My Little Ventrue Pt. 09 Ch. 10

"Stupid child! Stupid, worthless child! You stole everything from me!"

"Lucas wasn't everything! He was scum, Maria, and you know it! And now he's gone, and I'm sorry it hurt you. I'm sorry I hurt you! But that doesn't need to be who you are, a wounded animal who snaps and bites at everyone who sticks out a helping hand! Christ, I'm not your enemy!"

"You are my only enemy!"

She came at him again, faster, her Nos strength pumping through her. If she'd been calmer, maybe she'd have come at him smarter, or maybe back off, use Obfuscate, and trick his eyes. If she approached him cold and tactically, he knew he'd struggle to win this fight without Ripper's help. But she shrieked as she came at him, a howling animal, fully intent on running him down and tearing into him.

He stood his ground, and as she swung her right hand at him, he caught it. The impact was massive, and his body shook down to his heels as her punch threatened to shatter his bones. But the vitae coursing through him managed the impact, and the two of them slid along the floor of the cathedral. She tried to pull her hand back, but he held on. Screaming like she'd gotten stuck in a bear trap, she swung at him with her other fist, and he caught that one was well, getting his fingers around her wrist. Strong as she was, she was still smaller and lighter than him, and now with both her hands trapped, every motion she made to get away took him with her.

"Maria!"

"Die! Die you stupid boy!"

"Maria! You made a mistake!"

"I have never--"

"You made a mistake! You trusted a man, and it turned out he was a villain! And you know it! You know it, and you need to accept it. You need to forgive yourself, and accept that other people are willing to forgive you for it! Natasha, Damien, and me. I nearly fucking died because of you, and so did the love of my life, but good fucking god, we're willing to forgive you!"

"How dare you presume I desire your forgiveness!"

He yanked on her arms, causing them both to spin and stumble, nearly falling. "I'm here trying to get through to you, you stupid fossil, because I'm saying it's ok! It's ok that you made a mistake. We all fucking make them! You don't have to be an angry, closed off, hateful bitch! Natasha cares about you. Damien definitely cares about you. And hell, I care about you. You never did me wrong till that night you helped Lucas."

"Liar!"

Well, her icy walls were definitely down, but now he held a raging hellfire by the horns, and he wasn't making much progress.

So he did the only thing he could think of. Tough love. He yanked her in close, and slammed his head straight down at the bridge of her nose.

Her head snapped back as her nose broke with a satisfying crunch. She brought it up again, glaring at him, rage still burning in her eyes. And before she could do something smart, like use her legs, he yanked her in, and did it again, skull smashing her face in hard enough to make her grunt and collapse back. He let go of her hands, and she fell on her ass with all the grace of a legless dog.

"Listen to me, god damn it! I am not your enemy, and you know it! You're the one that fucked up, trusting a man like Lucas. You betrayed Natasha, and it nearly got a bunch of people killed. But I get it! I fucking get it. If Antoinette turned into some sort of villain, I'm sure I'd be helping her for years before finally breaking free of her. And every night thereafter, I'd be eating myself up, feeling like utter dogshit for the friends I betrayed and the lives I might have ruined. Get what I'm saying? I'd have done the same thing! Made the same mistake!"

He crouched down beside her, ready to jump away if she swung at him, but she'd calmed enough to clutch her face and touch her broken nose as she glared at him. Probably just recovering for round two.

"And you know what I'd do if that happened?" he asked. "I'd apologize to the people I hurt. Because I know they would care about me, even if I fucked up. I don't know if it's because you're a Nosferatu, and got royally screwed in that department, or maybe it's just an elder thing, but it's clear you don't think anyone cares about you. Damien's been chiseling at that wall for over two years now and making progress, but I don't have his patience. People care about you, Maria, you stupid dumbass, but your head is stuck so far up your ass all you can imagine doing is brooding in your den for the rest of your second life, assuming everyone hates you.

"You didn't lose everyone when Lucas died. But you did fuck up, helping him. You made a mistake, and you need to apologize for it. If you swallowed your pride long enough to do that, you'd be surprised how many of us would happily be your friend." He hated playing shrink, but he hated when people didn't have a shred of awareness more. And he hated seeing someone suffer when they didn't need to, even more. "This doesn't need to be some ridiculous cliche of the scary vampire who lives alone, hating everyone and everything for a thousand years because of a tragic incident in her past."

