My Wife has a Secret

"Homeless men would just put some cash in my hand, and then climb between my legs. In the dark, I didn't even bother to look at what they paid me, and I didn't care, I was always so drunk. I hated myself so much." Susie cried.

I just sat there completely stunned, what could I say?

"Planned Parenthood helped me with several abortions during those rough times," Susie admitted.

I was just 'blown away' and completely shocked. The love of life was the lowest form of stinky slut, street walking, homeless fucking, prostitute. She has been betraying me by going back every few months for the 5 years we have been married to do more BBC gang bang videos.

"Before I go into the other room and eat a bullet, do you have anything else to say for yourself, Susie?" I whisper.

"Please Jimmy, Please Sweetheart, even if you can't forgive me, and I don't blame you if you can't, PLEASE PLEASE don't hurt yourself. I am not worth it." Susie cried.

"Sue, you have just taken EVERYTHING in my life away from me. My whole life has been a joke. My happy marriage has been a lie. My faithful wife that I cherished all my life is a lowlife, homeless-fucking, stinking whore. I have NOTHING, I have lost everything. I have NOTHING to live for. NOTHING!" sobbing powerfully and uncontrollably.

Susie held me while we both cried, sobbing out of control. I was defeated by life and ALL of our dreams suddenly crashing and burning.

"What can I do? What can I do? What can I do?" I have lost everything.

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"Jim, please, please Honey, forgive me. I would never have gone back to do more porn and get more black cock if I didn't need the Big Black Cock so bad. I am sorry Honey, so very very very sorry that I am NOT worthy of you. Please do NOT hurt yourself. Think of our children, they love you and they need you growing up." Susie cries.

We continued just holding each other. I felt so confused, so empty. I just wanted to die to end the pain that completely gripped me with emptiness and defeat. I knew that I had to leave, to think, by myself.

I got up, grabbed my hat, went to the garage, jumped into my truck, and left without saying another word.

Driving around aimlessly, I just needed a chance to think. What can I do? What should I do? How can I deal with losing EVERYTHING that I hold dear in my life?

I drove and drove trying to think. My eyes were so full of tears that I couldn't see. Eventually, I stopped at a Denny's to get some coffee, before I had an accident. It was Friday night, but still relatively early and slow. Sitting at the counter, my waitress named 'Flo' kept my coffee cup refilled.

"Anything else that I can get for you, Hon?" Flo said.

"Maybe a reason to keep on living," I whispered.

She left when I said that, checking on her other customers, and soon returned to sit down next to me to talk.

"I am so sorry, that you feel that way. What happened? Your wife isn't cheating on you, is she?" she asked.

"Pretty much, Flo, but even worse than that. She and I grew up together before she went to Southern Cal. for college. Flunked out, became a prostitute, and has made a dozen black porno movies. She has even flown back down South several times a year to do more BBC porn since we've been married." I cried.

"You, poor thing. I've never heard such an awful story." Flo whispered.

"I don't know what to do, Flo!" I cried.

"I am so sorry Hon. I would recommend that you ask The Lord for help. Then ask yourself, if your life is better with her in it, or without her in your life. I know this is hard to live with such betrayal. But we are all only human. We all make mistakes." Flo explained.

What Flo said, really made sense. But I still had to think and ponder about how I felt and what I could 'live with'.

"Thank you, Flo, I appreciate your kind and thoughtful words," I said.

Several groups of people came in about then for dinner and Flo got busy so I got up and threw a $20 on the counter and left to drive around some more.

I finally just happened to drive by the old 49er bar, that I used to enjoy going to. I haven't been there for ages. I wonder how Alex Jr. is doing. I park and go in and sit at the bar.

"Hey Jim, good to see you! Haven't seen you in a while," said Alex.

"Same here Alex. I haven't been over this way in a while. I will have some Johnny Walker, Black Label, on the rocks. Please, Alex," I replied.

"Top shelf Scotch, the good stuff," Alex said with a smile.

It was very quiet in the 49er bar for a Friday night. Alex eventually wandered back over to me to chat.

"Alex, it sure seems quiet in here for a Friday night. What is going on?" I asked.

