drag on the party. Instead she was the first to pull off a dancer's g string to check out what he was packing.

I was a good girl when it came to drinking because I didn't want to have a giant hangover for the wedding. Also, I didn't fuck any of the dancers but I did fondle all of their cocks. I was happy to note that Bill's dick was not only bigger but prettier than all of the dancer's equipment. Can't wait for the wedding night. I haven't had sex with Bill for five days and I plan on blowing his sox off.

Dear Diary - May 10, 2000

Just got back from the honeymoon trip. We flew to the Caribbean and I couldn't take my machine with me. Had to make notes at night in the bathroom on my steno pad. I entered them on the machine when we got home yesterday.

Dear Diary - May 2, 2000

My mom had things organized excellently and with my aunt Judy as the coordinator, everything came off beautifully. They all said I was a gorgeous bride and I know I certainly felt like one. Bill as handsome as always and my knees almost turned to mush as my Father handed me off to my husband to be at the altar. It's a good thing that we had a couple of people video taping all the major events because I was in a fog until we were getting into the back seat of a limo for the ride to the airport. As we pulled away from the reception hotel Bill pulled the shade blocking the driver's view and proceeded with the first intercourse of our marriage. My beautifully pressed going away suit was a mess by the time we got to the departure gate of O'hare but I was relaxed and basking in the afterglow of the first four orgasms of my married life. Bill had cleverly planned for a small suitcase of clothes in the limo with us so we changed out of our fancy clothes and got into casual resort clothes while in the car. The driver was then to return the going away clothes when he got back to the venue.

One of our wedding presents was airline tickets and hotel reservations in Jamaica. We made the night flight with ample time to get really loaded in the Departures bar first. The flight must have been OK but I don't remember anything because I slept until the landing in Kingston.

My notes for the first twenty four hours at the resort were sketchy at best but from what I could make of them Bill and I spent the whole time doing three things. Getting ready to fuck, fucking and resting up after fucking.

On day two we got out for meals and I not only got to show off my new bikini but we got to visit the clothing optional beach. My first impression there was that I wished most of the people there would just cover up. There were just too many overweight men with little cocks and fat wives with cowlike udders and hairy pussies. Luckily we found a small section off to the side where some of the younger and better preserved folks were congregated.

I was a little self conscious at first but another young couple shared their ganja with us and soon we were comfortable lounging in the sun with everything hanging out. No clothes and a party atmosphere led to open sex and apparently an amount of swinging. Several guys invited me to share their blanket and I just pointed to my new shining wedding rings. They basically took no for an answer but several of them handled their semi hard cocks and indicated that they were really missing out on a treat. Sorry guys but my Bill's was as big as the biggest I saw on the beach and I had him all broken in.

We didn't have sex on the beach the first day but held off until we got back to the room. However the next day we were napping on the nude beach and just rolled together and fucked as we woke up. God, there is nothing like the sun, ganja and a hard dick to show a girl a good time.

Besides fucking a whole lot we did a little sight seeing and partying with two other young couples that we met. One of the gals got a little handsy with Bill and asked me if she could fuck him because he had such a nice cock. I said no because in the first place we were on our honeymoon and second because her husband only had about five inches.

All in all our honeymoon was the high point of my life up to that point. I really really loved Bill and the sex with him was just over the top great. Not just the fucking even though that was terrific. It was the intimacy that we shared. The subtle and gentle touches and the warmth of his personality. I guess that's what love is all about.

The number two stick concluded with a collection of.jpgs of honeymoon candid shots. These were all the prints of Jan sunbathing topless and of us partying with our friends on the beach. Also included were all of the candid out takes that did not make the principal wedding album.

I finished this stick with a big hard on and an absolute appreciation for just how lucky I had been to hook up with Janet. I transferred a few of the more sexual shots of my bride naked on the beach to my iPad and when I went to bed that Saturday night I masturbated to the images of her posing nude in the surf of Jamaica.