Maria lowered her hand, and stared at him like he'd just ripped out her guts and stepped on them. Agony, and rage. No one had talked to her like this in a long long time, no doubt, and she definitely didn't want to hear it from him, a kid. The kid who killed her lover, at that.

"You insult me in a way no one ever has, and you expect me to believe--"

"Yes! Believe!" He threw up his hands. "Sorry, I'm doing a horrible job explaining this, but you aren't making it any easier, Maria. What I'm trying to get you to understand, is you made a mistake, but instead of just owning up to it, you started alienating everyone. And you already did that before! So you went from closed off, intimidating Invictus, to terrifying hermit church lady. If you'd just apologized to the people you nearly got killed, to the people you betrayed, you'd be damn surprised. Not everyone is the bitter asshole you think they are. Not everyone is a twisted, hateful person who secretly wants everyone to suffer, or is willing to throw others under the bus for their own gain.

"So here's what I want you to do. Look me in the eye and tell me you're sorry about what you did."

"You berate me in my own home and--"

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I said that shit, I really am. Christ knows that was rude, and I hit below the belt. If Angela came up to me and told me... anything, I'd have torn the building down trying to kill her. But Angela was my enemy. I'm not your enemy, ok?" He sat down, one knee up, and gestured to the scary woman sitting two feet from him. "Shit, I suck at this. What I'm asking is... please, stop being an asshole, and let people in. Damien, Natasha, and me. I can be your friend, even if you hate my guts." He leaned toward her and met her surprised eyes. "We're not friends, but I never hated you. First time I met you, you scared the shit out of me, but I never thought badly of you. Hell, I was impressed. A Nos like you had every reason to go full villain mode, with your deformities." No point in dancing around the elephant in the room, and his gut told him she'd appreciate the bluntness right now. "And after Viktor died, you and Michael invited my sire into the council, Viktor's polar opposite. That told me a lot about you."

"Viktor was a menace, and sadism grew deep in him."

"Agreed." He sighed, lowering his head as an idea popped up. If he wanted to get through to this woman, he'd have to show his hand, or at least relevant parts of it. "You know how Viktor and Tony died?"

"They fought over intelligence, and a mill was set on fire, killing them both."

Slowly, Jack held up a hand. "I was there, and I set that fire, on purpose."

Maria stared at him, unbelieving. But as they looked each other in the eyes for a while, the rage and hate slowly draining out of her expression, she eventually returned his sigh, and nodded.

"You killed Viktor and Tony."

"Yeap."

"How? Why?"

"Viktor took Julias and me because he needed back up, but also because he didn't trust anyone else, I guess. If Julias got that intel, Viktor could trust him to give it to him. Tony and Rebecca were there, and Julias took her on while Viktor went after Tony. I went with Viktor. Him and Tony started arguing, and Viktor said something about taking the city from Antoinette -- killing implied -- and I said... don't do that."

Maria winced, sucking in a breath, an almost casual expression that was very much not Maria. Progress.

"He attacked you."

"Yeap, split me down the middle, face to crotch. Not deep enough to kill a fledgling, but damn close. Then Viktor and Tony started fighting for real. So there's me, bleeding to death, and realizing the only way I could do something for the Prince, was if I took Viktor down. I had a lighter, from when Julias was teaching me about how fire was more deadly for older vampires. And it was a super old textile mill. Setting it on fire was stupid easy. Damn thing practically exploded."

"You survived."

"Crawled my way out of there, almost split in half and half burned up. Daniel found me."

"Of course the sheriff did. The man has an infuriating habit of showing up randomly." After another heavy sigh, Maria twisted on the floor to sit more on her side, a lady like position for a woman in a big white gown. "Why didn't you tell Michael and I?"

"That I killed your fellow council member? Didn't see that going well, even if you were happy Viktor was dead."

"Prudence was smart." She wrinkled her broken nose, and with a quiet, but still very gross clicking sound, she pushed it back into place with a palm. From how smoothly she did it, it was something she'd done plenty of times in the past. "You have been the center of many events since your embrace, Jack."

