Night Games Pt. 14

"I can picture every move that a man can make.

Getting lost in her lovin' is your first mistake.

Sundown, you better take care

if I find you been creepin' 'round my back stairs.

Sometimes I think it's a sin

when I feel like I'm winning when I'm losin' again."

-Gordon Lightfoot, "Sundown"

*

"So, here's the thing I don't understand about the end of 'Dark Knight Rises,' right." Nigel Mander told Contessa Helena de San Finzione as the two of them sat on opposite sides of her bed and field-stripped their guns. "A nuke's just gone off a few miles off Gotham's coast. Killing the fish, irradiating the water, and disrupting shipping for years to come. All the most dangerous psychos from Arkham and most rotten tossers from Blackgate are still out roaming the streets. Bane's destroyed all the bridges and the city's infrastructure will take decades to rebuild. This is the point at which Bruce Wayne goes 'Nah, Gotham no longer needs Batman. This shitshow's yours, Robin. I'm faking my death and retiring.'"

"What about the bit in the café after?" Helen asked. "I know we're calling back to Alfred's monologue from the beginning, but in the original scenario, he wasn't missing Bruce because he thought he was dead! Here, he thought Bruce had sacrificed himself to save Gotham right up until he sees him. His reaction to seeing him alive shouldn't be a raised glass and a sunny little Michael Caine 'allo moment. It should be a big explosive Michael Caine 'YOU'RE ONLY SUPPOSED TO BLOW THE BLOODY DOORS OFF' moment! Alfred should be all 'I THOUGHT YOU WERE BLOODY NUKED! 'OW THE BLAZES DID YOU SURVIVE THAT?' Sure, Alfred is probably used to thinking Bruce is dead, then turning out to be wrong. Still, he could've sent the old guy a fuckin' postcard. If I'd had to fake my death, Propappou would've gotten something!"

Helen had been glad to catch the tail end of Mander's conversation with Troy Equals about Batman and continue it with him after Troy had left to be escorted into position by the Ultimados. She'd gotten to see a lot of the people who mattered to her in the past few days. But with everything going on, Helen had felt that Mander had been "on duty" too much and was grateful that they were getting a moment before things were about to become serious again.

Helen tapped the Bluetooth earpiece she was wearing. Mander did the same. Having top secret clearance with San Finzione's government, all of her friends' phones had been secured by the Ministry of Intelligence. After a previous incident where Helen had been attacked and her friends were not able to reach Maria, the castle's security system also had their numbers flagged as being cleared to break a call through the jammer. This meant that a conference call was the easiest way for everyone to stay in contact through what was about to happen, so all of them were wearing similar earpieces.

"How's everybody doing?" She asked everybody.

"I was fine with the vest." Troy's voice came over the line. "But did you have to insist on full breaching gear for me, Mistress? The Ultimados are used to moving around in this stuff. I needed help up off the couch."

"This guy's hurt four people that we know about since he got into town, Master." Julie Equals' voice responded. "And you LOVE James Bond, but you're NOT James Bond. We left your Walther in Federal Way, anyway. So, yes, my husband and best friend is going to have every protection available."

"You're not wearing any protection." Troy pointed out.

"I need to be able to spring into action for what Helena's got planned. You just need to stay behind the Ultimados and give your command on cue. I'd say to make it 'don't move,' but that's what Helena always says. Besides, I've got the guy who gets to tell the Ultimados what to do with me."

"On that note, Contessa." The voice of Generalissimo Hernando Ramirez came over the line. "We are in position. All is quiet here."

"And continued theeping goes on here." Susan Bailey reported. "When you're as little and cute as these guys, you don't sleep, you theep."

Everyone on the line enjoyed that. They knew the twins.

Helen and Mander finished with their guns and loaded them. Mander stuck his Desert Eagle in its holster and Helen tucked the LC9 into the belt of her black leather catsuit that she'd worn for Troy a couple of nights ago and decided was fitting for the task at hand: defending the castle from the thieves who were about to rob it.

A clock in the room that Helen had set to chime every fifteen minutes indicated that it was 10:45.

"Any time now." Helen told Mander. We should get into position."

She walked to the fireplace and opened the secret door. Mander followed her through it.

