Naked Pizza Delivery Pt. 01

"Thank you so much for doing this, Ben," Tracy said as she uncoupled her car from the food truck. "I don't know what I would have done without you."

She gave me a hug, then hesitated.

"Are you sure you'll be alright with it blocking your driveway?"

"Sure, don't you worry. You've earned this time off, try not to think about it and enjoy yourself!"

It was a warm summer's evening and we were standing in my backyard. "Tracy's tasty toppings" was written in bold letters on the side of the food truck, with each "T" stylized in the shape of a slice of pizza. The converted camper was a fully stocked and functional kitchen, complete with a wood fire oven, which should be the only legal way to cook pizza. She had purchased it and started the business a year and a half ago, around the end of the pandemic, and this was the first vacation she'd taken since. She would be gone for two weeks, and during that time she couldn't leave the food cart in its usual spot. If I hadn't offered to store it in my driveway, Tracy would've had to find a paid and expensive place instead. Tracy got in her car and thanked me again, before driving off. I watched her car slowly heading up the road before returning to my backyard.

I immediately unlocked the food cart and climbed into it, firing up the oven. I knew how to operate the whole place, after all I'd helped Tracy on and off during her first 6 months. Back then, she couldn't afford to hire an extra hand, so I volunteered my time in exchange for the occasional free pizza. She was my best friend after all and it was the least I could do. As a 29 year old single software engineer, I had plenty of time and no shortage of energy in the evening. My day job wasn't very soliciting and I always had some side-projects going on.

While the oven got going, I swiftly prepared my two favorites: a clean pepperoni, and a vegetarian porcini mushroom and mozzarella. I soon realized I'd made a gross miscalculation. The day had been absolutely sweltering hot, and even though the sun was almost down, the warmth lingered. There was no breeze nor humidity in the air and I was soon sweating profusely.

My t-shirt came off first, but I soon got annoyed with the tickling of sweat drops around my crotch. I hesitated at the thought that came to me next, and stepped out of the food cart for a second to look around. The street and neighboring houses seemed dead quiet. I could only hear the distant sound of cars from the main road.

After all, I'm in my backyard, I can do whatever I want, I thought, loving the mischievous thought. Without further hesitation, I pulled off my pants and shorts and stood there naked in my flip flops. It felt absolutely amazing in ways I didn't expect. Feeling the air on my skin, along with the slight tightness in my chest - was it fear? Excitement? I wasn't sure. My dick was already stirring.

I was in pretty good shape since I worked out regularly, didn't drink much, and even played basketball with some of my friends every few weeks or so. My muscles were well-toned, though not crazy big, and I even had a hint of a six-pack. I was naturally hairless in most places, and I kept my pubic hair completely shaved for a clean look. I also liked how this made my penis's full length clearly visible, even when soft. At a decent 7 inches when fully erect, I wasn't self conscious about it, just thought it looked nice. I was aware of my member dangling as I climbed back into the food cart where the oven had reached the perfect temperature for pizza.

After shoving the ones I'd prepared into the back of the oven, I went out again, heading straight for my back porch. I grabbed a beer from my cooler and drank half of it in one gulp. I was so warm and parched from the heat. That's when I noticed a couple across from me out on the sidewalk, turning around and crossing the street to the other side. I realized they must have seen me there, naked and semi erect, and I blushed, embarrassed. To my surprise, this triggered a wave of arousal and my dick got even harder. The couple turned their heads, confirming they'd seen me, and I pretended not to notice, rushing back to the food cart. What a surprising feeling that was, a mix of humiliation and excitement. My hand was already stroking my penis which immediately hardened. I shook my head, and, noticing the pizzas were done, hurried to take them out of the oven.

A strange feeling came over me next as I took a few bites of pizza. The heat and the beer were making me light-headed, as did the arousal from being naked and seen. Thoughts about the food cart mixed in my head with the conversation I'd had with Tracy before she left, when she was telling me how hard it still was, 18 months in, to keep the business running and mildly profitable. A memory came, unbidden, from the last time I watched porn, when I stumbled over one of the many "naked pizza dare" videos on the internet. This swirling storm of random thoughts suddenly coalesced into one glorious idea. It was so simple, so great, that it took my breath away. I left my pizza there, half eaten, and went out again. I headed straight for my porch where I kept a standing desk and my laptop. I liked to work outside whenever possible.