"Ever since the commies in the City Council decided to protect us from ourselves, by outlawing smoking inside any business, including bars, people have stopped coming in so much. Who wants to drink and not smoke? Unless you want to get up and go outside, it is just ridiculous now." he said.

"Yes, I can see that, hardly anyone is here on a Friday night," I said.

"So aren't you married Jim? Where is your wife tonight? Why isn't she with you?" Alex asks me.

"Well, Alex, to tell the truth. We had a big dust-up tonight. I recently found out that she has done porn before we got married. And even worse than that, she has continued doing it every few months, behind my back, since we have been married. I can't live with that. I don't know what to do." I said.

"I don't know what to tell you, Jimmy. I know that you love her with all your heart. That it nearly killed you when she left for college. The only suggestion, that I can think of that might help is that we are all human, and we all make mistakes." Alex said quietly.

"Thanks, Alex. I know that is true. I have certainly made my share." I said.

"I bet you don't know this, when my Father ran this bar, years ago, and I went to college, I went to Southern California for school also. I even did a little porn in those days some 20 years ago, now. Those were the days." Alex admitted with a smile.

"Really? I never would have guessed." I smiled.

"Yeah, it isn't what it looks like in the videos. It is a lot of work. Especially for the guys trying to keep a hard-on for so long, and then trying to cum for a happy ending. LOL" Alex Jr. said quietly

"Really? That's hard to do, huh?" I asked.

"Especially for the guys. Some of the greats were able to do it, but most had to have some other women do all the work sucking to get the guys hard again for each scene." Alex Jr. confided.

"Yeah, that sounds awful." I joked back at him.

"You would think that after filming a porno all day, it would just be an orgy the rest of the night. But most of the women in porn are all married or lezzies and they just look at doing the sex scenes just as the work that it is."

explained Alex.

"Really?" I said as I sat in amazement.

"When the filming stops all the women usually disappear home pretty quickly, probably to make dinner for their family. There is almost no after-hours sexual stuff that continues with the other actors." Alex said seriously.

"Really? Almost like a 9 to 5 then, you are saying, Alex?" I asked with a smile.

"I did porn for almost 2 years, just to make some extra money to live on. The whole time doing it, I was never able to get a date with any of the women I spent the day having sex with. LOL," Alex explained.

"Wow, so unsociable then? That is a surprise." I said in shock.

"So, if you are upset with your wife doing porn. Just ask yourself, is your life better with her in your life now, or would it be better without her? Like when she was living down there before you got married. I still remember how you came in here all those times before she came back. You were so lonely." Alex spoke seriously.

About then, some other folks came into the bar. Several couples laughing and carrying on. I finished my Scotch and decided to give my folks a call, as I left the bar. It wasn't that late yet.

"Hello," said my Dad.

"Hey Pop, I have a personal problem. Have you got a few minutes to chat?" I asked.

"No Problem, Jim. Come on by, we are just doing the dishes at the moment, and then we will probably see what Detective Show or Western is on METV." Dad said.

"I will be over shortly, I am not very far away at the moment," I said, putting my truck in gear, and proceeding north on Bascom Avenue from the 49er.

The door was unlocked and the porch light was on when I got to my folk's house in Santa Clara. My folks were both in the kitchen, but I wanted to just talk to my Dad about my problem. Mom excused herself and went to get comfortable watching TV.

"Dad, I just don't know what to do! I am so torn up! I just found out that Susie is a black cock whore! That she has still been going back to Southern Cal. several times a year to do porn and she has even been doing black gang bangs. I can't live with that Dad, but I can't live without her Dad. What should I do?" I cried.

"Son, No One is perfect. No One. Sometimes in life, we have to compromise to be able to do or have, what we really want." Then Dad speaks up so Mom can him in the other room. "Dear, will come here for a moment please?"

Mom comes into the kitchen where we are sitting drinking coffee at the kitchen table. "Yes, Dear?" Mom says.

"Show your Son, your big tattoo, please," Dad says.

Without saying a word, my sweet precious Mother looks into my eyes, brazenly opens her bathrobe, unbuttons her Pajama top, and pulls out her full DD left breast, to show me. I was never so shocked in my whole life. My Mother has a big Black Spade tattooed on her left breast almost 6 inches tall, with an interior area not tattooed in the shape of a Q.