"It's weird." He told her. "Maybe it's because I don't usually spend this much time hanging around the castle, but I've just noticed how many old clocks you've got."

"There are a lot." Helen agreed as they walked down the corridor to the stairs. "Nunzio got started here as a Clock Winder. It's a youth job experience thing we have at the castle, spending a couple hours each day going around the place and winding all the clocks."

"It surprises me that more people don't infiltrate the castle that way. You've got the palace, the government, and the government's corporation in one big building. People are coming and going at all hours. And getting hired at the castle sounds pretty easy. Hell, you've got someone here whose whole job is interviewing the nutters who show up every couple weeks claiming to be Your Countessness' long-lost sister."

"It is. But when your final interview is with someone who can compel you to tell them if you're a spy or plan to steal anything, that problem solves itself. Same with the Persephone thing."

Mander knew the name of her sister who ran away when Helen was three and was never seen again but didn't dare say it. Helen would eventually come to realize that Persephone ran away because their father had been touching her. And when Helen got older and he started looking at her the same way he used to look at Persephone, was when Marion Parker finally had enough and confronted him. And was beaten to death for it. After that, Helen learned to do The Thing, and Wade Parker, her biological father, was killed in a prison race riot that he started fifteen minutes after Helen's final Father's Day visit. She proudly told those whom she spoke to about it that it took the coroner two days to count all the stab wounds.

They reached the bottom of the stairs. Helen lit a cigarette and put it in the ash tray that Jeanne had thoughtfully provided, knowing that La Contessa would be in here for a while. Jeanne, Nunzio, and the rest of the staff who lived at the Palace had been given the night off but been advised against leaving the Servants' Quarters for the evening. Helen sat on the step two from the bottom. Mander took a seat a few steps above.

"Guessing we'll be here a bit." Mander guessed.

"I think Julie was right about the timing. I'd plan a job like this to go around midnight. Or during the police shift change, except she knows there's not going to be any cops. And she knows that because it's what she'd do. So, why not come an hour or so early and throw me off?"

"She'd reason you wouldn't have had time to secure the tunnel, so yeah. Best to go before you get a chance."

"That's true. I was also just reminded that I have something she doesn't have: the best family in the world."

"Aww, thanks, Helen!" Troy, Julie, and Susan said over the earpiece simultaneously, except Julie said Helena.

"Dammit, I forgot this was on. Well, I stand by it, everyone. Whatever happens tonight, I'm glad you're all here."

"We all love you too, Helena." Julie responded. "Now, let's show these fuckers what happens when you try to rip off La Contessa while we're around!"

* * *

At 10:50 PM, a van deposited Gordon Walker and Morris Sinclair onto the street where the Denti house was located. Tracy Baker, who was driving the van, left the two of them to find somewhere inconspicuous to wait for their call to be picked up.

"Isn't it a bit risky for you to drive getaway?" Morris asked her before they'd left. "Couldn't Oscar or someone do it?"

"Oscar's done his part for us." Tracy had told him. "He's managed to stay out of danger; there's no reason for him to stick his neck out. Franz can't be relied on for something this important now, Spencer needs to stay at the computer, and Alice has risked herself enough for one day. I can do something besides sit here and come up with ideas."

"Well, keep the ideas coming." Gordon told her before they left the van. "We'll probably need some more before this is over."

Tracy drove off to go wait for them, leaving the two of them walking down the sidewalk.

"You doing ok?" Gordon asked his friend. "I know this job's been stressing you out a bit."

"I'll feel better once we're off the street." Morris admitted, hefting a satchel over his shoulder. The two of them walked on until they approached the Denti House's neighbors and climbed their fence. Once they were no longer visible from the street, Gordon boosted Morris to the top of the wrought-iron fence. Morris then held his hand and helped lift him over. Both landed on the lawn.

The two crept to the front door. The gas lamp that would have lit the doorway in days of old was long in need of repair, and the darkness covered them until Morris was able to reach the door and go to work on the lock. Walker examined the windows while he worked.

"No obvious security." He commented.

"How much do you need on the place where all the child molesters in the country supposedly vanish to?"