"Tell me about it." He pulled out a smile for her, something warm. Seemed fitting. "Sorry, for keeping it secret from you. And I got other secrets too, ones I'll share with you, when I know it's safe."

"You come into my cathedral and demand I apologize for my actions, all with intent to learn my secrets about Michael, and yet you have apologized to me several times already..."

"It took a long time to realize what sort of person you really were, Maria. Antoinette sealed the deal, when she told me she talked to you about what the Ripper told you. Most everyone was convinced you'd come for my head if they found out."

Her eyes fell, showing weakness, and she knew she was showing it, too.

"I knew the sort of man Lucas had become. And I knew that I could not blame you for what you did. I..." With a wavering voice, she shook her head, her long black hair lightly bouncing against her corpse skin. "I am sorry, Jack, for... for all the things you rightly accused me of. Truly. I..." Sighing, she looked down at her fist, the one she'd hit him in the chest with. "I suppose all I really needed was to land one good punch, to realize it wasn't what I wanted."

His body relaxed, muscles releasing tension he hadn't realized he'd still been holding onto. "Been there."

"I have talked with Natasha, about what I did, but I... did not lay my heart bare as I should have. And Damien, I let him get peeks of my guilt every so often, but even then, I have never truly apologized."

"It's understandable, it is. I didn't come here cause I thought you were being unreasonable. If I was you, and had gone through the shit you had, damn right I'd be putting up walls and keeping people out. But, I also came here because I knew you were a good person, Maria." He groaned with his own words. "Sorry, 'knew you were a good person' sounds like more stupid cliche shit, doesn't it? Something right out of a story trope."

"It does, the words of someone who has read far too much fiction written by teenagers."

He laughed. She smiled. Great progress.

"What I'm trying to say is... bad shit went down, is still going down, and everyone's hurt. But we don't have to be enemies. We can be friends--yes I know that sounds really juvenile, but I'm being serious. None of this secluded ancient vampire crap."

"Easy for you to say, little Kindred, but I have been living a secluded life for over two hundred and fifty years."

"Baby steps. Damien says you and him have grown a bond. Was he lying?"

She looked down. "No."

"I'm no therapist, Maria. Just a kid who thinks most people, even assholes like yourself, aren't as bad as they make themselves out to be, or as they think themselves to be. And I came here not just because I need information about Michael. I came because I want this animosity between us gone."

She nodded, and reached behind herself to pull herself up onto the pew. Miraculously, nothing in the cathedral was damaged, and she sat down as she forced herself to look at him. Every time she did, it was obvious he'd pulled the scab off a big wound, making this whole conversation sting for her. But it had to be done if this was going to go anywhere.

"It will take time."

He got up and sat next to her, a couple feet between them. Closer than before, but not too close.

"Yep."

"I... I am surprised at how much you remind me of Antoinette."

"Eh?"

"You are both convinced Kindred can rise above their baser natures. Admittedly, your lover handles this dilemma of Kindred instinct and humanly desires with far more grace and intelligence than you."

He winced and clucked his tongue once. "Agreed."

"But, I can admit that, given time, this very conversation could have happened between her and I. Again, with her managing the nuance with far more grace than you."

He chuckled this time. "Agreed."

"Still, I... must thank you, Jack. It has been a long, long time since anyone has argued against me for such things. Most are content to leave Nosferatu as disfigured as I well alone. And those that aren't, I drive away. Damien is the first in many years to share more than five words with me."

"He's a good guy."

"He is. And you, as well. Infuriating, stupid, juvenile, but I... cannot hide behind my rage any longer. You are not someone deserving of my hate."

"Thank you. And, uh, if it's any consolation, that nightmare you hit me with was... effective." If not for his stubborn tenacity -- the reason Julias had sired him -- and the mistake Maria had made creating the nightmare, he'd probably be a ball on the floor, screaming.

"It is, and isn't. Thank you. But, you must understand about Michael. If I tell you about his past, I am violating his trust."

"I think at this point, violating his trust is a small price to pay if it means saving him and the rest of the city from his own damn stupidity."

That did it. She nodded slowly as she looked up, as if looking to God for some sort of guidance.

"Michael had a childe before Jessy. A man, who grew to love Garry."

Oh fucking shit. "Where's this dude now?" He already knew the answer.

"Dead."