tagHumor & SatireNurse Honeydews

Nurse Honeydews


"Oh! Mr. Pleasance!" gasped Nurse Millie Honeydews standing in the doorway, her eyes wide with shock. "You're going to pull a muscle doing that!"

His face burning with shame, Peter Pleasance draped the bed sheet back over his swollen member, doing nothing to hide its great length and swollen head.

"Nurse Honeydews!" he said, cursing inwardly. "I didn't see you." But her hourglass figure - silhouetted by the bright hallway lights - only further increased Peter's shame. Nurse Honeydews had a set of headlights that seemed to constantly fight with her little white uniform. At any moment her great knockers might spill or burst out into plain view, they jiggled and strained so eagerly. He shut his eyes tightly and tried to think of something flat and dry – the opposite of Nurse Honeydews.

"Oh you poor dear, you HAVE strained something!" gushed the clueless nurse. Without even opening his eyes Peter could visualize Honeydews undulating to his bedside, her high heels arching her back, thrusting her out like the prow of a particularly naughty pirate ship.

"Quick, where does it hurt?" she cooed into his ear, caressing his brow. "We don't want to undo all our work."

Five weeks ago he and his girlfriend's car had been clipped by a leering trucker. Since then Peter had been in traction, and every day Nurse Honeydews had massaged each and every one of his aching muscles except for the one that had throbbed the most as she crawled all over him, her swelling cleavage or soft round bottom in his face. And his now former girlfriend had gone off with the trucker, leaving him stiff as a post!

"Is it your leg muscle?"

Peter opened his eyes. Honeydews was running her hands up and down his thighs, her big brown eyes searching his. She had leaned forward giving him a high beam flash.

"No," he said through gritted teeth. "It's not my leg." Not that leg at least. Today the doctors had cut him loose, but could he be alone long enough to satisfy his urges? Or course not!

"Are you sure? Well, maybe it's your groin muscle." Her hands moved higher than any man should be expected to stand. The edge of her palm rubbed his tip back and forth, back and forth. I mean, Christ's sake, just what did she think she was massaging anyways?

"Stop it!" He shouted, sitting up so suddenly Nurse Honeydews fell heavily onto the floor, smack on her bottom. "You want to know where it hurts:?" He tossed off his sheet and let his swollen dong spring from between his clenched legs. "There!" He let himself wave in front of her startled face. "See what you've done?"

"What- What I've done?" Nurse Honeydews' legs were splayed and Peter could easily see her little pink panties with a red heart over the crease of her crotch. She shut her legs and tugged her skirt down.

"I'm not this big normally!" It felt thrilling to finally let himself hang out.

"You're not?" Honeydews said disbelievingly. "I just thought-- I didn't realize that I was—"

"That you were tormenting me?" interrupted Peter. "Just look at me! Look at how tight the skin is. All those bulging veins. The head is soooo swollen. And my balls, my balls are as big as—"

"As big as baseballs!" Nurse Honeydews crawled on her knees to between Peter's legs, her eyes focused on his regulation sized nuts. "I'm so sorry! I had no idea..." She reached up and slowly stroked the underside of his sack.

"Oh Jesus, yes," he groaned. She quickly took a ball in each hand and began to massage him. "Oh fuck, yes, you little cock tease!"

But Nurse Honeydews gave a little squeak at that and jumped to her feet.

"I—I shouldn't be doing this," she said, her breath quick. "A nurse should never take advantage of her patient." Through the crisp fabric of her top, Peter could see the large bumps of her nipples rising. She was also rubbing her thighs together in agitation.

"Nurse Honeydews, can't you see I'm in horrible pain? Can't you feel it?" He reached out and took her unresisting hand and put it round his cock.

She went beet red but her small cool hands wrapped willingly around his thick shaft. She had never handled someone so large, so hot and throbbing.

"Oh I can. Such a large, swollen... I guess I have to help you." She began to stroke him and massage his balls. "It's my duty."

She pressed him back onto the bed and put herself between his legs, running her hands up his thighs and onto his shaft, catching his swollen tip and pulling, pulling on it.

"How is that?" she asked looking up at him. "Is that better?"

"Better?" His eyes seemed to go red with lust. "Better once I've fucked those melons of yours." With a quick jerk he pulled her top open and let her boobs spill out and around his red hot cock.

"Peter!" she gasped as he cupped her overflowing jugs, a thumb and forefinger on each dark brown erect nozzle and began to pump his dick between them. "Such language!" She arched her neck as he squeezed her nipples rhythmically and his dick plowed her lovely soft pillows. So soft!

But though he'd hungered for this very sight, of his reddened dong fucked her lovely soft white boobies for the last five weeks, it wasn't enough now, not by a long shot, and it would be a very long shot. He pushed her upright on her knees.

"Get that uniform off," he gasped. "You're gonna get messy."

Without a word, she pulled off her black belt and popped the rest of the buttons on her uniform. She dropped her white one piece to the ground. Peter grunted. In just her nurse's cap, pink panties, white stockings and high heels, Nurse Honeydews was as leggy as a fledgling but busty as a lowing milk cow.

