My New Personal Assistant Ch. 29

My New Personal Assistant: Chapter 29 - Lion's den

"You should go now, Matt," Tomas's voice was rough, nearly ominous.

All my senses screamed at me, and I knew what I would see when I raised my eyes to meet his. I could now tell it just by that tone drilling into my soul.

"Why?" like a person possessed, I stepped toward him.

"Cos I've been holding back for too long now. It's getting dangerous."

Fuck! Chills ran through me as he said that. I knew perfectly well he was losing control now. I saw him in his calm and stoic, and I saw him in rage when he became a beast not holding any bars! His eyes tried to warn me. Doesn't he already know well enough that it makes me even more crazy for him?!

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"How long can lions last without food?"

"What?"

"Lions. They hunt once a week, but what if they won't be able to eat for longer than that?"

I saw sides of him that probably not many people witnessed, I relished in that thought, yet I was yearning to know the one he decided to hide from me on purpose. From all the interrogations I made his exes go through, I learned how different Thomas was when he was with me compared to anyone else. He never let control be taken away from him, and he supposedly treated his subs like a different person I know.

I needed to see this side of him. I needed to feel what Owen told me about. I needed to know if it was something I could even withstand. I wanted to see this world he created with such care.

"I don't know. What is your point, Matt?"

"How long can you last, Thomas?"

"Why are you asking, Matt?"

Why is he like this? I can see it now so clearly. This rigid wall around him. Thomas stays firmly behind that wall until he spills everything on me as if the dam has just broken. Then, he lets me take him, makes love to me, and even proclaims he loves me! And then I blink, and in that short moment, he builds a new wall, more sturdy than the one before! Why?!

"Your eyes. You are starving, Thomas."

I saw I nearly had him. I could see the cracks! Thomas won't be able to resist long. I knew from the moment he saw me that he was fighting that everlasting battle within himself.

I was trying my hardest to be angry at him, to act distant, and not be swayed by that fucking horny resistance I saw in him when I walked beside him.

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I wanted to hate Thomas... Until he took me to that music room...

I could see the calmness that enveloped him as he entered. I saw the frustration when he realized what he did, probably on a whim. He, of all people, acted rashly and showed me something so dear to him.

I loved it there! I love guitars. If I had a soft spot for some things, four were standing right there next to that piano. But when I found out no one ever came there, I knew that he really did love me. But what's more - he can't control that feeling when he's with me. Knowing this and knowing now so much about the person he built around this soft core of his, I was smitten.

I don't know if I ever loved anyone the way I felt loved by him. Knowing all this now was making his dejection even harder.

.

"Have you done this on purpose, Matt? Coming down here," his voice sounded weak.

"In all honesty, no. I wasn't planning on this." It was true. I wanted to hurt him. I wanted to be the coldest bastard he ever met. But I couldn't. I saw his eyes under that calculating, organized, and uncompromising mask he created for himself, and fuck it all... I was lost myself.

"Then why have you come?"

"I suppose I am also crazy from hunger," I was slowly losing my voice as I wasn't even trying to will my body to stop shaking anymore. I surrendered to that entirely.

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I saw his neck strain as I knelt before him. His eyes were cloudy, his chest still as if he was restraining himself with the last resolve. Why does he keep restricting himself so much with me?

"Devour me, Thomas. Please," I saw his will tremble many times I used this voice. I saw its effect now as I was kneeling beneath him. His eyes darkened, and I saw the beast emerge from the shadows in them.

Yes, I am that metaphorical. I am also a huge romantic for the right person. Deal with it! I will break his thick shell just like he broke mine. With feelings that he cannot control and lust that no one else can satisfy! Call it my revenge for him breaking my heart; even in truth, it's my desire to be with him...

Try to break me! Try to break the person you fell in love with! I will stand through it all, and I will not give up!

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Thomas stood there for a long time, peering down at me. I waited.

His fingers wrapped the chain around my neck twice, then he reached into the drawer and pulled three of the rings from titanium I designed to fit into the links. Each works as a small but sturdy lock. Thomas examined the tightness and strength of the coils as if he had already learned how to work with them.

The cold metal sent shivers down my stomach. Thomas leaned to me closer, pulling on the long loose piece of the chain like a leash. I wanted to jump on him, pull him down, and plunge my tongue in his throat, but I resisted the urge and just stared at him with this thought apparent in my eyes.