On Sunday I did a quick review of the last four sticks. Numbers three, four and five were not password protected and were basically a cross section of the time from our return from the honeymoon, through the birth of our three kids and right up to the last months before her death. I took my time with each of these storage devices because it was a recap of all the important points in our marriage and the growth and development of our children, Jan didn't go into detail about our love life but she did have a code for various kinds of sexual contact. The detail in these sticks were mainly about the kids but occasionally she would go into detail about a get away weekend sex trip that she and I would take. We tried to plan a three day trip without the kids three or four times a year. Under the guise of sightseeing we would get out about a hundred miles from home, check into a spa like hotel and spend two to three days in bed exploring each others bodies. It was truly amazing just how many orgasms could be wrung out of older bodies when the spirit willed it. One such trip stood out in my mind and in her diary and I'm including it here.

My Diary - July 11, 2010

Bill had planned one of our excursions and we left early on a Thursday morning and returned on Sunday the 11th. I always looked forward to these trips because it brought Bill and I closer together as a couple. Of course we had frequent intercourse between trips but when we backed out of the drive at home and hit the road we entered a sensual world in which our prime objective became the saturation of each other's senses with with pleasure. This was done through tactile, audio and visual means. For instance on this trip as soon as we hit the first wayside on the freeway I changed out of my Mom shirt, sturdy bra and jeans. I came down the walk from the restroom in a braless wife beater, torn daisy dukes and flip flops. I drew quite an appreciative audience as my boobs bounced nicely and my hair blew in the wind free now of its usual bun or ponytail.

I posed for Bill and made sure to give him a boob shot as I got in the car, tossed my jeans and shirt into the back seat and handed him my bra and panties. As he pulled onto the on ramp I pulled my shorts off and showed my husband how I had removed all the shaggy hair from my pussy. I pointedly explained to him how I would be expecting a thorough oral inspection as soon as we got to our destination.

We were checked in by 11 and Bill went to pee in the bathroom. Two minutes later he walked back into the bedroom holding his cock in his hand and asking if he should put it away. Since I was already naked and masturbating on the bedspread he announced to the room "I guess not." and proceeded to strip off his shirt and pants. God can that man eat pussy. If there would be a national championship he would win it without question. Bill has a method of capturing my clit in his lips and sucking while three fingers find my g spot and rub it until I'm cuming like a chain of firecrackers. He has perfected this technique to the point that he can literally make me pass out from orgasmic bliss. Today however he stopped at ten and sat up on his haunches grinning with my juices dripping from his face with a silly grin on his face and precum shining on the head of his angry cock.

Down I went on him sliding his cock down my throat. I had long ago perfected the suppression of my gag reflex and could take him all the way down to his freshly shaved balls. After three of four in and outs I pulled off trailing a long line of precum and saliva. I scrambled to settle my vagina on his wet cock and was in heaven. Down I went swallowing his cock all the way to the bottom of my hungry pussy. Up and down I posted until with a gasp he seized my butt and clenched it fiercely as he spouted a flood of semen into my vagina.

This was one of the better fucks of the trip but what really stands out in my mind were the long sensual bouts of pure lovemaking. Sometimes we had hour after hour of foreplay and actual acts of intercourse that only culminated in orgasm after a whole evening of in and out play. One memorable encounter began with a soaking bath in the afternoon and continued with foreplay through cocktails, dinner, desert and after dinner cordials. My lover kept me on the edge for the whole time and when he finally finished me off after my last sip of a Rusty Nail our mutual orgasms were so intense that we fell asleep almost immediately. Much much later I awoke in Bill's arms, told him I loved him and fell back to sleep.

By Sunday afternoon I was limp as a noodle, totally relaxed and ready to take on my active family and the rest of the world.

There were several other dissertations like this on on the three sticks but as I said earlier, most of the references to sex were not expanded upon but were only noted with abbreviations.

The sixth stick was an anomaly. It was protected and not by any of Jan's or my family of passwords. Having exhausted all of those I tried other tried and true types and hit pay dirt when I used the date that we first made love.

All that showed up on the screen was a single file. I double clicked the icon and it opened to reveal three unprotected text files and hundreds of unprotected folders. I double clicked the first and the following opened.

My Dearest Love

Yes of course I mean you Bill. You are the only living person who knows the date we made love for the first time in that awful Murphy bed of yours. That's the day you took a promiscuous slut, treated her like a goddess and created a being that has loved you without reservation every second of her life. I am so sorry that I had to leave you so early. I was hoping that we would have at least another thirty years of love making but it was just not meant to be.