Nibblet Ch. 11bybadgirl298©
Angel sat on the edge of his bed, cradling his Italian loafers, brooding. He hadn't done this in a while and took him a half an hour or so to remember how to brood properly. He began to mutter to himself. "I can understand being upset with me. I can understand throwing me out of her room. Literally. But does she have to abuse my shoes?" He shook his head sadly. "Italian leather's not cheap." He held the left one up to the light. "Who knows how I'm going to get the scuff marks out . . ."
Cordelia stood in the doorway, unbeknownst to her boss, watching the conversation with barely controlled mirth. When the so-called 'dark avenger' began lightly stroking the shoe as if comforting it, she couldn't contain herself any longer. "Do I need to leave you two alone? I mean, I'm not interrupting anything am I?"
"Actually I had a whirlwind romance thing planned. Big seduction scene. Until you walked in and spoiled the mood." He looked longingly back at his shoes and his bare feet. "It's ok, one of us was bound to get cold feet eventually. Particularly since I left my socks next to the potted plant in the hallway."
Cordy clutched her sides in silent laughter, holding one hand up to signal that Angel should wait until she could catch her breath before continuing. She was still amazed at the funnier side of Angel. She walked in and sat down in one of the chairs near the bed. She smiled sympathetically. "Wanna tell me what happened?"
"Not really. No."
"Good. I don't really care. You're a freak and you deserve it for hanging out with Slayers when you're a vampire." She smiled brightly at him. There was no rancor in her statement, just the facts as she saw them. "Now. Let me tell you about my day."
She held up a bottle of extra strength aspirin in answer. "Here it is. Wesley, Gunn and I are going on vacation. You're paying because you're our boss. And you're staying here. Ok?"
Angel looked offended for a moment. "I'm not invited?"
"Well, no." She beamed, then moved to sit next to him. "You're going to stay here and play with the slayers. We're going to sit on the beach and drink things with umbrellas in the glasses. And you know why you're going to go along with this?"
"Because the Powers That Be have spoken. Now, run along and get your credit cards, shoo!" She made 'shoo-ing' gestures.
"The PTB want me to give you an all expense paid vacation?"
"No, the PTB want you left alone with a Slayer. I want a vacation." She didn't even look sheepish. Then she abruptly got up and left the room. He didn't bother asking where she was going. She was going to get his credit cards from the office. Of course, it wasn't until after she left to pack an hour later that he wondered which Slayer she meant.
Later on that day, Dawn held the phone against her ear."Giles?"
"This is he." He sounded annoyed in that oh-so-proper-and-formal British way of his.
"Anything nasty around? Big gooey demons or anything?"
"It's been remarkably quiet, Dawn. Uh. . .are things with you and Faith, er, going well?"
"Yes! Lots of training. Lots. Uh-huh."
"Splendid. And the new moves should. . .uh prove useful, yes?"
"Yes." She said brightly. "Everything is going well with you?"
"Just fine, Dawn. And I'm glad to hear that you've all settled in and this has been . . .productive. I'm a trifle busy at the moment. Can I ring you tomorrow?"
"Sure. Talk to you later, Giles."
"Of course. Have a good evening, Dawn." He hung up the phone. He turned back to the television screen. He picked up the bowl of buttered popcorn from the coffee table and used the remote to turn the volume up. PBS was showing Sense and Sensibility.
"That was too much fun." Faith declared, walking in the hotel and swinging her shopping bag. She had never been like most girls. Sure, she appreciated nice clothes but she hated shopping. Hated waiting in lines and trying things on. Somehow, the blond vampire at her side had made it less irritating.
"Especially when you're not paying for it." Spike agreed. He patted his own shopping bag. Inside, was a blue speedo earmarked for Dawn's viewing pleasure.
"Where have you two been?" Angel said, he stood framed in his office doorway, arms folded across his massive chest.
"Don't we look all manly and superheroish? Where's your tights, poof?"