"Wow, Mom, I never knew you ever had a tattoo before. Does it mean something?" I asked.

"Thank you, I will explain to our son." My Father said.

My mother buttoned up her top, closed her bathrobe, and left the room with a wiggle. I wondered why I blushed but she didn't. Curious, I thought.

"Son, we never told you about our sex lives when we were younger, mostly because it was none of your business, plus being our child and all. But we were not the squares you probably thought we were, all of our lives." My Father started.

"OK," I gulped fearing I was about to learn more than I expected about my parents.

"Back before I was a plumber, back in the 70s when I first got back from Nam, it was a different world then. There were topless bars on almost every corner in those days." Dad began.

"Between the 'free love' movement, all the hippies smoking dope everywhere, young women wearing see-thru blouses all the time and all of us guys returning home from Vietnam, things were much different," Dad said slowly.

"Yes, it sounds like it," I whispered.

"When I met your Mother, she was a topless waitress and nude dancer at a little bar on Saratoga Avenue called the 'Ore-house'. It was a unique place in that ALL the women were topless ALL the time, and ALL of them were absolutely the most beautiful women you have ever seen! It was an amazing bar to go to." Dad explained.

"When they weren't dancing naked on the bar, they wore these unique g-string contraptions that were held on with spring tension between their public bone and tailbone. It was fairly unusual that it only just covered their pussies. But during the evening during certain songs, all the women would take them off, climb on the bar, and dance completely naked." Dad continued.

"WOW," I whispered in shock.

"So one day, I just happened to be in the area, and remembered what some of my buddies talking about this place and there it was! Once you paid the cover charge, you would go through this heavy curtain. It was weird because it was so dark inside, but by the time your eyes adjusted to the darkness, there would be a beautiful naked woman standing right in front of you. She would offer you a cold draft beer for a dollar." Dad said.

"Wow," is all I could say again, imagining that scene.

"The first time I went and that happened, the woman offering me the beer, was your beautiful future Mother, that you know and love. I immediately fell in lust with her and knew I had to have her for my own. I began to stop by every day during her shift and try to make small talk and get to know her." Dad explained.

"OK," I smiled.

"I kept trying to get her to go out on a date with me, go to dinner, know her schedule, find out everything that I could about her. But one day she admitted that she had a boyfriend already and that I should be very careful because her boyfriend had just back from Nam. I told her that I had just returned myself." Dad explained quietly.

"So one night, I hung around until closing, still trying to put 'the make' on her. The owner let the dancers out one at a time and would walk them to their cars if they were by themselves. The owner 'Stan' had got to know me by then and had been considering hiring me as a bouncer." Dad continued.

"Anyway, he let your Mom out to wait for her boyfriend, and she stood on the curb while I kept her company, which gave us a chance to chat," Dad explained.

"Bar closed at 2 am, and it was going on 3 am and he wasn't there to pick her up yet. I just about had her talked into going home with me when this big 'pimped-out' Caddy pulled up. This big Black man driving stopped right in front of us and gave me the 'stink eye' as your Mom ran around and got in the passenger side."

"He didn't say anything that time. But the next night the same thing happened and he was late again. I got your Mom to promise to come home with me if he wasn't there by 3 am. So I was anxiously watching the time. chatting up your Mom-to-be, and learning everything I could about her."

"It was 3 am and time to go, I escorted your, Mom, to my Stingray, and was almost in the driver's seat when he pulled up beside me and got out. He was irate with your Mom because she was about to leave with me. Hollered at her, in a very disrespectful way, to get in his vehicle." Dad said.

"I turned around and met him between the cars. He drew back his arm like he was going to slap your Mom and I dropped him on the spot. With one punch. I wanted him to remember me, so I kicked him a couple of times in the nuts. Just then a police cruiser pulled up and a couple of officers got out." Dad continued.

"I explained that I had just prevented this dancer from the club, from being assaulted by the black gentleman. The first police officer asked your Mom if that was true. She said it was, so they handcuffed him, called a tow truck for his vehicle, and asked your Mom a bunch of questions. Even when she said she wasn't going to bother pressing charges, they took him in any way."

