No Laughing Matter Pt. 01

It was only at this closer range that I saw there were a pair of sandals beneath her feet, which she gripped at the straps with her toes. They appeared old and beat up with darkened sweat prints in the shape of her footprint. I watched intently as her toes fidgeted and tugged at the straps. Occasionally, she'd slip one foot into a sandal, wiggle her toes around, then immediately slip it off once more and play around with the straps again.

I felt a strange feeling as I watched. It was as if I was seeing something that I shouldn't. Was Hind even aware that there was a gap at the bottom of the desk and I could see her feet unimpeded? She was playing with her sandals as if she thought her feet were completely hidden beneath the desk, yet, here I was, watching the whole thing. I knew it was weird that I was watching, but still, for some reason, I couldn't look away, and I continued to gawp at her toes as they flexed and wiggled. She placed both feet atop her sandals while she answered the phone, then as she spoke, she once again tugged at the straps and slightly lifted one. She laughed at something the patient said on the other end, then dropped the sandal so its sole slapped on the tile.

I wondered if those sandals had travelled with her from Morocco. I zoned out while staring at her feet, imagining Hind walking around the humid streets of Casablanca while the sun roasted up above in the sky. Beads of sweat collecting on her forehead while her toes itched beneath the leather straps of her sandals. How many days of her foot sweat had that leather soaked up? Yet here she was, in a different country, freely allowing a patient to witness the sweaty stains etched into the shape of her feet.

I looked at my own feet. I was wearing a pair of flats that hid them completely from view. I'd never been comfortable with the appearance of my feet, just like my teeth. I found them to be unsightly, and anyway, feet weren't really something that a guy paid attention to, right? Who cares how they looked? That's why I'd never bothered painting them or going for a pedicure or anything. They were just things that I used to walk around.

Yet, Hind, who came from a country with a harsher climate, had immaculately soft feet that looked perfectly pampered. How was that even possible? Had I been doing something wrong all these years?

"Earth to Jill," I suddenly heard, which shook me from my daydreaming. I'd been so zoned in on watching Hind's feet, that I hadn't even noticed Bob had come out to greet me.

I darted my eyes away from Hind's feet, and noticed both her and Bob were looking at me. Bob glanced towards Hind's desk, then returned his eyes to me. "All okay?

"Oh, hi," I stuttered out.

"You looked lost in thought there," he said. "Bit worried, are you?"

"Something like that," I said. I momentarily sneaked another look at Hind's feet beneath her desk, all the while she was still looking at me. I don't know why I did it, especially as she was watching me, but for some reason I couldn't help but look one more time in case this was the last chance I'd ever get to see them. Hind's feet crossed at the ankles, and I could see the soles of her feet for the first time. There were black marks seeped into the wrinkles, as if the leather of her sandals had been turned to a paste by her foot sweat. Did that happen every time she wore them? Surely, she would know if that was the case, so why would she bare her dirty soles like that while she was working? It was somewhat offensive, that she'd come to our country and do such a thing, yet I was fascinated that she had the audacity. Was she that comfortable in her job that she thought she could just kick off her sandals and act like she was at home? I mean, I couldn't blame her, even with all of the dirt on the bottom they were still probably some of the prettiest feet I'd ever seen.

"Are you okay, Jill?" Bob asked.

I realised what I'd been doing again and snapped out of it. I looked at Hind in a panic, hoping she hadn't realised what I was staring at. Her head was cocked with her eyebrow raised with intrigue, though she didn't seem to realise I had been fully focused on that small gap beneath her desk. "Miss Matheson does not like dentist," she said to Bob with a concerned grimace. "I think she worried."

Bob chuckled. "Oh, I know. Me and Jill go way back. You won't realise how difficult it was to get her here at all!"

Hind giggled at that, and I felt somewhat at ease and joined them both in laughter.

Bob led me to his treatment room and I had to fight the urge to look back beneath Hind's desk one last time. I tried to keep my eyes on her own, as she was watching me as I left the waiting room, with a little smile on her face. But just as I was about to enter Bob's treatment room, I caved and dropped my attention to the foot of her desk in full view of her watchful eyes. There they were, those red-polished toes, once again playing with her sandal straps. As Bob closed the door behind me, I swear I saw Hind lean over and look at the side of her desk with interest.