"The dry cleaners." Angel said, deadpan. Both of their jaws dropped. "Kidding. Sense of humor now. Remember?"
"I don't know. Tights would highlight those well-defined calves of yours. Might be sexy." Dawn said, coming into the room. She was determined to see this thing through. She'd been able to provoke Spike before yesterday. Time to do it again. She walked over to Angel and balanced on her tiptoes to give him a thorough kiss. This was deeper than their others, much more convincing.
Angel smiled at her when the kiss was over and slowly released her arms, which he had been holding to support her. "Next time we play dress-up I'll wear them." He said loud enough for Faith and Spike to hear.
"You play dress up?" Spike screeched. "What kind of dress up? Playin' poofy house or what not. . .or y'know. . .dress-up." His eyes widened and his eyebrows lifted.
Angel's slow smile and sultry sweep of Dawn's body was unholy. Something Angelus would have done. "Usually we play doctor but everyone needs variety."
Faith was speechless for once. Who knew Angel could be spicy? She'd always thought his soul would preclude anything but vanilla.
Dawn snuggled up against Angel. She gave Spike a smug smile. "He's good at playing a wicked school master too." Somehow she managed not too blush.
Angel looked down at her in equal parts horror and curiosity. She knew he'd be interrogating her later.
Spike sputtered. "Well, that's. . .just. . ." He looked at Faith for help.
"Sick?" She offered.
"Yes, that's what I was going for." He looked at Angel and shook his finger. "Sick." Then he turned around and followed Faith up the stairs, clutching the bag with his speedo in it. He turned around once on the stairs to glare down at Angel. "Sick." He shook his head and bounded up the rest of the way.
Angel waited until they were out of earshot. "Where the hell. . .who the hell did that come from?"
"Wouldn't you like to know?" She rolled back on her heels and clapped her hands once. "So, how'd I do? Make with the praise. I should have been an actress."
"That was kind of sick."
"And you were thinking about it too, sicko. Now, what's next in our plan?"
"How come you never brought me here before?"
"Because you don't bring impressionable young girls to bars." Angel said, looking around at the large crowd nervously.
"Ooh! Does that mean you think I'm a woman?"
"No, it means I think you've already had an impression made on you." He muttered. "School masters, my fangs." His demeanor seemed to say "kids these days!"
"Get over it, Angel. I want a drink!" She stared at the bartender who was mixing some bloody, Bloody Marys. Then she turned to Angel. "Do they have a menu?"
"No. How about a Shirley Temple?"
She knew what that one was. What had Xander mentioned before. . . .? Oh yeah. "Or an Alabama Slammer?"
He glowered. "You're still under age."
"You were the one who brought me to a bar. Remember?" A demon bar at that. But at least there was no fighting here.
"What can I get you?" The bartender said, looking them over.
"I want a shot of blood."
"Angel!" She nudged him. "You need a drink."
"Alright, fine." His eyes held a glint of sin. "I'll have a Sex on the Beach."
"Very good sir. And you, miss?"
"I'll have a Sea Breeze."
"Do you have i.d., miss?"
"I'm a vampire."
"You want me to bite you?" Dawn asked, trying to look very threatening. "Cause I do that, y'know. I bite, I drink. . .stuff. Could be a human, could be alcohol. You never know." She tried to appear more evil.
"Now, I know you're not a vampire. You couldn't smell my blood. I'm not completely human, I'm half demon."
"You're right. But I'm all Slayer." She reached over and grabbed the man by the collar and pulled him off his feet. "Give me a drink and I won't bruise your face."
"Give the lady a drink, Todd. She may be young but she carries the weight of the world on her shoulders. " The Host said, coming up behind the bar."Put him down, please, sweetie." Dawn released the hapless bartender who scurried off to make her a drink. "Well, now. A vampire slayer and a vampire. Anyone else having deja vu?" He winked at Angel. "So, Angelfood, what's this cutie's name?"
