My Wife Dates A Senator

We sat at a table with my in-laws. Mom was every bit as gracious as she ever was, but Dad started off the evening a little standoffish. I understood it, but he gradually warmed up as the evening went on.

I think I surprised Cheri with my ability to dance. Hester always liked dancing, and I learned so I could make her happy. Cheri had some ability, as well, on the fast dances, and on the slow ones she molded herself to me like we had been a couple for years. I definitely liked the feeling of her body hard up against mine.

I got a soft kiss on the lips and her phone number when I walked Cheri to the door at the end of the evening. I would definitely owe my in-laws extra time with the grandkids.

I waited three days before I called Cheri and asked for a date. She accepted for the next Friday night at one of the best Italian restaurants in the city, followed by an evening art show at a local gallery.

Cheri dressed sexier for the date than she did for the Christmas party, and I was measurably more impressed. We had another great time. We went out three more times before I figured it was time for me to meet her eight-year-old daughter, and her to meet my pair. We spent several hours playing miniature golf, then had a picnic at a local park. I thought it went well. The two girls, in particular, bonded extremely well, although my son wasn't nearly as thrilled, as I expected. After all, he was at that age where all girls had "cooties."

Cheri and I saw each other several times each week. When I had my two, we did family things that included all five of us. Things were good until just a few weeks into the new school year when I got a rare call from Hester.

"I don't know what your scag girlfriend has been teaching my kids, but your son was in the principal's office today for fighting and his face looks like he lost. He's got three days detention, and all he's telling me is that it started with this 'Monique' girl he keeps calling his sister," she yelled at me through the phone.

"First off, you of all people don't get to call my girlfriend a scag, you slut. As for Nate, I'll be over after dinner to take him out for some ice cream. How about not panicking until we find out what happened."

I heard her huff before she disconnected.

I picked up Nate after dinner and we hit a small mom and pop ice cream shop. I gave him a good going-over visually when he got in my car. He had a cut lip and a scrape along the left side of his face.

"You should see the other guy, Dad," he joked.

"How about the truth, Nathan Abraham?" I said.

He winced when I used both his first and middle names completely.

"Some boy was picking on Mo, Dad. I told him to stop picking on my sister. He swung first, then I clocked him real good. They told me I broke his nose. It made a big crack sound and blood went everywhere when I hit it."

I could tell he was trying not to grin. The boy picking on Mo was two years older than Nate.

"When I talk to Mo, is she going to tell me the same story?" I asked.

"Absolutely, Dad. I wouldn't have hit the guy, but he swung first. I was just defending Mo. You always tell me that I have to watch over Elise, so I figured the same applied to Mo. She's awfully little, Dad," Nate said.

"She is, Nate, and you did the right thing," I said, trying, but not succeeding to keep the pride out of my voice.

Monique did take after her mother with her petite size. She was at least half a head shorter than almost everybody else in her grade. Also, I had always told Nate that it was his job to look after his sister. I guess he considered Monique family now. That was interesting. Sometimes the innocence of youth is smarter than the wisdom of age.

"I'm proud of you for standing up for Mo, but you can't tell anyone at the school that I said so," I said. "I will talk to the principal and see what I can do.

"You might want to explain about Mo to your mother. Apparently, you and Elise haven't been keeping her too up to date about my life... for which I'm grateful, by the way. But it might be better if it comes from you and Elise," I said.

My seven-year-old understood completely. Kids grow up so fast these days.

"By the way, Dad, when are you and Cheri going to get married. You know she's great, don't you?"

Like I said, they grow up fast. He was right, too. I needed to put a ring on that woman's finger.

I did call the principal the next day. The school had a zero-tolerance policy on fighting, even if a student was defending himself or herself. However, it also a zero-tolerance policy against bullying, so the offender wound up getting a total of six days detention after witnesses were interviewed.

I didn't agree with the policy, but I told Nate to take his detention like a man. I also told him that he was right, and I would ask Cheri to marry me as soon as I could, which meant as soon as I could buy the ring.

I guess the shit hit the fan when Hester found out that Cheri was Mom's PA, and that Mom had set up the first date.

"What the fuck, Mom? You're supposed to be on my side!" Hess had screamed at her after she found out, Mom told me later.

"There is no 'your' side," Mom answered. "He's never coming back to you. You screwed that up royally. So why waste a good man? Cherilynn's a good woman and a great friend. She deserves a good man like Reggie."

The scream that came from Hess was horrific, Mom said, as she related the story.