"I took your Mom to her ex-boyfriend's home and she collected what she wanted and took her home with me. Your Mom continued to dance topless, but he never came back. Since I was now the bouncer, I was ready for him, if he showed back up." explained my Dad.

"So, you were over in Nam, Dad? What did you do?" I asked.

"I was a Marine, I did Long Range Recon usually by myself or with a very small unit. I was also a Navy Seal for a couple of years, but I didn't really enjoy it as much as I thought I would. So I did a lateral transfer into the Marines." Dad explained.

"Wow, so wow. I had no idea, that you were such a Badass, Dad." I said.

"Well, it isn't something a guy likes to talk about. Now, what can I tell you about how to handle your situation, son? First of all, from what you tell me, you are crushed because your wife fucks black men, does porn, and it hurts your feelings. Right?" Dad asked.

"Yes, pretty much," I admitted.

"OK, here is the thing. Everybody makes mistakes. Sometimes faced with the situation, someone that we love will make a decision we don't like. That doesn't mean that they don't love you. It just seemed to be the best decision for them, from their point of view, at the time." Dad explained.

"OK," I said.

"Next, you need to understand that many white women, in our society, today, are enamored with the 'naughtiness' or the 'perverse' nature of fucking a black man because it goes against everything that they were taught by their parents growing up." Dad continues to explain.

"Sometimes teenagers just have to 'rebel' against everything, doing the opposite of what their parents have told them. It doesn't mean that the black men are any better or bigger than the white man. It is just what is in the head of the woman we are talking about, that makes the difference."

"So, Dad, are you saying that Black men are just the same as white men, more or less? That it is just that Black men are taboo, that makes them so attractive to white women?" I asked, trying to understand my Dad's point.

"Basically, that is correct son. Sure, a lot of times you will find more attitude in some guys than others. It doesn't necessarily have to do with their skin color. It just is a matter of their point of view. Sometimes, you just need to have a little chat with your wife's boyfriend and explain how things are going to be." Dad explained.

"But, Dad, I am not a Navy Seal or a Recon Marine. What do I do then?" I asked.

"Sometimes, Son, with women, it is just a matter of attitude and compromise if possible. If you can reach a compromise with your wife, not drawing such a hardline, wanting to divorce her just because she needs to have black cock to orgasm. Maybe you can find a way that you can compromise by adjusting your attitude. Always try to realize what you want more. Your wife with you, or not with you, permanently." Dad explained.

"So if I understand what you are trying to explain to me, that I shouldn't make such a big deal about my wife needing or desiring Black Cock. That it is only special in the woman's head. Otherwise, it really doesn't threaten our marriage as much as I fear. Is that correct, Dad?" I asked.

"Pretty much Son. And the other thing, about doing porn. How many guys do you know that wish that they have a hot, beautiful, woman, that is sexy enough to do porn? How many men, sit at home every night and jerk off to porn, wishing that they had a wife like yours? All of them! Stop being so crushed that your wife fucks on film, and be proud of it. Your Mother did porn as well. Though I doubt you could ever find it now, it was so long ago."

"Wow, I never thought about it that way Dad. Thanks so much for clarifying my thoughts and adjusting the mental pictures in my head. I should be proud to have a wife doing porn instead of being shocked, ashamed and outraged. Thanks, Dad!" I said as I got up to leave.

Walking towards the front door through the living room, I stopped and spoke to my mother again.

"Good Night Mom, Can I see your tattoo again, please.?" I asked.

Mom just smiles, opens up her top again, and shows me the most beautiful breast I have ever seen in my life.

"Thanks Mom, Good Night Folks!" I said.

I eagerly walked out the front door and headed home to my lovely wife. It was like a heavy burden was finally off my shoulders. I was feeling like a new man, now that I finally understood. I understand now, that I am going to have to compromise somehow.

A compromise deal with my wife so that we could both be happy. I understand that my Sweet wife has needs that can only be satisfied by a BBC pounding her tender sweet pussy. What if I want to continue to have all the access that I want to her pussy, I will have to let her have access to some BBC occasionally.

So my wife can get the BBC that she needs for her sexual release without going overboard and making me feel taken advantage of. If you stop to think about it, a week every three months or 16 weeks isn't that bad. Even then, will she be able to keep her word and stick to the deal? Only time will tell.