Nuë and the Djinn Ch. 08 - End

"I think I can," Nuë said. When the musicians came, Nuë stood and went to them. The drummer didn't speak her language so she looked at him and clapped the time she wanted, triplets, one long held a beat and two short. The drummer listened and then nodded, giving her the rhythm. She slowed him, gesturing, and then nodded.

The other musician had a droning instrument not unlike what Sidean played, a bow drawn on strings. He listened to the drummer, his head bobbing, and then began, giving her a Sidean song, to her surprise. Nuë smiled at him and he returned it. It was close enough, and Nuë bent down and removed her boots, walking barefoot to the middle of the floor.

She began the Sidean dance. It felt good to dance, good to hear the rhythms and move to them. She sang the song the musician played, forgetting the men, forgetting her worries about Mihel.

When it was done, she went to the musicians, thanking them. They looked pleased, nodding at her, talking to each other. She sat down on the stairs and put her boots back on, crossing the leather straps. She returned to the table, sitting.

She slowly realized how quiet the men at the table were, the translator staring at her as well. She turned to Vassi, leaning in. "Did I offend them, Vassi?" she said, frowning lightly.

"No," Vassi said to her a little blankly. "No, Nuë. You dance very well, thank you. They don't forget that soon." Vassi turned and signaled, Bello coming and leaning down. Vassi spoke to him. Bello straightened, glancing at her. He nodded. Vassi turned to her. "Bello will be sleeping outside your door while this men are here."

#

Nuë's tapestry was done. She had supper with Vassi every evening. She hadn't felt anything from Mihel since her fall in the courtyard. Every morning, she checked her wrists, the blue bands still there. Vassi didn't say anything anymore when she showed up with her eyes puffy.

Mihel had said it could be up to four weeks but no more. Since she had come here, Nuë had lain in her bed every night and reached out to Mihel. She had no sense of him at all. She fought the impression that there was only emptiness in her spirit, a place he was missing from her, but that was how it felt. She counted the days, still not quite believing he hadn't returned. She would watch the mouth of the tunnel, but he was never among any of the people who came through it.

She woke up at the end of the fourth week and Mihel still hadn't come.

Nuë spent that day in a daze. She realized she really had still been waiting. She hadn't prepared herself at all, holding out as Vassi had said to do. But now, she had no more excuses. Mihel would never make her wait like this.

She didn't come to the table for supper. Carin came to the door and scratched. She opened it, shaking her head, and closed it. Someone scratched again and she opened it.

"You come for supper. I say something to you," Vassi said.

Nuë came out and sat, Carin serving food. She wasn't hungry, an entirely different kind of emptiness inside her. She picked at the food. When the meal was done, Vassi exhaled, leaning back in his chair.

"You don't want to hear this now," he said. "But you listen to me for a moment. I will make sure you are safe. I promise to that big threat. You want to go to Heltas? I will make sure you get safe to Heltas. You want to go to other places? I will make sure you get safe to other places. You have the money he leaves for you. But I say to you this, for me, Vassi only. If you want, you stay here with me until you know. Not like that, you don't worry about that. You don't fear for you are left outside these walls. This is your home if you want until you find a better one. You say nothing now. Go on, back to your room. Tell me some other time."

She rose. Nuë paused in the doorway and looked back at him. "Thank you, Vassi."

"I told you say nothing, sad gold beauty," Vassi said gruffly, his hand gesturing her away.

#

In the very early morning the next day, only just dawn, Nuë got dressed. She hadn't slept. She opened her door and left the residence. Nobody was up yet, even the animals still sleeping in the courtyard. It was cold, late in the season, winter coming. Nuë went out the small gate, the guards seeing her and nodding. They knew her now.

It felt like it had been a long time since she'd been outside of the gates. Her chest was hollow. She didn't feel anything, but there was so much under it. She went and found a place to sit, her hands around her knees, looking across at the flat horizon of the grassy steppes, the wind always playing across it.

It was time for her to go. She couldn't burden Vassi. As much as she missed Levsa, there was nothing for her at Fada tribe. She wouldn't go begging a home from her father. Nuë put her chin on her knees. She had the money Mihel had left her. Maybe she would find a small wood house in Heltas.

The truth was, it didn't really matter where she went. Nuë didn't think her spirit was really her own anymore. She didn't think it had been her own for lifetimes.