Thomas saw it, and I could see the lightest smirk crossing his lips as if the lion had welcomed me in his den since I was stupid enough to enter!

.

Let's take this fight to your field. I can endure anything you throw my way! Just watch. I was determined. I was riled! I needed him to take me and realize he needed me the same way I do need him!

Finally, he lost it, and with a sharp movement of his wrist, his mouth collided with mine in the soul-sucking kiss we both needed so much!

I purred on his lips, craving to touch him, but I committed to the idea that I would beat him in his own game! I wanted to see him as dominant, not just a rough lover. Thomas raised himself and scrutinized me with his eyes. He saw my resolve.

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"What do you want, Matt?" his voice was the same he had when he first took me back then in my office. I exhaled, the need filling me.

"I want to see you as the person you perceive yourself to be, Thomas."

"What do you mean by that, Matt?"

"You know perfectly well what I mean..." I thought about what name I should call him. If what the guys told me it's true, he distinguishes between being called Master, which is the highest, and then the polite Sir. Or, I suppose, me, who kept calling him Thomas. He will be Tommy for me one day, but we will get there gradually. First, I need to see it all... With that, I decided...

"... Master."

His eyes said it all, I was doomed, as was he.

.

Thomas yanked roughly at that chain, bringing my face to his knees. I let out a grunt as I saw him raise one and soon felt his foot on my nape, pinning me to the floor.

I heard his ragged breath. His foot pressed harder, the chain on my neck choking me. I needed to put my hands on the floor, so they get some relief from being squashed between my waist and thighs.

"Do not ever use that word if you can't handle what it may bring. This is your last chance to learn, Matthew."

Matthew? Why Matthew? Okay... I kept silent. He didn't ask a single question. I, on the other hand, kept making Owen answer so many of them that night that, firstly, I felt firsthand the thrill of someone fierce and strong submitting to you just by the tone of your voice. But secondly, I knew enough to be at least partially ready for what I wanted to experience right now.

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He took his foot off me. I heard him crouching and then felt his fingers in my hair. Thomas pulled on it, and craned my head back to look at him. I did for a split second before I lowered my gaze. His sharp inhale was chilling.

"Did Owen tell you about his training?"

"Yes, Master," shivers went through my stomach. I didn't know how I would feel submitting to him, but this, however surprising, was reveling. I loved that thrill it gave me!

"What everything he told you, Matthew?"

"A lot, Master."

Thomas slapped me hard across my face. The hair he pulled sent sharp tugging pain as my face moved at the impact while he still held the strands of my hair along with the chain firmly -- unsatisfactory answer...

"I made Owen talk about it for over seven hours. We spend the whole night at my apartment talking about it."

Another slap... What the fuck? Thomas must have seen the confused frown on my face.

"You forgot something."

"Master?" I asked what the fuck he meant by that initially, but it seemed to satisfy him.

"That's right. You will add that to each sentence you will be so lucky to speak, Mattew."

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Am I supposed to say something back or be silent?

Another slap answered my question. I hated this already, but for some reason, it was heating me at the same time.

"Thank you for correcting me, Master," I purred. I felt his hand gripping my hair shake.

"Look at me, Matt," his tone gentler. Can't he keep it up even in something that has been his lifestyle for nearly two decades?

I looked at him. His eyes were foggy, but I saw worry in them.

"Answer me now, and please consider it wisely. Are you sure you want to do this?"

"I want to see all of you, Thomas. You may have given up, but I didn't. If this is such a huge part of your life, I want to see it, experience it, and know whether I can stand it. Cos I want to be part of your life too in whatever twisted way you let me."

"This may break you, Matt."

"Thomas, I survived things worse than what sadist loving me can do! Bring on your worst! I will call you Tommy one day as I will wake up next to you feeling your cum in me, knowing that mine is in you. I am fucking patient, I am driven, and I've been through hell already. There is nothing you can do to me to break me!"

"Why are you doing this, Matt?"

"I told you. You broke my shell. You became a person I am willing to love. You think you know me, Thomas, but you've never seen the things I can do for people I love!"