Once in the room, my mouth fidgeted to speak, and I had to bite my tongue to avoid blurting everything out there and then. Bob should know, shouldn't he? He should know that his receptionist felt it was okay to just display her bare feet so openly in his clinic. I mean, they weren't ugly or anything, they actually seemed pretty well pampered, however, it just went against customer-facing etiquette. I was about to say something, but then I thought about Hind and what the consequences could be. She just wanted to learn and better herself, who was I to risk that for her over something so ultimately trivial? It almost felt like a betrayal, that Hind had allowed me to see something so intimate, that no one else had seen, and I was about to spill the beans. She seemed too nice and friendly for me to do that to her. Plus, if I told Bob, he'd likely reprimand her, and on my next visit, I wouldn't get to see her feet again. Wait? Did I actually want to see them after all? I gripped my handbag and kept my head down as headed to his desk.

He took a seat and gestured for me to sit in the one opposite. "Right, how are you feeling?"

"A little weird," I said, while the thought of Hind's feet were still rolling around my head. What the hell was going on? I was about to have work done in my mouth, yet here I was, thinking about some Moroccan girl's feet in the other room. Was she still playing with the straps at this moment, clutching and gripping them with those delectable, talented toes? Was I even offended that she was showing them off? I mean, they weren't ugly at all, if anything, they were beautiful. Wait...could feet be beautiful?

"Yes, you seemed a bit lost in thought out there. That's to be expected though with the way you feel about this place. I'll try to make it as easy a process as possible for you."

I shook off my strange thoughts about Hind and took a deep breath. "Thank you, Bob."

He leant forward and smiled. "Well, the whitening treatment has certainly done the job. No stains at all."

I was looking at his face, but his words were kind of going in one ear and out the other. Did he say something about stains? There were stains all over Hind's sandals. Stains of sweat that had probably been built up over many years. How could feet that pretty sweat so much? It must have been due to the Moroccan climate. Could feet that sweat that much still be considered beautiful?

"Right. I've thought things through, and I feel the best treatment for you today is nitrous oxide. Now, we typically wouldn't use the gas when applying dental braces as it's a fairly straightforward procedure, however, with your clear anxiety, I think it would be best just to relax you and help you feel at ease."

"Ugh, nitrous oxide?" I asked while glancing towards the door and wondering if Hind was still bare foot. "Is it, is that, uh, is it dangerous?"

"Not at all. We regulate the dose. You might just laugh a bit and sometimes your hearing can become a bit echoey and tinny. No long term effects. It's just something that will help you relax and make the work easier for me. I don't want you tense and on edge while I'm fitting the braces. Hopefully you won't laugh too much though!"

"Is that...is that laughing gas then?" I'd heard lots of stories about laughing gas and how it left you in a fit of giggles, but I'd never actually tried it before. Honestly, the thought was somewhat exciting if I could laugh my way through the procedure, but I did wonder how Bob would get any work done if I was constantly laughing.

Bob grinned. "Sure is. You might actually enjoy the experience. Anyway, so I'll be applying the braces to each tooth and the wires will be tightened to gradually reshape your teeth over the next weeks. Over time, that gap will be narrowed and eventually disappear. You'll need to wear a retainer at night to maintain the new shape though."

"Sounds fine," I said while attempting to sound composed.

"Great, hop up onto the chair and we'll get you started on the gas."

I took a seat and Bob fiddled around with a canister and a bunch of tubes. He messed with a few dials, then eventually put what looked like an oxygen mask over my mouth.

"Breathe in," he said. I took a breath, then Bob removed the mask and handed it to me. "You can breathe in as much as you like. As much as you need to help you relax. You can take some breaths every time I'm not working in your mouth. If things get a bit much, echoey or whatever, just take a break from the gas and let me know, okay?"

"You got it," I said, and I took another deep breath from the mask. I continued to do so while Bob brought out the braces on a tray and arranged all of his instruments. The gas began to take effect, and I noticed my arms and legs were tingling right down to my fingertips and toes. I felt at ease and almost like I was drifting away from the room and floating near the ceiling. It was an odd feeling, yet one I liked, and I suddenly wasn't at all bothered about the impending treatment.