Dawn spoke up. "My name is Dawn. You are. . .?"
"Lorne. Or The Host." He smiled as Todd handed her the drink. "Sea Breeze, huh? She has good taste." He tapped Angel's arm. "But she's with you so that's a given, huh?"
Dawn took this in very carefully. "Are you hitting on Angel?"
"Finally! Someone noticed." He looked pointedly at the clueless vampire. "Not that tall, dark and fangy here cares. Maybe you'll have more luck." He blew them both a kiss. "Ta, kiddies. Make sure to make your selections soon, the place is hoppin' tonight." He strutted away from them.
"Selections?" Dawn asked.
"Karaoke. We're going to sing."
"You sing?" She giggled. Then she sobered when he didn't crack a smile. "Oh, God, you're serious." She began to sweat a little, she hated her singing voice. "And you really know that green demon pretty well, don't you? You could do worse you know. Just think about it–"
"I don't want to, Dawn." Angel tossed back his drink. "Think of a song to sing."
"This is fun and all, but why?"
Angel began to fill her in on the Host's abilities.
"A demon karaoke bar. What'll they think of next?" Spike said. "Do you think they have those flowering onions?"
"I bet they do." Faith said, taking a table. "I can't imagine why Angel would come to this place. It seems so noisy and. . . filled with others. I know that he's chipper and all these days, but this has to be a little much for him."
"Who knows about the poof these days?" Spike offered. "He's up, he's down. He's laughing or. . .playing a school master."
"Please don't talk about that." Faith clutched her stomach. "I. . .yuck."
"I need a bleedin' beer."
"You're wish is my command."
Spike looked up to see a big green demon leering at him. "I don't do demons."
"You're almost exclusively into Slayers." Lorne smiled. "And yes you do, you big liar."
"How the bloody hell did you know that?"
"It's my job, blue eyes. " He put down a playlist for them both. "Sing for me and I can tell you more." He turned to Faith. "You too, gorgeous." Then he walked off to help his other patrons.
Angel downed another shot, there were three more in front of him. They had decided to get a table. "So, what are you going to sing?"
"Never heard of it."
"Don't worry, you will." Dawn finished the rest of her drink. She felt. . .mellow. She flagged down another waiter. "Another please!"
"Pace yourself." Angel warned.
"Uh-huh." She had no intention of following his advice. "What are you going to sing?"
"Don't you Forget about Me."
"I won't. But what are you going to sing?" She giggled and he rolled his eyes.
The waiter brought her another drink and another shot for Angel. Dawn drank hers down and snatched one of Angel's shots which she also drained. She felt decidedly giddy.
For his part, Angel was starting to feel the effects as well. He had never been much of a drinker. . .well, not for a couple of hundred years. He had a low tolerance now. "We gotta get ourselves out of this mess, princess." Actually, the idea was to get both women away from Spike but he doubted that she would be receptive to that.
"We will, Angel. Don't worry."
"Okay, now I'm worried." Faith said. She watched as Spike downed his fourth shot of tequila. He had graduated from beer to the harder stuff.
"Don't be, luv." He gave her a blurry smile. "I have a high tolerance. Comes from drinking myself silly on a yearly basis."
"Well, no. Not ever year. Only the ones when the poof takes my girlfriend. Which happens more often then you think."
"I see." She sipped her Corona.
"Drink more, luv. You gotta keep up the pace."
"Right. Because two drunk people is much more fun than one."
"Exactly! 'Sides, you might as well accept the inevitable. It's not like we're making much headway. Let's face it, he's going to get to Dawn and both of them will leave us out in the cold."
"I need another beer!" Faith said to a passing waiter.
"So, what are you going to sing, pet?"
"Bette Davis Eyes."
"But you don't have her eyes." He peered into her dark eyes. "Doesn't she have blue ones?" He shook his head. "Is she dead?"
"I don't know, Spike. What are you going to sing?"