With that, I kissed him. My scalp hurt as he still held my hair, but I didn't care. I hoped that he likes his lovers bold, cos this way we may get there... Well, hopefully not. Fuck it! With all power I had, I kept at his lips.

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He backed from me slightly, watching me. I felt his finger on my jaw. Then, with his thumb, he traced the contours of my parted lips before he paused on the bottom, holding it open like that, gazing into my face.

"In that case, we need to talk, Matthew."

Fuck! That tone ignited something deep within me, and it was hard not to jump on him. As if he saw it, he pulled hard on the chain.

"You are not ready for punishment you would unleash upon yourself, cunt. Do not test me!" his voice was quiet, but the gravelly voice sounded louder in my ears than if thunder roared just a few feet from me.

"I understand, Master," I whispered, lowering my sight.

.

"Stand up and strip."

I stood up but stripping presented a problem here. The shirt I was wearing could be taken off only over my head, and he was holding a leash attached to my neck. How the hell am I supposed to take it off?

Thomas must have seen the question in my eyes. I wish I could see his face, to know how he looks at me now.

"Master, if I may have a question?"

"Ask, Matthew," slight amusement could be heard in his voice.

"Could you let the chain go only while I take off my shirt?"

"No."

Great... another use-your-imagination situation... He loves playing with my mind. There is no other way, is it? Damn, how many shirts will I tear in my life with him?

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I pushed deeper the need to swear out loud and firmly grabbed the neck hem of my shirt. It was an old shirt, I didn't care about it, and thankfully the neckline wasn't thick, so after a few hard pulls, it ripped. I hated that I could not look at him! I wanted to see so much how he felt when I ripped my clothes on my chest for him. It took a couple of pulls, and the fabric on my chest was torn down the middle, and I could take it off my shoulders and let it fall on the ground.

The second it touched the floor, I felt a hard pull and squealed out in surprise and sudden fear as I was pushed down.

"Do not make me a mess here, cunt."

What the fuck, you bastard?! I bit my lip so I won't say it aloud, but I was shaking from nerves and gripping my fists tight. My head was pushed lower by his foot on my nape, holding me down. I took the shirt and folded it with one hand that could reach it. Fucking bastard!

.

"Stand up!"

This time I was glad I could not look at him. I was fucking furious!

"Pants."

I took them off and folded them on that shirt.

"Did Owen show you positions?"

I did everything in my power not to roll my eyes. I found this particular part silly. Like seriously, S.I.L.L.Y.! Who can enjoy being positioned by order and be rewarded or punished if they are not standing correctly? Isn't kneeling or standing enough? Do you need to add stupid names to each stand? Ridiculous...

"He told me about them, but I didn't ask him to teach me any of them." Honestly, I facepalmed when he showed me one after I asked him out of curiosity.

"...Master," I nearly forgot to add.

"Shame, I would enjoy that."

Do not raise an eyebrow -- DO NOT raise an eyebrow! Don't smirk! Just stare at the floor!... I hope I managed to keep my reaction neutral.

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"Are you clean?"

"Could you clarify that, Master?" Thankfully this was supposed to be a generally accepted question.

Thomas came behind me and trailed my spine down with his fingers. Then he stopped on my ass and scratched my left cheek. "If I would now want to fuck you, would you be prepared for me, Matthew?"

Just him mentioning fucking me made my cock twitch and start filling with blood.

"No, Master. I didn't come here with the intention of having sex. I came after a workout."

"I can feel that, Matthew. You have been sweating a lot. I love that!" Thomas licked my neck, and I shivered and did my best not to moan as I felt him on me. "But that poses a problem for me, Matthew, cos I want you sweaty, but I won't fuck you dirty. I will accept your reason this time, but if this would repeat, I will make you pay for keeping me from taking that pussy of yours. Is that clear?"

Fucking hell... Now I really need him to fuck me!

"Yes, Master," my voice was weak and husky.

"Good."

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"Pain or pleasure, Matthew?"

Damn... I have been expecting the question since Owen told me about it. Thomas had to be sure Owen would mention it. But I didn't expect to feel these sensations that made me scared and horny at the same time when he asked me. From what I heard, Owen always chose the one he deemed he deserved most. I wanted to try something.

"Master, would you be so kind as to choose for me?"