Grinning she hopped onto the bed between his leg and rubbed the tip of his cock with her cheek.

"I know what you want me—" she began, but at that instance the door handle began to turn.

"Quiet!" hissed Peter, flinging the bed sheet over his lap, legs and the naughty Nurse Honeydews between them.

The door opened and in walked a young blond, younger than Nurse Honeydews, in a red and white striped tank top and matching pleated skirt. Peter groaned. This hospital had the sexiest uniforms.

"Hi, Mr. Pleasance! Aren't yah feeling any better?" asked the girl in a nasally voice.

"Oh, hi Cindy," said Peter. Cindy was one of the first-year college girls that the hospital employed as candy stripers to 'cheer-up' the patients. She was probably the most annoying part of Peter's five week stay. She apparently viewed patients as her god-given audience for her endless prattle about her superficial life.

"Yeah, I'm not feeling well today, Cindy," said Peter, taking a sharp intake of breath as a wet tongue lapped the underside of his prick. "Maybe another day?"

"Oh no! It'll do you good" said Cindy, shutting the door and coming over to the bed. Everyday she bathed herself in a new scent. Today was...

"It's Peaches and Creams!" she said, bending over him so his nose was virtually buried in her chest. Not a bad chest at all – a bit smaller that Honeydews' -- but very firm!

His balls got a sharp thwack as of someone flicking them with surprisingly strong hands. It didn't for an instance stop him from getting even harder.

"Mmm, you like?" asked Cindy, completely misinterpreting his wide, pained eyes.

"Wow," groaned Peter. "That's amazing!" He swung his legs together boxing a naughty nurse's ears.

"You want me to straighten up the bed?" asked Cindy, looking at the funny shaped bumps at the foot of the bed.

Suddenly there were teeth pressing pointedly around Peter's penis.

"No!" cried Peter straightening up as much as he dared. "Wh-what happened to you today?"

It was the perfect distraction for Cindy, herself. She forgot all about the bed and began to tell the story of her day.

The teeth disappeared, replaced by soft full lips and a tongue. Slowly, as Cindy blathered, the lips engulfed more and more of Peter's dick, a soft liquid tingle that went down and down to his base. He sighed heavily. He could feel her nose in his pubic hair and his bulging head was all the way down her sword swallowing throat. She was perfectly still, just holding him throbbing in her mouth. And—he – couldn't—MOVE!!

"Yeah, but the worst thing was what he said to me in his office after class!" Peter tried valiantly to focus. She was on about one of her college professors. He actually expected her to get assignments in on time and for them to not be covered with little hearts and bunny stickers.

"What did he do to-- I mean, say to you?" squeaked Peter. It felt like Nurse Honeydews' tongue had coiled round his cock several times and was squeezing him slowly like a boa constrictor.

"He-- he told me I was a retard," said Cindy, her chin trembling.

"Oh no!" gasped Peter, but more because naughty Nurse Honeydews had started to slowly bob up and down on his dick.

"He said I was vapid, and asked stupid questions--"

"No, no, no!" moaned Peter as Nurse Honeydews built up speed, tugging his balls as she sucked and sucked on him.

"And he said I was distracting all of the boys and some of the girls with my short skirts and big hooters."

"I-- I can't BELIEVE it!" cried Peter as his cock was engulfed again and again in a hungry wet mouth.

"Oh Mr. Pleasance!" said Cindy, standing on her tippytoes and throwing her arms around his shoulders. "You're the only one who sees how wrong he is!" She pressed her bubbly little head to his broad shoulders and her soft, bountiful boobs to his chest.

"There, there Cindy," said Peter. His dick seemed to be his own again, released from Honeydews' succubus mouth. "You're a wonderful girl."

The words were no sooner out of his mouth than a female hand, Nurse Honeydews', slipped out of the bed sheets and began to squeeze the candy striper's bottom. Cindy's panties were red and white striped as well!

"Oh, Mr. Pleasance," said Cindy in a husky voice. "You are a naughty patient." Before Peter could say anything the hand reared back and gave Cindy's bottom such a smack that her skirt flew up over her hips.

"Owww!" cried Cindy, rearing back. Peter caught her by the arm. He had to explain, or make something up or-- But Cindy was smiling at him.

"No, no you're right. I'm the naughty one." She rubbed her busty chest against his and looked at him with fluttering eyelashes. "I think I need a real good spanking, Mr. Pleasance."

"You-- do?" Five weeks of only looking sure was coming to an end!

"Yes, Mr. Pleasance. Spank me. Spank me hard!" Cindy sprang onto the bed and thrust herself over Peter's lap.

"Watch out!" Peter cried, but when he looked under the sheet the space between his legs was less one mischievous nurse.

"Watch out for your enormous cock?" giggled Cindy. His prick had sprung up between her lithe legs.

"Ummmm, yeah!" growled Peter giving Cindy's firm cheek a smack. "You wouldn't want to impale yourself on it!"