She turned her head when Bello came, sitting beside her, spaced far. She smiled at him, realizing she was crying. She faced forward again. She liked the quiet here. Maybe she would buy a tent and live on the steppes for a time. A place nobody would bother her.

Bello touched her shoulder. He had risen. She looked up at him.

He gestured at the gate. "Vassi," he said.

She nodded and rose, brushing off her hands. She looked across the plain and there was someone there, the shape of a horse. She couldn't tell how many horses yet.

There was no reason for her to think it was Mihel and Luta. This was a caravanserai. People came here. But she didn't leave, her eyes straining.

"Nuë," Bello said.

She turned to look at him and then looked back at the horse. She began to walk in that direction and then she was walking faster. Then she began to run.

"Nuë," Bello called now.

Nuë wished she could have ifrit speed. She ran, her feet flying across the grasslands. She knew it was them. She could feel it.

She watched the horse get larger, and then it was one horse. One horse getting bigger and one person leading it, nobody riding. She had lost one of them. She cried out, still running.

It was Luta ahead of her. Only Luta.

She slowed and came to a stop where she was, panting, her legs giving out, crumpling. Mihel. Luta had her shoulders, was saying something to her. He was talking. She tried to hear him. She focused on his face.

"...here, Nuë," he said, shaking her lightly. "My brother's alive, but he needs you."

She shook her head, not understanding. She looked at the horse, seeing it was dragging something. A travois. Mihel. She got to her feet, going to it, seeing him.

She knelt beside it, relief going through her. He was here, looking like he was just asleep. She put her head down, listening, looking to see his chest rise, breathing. "Mihel," she said.

"He can't hear you," Luta said over her. "That's just his body. His spirit is lost."

#

They sat at the table with Vassi after Luta had carried Mihel's body in and put him on the bed in Nuë's room. Luta looked exhausted.

"Tell me," Nuë said.

"It was bad, little sister." Luta said. "We killed him, but he knew we would come and there were traps. We got past those, but it gave the sorcerer time to prepare. We were able to move in and out of the spirit world to avoid the spells he cast, trying to get closer so we could kill him, but I came out at the wrong moment and got hit by one. It made me sick. I was so sick I couldn't go to the spirit world. I couldn't even move. That crazy sorcerer raised his fist and looked at me chanting and all of the sudden it felt like my heart was in his hand getting crushed.

"I thought I was going to die, but Mihel appeared and saw what was happening and rushed him. He turned to Mihel and cast a spell. It hit Mihel, but it distracted Ezrel enough that I was released. I got hold of that crazy sorcerer and ripped his crazy head off, but Mihel was gone."

"Gone?" Nuë said. "Gone where?"

"I think Ezrel cast a spell to confuse my brother, to cause chaos in his mind," Rasmin answered. "I think Mihel shifted into the spirit world to avoid it, but he got hit, and then got lost there. The sorcerer is dead and the spell is gone, but Mihel went too far. He's still there. It's a vast place. Nuë. Distances aren't the same and he's still wandering. I've been searching for him for weeks, but I can't find him and he can't find his way home to his body. I had to walk the horse, dragging his body the whole way."

"What do I do?" Nuë said.

"You're his incora. I need you to go to the spirit world and get him."

#

They were in her room at Vassi's residence. Vassi was sitting in a chair, watching. Bello was also there, standing next to him.

Nuë was sitting on the bed with Mihel stretched out next to her, on his back. Luta was facing her, also sitting on the bed. Her hands were in his and her eyes were on his face.

"You need to be very careful," Luta said. "You're human. Even if you could see the threads that guide my people in the spirit world, Mihel is where there are no threads. He's too far, and you're going to need to go there to help him to find his way back. Where I'm going to send you, if you make a mistake, if you go off the path even one small step, you will end up in places I could never get to you. You would both be lost there."

Nuë felt her breathing get faster. "Can't you take me?"

"You have to go alone, little sister. It's a spirit place, a powerful one. Nobody else can go for you. I've been standing there calling to him every night, but he can't hear me. He's been out there for too long. It's not good for us. The bond with our bodies begins to stretch, to get weak. He's been this way since--"

"The ninth day after you left," Nuë said. "I felt it. My bracelets burned. I couldn't find the threads."

"Yes," Luta said.

"Tell me where to go. Tell me how to get to him."