I heard him catch his breath. I did my best not to sneer. Instead, pure devotion played on my face.

"Are you sure you want me to choose, Matthew?" his rough voice was making me shiver, but something with all this was off. No matter how much I wanted to enjoy it, it was just a fragment of the passion and thrill I was used to when I was with him.

"Yes, Master."

In all honesty, calling him Master was exciting for the first few times, but now it started to feel redundant... maybe I'm not such a good match for him anyway... He lives for this kind of control, and I loved how we both could control and let go depending on our needs. Even when he was the one predominantly topping me, I could always fight for that control. Just to give it like this felt... boring after a while. If only I could just look up and see his wild eyes hovering over me with lust, I would feel hornier about this. But I already committed. And I was ready to deliver.

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"Come with me," Thomas moved and sat down on a leather chair. I stood there looking down.

He put a small pillow next to his right foot. "Sit down." I sat on it unceremoniously, hating that I could not look at him. I missed seeing his face. Without it, nothing here was that interesting for me.

"First. I don't think this would work, Matt."

Oh no... again?

"I have had many people under my feet, and I can tell that you are not enjoying this."

"Are you enjoying this, Master?"

"Don't call me that, Matt. It's making me crazy hearing it."

"Isn't that a good thing?"

"I told you I don't need to push boundaries for those who don't look for things like that. And I can see you are not into this. It's fine. You can just admit it."

"I miss seeing your face."

"What?"

"It's empty for me without being able to see you. I didn't mind when you covered my eyes while you were fucking me, but being here and only hearing your voice, it's empty. I yearn to see how horny you are when I say the word Master, how your eyes get dim and dark when I rip my shirt off for you, or when you lick my neck cos you are crazy about the way I smell."

"Look at me, Matt."

I raised my eyes, and the second I saw his face, my dick filled, and I moaned in appreciation. His eyes were cloudy, his lips parted in soft exhales, and the way he was breathing, I knew he was still thinking about the smell of my sweat.

"Thank you, Master," I purred.

His eyes grew fierce! Seeing that made me sway, and I felt precum run down my slit. Fucking hell, how hot this was for him! How hot it became for me just with this one change.

Thomas reached to me and kissed me. "Good boy."

I purred on his lips and blinked in a sudden surge of emotions rushing through me.

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Fucking hell, how hot this man is for me!

"What exactly do you wish to experience here, Matt?"

I thought about the best way for me to tell him. I gently took the wrist he held my chain with and stood up slowly. My eyes were pleading. Thomas watched me from behind that stern wall in his eyes but followed me.

I walked those few steps backward, thankfully, we were close, so when my right shoulder blade touched the cold steel grid, I could feel that there was space behind my left one. I stepped sideways and watched his eyes darken as I stepped inside and let go of his hand as I knelt next to the bed.

"Please don't, you don't know what you are asking for," he had a severe expression. He was fighting with himself like I never saw him before. I think if he didn't hold back so much, he would already be in me! His eyes were wild!

"When I told you to do to me what you wanted since that first day, was this it?"

"No."

"Did you at any point wish for this?"

Thomas nodded harshly. "I did."

"Then why not?"

"Your mental state."

My features hardened. "Try me."

"You have no idea how the brain acts when imprisoned, Matt."

"I do. There is nothing these walls can do to me, Thomas."

His eyes peered into mine, reading me like he was trying to see through me.

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"What do you mean, Matt?"

"When I was eight, it was the first time I realized it. Since I remember, there were times when mom would come home with the most amazing games. We would pack a small bag for me and tell dad I am going somewhere. She would then take me to this storage room. It was our hideout. I think I was maybe four or five the first time, but since that place was familiar even then, I can't be sure if I wasn't there before. Anyway..."

I looked around at a simple twin bed with white sheets and a wall behind me. This cell was about eight by eight feet, with one solid wall behind me and a concrete floor. Three walls and a ceiling were made of steel bars. It felt safe in a strange, twisted way. I looked at Thomas; his eyes had so much care in them that I felt warm.

"She used to take me there, and we called it our hideout. She told me she always wanted to have a tree house when she was little, but she never had one, so when she got older, she bought this place and made it into one."

Maybe I should feel bad talking about it, but honestly, the way she did it brought only fond memories of her in my mind. I smiled.