Obsession

"Obsession"

By LoyalHound

I opened the package with butterflies in my stomach. I knew what was in it and it scared me. Why had I ordered a tawse? I wasn't into that. Yet I had ordered it and it scared me, because I knew I would ask my boyfriend to use it on me. I'd ask him to put me over his knees and lift my skirt and pull down my panties and use it on my ass and reduce me to tears and then, a few days later I would probably ask him to use it on me again. There was an established pattern.

First had come the 8.5 inch silicon dildo with a suction cup base. I already had a vibrator; why had I bought it? I would put a cushion on the floor of my kitchen, kneel in from of my refrigerator, mount the new dildo at a convenient height and practice oral sex and deep throat on it. I soon overcame my gag reflex and now my boyfriend enjoys the caress of the back of my throat regularly and, these days, I always swallow.

Next had been a couple of smaller dildos, a set of butt plugs, an enema set, and some anal lubricant. I practiced every day for a week until I was confident I could take my boyfriend's cock up the rear without pain. I than asked my boyfriend to use me that way and he does, regularly, even though he has to use a vibrator on me afterward to bring me to climax. I enjoy the utter submission of the thing, being used only as an object for my lover's pleasure, but why had I wanted so hard to experience being fucked up the ass? It's not like my boyfriend had ever asked about it before I asked him to sodomize me.

After that I ordered the bondage gear: locking leather wrist and ankle bands and a locking leather collar, a set of spreader bars, and various other straps and restraints. These, at least, are often fun. I especially like it when he restrains me and teases me with a vibrator, forcing me to multiple climaxes. Wearing chains between my ankle bands and wrist bands and other restraints all weekend is less fun, though my boyfriend says they made me look hot and he loves to watch the measured way I have to move when in shackles, so I guess it's worth it.

When I purchased the tail plug, I couldn't have told you why. My boyfriend mentioned animal roleplay maybe once, and then nothing would do for me but to try it. Being led on a leash on all fours with a tail plug in my ass roleplaying as a dog is a distinctly mixed pleasure. I do enjoy some things about it and the headspace it puts me in but, enjoy it or not, it is something I regularly ask my boyfriend to command of me and I can't say why.

Now I'd gone and ordered a leather tawse and I knew it was going to hurt and I knew I would ask for the hurt. What the hell was wrong with me?

Now Sam (that's my boyfriend) has become very pleased with my obsessions. He was hesitant at first, but he's always pleased with the result, and seems to be looking forward to what I'll come up with next.

I looked at myself in the mirror, examining my naked ass. What will it look like after he uses the tawse on it? Will it heal quickly? Damn I was confused. Maybe I should ask Cheryl to try that device she's working on to alter the brain to control oppressive compulsive disorder on me. She has had me in the device a few times to help calibrate the thing, but that's a read only activity that doesn't alter brain function, even if it makes my head buzz sometimes. She's doing limited human testing and it has been very effective for some patients.

Cheryl is awesome. She's smart and wise and kind and capable and kind and she's gets along with both me and Sam even though he's her ex. She says he deserves the best and she is happy I'm with him. She says I can be the woman he deserves. Isn't that sweet?

I looked at the tawse. You know what could make this worthwhile? Rules and expectations. I should talk it over with Sam after my first spanking. Have him set some rules for me, to make me a better person and a better girlfriend. If I have rules he will spank me for breaking, I won't feel he has to spank me for no reason. Spankings, when they do occur, wouldn't be my random obsession but a correction to encourage me to better myself.

Maybe that's my real obsession: making myself a better girlfriend for Sam.