Never Enough

He was asleep in the playpen she had in her living room for her child and didn't stir as I carried him back to my house.

Alicia was quiet as she held out her arms asking for Mikey.

"It's not fair, you should have told me he was next door. I could've spent some time with him when he was awake."

"Right. It's not fair. Of course, we do have the little issue of you not telling me when you were going to be home."

"I was mad at you. You and that slut were rude when I called your show."

"That's another thing. Don't call my show like that. I don't like surprises and we should always be on the same page. We're supposed to be husband and wife."

"She lied, Boyd. I'm not the lead on the case."

"Time will tell, won't it? I'm going to bed."

*****

"Ever hear of James Anderson?" Dana asked me the next afternoon.

She stopped me in the parking garage as I walked to my car after the show. I felt like Deep Throat with Woodward and Bernstein.

"No, should I have?" I answered.

"He's the best behavior analyst in the country. He's worked on almost every high-profile jury trial in the last three years."

"And?"

"And my source tells me David Bridges just hired him to be a jury consultant for him."

"So?"

"So, what's your wife needed for then?"

"What are you trying to do here, Dana? Seriously. Are you trying to drive a wedge between me and my wife?"

She shrugged and said, "I'm just asking questions, Boyd. It's what I do."

"Then ask someone else and put that in your fucking story."

I opened my door, got in, and slammed it shut. Which hit my shoulder making me yelp in pain. Real smooth.

She laughed and waved as I drove away. I noticed her shimmering nude stockings in my rear-view mirror.

At six o'clock, I gave Mikey his dinner and made myself a sandwich from the leftover roast, and it was pretty good. Alicia was late again, and once again, I didn't get a text or a call.

An hour later, she burst in through the garage door.

"I'm sorry. I got tied up and couldn't call."

"When did you get tied up?" I asked.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, you weren't physically restrained, right? You were in a meeting with other lawyers, or you were reading some law book. At any point during those scenarios, you could have picked up your phone and sent me a text."

"Boyd, I said I was sorry."

"Sorry doesn't cut it this time, Alicia. You should spend time with your son before I put him to bed."

I walked out of the room and headed toward my basement mancave. I expected her to follow me with little Mikey, but she didn't. It disappointed me because I was riled up and looking forward to the fight.

At half-time of the Thursday Night Football game, I went to the kitchen to get a bottle of water. In reality, I was doing some recon on my wife.

She was eating ice cream and reading something on her tablet, when she realized I was there and looked up.

"We need to talk about this, Boyd."

"Nothing to talk about. You went back to work, and you've fallen right back into your old issues. Hell, if you're not lying to me, you're only supposed to be working on jury selection prep."

She looked away, and for the first time, didn't deny she was lying about her level of involvement.

I continued, "Well, that's it then. I'm not going to play second fiddle to your job again. I'll update the divorce papers and will refile this week."

"Damn it, Boyd! We will not be divorcing. I keep telling you this isn't like before."

"Right. Two days on the job and you're two for two with being late and not calling. Seems like déjà vu to me."

"It's just the beginning. You'll see it'll be different. I have a lot of catching up to do for the case."

"Catching up on what? You're supposed to be consulting them on how to pick jurors."

"You don't understand, Boyd. A lot goes into it."

"Yeah? Whatever."

I turned and walked away. She rushed in front of me and put her hand on my chest.

"I promise, it won't be like before."

"Prove it."

She pulled me into a hug and started sobbing. Like a fool, I decided to give her a chance.

It lasted three days.

*****

It was a lovely Sunday morning, and I was playing peek-a-boo with Mikey when she walked into the room.

"I have to go into the office for a few hours. I'll be home by noon."

"What about church and breakfast, like we do every week," I asked, and she missed the attitude in my voice.

"We'll go to lunch instead. We can go to that Mexican place we like in the Arboretum."

"I'll meet you there at noon," I said, daring her to be late.

She kissed Mikey, then me, said goodbye and walked out of the room.

I looked at Mikey and said, "Well, kiddo, what are going to do, huh?" He giggled and I went back to our game.

At noon, I sat in the restaurant with Mikey and ordered a quesadilla appetizer and a Sprite. Mikey happily chewed those little puffs that melted in his mouth.

