My Teddy Bear Ch. 02

His pulsing has slowed, stopped, and I come to rest, sitting in his lap. His head is tilted back now, my hands under it supporting him. He's gasping for air and to steady himself as he comes down from the orgasm. I kiss his throat, my turn to taste his sweat, drift down and kiss along one collarbone and over the chiselled muscle beneath. I stoop a little further and tease his own nipple with my tongue and that draws a little laugh from his lips.

I straighten back up to find him now looking at me, our faces almost level. Both sets of arms now around the other person. Kisses, gentle and earnest, almost no tongues involved, noses bumping together softly and fluttering eyelids grazing cheeks. I feel the last remnants of tension inside him slip away and slowly he pulls me back down with him as he lies back on the bed.

Lying on his chest, chin resting in one hand and stroking his beard with the other. My boobs are crushed against him, my aching thighs on either side, with feet hooked back over below his knees. He slipped out of me when he softened, but I'm almost glued to him by a puddle of us at the base of his cock. A tangle of matted hair, sperm and pussy slime. Despite the incredibly sexual arrangement of our bodies, the atmosphere is peaceful. I've finally managed to sate my wanton desires, and he seems at last to be - if not actually satisfied - at least incapable of any more. His hands are on my back and bottom, hardly moving at all but whereas before any touch would be getting me worked up, this is gently soothing.

The house is very quiet now. Some pipes in the floor are creaking, which means somebody had a shower recently, but otherwise no movement and no voices. Everyone else must have gone to bed. I reflect on how our disappearance after dinner might have looked. Fortunately, the routine we've established of hanging out in Teddy's room would look to an observer on the other side of the door almost identical to what's just happened, so I just have to hope that the clues I felt were screamingly obvious at the table really did go unnoticed. The room is fully dark now, the only light coming from a nearly full moon wholly visible through Ted's skylight window. It's enough to for us to see each other clearly, albeit in monochrome, making our pale hair and skin appear white, and eyes a shining black.

"I don't feel like sleeping yet, Teddy Bear. What were you listening to earlier?"

"Oh, that was Ravel. Gaspard de la nuit I think it was. Piano stuff. Discovered it last week. It's stunning."

His pronunciation of the title was awful and I wasn't even sure what he had said, "Let me hear," I've never purposefully engaged with his music before, but I feel moved to now.

He gently lifts me up and to the side, peeling us apart, and sits me up against the headboard. He hands me the headphones and I shuffle them on. Thick and heavy foam seals around my ears and I already feel enclosed, like I'm about to dive into the sea or go to space. These are *really* nice headphones. I can't imagine how much they must have cost.

In a few seconds, I hear a gentle tinkling of high piano notes. Shimmering. Single long notes held just below picking out a melody... gradual appearance of a thicker, more solid underlayer. Peaks and troughs of gently swaying music, it feels like the moonlight, dappled one moment by the clouds, the next in full glare. It's utterly charming, but gradually a darker theme emerges, swelling into a loud, uncomfortable burst before easing back into the gentler melody of before.

Back and forth it goes, dark moments increasingly dominant, and the tranquility of the opening shifts away to sad, slow phrases. I realise I've not been breathing. The emotion of the music is catching me, I falter for a moment, almost overwhelmed by the intensity of it. I reach for Ted's hand and the instant I touch him I start to cry.

The sadness of the music speaks directly to the turmoil I've felt, that I've mostly forgotten in the last couple of hours but which has been an undercurrent of the last week. Judgment and shame. I feel like the music has pierced my fragile armour and the darkness is pouring out. It's anguishing but incredibly beautiful at the same time.

It's changing, still deep and dark, but increasingly frenetic and busy. Intensifying but also lightening, as though by increasing the pace it will expunge the negative emotion sooner. And flashes of lightness appear, breaking through like rays of the moonshine.

With growing relief as the lightness takes over, I shift towards him and collapse against his chest, one arm across his belly, clinging on while the rush of emotion tails off. Softly, gently, the music ends, almost a sudden return to the lightness of the very first moments.

Very gradually, I manage to steady myself, and remove the headphones.

"Wow."

"Amazing isn't it." He's got an arm around my shoulder, warm embrace so reassuring. I snuggle into him.

"I felt like it reached inside of me and turned on a tap, let all the sadness and confusion rush out."

"I could tell."

"What was it called again?"

Ted looks embarrassed. "It's French. I don't know if I am saying it right." He shows me the Spotify page on his phone.

"*Gaspard de la Nuit*... Gaspard is the French version of the name Caspar. Caspar of the Night." I did French at A level, so a while ago, but my pronunciation is passable. "A bit literal, maybe there's some other meaning. Or perhaps it's about the cartoon ghost."

"It's from around 1900, so maybe it's his origin story." He chuckles, and tries to imitate. "Gass-parr duh la noo-ee." He frowns. "Well I'll have to work on that."

"It's really beautiful Teddy. Thank you for sharing it with me."

"Music like this is too special not to share. Especially with such a special person."

I flush and smile, hugging him tighter.

"Is it always like this? The music you listen to?"

He laughs. "Not at all Pips. That would be so tiring! In fact I'd never heard anything like this before. But this past week... well, it's been the perfect thing really."

"I can see what you mean," I mumble. Understanding that he must have been feeling equally lost as I have these last few days. "I wouldn't say I feel *fine*, but I definitely feel some relief."

"Right? When I listened to it first I felt like I could breathe easily again. I hadn't realised how wound up I had become and this just... let the spring go."

We sit there in silence for a while, feeling each others' warmth and heartbeat, the cooling air gradually causing our skin to prickle where it wasn't in contact with the other person.

"We should probably get some sleep," I reluctantly suggest.

"We need a shower first, but yes. Early start after all."

I become aware of how sticky certain parts of me have become. And the layers of sweat that had built up and dried. My hair is still a bit damp from it too. The smell of sex is fresh and strong, all over us and soaking into the bedsheets.

"I think you might be right Ted." I tilt my head up and peck a kiss on his jaw, extricate myself from the embrace, and climb off the bed on unsteady legs. I turn back to him, and offer an upturned hand. "Lets get clean and sleep in my bed. We've ruined yours."

He grasps it, enclosing its smallness, and rises. After a peek out the door to make sure there isn't anybody watching, we step together to the bathroom across the landing, watched distastefully by the cat who appears not to have moved.