For the next two hours, I worked in a frenzy, not even thinking about the fact that I was standing naked, in my backyard, in full view of all passersby. I didn't even realize that as night fell, I was even more exposed in the light of the porch. I just kept working, getting more and more aroused as I turned my idea into reality. When I finished, I laughed. This was so ridiculous, it was hilarious. I was driven in such a horny frenzy by the nakedness and the circumstances that I couldn't believe it.

On my screen I had the simple web page of a business tentatively called "Naked Pizza Delivery". The tagline said "we dare you to try it" and the whole website was a corny mess of innuendos next to images of nude body builders in coy positions, flexing their muscles while cleverly hiding away the naughty bits. I'd made sure to target some of the more common "pizza delivery" search engine keywords and had the page already indexed. I'd spent the last half hour setting up a delivery order form and getting it hooked up to an app commonly used by delivery companies to manage their orders.

"Oh shit!" I exclaimed, finally becoming aware again of my exposed situation. I grabbed my laptop, quickly fetched the rest of my pizza, and went inside my home where I collapsed on the couch. I was so horny that I started to masturbate right away. I enjoyed the rough feeling of the couch's texture on my naked body. My penis was dripping with pre-cum already and it was the perfect lubricant. Before long, I was moaning with pleasure, building up to a crushing orgasm.

However it wasn't meant to be. Just when I was about to burst, I was rudely interrupted by a notification sound that I'd never heard before. I would have ignored it, but when I quickly glanced toward my phone I spotted the logo of the order app I had installed.

"What? No way," I said, grabbing my phone with my clean hand.

I fumbled to get it unlocked and open the notification. To my surprise, it was an actual order. I stared at it. Is this for real? I quickly checked but found no reason to doubt it. The address was relatively near - I deliberately set up a very small delivery area - the contact details of the person seemed legit. They wanted three large pizzas. The clock was already ticking on my delivery app.

I jumped to my feet and rushed outside and into the food cart once again. The oven was still warm and I quickly stoked the fire to get it burning at the right temperature again. I prepared the pizzas and within ten minutes, I had them cooking in the oven. While I waited, the reality of what was about to happen dawned on me. I thought about getting dressed but I didn't want to chicken out of this now. Besides, I was genuinely curious if this would work. Getting to the delivery location was no problem. I still had my vespa complete with my old pizza delivery box from my days of helping Tracy out. The difficulty was the nakedness. Before setting up the website, I did research whether something like this would even be legal and had found, to my surprise, that it was.

Where I lived, public nudity was not explicitly prohibited. Only indecent exposure would get me in trouble, but that was narrowly defined as committing a sex act in public. Simply being naked didn't count. Ironically, if the nakedness was somehow part of a commercial activity, then it was even more protected. While this seemed to be true, I still didn't want to have to explain it all to some policeman while naked on my vespa. On the other hand, getting dressed and only undressing at my destination wasn't a solution either - it would take too long, and I did have firm quality standards regarding the pizzas. Pizza was a serious business and I would never want to deliver it cold or sub-par in any other way. That, to me, would be more embarrassing than my exposure and public nudity.

I soon found a perfect solution: Tracy had a terrible, corny apron that she'd bought in Venice, where she also learned how to cook Italian. It had a picture of Michelangelo's David on the front, making it look as if the wearer was as naked and perfect as the statue. If you know it, you know what I mean. I put on the apron and immediately got aroused at the humiliating image I would present to my new customers. My dick even pushed against the flimsy material, making a tent in it. It was a delicious embarrassment. I took three perfectly cooked pizzas out of the oven and packed them in some of the old pizza boxes I still had in my house from the early days of Tracy's business. I didn't want to risk spoiling her brand with my activities that night. I then loaded them in my delivery box and straddled the vespa.