Twelve-thirty came, and the waitress asked, "Any word from your other party or would you like to order?"

"No, just the check please. My little one is getting antsy."

The restaurant was packed and there were a lot of people waiting. I could tell they wanted me out of there.

She smiled and patted my shoulder, "I understand antsy little ones. I've got three of my own."

She walked away, and my phone rang. I ignored Alicia's call, so she sent a text that read, "I'm on my way. I'll be there in a half-hour."

"Seriously, Mikey?" I groaned. "What am I going to do with her?" Not surprisingly, he didn't answer.

I typed my response, "I won't be."

I shut off my phone, paid the check, and got Mikey loaded up for the walk to the car.

It was time for action. I couldn't keep letting her lie to me and effectively walk all over me. She was not going to make me out to be the fool I was the first time.

Of course, the difference was Mikey, but I was sure I could get custody of him with her shitty work schedule.

A few minutes later, I walked through my kitchen and dropped my keys on the table. I set Mikey on the floor and like a wind-up car, he took off towards the family room where his toys were. The house phone rang as I followed him, and I ignored it.

He loved being in his playpen, and when he made his way into the family room, he pulled himself up on its netting.

"Well, someone wants to play in their baby jail, huh? Okay, buddy."

As I set him in, the phone rang again.

"Mommy's gonna be mad, isn't she?" I asked. He giggled and grabbed his see and say.

"Mikey, someone a long time ago said, 'never interfere with your enemy when they are making a mistake.' Mommy keeps making mistakes."

All I heard from him was the see and say going, "The cow says, moo."

"Have fun, buddy," I said before tickling his side, eliciting a round of laughter. For some reason I thought of Robert Plant shouting, "Does anybody remember laughter?" I made a mental note to listen to some Zepplin later.

I opened a beer, sat on the couch near my son, then turned on my cell phone. I had several voicemails from my wife and deleted them without listening. I was sure she'd be repeating herself when she walked through the door. There were a couple of texts from Dana Collins telling me that we needed to talk ASAP. I ignored those as well, of course.

It took her a half-hour, and I was on my second beer when she walked through the kitchen. I noticed her hair was pulled into a ponytail, which was a change from that morning.

I held up my hand to stop her from the shouting that was clearly headed my way.

"Mikey's asleep."

I nodded to the playpen where he was snoring like an angel.

"He should be in his crib."

I agreed and let her take him to his bedroom. As she did that, I got into my car and headed to the cigar lounge.

Yeah, I know. I was a pussy for running away from the fight, but in my mind, the fight was unnecessary at that point. My marriage was all but over. She chose work over us.

*****

I was reading an article on Bridges with my back to the door when I heard a voice from behind, "You're not a hard man to find, Boyd."

"If I was trying to hide, Dana, I wouldn't be here."

She walked in front of me to one of the leather chairs on the other side of a small table.

"Have you had this one?" she asked and showed me her choice of cigar. It was a good choice.

"No, but it's highly rated."

"Yeah, that's what Nick said."

Nick owned the lounge and was always quick with a recommendation. Especially for a beautiful woman. That would explain how she got into the locked private lounge.

Dana borrowed my lighter and caught me when I checked out her legs. Bare for a change, they still looked amazing. She must have recently put on lotion because they were shiny and wet looking.

"You're too easy, Boyd," she teased and crossed her legs the other way.

I took a long pull off my cigar and rudely blew the smoke at her.

"What do you want, Dana? I'm trying to relax here."

She frowned for a moment and her eyes were saddened before she said, "I've got some bad news. This is going to be our front-page headline tomorrow, but I wanted to tell you personally before the shit hits the fan."

She slid her phone across the table and smirked when I looked down her blouse.

"What am I looking for?"

"The video is cued up. Just take a look."

She took a puff off of her cigar and coughed. I was stopped in the middle of my laugh when I played the video on her phone. It was my wife and David Bridges kissing in an office.

I tossed the phone onto the table and sat back.

"I'm sorry, Boyd. I really am, but it gets worse."

"Why would you be sorry? You've got the story of the year and since when do you care about the collateral damage?"

"It's never been this close to me," she whispered.

I sighed, "Do you know what the worst of all this is?"

