New Beginnings

It was both a seachange and a career change for Megan as she moved up the coast to a regional city away from friends and memories. Five years before she had been deliriously happy- wife to Matt, a carpenter who worshipped the ground on which she walked and mother to Ellie, a carefree five-year-old who loved singing and dancing and baby Ted whose smile lit up the room and made everyone smile back in return. She taught violin to a small group of children from the studio Matt had built in their back yard and was contemplating returning to the stage in the city orchestra she had taken indefinite maternity leave from. It all shattered when Matt was driving Ellie to ballet one Saturday morning with Ted also in the backseat and they were t-boned by a drunk driver killing the three of them instantly.

Megan spent six months wallowing in grief before a friend from her orchestra introduced her to a grief counsellor who helped her start seeing light. She returned to the orchestra, but her heart was not in it. Her home was not the same, so she sold up and with the proceeds and Matt's life insurance decided to travel and try and work out how to reinvent herself. At 29 she discovered that travel was not all she had imagined. The men she met all wanted one thing and intimacy was the furthest thing from Megan's mind. It was in a small pub in rural England where Megan met Jill, a nurse from her home state. Jill had taken a holiday while her boyfriend studied for his medical exams. In two weeks they had travelled to the tip of Scotland and Megan had decided that she too would study to become a nurse.

Megan kept in touch with Jill throughout her studies and even travelled to Jill's hometown for a placement. It was no surprise given Megan's nurturing nature she was a natural nurse and was offered several positions once she graduated. With Jill's encouragement she moved upstate to her new life. Jill, and her now husband Brad, were the only two to know about Megan's past and Megan aimed to keep it that way. She yearned for Matt's touch and to play with her children at the park and kiss them as they lay asleep at night, but that life was gone.

Ten months into her graduate year and Megan was gaining a reputation as an inciteful, caring nurse and received commendations from patients and those with whom she worked. There was a fulfilment in her life that had been missing since the accident. She was used to being asked by her older patients if she had a husband and would always reply 'A very handsome gentleman, yes!' however the question always brought a tear to her eye and brought up memories that still caused pain.

Trainee doctors rotated throughout her ward. Some showed immense potential, some got on people's nerves. One such doctor was Will. Will was incredibly smart and had an air of arrogance. He appeared not to acknowledge nurses when they brought concerns about their patients to him and made them feel that they were not being valued when in reality Will's brain was working at a thousand miles per hour. Megan had had a string of stressful shifts with one patient deteriorating shift by shift and no one knowing what the mystery illness was that ailed him. She was holding onto the thought of a weekend off- a concert that evening in the park by a visiting orchestra, the annual medical ball the following night and a day off to recover and prepare herself for her next string of shifts. Towards the end of her shift she confronted Will with her concerns about her patient. As usual he brushed her off. Infuriated she approached her team leader who listened and counselled her that Will would be gone from the ward in a couple of weeks and she would pass these concerns onto Dr Brown, the consultant and Will's boss.

Megan had not tried to make friends in her new hometown. She had Jill and Brad and was not ready to open up to anyone else. She did not mind that she was heading along to a concert by herself and was rather relieved as she did not know how her emotions would play out knowing the final piece on the program was Albinoni's Adagio, the piece she had played at Matt, Ellie and Ted's funeral. Megan was surprised to see the crowd at the concert when she arrived twenty minutes before start time. She had walked down from her apartment with a picnic blanket and some cheese and crackers to enjoy whilst listening to the music. She found a spot under a tree where she laid out her blanket ensuring she was surrounded by singles and couples away from the families who had gathered for the music.

It was a perfect Summer evening and the sun was setting over the amphitheatre as the music was about to start. Megan had laid herself out on her blanket and was reading the program for the evening with her sunglasses on and sunhat covering her face when she heard a slight cough.

"Um, excuse me, Miss, would you mind if I moved your blanket slightly to sit here, it's more crowded than I was expecting?"

Megan recognised the voice and her heart dropped. She looked up and removed her glasses.

"Dr Will," she sighed, "No, that would be fine."