The two stepped inside. Gordon opened the bag identical to the one Morris carried and handed him a pair of night-vision goggles before putting on one of his own. Morris' bag was mostly empty for clearing out the safe into. The darkness gave way to greenness, allowing them to creep their way through the antique furnishings and décor to the basement.

Morris found himself a mixture of disappointed and grateful that they hadn't encountered anything to confirm his beliefs about the woman whose home they were here to ultimately break into. No signs of pagan orgies, the remains of pedophiles, or pentagrams drawn in blood met them on their journey through the old, dead house.

Into the far wall of the basement, surrounded by old kitchen utensils, a cooking alcove had been carved. Walker turned on the camera connected to his goggles. Back on the yacht, Alice Mei sat at a laptop next to Spencer Malone's computer and studied the wall he was looking at through the cam.

"Ok." She told them over the comms. "Try the middle row of bricks, about fourth from the door on the right."

Gordon followed her instructions and pressed the stone. The alcove slid open to reveal the tunnel on the other side. He started to step into it when Morris reached out an arm and stopped him. He pointed to the lights on the ceiling.

"Those are motion detectors." Morris pointed out to his partner. "Probably just to light the path and save electricity. But if there's something else hooked up to them, we don't want to find out the hard way."

"Any way around the sensors?" Gordon asked.

Morris sighed and looked down the dark hallway, where there was no ambient light for his goggles to magnify. Now that the goggles would do nothing, he handed them back to Gordon. He then knelt down into a crawl.

"Not around." He answered. "Under. They design interior motion-sensing lights like these so that your pets aren't constantly setting them off. Means we've got a crawl ahead of us." He produced a headband with a flashlight attached, which he put on, then proceeded on his hands and knees.

Gordon sighed, dropped to his knees, and followed his friend as they began the long crawl up the tunnel.

* * *

Tracy found a petrol station that was still open at this hour and went inside. Two of the magazines on the rack had Contessa Helena de San Finzione on the cover and weren't ones she already had, so she grabbed them both. Three had Lady Maria on the cover, but the Princess was an open book, not a mystery like La Contessa. Tracy decided against petrol station tea and got herself a coffee instead. She took her purchases back to the van and got into the driver's seat.

She flipped through the first magazine to the interview. The one the cover promised would "reveal all." It was nothing Tracy hadn't read before. Standard questions about her decision not to remarry after the Count died and her usual answers about considering herself still married to him. How she reconciles that with her publicized dating life. Questions about being a ruler and a mother answered with the usual coy deflections about the father of her sons. She didn't need to read the whole thing. La Contessa would just reword her same answers to suit the interview.

From here, Tracy could see the castle at last. Or at least the high stone wall around the castle. She'd been careful to avoid any of the entrances and hadn't gotten another look at the building, but she imagined two thirds of it was still awake and bustling with activity. The non-stop business of the government and the global corporation that employed most of the country.

Her business with the castle would be in the other wing, though. Which she imagined was completely dark on the other side of the wall. If La Contessa expected something coming, and Tracy had every reason to believe she did, she would evacuate her servants. It would just be the Ultimados and, if Morris had been right, Nigel Mander that they'd have to deal with. Alice's stuff would even the odds there.

"How're things going?" She asked over the comms.

"We're crawling in the dark, dammit." Gordon grumbled. "I hope the Ultimados will give me a minute to stretch first once we get there."

"Yeah." Morris agreed. "We've reached the first set of stairs. Still a ways to go."

"Well, just close your eyes and think of England, Gordon. Shouldn't be long now."

"Maybe it'd be easier if you told us a story or something." He countered.

"Hmm." Tracy hmmed. "All right. I know Oscar knows this one, because he's the one who told me. Do the rest of you know who another count, Victor 'The Count' Lustig was?"

None of them did, so she continued.

"Another great criminal I admire besides La Contessa. Con man of the early 20th century. He sold the Eiffel Tower twice and came up with the Rumanian Box scam; a box that he claimed would 'duplicate any currency bill that you put into it.' That one's a good story, too. But that's not the scam I love most.

"Lustig went to Chicago and met with Al Capone. He had a proposition for Al. Lustig had a mark primed and ready to take for a million. And he'd cut Capone in for half. He just needed fifty thousand to bait the hook. Al heard the con, thought it was a good one, and fronted him the money."

