My Secret Desire is His, Too

He kept messaging, but not really having anything to say. Despite the time difference it was always late at night for both of us, so I usually was drunk. Sometimes I ignored the messages even though I wondered if we were possibly thinking about the same thing. These random conversations via messenger went on for years. At first, they were almost painful because he seemingly had nothing to say, but eventually we started talking about problems w/in our respective relationships, only most of the time I was single...

As so often happens when two people discuss their relationships, sex became a common theme within our conversations. How his girl was, what my newest scratching post couldn't do, how he cheats on his girl, and so on. He'd give graphic details. I asked for them, saying I just wanted to help him problem solve. He started asking about my exploits, pretending he missed single life, he wanted to hear about my latest conquest. We were getting dangerously close to crossing a boundary, him more so. He began to ask for vivid descriptions of my "moves" and I'd fill my stories with not so subtle descriptions of my body & sexual preferences. I'd explain the size of my nipples, how I'm a multiple girl, how wet I get, and what things excite me. Things that could and should have been ommitted from conversations between people like us. He must have begun to realize I felt what he felt because he finally confessed one night.

We were exchanging our usual sexual encounter stories but his comments were more brazen than they had ever been. I didn't shy away though. I met him at his level, playfully saying things like, "well, what would you do to me instead?" He'd acted as if I'd asked him something as innocent as what he had for lunch because he didn't pause or anything. Just sent me a play by play, every orgasm inducing move, of exactly what he'd do if given the chance. I could hardly breathe. Every part of my body waited, hot, and ready for him to say it. Like the words would feel as good as his cock slipping into me.

Yet then he said, "you know if you were some other girl, not you obviously."

Too quickly I teased back, "well obviously... but not really". I held my breath after I sent that. I wondered if it was too...close?

"I have a confession" popped up on my computer. I sat up in bed. Is this really it? No way he feels what I'm feeling? What I've always felt? He can't want inside me like I want him to be? I'm just twisted. No way he's as twisted as I am. What if he is? He won't actually say it will he? Oh shit.

I quickly typed, "Oh really? What's that? Kill anyone lately?" Giving him a playful out. Probably for the best if there is the smallest chance he's about to type the words I want so badly to read. I began to think maybe I just did us both a favor.

"No...but I'm not sure I should tell you now...or really ever" appeared. I can't bare it. My whole body responds. My nipples are hard, I'm dripping wet, and I'm barely breathing. Still unsure if I can face this truth I stopped playing and typed, "Oh well just tell me then. Or don't if it makes you uncomfortable."

He stalled a bit, clearly whatever he wanted to say he would say, but he still didn't. Instead he admits he's worried about how I'll respond and that he's a little scared. I remind him how close we are and have always been. I tell him what he already knows. That we talk about everything and even say things we probably shouldn't. I'm too far gone now. I don't care how wrong it is. I don't care if we run the risk of never speaking again once it's said. All I care about is how badly I need to hear it. I flash back to all those times we were just hanging out together. All the times we were left to our own devices. How we always had spoken like this to each other and how he always hugged me a bit too long. I've had this desire for most of my life and I needed more than anything at the moment for him to say the words. So he did.

My cousin confessed to how badly he wants me. He told me at family reunions he'd see what I was wearing, sometimes a swimsuit, and would picture his hands all over me. He remembers every detail of the same night I have fantasized about repeatedly on a beach. The night I actually thought he was going to kiss me is the night he almost had. He told me how many times I was in the next room, so he jerked off. How one time when I came to visit his mom, stumbling drunk, and passed out, he stood next to me thinking about sliding his cock over my lips. He even admitted to sneaking into my apartment and stealing my underwear. He used that underwear to jerk off with for years. Finally, he told me how when he fucked one of my friends one night he pretended it was me the whole time. As he confessed I thought about just blocking him. Pretending it never happened because I still figured he didn't have to know I was as fucked up as him.

Instead I told him the truth. Starting with admitting I listened to him fuck my friend that night and fingered myself to orgasm just outside the door. I confessed everything. How his gf's always made me a little jealous. How everytime I was at his house and he hopped in the shower after a run, I wanted join him. That once I even leaned against the closed door and brought myself to orgasm just because I knew he was naked behind it. Sometimes I'd sneak into their unlocked house and pleasure myself for hours on his bed. Many times I wanted to have him stay with me at the same apartment he stole my underwear from. So many years wasted. So many orgasms missed and times I could have felt my cousin moving inside of me.