It took Will a few seconds to realise who she was. A sundress, hair down and sunglasses was not how he was used to seeing the nurses from work.

"I'm sorry, but I can't remember your name, but I think you are Brad and Jill's friend." Will stumbled out, his usual charm escaping him.

Fortunately, the orchestra started tuning up so there was no need for further conversation. The sound of the tuning took Megan back to her past life. She began thinking of Matt and a tear escaped down her cheek. A Mozart symphony started the program. Megan was impressed at the interpretation, especially the slow movement. At the interval she had forgotten she was basically sharing a blanket with Will. The murmuring of the crowd brought Megan back to the present.

"I was just going to grab a drink, Megan, can I get you a something?" Will asked.

Megan replied that she was fine thank you and had brought her water. As Will walked away she caught sight of his shapely butt as he brushed grass off it. She scolded herself for thinking anything about another man, let alone one who didn't respect nurses. Studying the program, Megan realised that a former colleague, Russell, was playing with the second violins. She knew she would have to seek him out after the show. She did not notice Will return to the blanket until an ice-cream was placed in front of her face.

"Megan, I owe you an apology and whilst I wouldn't normally talk shop outside of work, I brushed you off this afternoon when you indeed held the missing piece of the puzzle to room 17s illness. Dr Brown has severely chastised me." Will looked as though he had been rehearsing that speech in his head for hours.

"Thank goodness you have some answers for him, Will, I have been worrying for days about him." Megan replied as she accepted the ice-cream.

Will was perplexed. He was used to nurses telling him off or angling for a date with him and here was one who was simply concerned with her patient. As they ate their ice-creams. Will told Megan about how he had studied music at school and the Mozart symphony was one he analysed for his final exams and whilst he still enjoyed it, he could still hear Miss Crips yelling over the recording when they came to poignant parts of the movement. Megan started giggling and told Will that she used to play in an orchestra. Megan was surprised when Will explained that he too had played the violin and throughout his studies he played with the university orchestra. They talked about music until the orchestra returned to the stage. Megan enjoyed having someone to talk to other than Jill and she assumed that as her team leader had told her she would only have to put up with Will's behaviour on the ward for another couple of weeks.

Finally, the Adagio for Strings started. Megan was not expecting the emotional onslaught to hit her as it did. After a couple of minutes, she felt a hand on her arm and was passed a folded white handkerchief. She dried her eyes and looked over at Will who simply smiled at her. As the crowd cheered at the end of the program she thanked Will and told him she would wash and iron the hanky and get it back to him. Not knowing very much of her past at all, Will told her that would not be necessary and he understood how music can bring out emotions we have kept hidden for ages.

As she folded her blanket and was preparing to say goodbye to Will and try and find Russell to say hello, Megan was surprised to find Dr Brown and his wife walking towards them.

"Well what a surprise!" he exclaimed, "I told you to apologise to Megan this afternoon however I am now very pleased to see the two of you out together! What a fine couple you make too- Megan is the smartest nurse I have seen in a long time and she will keep you in line and I believe your care and concern you show for patients, which again you try and keep hidden from others will complement Megan's. But enough of that, how good was that Adagio?"

Will tried to make clear to the senior doctor and his wife that this was definitely not a date and Megan simply excused herself and said she had to catch up with an old friend. The truth was she was so embarrassed that anyone should think she and Will were at the concert together that she wanted to get home as soon as possible. As soon as she walked in the door of her apartment she dissolved in tears and messaged Jill, telling her she could not go to the ball the following night.

Saturday morning and there was a knock at the door. Jill had not slept a lot. She told herself it was the emotions of the music bringing up her past and kept thinking of Matt. In her head she smiled at the physical memories of Matt- the goofy smile, the crooked front tooth, the hair that was so curly he kept it super short and of course his gorgeous bum. She had met Matt when he was removing a wall at the rehearsal space the orchestra used. Having broken up with a bassoonist when he chose to move overseas to further his career, she had not dated for several months however with Matt it was almost love at first sight. Matt's van had parked in Megan's car and when she found him to ask him to move it he said he would only move it if she agreed to dinner with him. Dinner turned into a walk which turned into them both at Megan's flat and a night of lovemaking that shook Megan's world. They were married seven months later and two years later Ellie was born. Matt was a devoted husband and father and both he and Megan complemented each other. Since his death, Megan had not dreamt of being with anyone else and now at 35 years of age she was convinced she would soon be bringing in cats to keep her company.