Luta shook his head. "He has to come to you. You would never be able to find him. But in this place I'm talking about, he can hear you better. It's a kind of crossing point where the spirit lines come together, and those lines go to all places everywhere, all at once. If I can get you there, you can call to him. But I don't know if he'll come. He might not be able to. It may be that he's just too far."

"All right. What do I do?"

"Lie down next to him. I'm going to touch your wrist to cross you over. You'll hear my voice. Listen for it. This is important, Nuë, so pay attention right now. Follow the path. Don't step anywhere else, no matter what you see or hear. Don't talk to anything. Don't stop walking until I say you're there. The spirit world can be strange. There are things there for us, memories. Fears. Sometimes spirits who have gotten lost there sense those things and are drawn to us, trying to find their way home. They take the form of what we know, what they see in us, but those forms aren't real. Don't lose focus. Don't lose my voice. Don't pay attention to anything else that you see or hear."

Nuë lay down. She nodded. "All right."

"Close your eyes. Listen to my voice. Are you ready?"

Nuë nodded. She closed her eyes. Luta touched her wrist and she was somewhere else.

She was alone. Nuë looked down. A path was there, not wide, but it was clear and stretched out ahead of her. She began to walk. It seemed like an ordinary deer trail through the woods. But a fast glance around herself revealed a body twisted in a trunk, elongated, its face screaming, and she had the thought that there were people trapped in the trees.

"Don't look at them," Luta said.

Nuë looked down, her heart pounding. It was dim, lights glowing, all sorts of colors of the spirits around her. It her side vision, she saw the air moving if she were under water, with forms that shifted just past the range of her vision. She heard laughter somewhere to her left, but it was lonely laughter. She breathed, ignoring it, looking down. Following the path.

Luta's voice was next to her. "Think of Mihel. It will help."

She thought of Mihel, of his strength, his smile, of that blue cobalt color all through his spirit, the feel of it like cool water.

"Keep going."

Nuë walked. She slowly realized there were feet to her left, bare feet, stepping when she did. She saw a gold anklet, so familiar. Nuë was wearing the same one. She suddenly knew who it was, because that was who the anklet had once belonged to. Nuë didn't look, breathing fast. She followed the path.

"Nuë," the person said.

Nuë didn't look up.

"You see someone, little sister?" Luta said.

"Yes," Nuë said to the path.

"Don't answer. Don't look at it. Don't listen to it."

"All right."

"Nuë," Dwali said. "Help me. I can't find my way home. Take me home."

Her mother. Dwali, murdered by a Sidean man from another tribe. Nobody to avenge her. Her mother, whom Nuë had only ever seen from a distance, a dim childhood memory, and to whom she had never spoken.

"Keep walking, little sister," Luta said sharply, and Nuë was startled to realize Luta's voice had gotten fainter. She concentrated on it, hearing it get louder as he spoke. "That's not who you think it is. It's not anybody you know. It's just someone who is lost and wants to find a way back through you, but that person doesn't belong in this world anymore."

"Please, Nuë," Dwali said. "I loved you. Don't leave me here. Speak to me. I'm so alone."

Nuë concentrated on the path, watching it under her feet.

Another pair of feet walked on her right, and then on her left, different feet.

"Look at me, Nuë," one said. "I'm Cao."

"Don't you know me, Nuë?" someone said on the other side of her. "I'm Sersha. He loved me first. Don't you want to know what I look like?"

Nuë watched the path. It was the chattering nonsense of birds she heard, nothing more.

"You're almost there, little sister.," Luta said. "Do you see it?"

Nuë dared a darting glance up, seeing a place ahead, a center, her path and many others leading to it.

"Yes," she said.

"Don't stray from the path. It's going to get worse. Be careful."

A wolf stood in her path. Nuë cast her eyes down, walking. It was growling, snarling. She was breathing fast, slowing.

"Whatever you're seeing, it's not real," Luta said. "It can't hurt you. Keep going."

Nuë closed her eyes, holding her breath, and walked through it. The form lost its shape like it was made of smoke, the face of the animal stretching and twisting.

"Punal," a voice said, vicious. Tahon.

"I'm n--," Nuë said.

"Don't speak to it," Luta said sharply.

Nuë realized she had stopped. She didn't remember stopping. She had turned, her foot almost off the path. Her heart was pounding. She moved her foot back, her motions slow and careful, turning and walking again. She felt like she had been walking for hours.

"Just like your mother," the voice said. She ignored it.

"Nuë."