For a long time after that we would talk sporadically, sometimes as if nothing happened and other times using our words to make each other cum so so hard. During the first few years and after the hottest exchanges, I'd feel guilty or scared sometimes so I'd ignore his messages for months. I was terrified we'd get caught and I knew what we were doing was wrong. I figured no real harm done since we physically never did anything and would fight hard to forget about it. I convinced myself if we were actually to see each other, after the first touch we would realize it was all in our minds and not be able to go through with it.

It didn't work. I'm not in love with my cousin. Nothing like that. It's worse. I crave him and I crave the wrongness of it. I want my cousin to make love to me because that's almost dirtier than fucking me. There's no love there. Just the most intense desire I've ever had for anyone amplified by how I'm not "allowed" to feel this way. I don't know if I'll ever be able to let it go, but I know if I can it won't be until after we have at least enjoyed every beautiful and depraved sexual act two people can do together. Two cousins can do together.

He knows it, too. We want each other so bad that sometimes I'll pout and quit talking to him because I want him physically in me so much all the talk is killing me. We've already crossed every line other than the physical. We send each other pics and videos, even videos of me doing other guys. We call each other just to hear about what it will be like and moan our fantasy into the phone cumming loudly then hanging up quickly. Sometimes twice a day. I don't care where I am or who I'm with, I'll slip away. Even run into a grocery store bathroom, so we can talk eachother to orgasm. I make him remind me I'm his cousin. Remind me how he wants to fuck his cousin and his cousin wants to fuck him. We talk about the missed opportunities and what we would have really done back then. My favorite things to hear are stories of what we will do together. I make him tell me how he'll make love to his cousin. Look her in the eyes while he cums. Kiss her deep in public. Then how he'll make me, his cousin, his whore. How his cum will be dripping down my leg during a family reunion and how we will invent reasons to fuck like running to get ice, even sneak into the bathroom at one of our aunt's large homes so he's deep in me when a family member knocks thinking only one of us is in there.

He texted me just the other day and I was in the car with his mom. Turned on more than ever, I excitedly said to her "oh your son just texted me." Then I sat next to my aunt and texted her son, my cousin, that I wanted to ride his tongue and suck the taste of me off of him. Just typing that with family right there almost made me cum instantly. I slipped away and told him his mom was a few feet away, but how I've never been so wet. I asked him how much better will it be when we are surrounded by family? When we return and they say how nice it is we are so close without realizing our definition of close is him having just sucked on my clit.

It's been over ten years now and we still haven't had the opportunity. Yet, I'm still just as fixated. We want to do every thing we can to eachother. Yesterday he still wanted another pic that showed him how wet I get for him. How dripping the thought of my cousin violating me gets me. I even like to ask my cousin if I'm allowed to cum. I like making him hard when he asks for a pic or a vid of my saying his name. I beg for his attention. God how I beg. I read all the messages over and over about my cousin and what we'll do one day. We'll verge on obscene when in public just because we shouldn't even be doing what we are doing in private. Strangers won't know they are watching one cousin slide his fingers in the other under the table while they tongue wrestle. One day we'll fuck right under the nose of family. One day his wife will come home from work and ask how our family fun day was just as a small spot of my cousin's cum seeps unnoticed through my jeans. I have that day all planned out...

Cousins finally cum together to do very bad things:

I've been picturing flying down there for a day. Thinking about you picking me up from the airport. Shoving my tongue in your mouth. Making you call your wife while I suck your dick in the car on the way to the hotel. Once we get there I want it all. Sucking, licking, biting, cum all over me, cum in me and I want you to mark my body everywhere I can cover. I want hickys just above my clit, on either side of my pussy.

You'll have already told your wife that I came into town for an interview & orientation. That it's about an hour away from the airport, so it's pointless to drive back and forth all day. You'll tell her it will be okay though because I'll have about a four hour break in the middle of the day so we'll go see her then.

Before we leave to have lunch with her, you'll shower. I won't though. I want to meet your wife full of your cum, full of my cousin's cum. We'll visit. I'll even make fun of you and say things, "like I can't believe this woman was willing to share your bed, let alone marry you."

You'll tell your wife we are going to grab dinner after the rest of my orientation. I'll hug her close, feeling some of your cum on my leg, say goodbye, and then we'll leave.

The minute I get in the passenger seat, I'll start to rub my clit then shove my fingers in your mouth. You'll want to pull over, but I'll only let you finger me until we get to the hotel. When we get there, outside the car I'll push you back and kiss you hard and deep for the world to see before we go inside.