Megan opened the door to Jill armed with coffee and croissants. Jill learnt of the antics of the day before at work and Dr Brown's comments after the concert and could not stop laughing.

"You know, Megan, Matt is dead and from what you have told me he would hate to see you lonely." Jill told her friend.

It was similar to what her counsellor had told her just before her big move. Be open to new people and possibilities. What Megan and Matt had was gone and learning to love again did not mean that what Megan and Matt had had was not special.

"But Will!" Megan gasped, "He's such a jerk!"

Jill told Megan that she was surprised Will had made it to the concert as he stayed late at work to ensure everything was in place for the patient in Room 17. Jill told Megan of the soft side to Will that he hated people seeing. Stories abounded from Brad about how Will was the doctor who would sit with patients as they were dying and how he would call the junior doctors on the weekend to enquire how his patients were doing. Megan and Jill chatted for hours about Will with Megan detailing all the reasons a relationship would not work out- he hated nurses (well perhaps he didn't really!), he was several years younger than Megan (well maybe, but perhaps that would not matter) and the big one- Megan had a past life that although was not part of her present, it was a large part of who she once was. In the end Jill left Megan to sleep for a few hours and told her that she and Brad would be picking her up at 6.30pm for the ball.

Megan showered and washed her hair. She moisturised her skin and straightened her hair, clipping one side back with the same silver clip she had worn for her wedding. A light application of make-up accentuated her strong cheekbones and the mascara brought out her long eyelashes and deep blue eyes. She put on a pair of lace briefs and a matching strapless bra that added to her cleavage and shimmied the magenta silk dress over her shoulders. Silver heels complemented the ensemble. Megan looked in the mirror and thought about how Matt would love how she looked. A knock at the door broke her from her trance. It was Brad and Jill, both of whom gushed over how amazing she looked.

The ballroom was decorated with flowers and fairy lights and looked ethereal. Megan knew quite a few people there and was able to make small talk. The champagne flowed and although Megan did not often drink she found her glass was regularly topped up. At dinner, Jill advised her to slow down, but Megan felt the buzz and wanted more. She had not seen Will at the ball and was not even aware if he was attending. The band started up and Megan dragged Jill to the dancefloor. Megan received so much attention from the men on the floor- they all wanted to dance with her. Somehow, she was separated from Jill and one man, who Megan thought looked like a gnome because of his short and stout stature convinced Megan to head to his table to have some more to drink. Megan found herself surrounded by men who were all dripping off her every slurred word. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Will. He looked amazing in his tuxedo. Whereas many of the men had chosen to wear a lounge suit and tie, Will had gone all out.

"Willy, Willy, Willy!" Megan shouted as she threw her arms around him, "Come and join the fun, theshe boysh have got me plashtered! I haven't had thish mush fun since Matt."

"Oh, Megan, I think you've had enough fun for tonight, how about I get you home." Will tried to extract Megan's arms from his neck.

"Yesh pleashe, Willy, take me home and make me forget about Matt."

Will had no idea who Matt was. He tried to find Jill and Brad but could not see them amongst the crowd. He looked in Megan's purse and found her address on her licence. As soon as Megan hit the fresh air outside she started to vomit. She vomited all through Will's shoes. No taxi would take them in Megan's intoxicated state, so Will carried her the four blocks to her apartment. Will carried Megan up the stairs to her floor and found her keys. She opened her door and placed Megan on the couch. As he was fetching a glass of water for Megan he heard her phone ring.