While I took another breath from the mask, my thoughts lingered back to the desk outside, and I had to shake my head to keep focus. "So, how is Sandy?" I asked, then for some reason, I just started laughing. It was uncontrollable, as if the thought of Bob's wife was the most hilarious image in the world. I just couldn't stop. I kept laughing on and on until Bob turned a notch down on the gas tank.

"Think it might have been a bit high," he chuckled to himself. "But you'll be happy to know that Sandy is just fine."

I took a few more breaths of the gas over the next few minutes, before Bob eased my mouth open and began working on my teeth. We continued in this order for a while. I'd take a breath and feel at ease, then while I took a break from the gas, Bob would work on my teeth. At times we exchanged small-talk, which occasionally would set me off in a fit of giggles. We moved between various topics, and all the while, I wasn't at all bothered that I was at a dentist and having various tools poked and prodded around my mouth. As far as I was concerned, laughing gas was the best thing I'd ever experienced.

The more I breathed in, the more I felt completely relaxed and as if my internal filter had been removed. I spoke to him about all sorts, how I missed sex and longed to have a boyfriend again. Bob was professional and polite, noting that getting my teeth looking beautiful was likely going to help with that.

But then, during a lull in the conversation, and after a few shallow breaths of gas, my thoughts drifted back to Hind out in the waiting room with her bare feet beneath her desk and I began laughing. Why had I been staring at her feet? Why had I made such a big deal about it? Why the hell had I thought her feet were beautiful? That was god damn hilarious! I looked at Bob, his face filled with amusement as I laughed, and he asked me what was so funny this time.

Bob was one of my oldest friends, we shared all sorts of intimate details in the past, why couldn't I tell him what I was thinking?" I began laughing out loud at the thought of sharing what was on my mind. "Oh my God, hahaha, you know, back in the waiting room I couldn't stop looking at your receptionists' feet! Hahaha, how funny is that?"

Bob's eyebrows went all crooked above his facemask. "Wha...what?" He too then began laughing, and seeing him do so, kind of spurred me on to share more details.

"I could see them beneath her desk. Hahaha. Bright red toenails!" I knew what I was saying was ludicrous, but for some reason, I couldn't stop myself, and the more I said, the greater I laughed along to the words. "I was watching her feet beneath her desk, hahaha, slipping in and out of her sandals. Those red toes on those tanned little toes. Wow! Hahaha. I can't believe she goes bare feet in your office."

Bob sniggered and rolled his eyes. "Jill, what the hell are you even talking about?"

I took another breath of the gas. "Hahaha, don't tell me you've never noticed, Bob? Hahaha!"

He held a gloved hand to his chest. "I can honestly say I've never looked at Hind's feet in my life."

I burst into an even greater bout of laughter. "Well, maybe you should from now on!"

Bob sniggered. "Apparently I should leave that to you." He shook his head, then leant in and focused his attention on my mouth. "Take a break from the gas for a moment."

For the next five minutes, Bob worked around in my mouth while the laughing gas gradually wore off. As the tingling stopped and his voice stopped echoing, I thought back to what I'd shared. My face flushed in a tinge of embarrassment. Oh God, what the hell had I just been saying? All that stuff about Hind's feet? I cringed and was absolutely mortified. Bob must have thought I was a complete weirdo.

He glanced up at me while retracting his hand from my mouth. He must have noticed my reddening cheeks. "You okay?"

"A bit uncomfortable," I said, and he handed me the gas for another breath, and another, and another until that euphoric feeling returned and I was lost in the tingling again, as if floating up above the chair without a worry in the world. What I'd been saying about Hind hadn't been so bad, had it? I was just stating the truth, and Bob didn't seem that weirded out? I began laughing again in a fit of giggles. "Do you think she brought those sandals with her from Morocco?" For some reason that made me laugh even louder, imagining Hind wearing those sandals on the plane, arriving in our state and seeing nothing but clouds and rain.

Bob rolled his eyes and ignored the question, instead continuing to apply the brace to the next tooth while I took a break from my nattering. While he worked, my thoughts were completely filled with Hind and her feet. The way they twisted and flexed beneath her desk, the way that toe ring sparkled like some treasure that lured in the eyes of all around. She had to know the effect her feet had on people, so why would she show them so freely? She put those shoes on every day, so she knew there were sweat stains all over them. Yet, still, she kicked them off at work so patients could see the dirt!