Inside, you'll shower with me this time and take in the hickys you've left all over your cousin's body. Run your hands all over me, kissing my neck. You'll yank me out of the shower soaking wet and bend me over the sink facing the mirror. Then you'll fuck me so hard and quick you'll cum instantly.

We'll fall into bed and make a video.

A long video. You'll start by slowly worshipping my body. Asking me "does my cousin like it when I touch her here? How about here?" You'll tell me to show you the places I touch when I think about my cousin. You'll watch me and then look me in the eyes kissing me. You'll say "I love you so much, this is what making love really is". Then you'll make slow deep love to me for the camera. While looking me in the eyes, you'll tell me to keep my eyes open to see and feel how good a cousin's love can be. You'll come deeper and harder in me than you ever have in anyone.

You'll call your wife right after and talk to her as I suck and lick you back to hard. We'll turn the camera back on and you'll ask, "Is my cousin ready to be my "good little baby girl? My good little whore?" I'll beg to be both. Beg to hear more. To be filled up and owned by you. You'll take me every way you can. You'll choke me as I cum making me cum harder. You'll lick at my ass until it's all wet because your cousin is going to give you what you want. You'll take my glass toy and have me wet it, then tell me to fuck myself while you slide into my ass. You'll start slow and I'll twist my toy slowly in and out of my pussy until you can't hold back anymore. You'll tell me this is because I'm a very, very bad cousin doing bad things as I fuck my pussy with the toy as hard and as fast as you're pounding my perfect ass and rubbing my clit, sending me spasming and screaming "Best. Cousin. Ever."

You'll tell me every dirty thought you have and have ever had. Sometimes leaning in to whisper the dirtiest things. You'll make me answer you, confessing to how long I've wanted to be your toy, how many times I wished you'd touched me, how many times I tried to turn you on and admit how addicted I am to my cousin's touch. I'll do anything/say anything/call you anything just to be your "good little baby girl? My good little whore?" . Anything my cousin wants just to get the next orgasm he holds for me.

I'll make you feel like you've never known what sex could really be like and you'll violate me to let me know the same. You'll have me begging and pleading for permission to cum again. Begging "Please cousin please, I'll be your fuck toy forever. The best cousin, the dirtiest cousin, your canvas to paint with cum."

You'll make sure I know I'm your favorite cousin but that I'm very bad for letting you do these things to me and that I deserve this because I made you want me. You'll say you always knew your cousin wanted to be your whore and tell me I forced you to take me. That I forced my cousin to do things cousins shouldn't do. You'll say you had to and now you own me. Now, no matter who I fuck, I'll always be thinking of my cousin because I did a bad thing and now that you've tasted me you won't let me forget. You'll tell me I'll never forget this and do the dirtiest thing I'd ever heard anyone say and what you said you would do for years now. You'll tongue your cum out of my pussy, spit it into my mouth, and kiss me deeply.

I'll take it all. I'll take every violation eagerly and all the blame. I begged for it our whole life by dressing a certain way, tricking you into conversations about sex with other women, looking a bit too long. I deserve every inch of you for listening as you got my friend off and i came silently in the other room.

Then you'll stop me and tell me it's all okay. That I'll be your special cousin now and always, that you'll always love me this way. I just will need punished sometimes for doing this to family. Punished for making my cousin mark, love, fuck, cum in me, cum on me, and cum thinking about me most of our lives.

The whole day we'll be kissing whenever we can. Only breaking from a kiss to use our mouths elsewhere, just to always enjoy doing what's wrong in front of everyone because it feels so fucking good.

After our second taping we'll go to the hotel bar or any place public just so we can be seen kissing and be all over eachother knowing cousins are being very bad together. We'll sit at a table and order a drink. But just a drink because we'll keep kissing and almost immediately, below the table, you'll begin shoving your fingers in me feeling my wetness mixed with your cum. You'll tell me I can't leave the table until I cum, but that I can't let anyone know. You'll whisper to me how much you love touching your cousin like this and then kiss me deep for everyone to see throwing me over the edge. We'll pay the check and go back to bed. We'll watch our videos while we do everything again until you have to leave.

You'll tell your wife all you have to do tomorrow is run me to the airport after we grab breakfast. I'm what's for breakfast, as I'll wake up to your tongue lapping at my clit. You'll start slow, making love to me again, but then you'll make sure to leave fresh marks and cum all over and in me, insisting I not shower before I leave. I'll board the plane marked by my cousin, coated in his cum, and full of it. When I get home I still won't shower. I'll use my cousin's cum as lube for my toy, watch our videos, and savor my day with family.