The feeling of the leather seat against my naked bottom was maddening. The material also pushed against my balls and I had to adjust their position. I couldn't believe I was about to do this. As reality hit me, my chest tightened with real fear. It was the moment of truth. I started the engine, placed my phone in the special slot where I could see the directions to my delivery location, and drove away.

As soon as I went out into the street, I started to regret my idea with the apron. It turned out that it was hard to keep the damn thing in place as the nightly breeze, and draft from my speed, hit me. At the same time, I was enjoying the coolness of the air on my naked skin immensely. I was also very aware that anyone seeing me from the right angle would instantly be able to tell that I was wearing nothing under the apron. Making matters worse was my boner, which kept poking against the fabric making it rise. Once or twice the lower half of the apron was completely blown away, streaming behind me, until I reached a stop light and got it under control. This earned me a few honks from the other participants in traffic. Whether any pedestrians had noticed me, I couldn't tell. I was in a very confused mental state while also focusing on the road and my directions.

It felt like the drive took forever even though it was more like ten minutes. I reached my destination which turned out to be another sleepy, residential neighborhood. My customers lived in a house that looked the same as all the other houses on their block. I looked around after I turned my engine off, and there didn't seem to be anyone walking along the street. I could hear sounds telling me that some people were out in their backyards, and I was sure there were at least a few out on this side, on their porches, but I couldn't see them, my eyes not used to the dark. I took a deep breath and untied my apron. I laid it down on the front of the vespa. I was now once again completely naked in a public space. I got up and walked to the delivery box, pulling the pizzas out. I quickly double checked the address and number again, to make sure I wasn't in the wrong place, then walked up the stairs to the door of the house. There I was, in the nude, still sporting a mostly full erection, about to ring the bell. There was a tightness in my chest from fear and excitement. I wasn't breathing and felt light-headed as I raised my hand. I rang the bell.

I almost took off then and there. It was sheer willpower that kept me rooted to the spot, my body electric with fear. I almost whimpered when I saw the shadow of multiple people approaching the door from the other side through its small window. I heard someone call:

"Yo, guys, they're here!"

The door opened. I stood naked in front of a group of what looked like some college-age students. There were four boys and two girls, all crowding in a narrow hallway. Several of them had their phones out and appeared to be filming. As the lights from inside the house spilled out onto the porch, they fell on my nudity. The group lost it.

"Yo, they were for real," someone screamed as the others broke down in reactions alternating between laughter, astonishment, and averting their eyes in shame. My penis instantly hardened, twitching, and my mouth was half-open from the fear and arousal. I shook myself out of that state, before I started drooling in front of these people, and surprised myself saying in what sounded like a cheerful voice:

"Your naked pizza delivery has arrived!"

"Fuck yeah!" I heard, as I handed the pile of pizza boxes to the nearest person. A thin guy with a long face, wearing an unbuttoned Hawaiian shirt and shorts took them from me.

I stood there, waiting to be paid, trying to adopt a confident, relaxed pose, hands to the side, never attempting to find any part of my nakedness. The guy who took the pizzas handed them over to someone else in the back, and started to fumble around his pants, pretending to look for cash.

"Have you been doing this a long time?" I heard someone ask.

"Yeah!" I lied. "It's been a while now." I hoped I sounded confident.

"That's sick!"

"Do you get many orders?"

"Oh, the pizzas are flying out of the oven faster than we can make them!"

That part was true, this was a very inefficient operation. By myself, I couldn't have kept this business running.

"What's it like to be running all over the place naked?" I heard.

"Oh, it's pure freedom baby," I said, giving them my most winning smile.

"Dude your boner is like a flagpole!"

They laughed. I didn't look down. I was so ashamed of myself and it felt amazing. Finally someone handed me some cash and I thanked them without counting it.

"Thank you for your order and please reach out anytime you're up for some naked pizza!" I said, waving goodbye.