"Jilly Beans! I'm home with Willy but I don't think I'll fuck him becaushe I shpewed in his shoesh and I'm..." Megan did not finish the sentence before she vomited again. Will took the phone from Megan and assured Jill she was fine, and he was going to put her to bed. Will removed Megan's shoes and slipped her dress over her head. He smiled at her curves and thought that although she looked stunning in her dress, in her underwear she looked even better! Will grabbed a towel and cloth from the bathroom and with warm water washed her face. Megan was out of it and did not notice any of this. She did not notice Will pick her up and place her in bed in the recovery position with a large glass of water on the nightstand and a bucket next to bed should it be required. He looked at the photo of Megan and Matt on their wedding day next to the bed and assumed Matt had deserted her. On his way out in the lounge he saw photos of children and assumed they were Megan's niece and nephew. He thought of leaving a note but did not know what to say. He knew he had feelings for Megan, but he had no idea who Matt was and how long he had been off the scene. He left and went for a long walk along the waterfront.

Megan woke up with a huge headache. She saw a bucket had been left next to her bed and was immediately grateful as she emptied the last of the contents of her stomach into it. She looked at the time- 11am. She messaged Jill and thanked her for getting her home safely.

"I owe you one, Jill- I can't remember past dancing with that gnome but I assume you brought me home- I can't remember the last time I drank, and I don't think I'll be drinking again in a while!"

"Megsy, it wasn't me, but your doctor in shining armour and you may owe him a new pair of shoes after chundering in them!"

"Oh Jill, please apologise to Brad and yes, I'll get him new shoes."

Megan felt awful. She went into the lounge room where she could smell the aroma of stale vomit even thought there was no evidence of it- Brad must have cleaned it up she thought, I really do owe him. She made herself a coffee and flicked on the classical music radio station. It was the Mozart symphony and it took her back to Friday night's concert. Megan had no recollection of Will being at the ball and definitely no recollection of how she got home. Again, she reached for her phone.

"Megs, it wasn't Brad who took you home either! This apology might take more than an ice-cream at a concert!"

Megan's heart dropped. How had she behaved in front of Will? Then the realisation- Will had been inside her home, inside her bedroom and tucked her into bed in her underwear. There was no recollection of what she had talked about either- had she let slip about her past?

The afternoon was spent resting however Megan decided to bake a chocolate cake to take to work in case she required an apology to some of her colleagues for her behaviour. Monday morning and Megan began to feel 'normal' again. She arrived a good twenty minutes before her shift and placed the cake in the staff room. A couple of colleagues commented that Megan appeared to have lots of fun at the ball.

It was not until later in the morning when she saw Will with Dr Brown doing rounds. Room 17 had had a remarkable improvement over the weekend and his family was so happy when the doctors arrived. Will was quick to tell the family that it was because of the wonderful nurse that they finally got the bottom of things. Megan was beet red and Dr Brown gave a very knowing smile.

As she returned from lunch, Megan saw Will leaving the ward.

"Um, Will, I think, I, er, owe you an apology for the ball. I don't remember getting home and I think you had something to do with it. I know an ice-cream won't cut it, but perhaps, I can find, um, someway, to, um, say, er, sorry and I need to buy you new shoes." Megan stammered.

"Don't worry about it, Megan." Will said. "I'm just glad you got home safely, and no one took advantage of you in your state."

Megan rushed away, not wanting to add to the conversation. After work she and Jill went for a walk along the waterfront. Megan told her best friend about the conversation with Will and how it was fairly clear he did not want to meet up for an apology. Jill listened and planned her intervention.

At home on Monday evening Megan's phone beeped.

"Megs, I'm working Tuesday and Wednesday night, post night shift how about we meet up and do the rainforest walk and go for a swim Thursday?"

"Jill, are you sure? You are usually knackered post nights!"

"Certain- the weather is meant to be perfect- I'll meet you at the bottom carpark at 8am- bring your swimmers!"

Megan contemplated calling in sick on Tuesday and Wednesday, but she knew she could not avoid Will. There was less than two weeks until he left the ward anyway. Megan would not say she avoided him at work, but she did not go out of her way to see him either. She found other doctors to rechart medications and when she saw them coming on ward rounds made an excuse to have her morning tea or lunch break.