While both of my kids liked Cheri, my daughter in particular seemed to really like the way she cared for me. It was Cheri's nature to try to please me in almost everything she did, making me feel like I truly was the king of my castle. Naturally, that spurred me on to treat her like my queen. Elise really seemed to get a charge out of Cheri and I almost trying to outdo each other in our love for the other.

"I'm not sure if you guys are adorable or sickening," Elise told me one day. "But I really like being around to try to figure it out."

Our three kids, my parents and my former in-laws were the only guests at our small wedding a couple of months later. The clerk of the court who performed the ceremony was more than a little surprised that my former mother-in-law stood up for Cheri as her maid of honor.

"It's really a long story," I chuckled when she inquired.

******

"Nobody expects the Spanish inquisition" is a line from the old British comedy troupe, Monty Python's Flying Circus. Well, to be truthful, nobody expects an inquisition from a federal marshal, either. I was completely taken by surprise when two such officers walked into my office on a Monday morning.

Apparently the feds weren't too happy that a certain former senator got his ass kicked and his nuts crushed in the bathroom of some fancy-ass restaurant in Houston, TX. My name, and that of several other cuckolded husbands, were on the list of possible suspects. I explained to both that my alibi included being home with my wife and three kids several hundred miles away from the crime scene.

"But I can't say I'm sorry to hear about the senator's problems. Nobody, and I mean that sincerely, deserves it more," I said to the very unhappy marshals.

"You do realize that the stupid prick fucked my then-wife almost four years ago. If I was going to do something, don't you think I would have done it well before now?" I asked in my most sarcastic tone.

Getting the third degree from the feds was just the beginning, though. A week later, some reporter from the Associated Press was in my office, wanting me to rehash the whole date thing. Seems he had somehow gotten his hands on a "confidential" list of 26 women the senator apparently dallied with during his eight years in office.

By this point, several people knew about Hester's date with the senator, although I certainly never advertised it. Hester probably told more people than I through the years, as she was certainly proud of her accomplishment. I had to wonder how proud she was, however, when the story about the senator's attack broke, and she was named as one of his paramours.

"Why did you tell that guy?" she practically screamed at me when I answered the phone.

"I didn't. He told me you were on the senator's list. All I did was confirm the truth of your name on the list. I wasn't going to lie to save your ass from embarrassment, slut."

"I am not a slut!" she screamed at me before I disconnected the call.

I have to admit I chuckled.

I also have to admit I considered taking a long vacation out of town at the time the article hit the papers. She fucked up--literally--but I was going to pay an embarrassing price as well.

Cheri talked me down off that ledge, so to speak.

"Don't try to fight with anybody. Go with the truth. She cheated. You divorced her. Walk away," Cheri said.

Unfortunately, my kids were going to be the victim of verbal bullying for the rest of their school careers. We would be discussing the fact that their mother was a selfish cheater for years to come.

I also felt pretty bad for my former in-laws, who had by this point had become very close friends of ours. We brought the two of them over to stay with us at the house we had bought for a couple of weeks after the article hit the papers. They mostly stayed in the house and didn't answer their phones.

"I love her, you know how it is when you've got kids, but I'm so embarrassed that my little girl thought it would be acceptable to play slut for a day," Dad said. "Nobody wants his little girl to be that woman."

The notoriety eventually died down and life, as it was, returned to normal. Gradually, my kids began to spend more time with Cheri, Mo and me at our house. It was nothing formal, but things just seemed to morph into our house becoming the place where the neighborhood kids gathered. Hess bitched at me at first, but I think Mom kind of greased the skids on that a bit. I also made sure that Elise and Nate kept the lines of communication with Hess wide open, so she couldn't bitch that I was stealing her kids. Again, having Mom and Dad over a lot eased the way, I think.

The kids and I hardly talked about Hester when they were with me. She would always be their mother, but she was an ex in my life, and they also didn't want to upset Cheri, whom they quickly took to calling Mom as Mo naturally did. I know Hess's folks cringed a bit when they first started calling Cheri Mom, but since they were close to Cheri before we married, the cringing soon stopped.

With everything going on in my life and the lives of my family members, I didn't pay any attention to what was happening in Hess's life. I knew she dated intermittently from what the kids said, but I was surprised when Elise announced one afternoon that her mother was engaged. I was hit with a wave of sadness... for what could have been. Then I felt a comforting pair of arms encircle my chest... and my sadness quickly changed to elation... for what I now had.