She shook her head, as I tried not to shed tears. I had to look away.

"It didn't even take that asshole a week to get to her."

"He's having affairs with the other two women on his legal team as well."

I shrugged my shoulders and took another puff.

"Like that matters. I was going for divorce anyway. This just eliminates any chance of taking her back."

A smile flashed, then quickly faded across Dana's face. I guess she would enjoy the breakdown of my marriage. She must have thought it set me up for her to slide in and comfort my broken heart.

"Send me that video please."

"I can't do that, Boyd. The story hasn't..."

"Fuck your story!" I shouted and slammed my hand down onto the table. "It's my fucking marriage."

I stood and waved a silent apology to the few guys in the room.

"Okay," she said backing down without a fight. "Just don't go public with it."

I snorted.

I walked over to my locker and pulled out a bottle of MacCallan 25-year-old single malt. If there was ever a time I needed a drink, that was it.

I poured two healthy glasses and sat back down. Dana took one of the glasses without asking, and I relit my cigar.

"Thanks," she said after taking a sip. I could tell she didn't drink much scotch the way she tried to hide her wince.

"I honestly never thought she'd cheat on me. I always thought she wouldn't risk her reputation like that."

"It's him, you know. He's a well-known pussy hound. We could just never get any hard evidence."

"No, it's on her. For her to fuck him in his office within a week? No, she was looking for it. How did you get that video anyway?"

"Well, it's a felony to have a camera installed like that, so we'll say it wasn't me, okay? Let's just say it was an anonymous source and leave it at that."

Her grin betrayed her words, but I wasn't going to push the subject.

"Sure, whatever."

I turned on my phone to save the video to the cloud and I got a text from Alicia.

"You need to come home so we can talk."

I groaned and typed, "No need to talk. We're through. You can fuck Bridges all you want now. Have fun with the press tomorrow."

I turned the phone off and watched Dana throw her head back and take a long puff of the cigar. There was something sexy about a woman smoking a cigar. Not as sexy as her legs, but still.

"The wife?" she asked.

I nodded and sipped my scotch. I said, "I told her good luck with the press tomorrow."

"She's going to think you came to me with the story."

"I'm sure you'll testify that I wasn't your anonymous source."

"Tomorrow is going to be a shitshow for you," she warned.

"Yeah, I know. I'm fucked any way you slice it, so I'll just do what I do every day--chew bubblegum and kick ass."

"And you're all out of bubblegum?"

"Look at you knowing crappy 80's movies."

She laughed and said, "It's a cult classic, man."

After another hour of small talk, my cigar was done. If I thought she would do it, I'd have gotten us a couple more, just so I could keep stealing looks at her, but it was time to go.

"Buckle up, Boyd, and I did mean it when I said I was sorry. You're a good guy and don't deserve this."

"Yeah, well, it is what it is. I'll talk to ya later I guess."

I decided to go to a hotel. I didn't want to deal with my soon-to-be ex-wife until I absolutely had to, and I figured that would be the next day when the shit hit the fan.

*****

I woke up at six and turned on the news. The shitshow had begun and it was on every channel.

I made a cup of shitty hotel coffee and started the shower. I had stopped at the store and picked up some clothes and toiletries for my hotel stay. I had no idea if I'd go home, or if so when, so I prepared for a week.

The hot water felt good, even without decent water pressure, but it didn't matter--shitty water pressure was the least of my problems.

After the shower, I turned on my phone and ignored all of the texts. I sent a text to Rose, "No live show today for me. Get a guest host or play a recorded show."

She replied, "I saw the news. For what it's worth, I'm sorry."

The phone rang, and of course it was Alicia. I ignored it and turned up the volume on the television.

The anchor said, "We have some breaking news. Following up on The Times' report about David Bridges having an affair with his lawyer, Alicia Taylor, video has been released. We warn you this is graphic."

I watched the video of them kissing and him feeling up her breasts. They cut it after that, thankfully, and the co-anchor said, "This contradicts Governor Bridges' statement that nothing romantic happened between him and his lawyer. We've reached out to Alicia Taylor for comment but haven't received a reply."

I decided to read the texts and see exactly what my wife's excuses were.

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm not having sex with David."

"Stop being an ass and come home."