"Punk Rock Girl."
"I see. And did you make that song up all by yourself?"
"No, a bunch of dead milkmen sing it."
"Oh-kay." She tipped her beer back and drained it. Hopefully, the alcohol would make her find the humor in the situation.
"Did you know that your hair sticks straight up?" Dawn asked, staring at Angel in wonder.
He touched his hair. "I thought you liked my hair."
"I do." She reached out and touched the springy hair at the top. "Don't you wish you could see yourself?"
He sighed. "Sometimes. I almost forget what I look like."
"Ooh! I know! I know! Come to the bathroom with me." She hiccuped.
"Uh, I can't go to the bathroom with you." Angel shook his muzzy head. The room was starting to swim. "I'm not a lady."
"I didn't say you were." She puffed out her bottom lip. "But I don't like to go alone. It's no fun that way. And. . .and I can point out what you look like while you stare in the mirror. It'll be just like you're seeing yourself."
"You would do that for me?"
"Uh-huh. Please, Angel?"
"Alright." She grabbed his hand and pulled him up to his feet. Then, they pushed their way to the back hallway. It lead to the 'little demon's room.'
She ducked her head inside. "Coast is clear, Angel." She walked in.
He snuck in behind her. Angel was amazed. "It's so . . .so. . .pink."
She snorted with laughter. "Most ladies bathrooms are."
"Oh." He wandered to the sink with it's huge mirror. Angel leaned over and stared into the silvery surface. "Mirror, mirror on the wall. Who's the handsome-est vampire of all?" He rose one eyebrow at the lack of response.
"You are! Next to Spike of course." Dawn cried from inside her stall. Angel jumped back from the mirror. She laughed at his expression when she stumbled out of the bathroom stall and went to the nearest sink to wash her hands.
"Not funny. This is a demon bar. Never know what could happen."
"You were scared. Admit it, weren't you? Weren't you?"
"Was not. Shut up!" He glared at her. "Now, let's get to the important stuff." He struck a pose. "What do I look like?"
She hopped up on the counter next to him. He looked into his non-reflection once more. A tentative hand stroked his hair. "Silky dark hair. Deep brown eyes." She ran her hand along his cheek. "Your skin is smooth and has a natural tan to it." He turned to face her. "Square chin and. . .and . . .a rose colored mouth." She brushed her fingertips across his mouth.
Angel's eyes flared and his hands reached for her.
"What are you doing in here!?!" A female Vroth demon screamed. "This is for females only!"
Angel looked the demon up and down from it's bumpy head to it's lumpy toes. "Yeah, well. Being female is kind of relative for you, isn't it?"
"Angel!"Dawn smacked his arm.
The demon whipped out it's poisonous tongue. Angel blinked. "Well that's disgusting! Put that away!" He shook his head. "Are you trying to make me sick? 'Cuz it's working."
"We were just leaving, ma'am." Dawn said, grabbing the large vampire's arm They ran out of the bathroom laughing like two naughty children.
When they got to their table, they both downed a celebratory drink. "You're up, big guy." The Host said, pointing to the stage. "And try not to stay up there too long. I don't want to lose too many customers."
Angel wobbled all the way to the stage, and clutched the microphone in his shaking hand. Everyone in the audience who heard him sing before, started to head for the door. The soulled vampire glared. "Hey, I haven't even begun yet!"
"He's gonna sing, luv. Cover your ears." Spike said, downing shot. "Bloody, bloody hell."
"You've heard him sing before?"
"In the shower." He nodded once.
"And you two never–"
"I'm no poof shagger, thank you very much."
"That's right. You're a wanna-be-key-licker."
"You wanna start somethin', missy? I'll take you down." He put up his 'dukes'.
"No, no. Don't start that." She took a swig from her beer. "I wanna hear Angel sing."
"No, you really don't, luv. Pay attention, this place is gonna clear out." They both leaned back in their chairs and watched as he began to sing.