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What neither he nor anyone at the ceremony knew was that at the exact moment that mom said "I do", vowing to be my wife forever, she had conceived.
How disappointing it must have been for him when the contest management handed mom a check for $40,000. When he asked for it for 'safekeeping', mom laughed.
Mom: "Mal, you squandered all of our money gambling with that mob guy who had loan-sharked your deal on the Laundromat mortgages. Between gambling and that homely shapeless secretary of yours, you pretty much ruined our marriage. So, now, this check will pay off the banks; the Laundromats will be in my name again. Well, they will for a moment before I transfer them to Jimmy. I'm transferring all of our marital assets, which is to say MY assets, to Jimmy for safekeeping. He's strong and I feel safe with them in his hands."
Epilogue:
It would be all too predictable if we learned that everybody lived happily ever after. That WAS true for mom and me. Mom gave birth to our first. She said it was so painless and easy, the OB-GYN said mom's body was made for giving birth. We took her up on that. Before mom turned 50, we had made our own legion of ten babies. I just couldn't resist my gorgeous new wife. I was always welcome to enter her very fertile and totally unprotected womb. As a result, we were outputting babies on an industrial basis for a while. We had to add on to our house with a nursery, then another. For a while, all you would hear when you entered our home was the sweet call of the babies' bawling. Some men disliked the sound, but to me it was sexy; it reflected a lot of pleasure, something about potent sperm from a virile man and his lover's fertile womb.
I am afraid the clichéd script of the happy Hollywood ending did not pertain to mom's 'old man'. It seems that the same local crime figure that took his bets by the 'dime' load and collected all of those losses had lost his patience over that mortgage loan some time back. It was a pity, really. I never figured out how they could get repaid after they did what they did.
Fortunately, they never came after us. Just to be safe, we sold the Laundromats at a small profit and hightailed it out of that area. We only had the first baby with us when we left, having the rest of the big brood under Sky country. It was ironic that the life insurance policy, with double indemnity, that he had lavished upon himself in his own egotistical way now paved the way to our paradise. It was nice out West, and nobody knew we were not only husband and wife, but mother and son...nobody.