Bob turned to pick up another instrument, and I immediately laughed while saying, "You can see the sweat stains on them. She must have worn them for years." I laughed again, my chest vibrating in a triumphant giggle. "But have you seen how pretty her feet are? I can't believe such pretty feet leave sweat stains like that." Another barrage of laughter followed, and I just couldn't stop myself from sharing more. It was just all so funny. "Wow, that Hind has some beautiful feet. I didn't even know feet could be beautiful until today!" I gave a final laugh, but then trailed off as I saw panic in Bob's eyes.

He paused and sat back, then he glanced towards the door. I followed his line of sight, and saw Hind frozen in place, holding a tray of dental instruments. She looked at Bob with puzzlement in her eyes, though her mouth was hidden behind a blue medical mask. "What is it?" she asked. "I do something?"

"Nothing," Bob said, while snapping a rubber glove from his hand. "Just a case of the old laughing gas giving someone the giggles."

Hind's face relaxed and she muttered, "Oh." The puzzled looked then returned and she said, "I just thought...you talk about me."

"Nothing to worry about," Bob said. "Just gibberish."

"Okay." Hind smiled beneath her mask then brought the instruments over and placed them on the table next to Bob.

The gas had started to wear off and my cheeks were on fire again in embarrassment. Oh God, I thought, she must have heard what I was saying. She heard me saying that her feet were beautiful! I wanted to die right there and bury my head in shame. How humiliated could a person be? It was bad enough that I'd said all that stuff to Bob, but for Hind to overhear too? Total cringe moment. While she walked to the corner of the room and clicked a few things on a computer screen, I avoided eye contact with her and looked towards the breathing mask again. My saviour! I locked it to my face and took a number of deep, slow breathes, trying to steady my nerves and stop the panicked thoughts that were racking my brain.

The gas did its work again, and suddenly, it didn't really matter that Hind had overheard me. I felt far away from it all, even from the room and dentist chair. I was floating up on a higher plane of existence where shit just didn't matter. I'd said Hind had beautiful feet and she'd heard, who the hell cared? It was the truth! I craned my neck and looked down towards the floor. I was just able to make out that Hind was wearing crocs now, instead of those sandals from beneath the desk. She must have slipped them on before coming into the treatment room. Bare feet must have only been appropriate at her desk. In here, it was only crocs.

And that set me off laughing again, because how could a pretty girl like Hind, a pretty girl with such beautiful feet, wear crocs? "Oh, don't keep them hidden from us in those ugly shoes," I shouted over to her with another laugh, prompting her to turn and look me in the eye. "Where's your beautiful feet? Hahaha!"

Hind's green eyes narrowed above the face mask. "My feet?" she asked, before looking at Bob with a perplexed expression.

I was biting my lip to the point that I thought it was going to bleed. I could feel a giggle about to burst out, and I tried all I could to supress it and hold it in. I'd gotten away with the rubbish I was talking. Bob had even smoothed things over for me, but for some reason, I had an urge inside me to say it all again in front of Hind. I don't know why, but the thought was damn hilarious. Surely, she'd find it hilarious too.

"I was looking at your toes," I said, then I began convulsing in a fit of giggles while laid out in the dental chair. "I was thinking about how smooth your skin is. Oh my God, hahaha, what am I even saying?"

Hind turned and looked down at her crocs. "My toes?"

I let out a high-pitched shrill. "Yes! Beneath your desk when you kicked your sandals off." I had to cover my mouth before rampant laughter burst through my fingers. "I couldn't stop looking at your bare feet."

I noticed a flush evident on Hind's cheeks. She glanced towards the door awkwardly, then I saw panic in her eyes. Hind looked at me, her curiosity causing her brow to twist and forehead to wrinkle. She then looked towards Bob and he let out a sigh and shrugged. "I tried to stop her," he said. "Jill, what are you even talking about? I think you've had enough gas for today!" He tried to take the breathing mask from me, but I bat his hand away and instead took another deep breath.

"Your receptionists' feet!"

I heard Hind tut. "I'm not just reception," she said with an annoyed tone, seemingly more focused on that smite than the ridiculous subject of my blustering. "I'm dental assistant too."