They almost fell over laughing as I walked away. My dick was hard as a rock as I got back on my vespa. I wanted to take care of it then and there but as I picked up my apron I noticed additional notifications on my phone's screen. I opened them and stared, dumbstruck. Three more orders had come in, ten pizzas in total. Without bothering to tie my apron, I drove off in a mad rush. It was flying all over the place, exposing me all the way back to my house, but I didn't care. I was already way behind on time. Fortunately, traffic was sparse at this time, it was already past 10pm, and I soon made it home. I went back inside the food truck and counted the minutes while getting the order done. It took me way longer than it should, but there was nothing to it. Soon I was back on my vespa, driving toward the next location.

When I reached the next customer, I was already at least 15 minutes late. The pizza, however - prosciutto e funghi - was fresh and delicious and I hoped it would make up for the delay. This time, I stopped in front of a tall building. It must have been ten stories high. I hadn't had much time to consider my nakedness in the rush of getting there, but once I stopped my engine I spotted my next challenge. At the entrance of the building, several men were standing or sitting around the stairs leading up to it, drinking, smoking and chatting in low voices. I swallowed hard, a knot of fear in my throat. I considered keeping my apron on, and taking it off once I reached my customer's apartment, but that somehow felt like cheating. These people were paying for an experience. I felt that it included my humiliation and embarrassment before I ever reached them. I should be flushed and aroused by the time I knocked on their door. I decided this in the instant that I got off the vespa and, with only the briefest hesitation, I took off the apron as I had done before. Without looking at them, I felt the eyes of the men lock onto me as I did so. I tried to act nonchalant as I walked to my delivery box and pulled out the customer's order. I then turned toward the building and approached the group.

"What the hell is going on here?" one of the men asked as I came up to them.

"Good evening to you, good sirs," I said, trying to sound calm. My stomach was a churn of nerves and my penis was growing visibly. I had no control over it. "I apologize for startling you, I have a naked pizza delivery for someone in your building."

"What the hell is a naked pizza delivery?" asked the largest of the guys through an impressive bushy mustache.

"I'm glad you asked," I said, and handed him a little calling card. I had printed these while working on the website. It had the name on it, a phone, and the URL. "We deliver great pizzas with the taste of your choice and a bit of thrill on top. We aim to please and tease."

"Look, boy," one of the men said, getting up, "I don't know if this is some joke but you can't run around like that."

"Oh, sir, believe me, I thought the same. I get this all the time." I pointed at the calling card. "But if you will check our website, we have all the information there - what we do is legal and permitted."

"Ah," another guy said. He was in his 40s, tall and thin, with a receding hairline and the distinct appearance of an accountant. "He's actually right. We do have that loophole in the law."

The others turned to stare at him. I couldn't believe my luck. Could this be the confirmation I needed that I had interpreted the law correctly?

"Yes, well, the loophole allows public nudity as long as, or especially if, it's part of some commercial activity. We always meant to amend it, but didn't as we always thought nobody would be dumb enough to make use of it!"

We all stared at him for a few seconds and then the others burst out laughing.

"Classic sloppy lawmaking," someone said and:

"I bet I could guess who put that in," said another.

These guys must be working for the district or the mayor or something like that, clearly. How lucky! I cleared my throat:

"Thank you so much for that confirmation," I said. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have a Mr. Burns who must be eagerly waiting for his pizza."

To my surprise, they burst out into even louder laughter at this.

"Burns! I should have known!" one of them said.

"Enjoy your delivery, boy," said another. "Maybe you can hire him if you need more staff. I wouldn't mind if he took his proclivities elsewhere, I'll tell you that."

I left them there, taking this ominous warning with me, as I entered the building. I felt the cool stones of the entrance hallway beneath my naked feet, and I was full of adrenaline from the exchange. My dick was back to its fully erect state as well as I entered the elevator and pressed the button to the 5th floor. I felt another current of fear and arousal pass through me at the thought of finding someone waiting for the cabin once I got there. The doors opened, but the hallway seemed deserted. I walked over toward the door with the right number. Before I even reached it, I heard the familiar sound of a key turning in its lock, and the door opened. A man stepped outside, short, middle aged, half-bald. He was a little on the pudgy side, and had a leering grin. I swallowed hard. He was as naked as I was.