"Ooooo! Wouldn't I?" Cindy wiggled her bottom invitingly. "I'm a slutty little candy striper." Peter smacked her across both cheeks. She purred and rubbed herself on his prong.

"Why didn't you just fuck your prof's brains out?" asked Peter.

"Who says he didn't bend me over the desk after he made me all sad?" countered Cindy.

Nurse Honeydews' eyes appeared at the side of the bed between Cindy's legs. Peter gulped. What was she going to do, bust Cindy? She reached out slowly towards the humping girl and-- ripped the candy striper's panties right off her round little bottom!

"Mr. Pleasance! You savage!" Cindy laughed, not even looking around. She still had no idea they weren't alone. The silly candy striper immediately rubbed her wet glistening twat across the tip of Peter's cock.

"Oh! Oh! Holy fuck!" moaned Peter smacking Cindy's bottom a blushing red. It was the only part of the shameless girl to blush - that was for sure.

"G-gosh Mr. Pleasance, you sure don't fool around," gasped Cindy. Nurse Honeydews took Peter's dong and parted Cindy's inflamed pink pussy lips.

Peter just grunted, spanking Cindy harder, pounding her quivering cunt down over his rigid cock. He was going to fill this silly girl all the way up.

"Oh yeah, Mr. Pleasance. Make me take it all!" Her bottom flexed eagerly.

And all would have ended in the usual way if not for Nurse Honeydew. Through lust fogged eyes Peter saw her rise up again, this time with something long, thick and silver in her hand. But his senses weren't that connected to his brain...

She was already plunging it forward before he realized what was happening. What was going to happen.


The scream-- half-orgasmic, half outraged-- echoed throughout the hospital.

Cindy burst out of Peter's room into the hallway, her eyes wild with fright. Passing patients were bemused to see a long silver dildo sticking out of her ass and pussy juice running down the insides of her legs.

"Don't worry." Nurse Honeydews laughed and crawled into bed with Peter. "I oiled it up with your spunk before I gave the little tramp her anal pleasure."

"You scared the hell out of her," Peter groaned. And scared the fuck out of him too! Cindy had gushed all over him, but he was still maddeningly rock hard.

"You had your thumper deep in her twat and your hands on her knockers. She must have thought you'd sprung a second dick." She trailed her hand up Peter's tool, licking the froth from her fingertips. She wrinkled her nose. "She got you all messy."

"Yes, she didn't clean up," Peter agreed. He leaned back and smiled up at her. She was fabulously top-heavy with those nipples like nozzles.

"I guess the poor nurse will have to save the day," she said dramatically. She knelt again and took Peter in her hands, sucking him gently into her mouth. With a few pulls his cock emerged from her lips glistening clean.

"I could REALLY use some physio, Nurse." Peter moaned, looking down at her longingly.

"Yes, you've gotten really stiff," agreed Nurse Honeydews. She slipped her pink panties over her white stockings and high heels, revealing a neat triangle of a jet black pussy.

Peter stroked her there. She was velvet soft and quite wet. She arched her back and let out a raspy moan. Then her eyes sprang open and before he knew it she was straddling him, lowering herself slowly down onto his cock.

"Oh gosh," she drawled. "I need to do more stretching exercises!" she said as Peter's swollen head spread her open. She bobbed gently up and down, oiling him with her juices.

"How did little Cindy take so much of you?" she asked, gasping as slowly she had him part her soft snug channel.

"Oh, I spanked her all the way down," said Peter tapping his hands on Honeydews' magnificent flanks.

"Don't try that shit on me." Honeydews sank all the way down him, his mushroom head lodged deep and tight in her. She rippled her muscles, making him gasp. "I'm a man eater."

"Oh. Oh, yes," muttered Peter his hands tightening on her hips. "Chew on me."

And so she did, bouncing and flexing on him breathing harder and harder as she did, his fingers digging into her haunches. Her breasts, if not heavy with milk, heavy with their loveliness, smacked his face.

He cried out, holding her impaled on his cock, which gave a mighty twitch. He fastened his lips on one of her long nipples, sending pulses of pleasure up to her now fevered brain and straight down to her hot, wet, cock-pounded pussy. He cried again, and his cock jetted its load into her -- a wall straining convulsion of pure passion.

She squealed and thrust herself up and down on him wildly. Her buttocks made great slaps and her pussy went GORP! GORP! GLORP! as his spewing dick thrust in and out. She breathed heavily, awash. The climax of her pussy blossomed throughout her entire body, flushing her pink.

Peter grunted savagely, bucked into her again and again, smacking her ass as he did.

"You bastard!" Honeydews screamed but despite herself, climaxed all the harder.


Later at the nurses' station, Honeydews watched a furtive Cindy sneak back into Peter's room. After a half hour of smacking sounds and then a long drawn out squeal, Cindy came back out, her hair mussed, her face red and the silver dildo wagging like a tail from under her red and white skirt.

"I think Mr. Pleasance is really taking to his physio-therapy," she said to her supervisor.

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