"Cool." Spencer Malone replied. "So, what happened?"

"Victor got a safe deposit box. He put the money in it, got a hotel room, and waited. For two months. After which, he took the money out, went back to Capone, and told him 'The mark never showed. Here's every penny of your money back.' He went on to tell Al that, after living it up in a hotel for two months for appearances, he was now penniless. Al told him 'Well, it was a good scam,' and gave Lustig five thousand dollars for his honesty and his troubles.

"And that is the story of how Victor 'The Count' Lustig personally took Al Capone for five grand."

Everyone cheered. Morris and Gordon did so quietly.

"Nice." Gordon commented. "Took my mind off it. See the door now."

* * *

Helen was on her third smoke while they'd been sitting in the secret passage. She and Mander both stared at their phones. Mander had taken out his phone and was playing a game on it. Helen was watching footage of the empty Study from the camera that had been set up inside.

"Well, this is getting boring." Julie said over the conference call that was still going on. "We know they went into the Denti house. Why haven't they gotten here yet?"

Helen thought about it.

"They'll want to avoid setting off the motion detectors in the lights." She concluded. "I've been thinking about what kind of security to put down there after this. And I realized that I've crawled under the range of a motion-sensing light or two myself. So, that's probably what they're doing in there."

"Damn," Julie replied. "And up all those stairs, too. Guess they will be a while. So, what do we do until then?"

"Someone could tell us a story." Susan commented. "Hey, Helen, how about a little bit from 'The Half-Dragon Girl?'"

"That story's for the boys." Helen replied, referring to the bedtime story she often told the twins that was a fantasy version of her life before having them. "Troy and/or Julie were there for most of the interesting stuff in my life. Oh, here's something. You know the concert I went to last night? How they opened with 'Poor Poor Pitiful Me?' Do you know why they picked that song to start things off?"

"Because it's Warren Zevon and you're obsessed with him?" Julie asked.

"That, too. When I was planning my wedding, I had a bunch of decisions I'd never had to make before and it was getting overwhelming, so Vincenzo helped with a few things. And one of them was covering the music. Which, with still having a country to rule and all, he handed off to an advisor who probably just looked up music he thought someone Vincenzo's age could dance to. During the reception, most of what he'd selected had been waltzes and slow dances. You know 'True by Spandau Ballet? That 'Ah ah-ah ahhhhh ah' song they play at every high school dance on TV and in movies? We had that one, too. And around our third waltz, I told Vincenzo that I'd like to hear something else. He told me 'You are Contessa now. If you wish a special song, go tell the band and they will play it.' So, I did. And our next dance was to 'Poor Poor Pitiful Me."

Everyone laughed.

"Oh, the tabloids jumped on it, of course. 'New Yankee Contessa picks a typically gauche and tacky American song for royal reception.' But that created public interest in the song, and for a few days, it topped the iTunes sales charts."

"And to think," Julie commented. "The man lived his whole life without ever knowing just how fucking much he would've gotten laid with you."

"Even from beyond the grave, he's got reasons to thank you. Like the people of Uongo will."

"No, they won't." Helen insisted. "I don't do these things for thanks, and I still feel bad for using The Thing on Faraji. I've got a bunch of stories I won't tell you of things to be remorseful for and that's the newest one."

The conversation was interrupted when Helen noticed something on the camera.

"Hang on, everyone." She told the others. "I think they're here."

* * *

Morris and Gordon reached the top of the passage. Sinclair took out the camera and snaked the cable with the lens under the door.

"Looks clear." He told Gordon. He started reaching slowly for the stone to open the door when his hand hit a sensor and the lights burst to life. Gordon leapt to his feet, blinking, and Morris scrambled to do the same. There were no sirens, no alarms. They didn't hear the sound of approaching footsteps.

"Nothing!" Gordon muttered under his breath. "We crawled all that damn way and they were just lights."

"Are you disappointed?" Tracy asked in his earpiece.

"Just feel like we could've gotten here quicker." Gordon replied, stretching now that he was on his feet.

Morris ran his gloved hand over the stones that were in the same area as the one he'd seen La Contessa press on the other side of the wall. One of them gave slightly and the wall opened. Light from behind them now streamed into the darkened Study.