Nuë's heart leapt. Almost, she turned. "It's him. I hear him--"

"It's not my brother, Nuë. It's not. I would know. It's trying to trick you."

She was breathing fast. She kept on the path.

"Stop, little sister. You did it. You're there."

Nuë hadn't noticed. She stopped. She looked up and then all around. She was in a center, many blue lines shooting out. The forest was gone. She looked around herself. She didn't even know which path to take to find her way back.

"Call to him, Nuë," Luta said. "Call to him in a way he would hear you. He's far."

Nuë drew her breath, releasing it, closing her eyes. Thinking. She opened them. She began to sing, what she knew, her voice wavering a little at first, a simple Sidean walking song to a lover. She timed it to the beat of her heart, facing in one direction and then another, moving around the circle.

"Life is sweet in my eyes

when you're beside me;

There are promises between us

My love, don't leave me alone."

"If I take one step toward you

take two to reach me;

There are promises between us

My love, don't leave me alone."

"Yes. Don't stop," Luta said somewhere else. It was getting brighter where she stood, white light traveling the lines.

"The wind carries my voice

it brings me to you;

There are promises between us

My love, don't leave me alone.

Someone was coming, from every direction or none. She heard his voice. Mihel. She turned in a circle. She couldn't tell where the voice was coming from. The lines blurred.

"Nuë," Mihel said above her. She looked up. She was lying on her back.

Mihel was over her, in the bed with her, his eyes spirit blue. She blinked. His hand touched her cheek, caressing.

"I dreamed I lost you," she told him.

"I'm here," he said.

She sat up, Mihel leaning back. She was surprised, looking around. She was in her bed at Vassi's residence. It was night, moonlight streaming through the open doors to the balcony. "Where is everyone?"

"Sleeping."

"I feel like I was gone for a long time."

"You went deep into the spirit world to find me."

She looked down, raising the blanket. "I'm naked. How did I get naked?"

Mihel shrugged one shoulder. "I was waiting until you were awake to touch you," Mihel said in his defense, his eyes shifting away from her and back. "Mostly."

She felt slippery between her legs, her nipples sensitive against the covers. "You didn't wait. You were touching me and I woke up," she accused, something hard against her leg under the covers.

"I missed you." He held something up.

She focused on it. Her maiden collar. She made a disgusted face. "I don't want that," she said. "Why do you still have that?"

"I thought maybe you would want it," Mihel said.

"That has your name on it?" she demanded. "You didn't get rid of it? You brought it back to me first?"

"Yes," he said warily.

"Let me up."

She fought herself out of the covers. She leaned forward to rise, Mihel tugging her back every time, just enough to shift her balance so she couldn't quite get there. "Now, Mihel," she said. She found herself standing beside the bed.

Mihel sat up, also naked. She drew herself up.

He sighed, gesturing at her. "Don't get upset, little incora--"

"You let me stab you," she said. "You let me give your true name to sorcerers! Now you bring this collar to me, letting it be in the world where anybody could find it and make you a prisoner instead of throwing it into the sea or burying it in some deep hole--"

"That's not necessary. I can just break it," he said.

She made a noise of frustration. "Break it, Mihel!" she cried.

Mihel took it in his hands, breaking it easily. "See, it's done," he said, so reasonable. "Come back to bed, beautiful incora.'

"No," she said, upset. "I'm all the time trying to kill you, making you get lost in the spirit world--"

He appeared in front of her, his hands reaching.

She batted them away, backing up. "No! Don't touch me. I'm a menace to you."

He laughed and got hold of her. She shrieked, turning around, his hard and large sex bumping against her butt as she struggled, Mihel huge behind her, looming. "Let me go, Mihel," she grunted and panted, her hair everywhere, pushing on his arms. "No!"

He laughed again, moving and slapping her butt, his large hand, stinging. She shrieked again, Mihel reaching around to pinch her nipple, and then the other.

"You don't do that to me," she raged, feeling the stabs of pleasure. "Let me go, you big ifrit."

His hand came across her mouth, Nuë shrieking behind it as he dragged her effortlessly to the bed and threw her on her belly, Nuë trying to come up.

He climbed onto the bed over her and straddled her, collapsing her, his other hand on her upper back, pressing her into the bed. He released her mouth, Nuë yelling again. His hand went to her hips, lifting them, his knee between her legs, spreading them. Her ass was jutting obscenely into the air, her top half pinned, her head to the side.