Then the ones from the next morning sung a different tune.

"It's a lie. We're not having an affair."

"Boyd, please call me."

"I swear to you, it's a lie. I love you."

She must've been watching TV because the next text read, "We just kissed. That's all and it was a mistake."

I shook my head and responded to that one.

"I know there's more on that video. You're busted, and we are through."

She called over and over again. I turned the ringer off and watched the pundits opine about Bridges and his many alleged affairs. Surprisingly, they focused more on him than my soon-to-be ex which was sort of a relief. I figured the less her name was mentioned, the less mine would be.

I checked my voicemail and there were several from Alicia, but the rest were the news stations looking for me to comment. For a split-second, I thought about getting on one of the shows, so they'd have my comment and leave me alone, but I knew better. In the long run, I was better off staying silent.

I did what all the wronged husbands did and split our assets, cancelled joint credit cards, and arranged with my lawyer for the papers to be updated and filed. I went for full custody due to her never being home anymore.

He was sure I had as good a shot as any at getting at least primary custody in a joint arrangement and thought the evidence of the affair would be able to be used to avoid counseling, or timing requirements if it were irreconcilable differences.

I wasn't feeling good, necessarily, but I was feeling content that I put the finishing touches on my lie of a marriage. It was obvious she loved the job more than me, and it was more than obvious she didn't love me enough to not cheat on me. Good riddance.

I pulled up the security system at home on my phone and saw she was sitting on the couch with a sleeping Mikey and crying. The thing was, I didn't know if she was crying over me and the loss of our marriage, or the shit show she made out of her blessed career.

One of the things I tried to figure out was a way I could get some revenge on Bridges. There was plenty of public humiliation, and whatever his wife was going to do to him, but none of that came from me. I felt like I had to do something to keep my man-card.

Ultimately, I shook it off as being a dumb idea. He had a security entourage and there was no way I could get to him. Even if I could, they'd to get me eventually and either shoot me or kick the shit out of me. I'd just have to live with the karma's plans for him. Maybe, he'd end up with Alicia. That'll teach him.

*****

The next day brought more of the same except I had to do my show. Rose was her normal self, and it wasn't too crazy around the office. Unless you counted the twenty reporters standing in front of my building. The entrance from the secure parking garage allowed me to avoid them and get to my office unscathed.

Rose said, "Boyd, your buddy at The Times says he'll keep your name out of the articles if you let Dana come on the show again."

I threw my arms up and groaned, "Are you kidding me? What the hell is the difference? Jesus, her being on the show is probably worse. I can't have her on and not talk about her story."

"How were you going to avoid talking about it anyway? It's the biggest story of the year."

"It's my show. I can and don't talk about whatever I want."

"Sure," she said with an eye roll. "Until the sponsors get upset that you're being a pussy."

She was right, of course. I got calls from the syndication company and sometimes directly from the sponsors if the bug up their but was irritated enough. Such was life on the radio.

"Fine, Dana can come on, but tell her to be nice. I have a long memory."

"Oh, if given the chance, she'll be really nice to you, Boyd."

She laughed and walked away.

It was trouble having Dana on the show. I couldn't control the narrative, and I certainly couldn't control her reporter's black tongue. She'd push me and dance around the topic of my wife until I'd indirectly given her the answer to every question I didn't want to answer.

An hour later, I slid the headphones over my ears and watched Dana smile as she did the same. The only difference was she crossed her legs which slid the bottom of her skirt up another couple of inches, and I wasn't wearing a skirt.

I saw the legal pad in front of her and asked, "Is that a list of questions?"

She let out a cute giggle and said, "Of course not. I wouldn't dare come on your show with a list of questions."

I saw Rose start the countdown to airtime and Dana continued, "Besides, I know way more than you. I don't have any interest in you any longer. Well, professionally, that is."

"...three, two, one."

The intro music started, and I let out a deep breath.

"...and good afternoon, radioland," I began. "It's your handsome host, Boyd Baxter, and joining me in the studio today is Dana Collins from The Times. How's it going today, Dana?"

"Great. Thanks for having me on, Boyd."

"It's always a pleasure. So, Congress is in shambles as usual. Any insight into what's going on with our favorite monkeys trying to figure out how to pass a budget?"